Forgotten

My name is Lydia.

No... No, my name was Lydia. I am no longer Lydia. She was a carefree woman, living a simple, calm life in Asgard. She had a loving husband and a wonderful daughter. Lydia was happy.

My name is H157. I am a prisoner, a human held captive in the ranch that bears my hometown's name. I am an empty shell. I am Lydia's shadow.

I was brought here three years ago, along with my husband, William, and our daughter, Marissa, who was only five years old at the time.

They came without warning. Attacked our village in the dead of night and kidnaped three families, including my own. If I listen, I can still hear the screams, the roaring flames, the sounds of my life being torn apart.

Already, though, the memory of that night is faint in my mind. I barely remember anything before the incident, either. Such is the curse of this place. One is so preoccupied with the present, trying to simply stay alive, that they no longer have the strength to remember the past.

William and I struggled even more than the average prisoner, trying to raise a daughter in such horrid conditions. Never in my life had I felt so helpless, watching as the pure mind of my daughter was tainted with atrocities she was never meant to see. She knew the pain of death all too well by the age of six.

My life in the ranch was not well known. I was just an ordinary prisoner, struggling to live just as all the others were. I knew the pains of death and sorrow, just as the others did. But, unlike many of the others, I also knew hope. But, when I lost my hope, I lost myself. I became another victim of the Desians. Just another one of the thousands.

;.–.;.–.;

It was dusk, though, technically, it was truly impossible to tell. The Desians had forced me to work inside that day; for all I knew it could've been the middle of the afternoon.

The butt of a spear jabbed painfully into my back, the soldier wielding it laughing cruelly as a small whimper escaped my lips. Using the spear as leverage, he shoved me forward, forcing my feet from under me. I fell to the floor, trying and failing to force back the strained gasp for air that resulted.

His smirk turned to a scowl, and he grabbed a handful of my hair, dragging me to my knees with a snarl. "Not a sound," he hissed, digging his boot into my back. Several wounds I had gotten earlier that day broke open from the force, each one screaming with newfound pain.

"On your feet, woman!" My body shrieked in protest as I struggled to stand, my knees shaking from sheer fatigue. The Desian, not at all pleased with my lack of quick response, shoved me back to the floor with a swift kick, again barking the order at me. "On your feet!"

I got to my knees, then staggered to my feet, gritting my teeth as the muscles in my legs shuddered and threatened to fail. The Desian shoved the butt of his spear into my back again, forcing me forward. "Walk!" he shouted.

My feet moved automatically, my legs shaking with each step. Other prisoners peered at me through their glass cells, many with pained looks in their eyes. They were dirty and bleeding, each one with a different set of cuts and bruises. I touched my face hesitantly, winching as my fingers made contact with warm blood.

"Walk!" The soldier shoved the weapon once more, opening more of the numerous wounds on my back. I felt blood pour from the ripped vessels, sending sickened shivers down my spine.

Finally, the Desian stopped me, gripping the back of my collar. He jerked the filthy fabric against my throat as he punched in the code for my cell, and I clawed desperately at the dress, my lungs deprived of the air they needed.

The door slid open with a mechanical hiss and a rush of air. He released my dress, shoving me roughly. I stumbled into the small room, gasping for air. My legs finally gave out, and my body crumbled to the floor as the door slid shut once more, closing us off from the sounds of the outside.

"Lydia!" I felt arms wrap around me, pulling me gently into a sitting position. My eyes blurred and focused periodically, making it difficult for me to make out any faces in the dark room. I recognized the voice, however, to belong to a friend I had made since coming to the ranch. She was a compassionate girl, about twenty years old named Catherine.

She brushed my hair out of my face, her dark blue eyes widening in horror. "Oh dear goddess!" she cried, tightening her grip around me. Several other prisoners gathered around us, whispering anxiously to each other.

"Look! Look what they did to Lydia!"

"Monsters! All they've done is torture the poor woman today! First they take William and now this!"

I tensed at the sound of my husband's name. I squirmed in Catherine's grasp, possibilities already flying haphazardly through my mind. A din of voices cried out as I moved, begging me not to strain myself.

Still I struggled, fighting against Catherine's embrace. Finally, I gave up trying to get her to release me. I twisted to face the other prisoners, still speaking to me in anxious tones. "William!" I cried out suddenly, "What have they done to my William!"

A deathly silence.

I felt a wave of panic fill me, and the possibilities cascading through my mind took a turn for the worst, each one frightening me more than the last. "Tell me!" I shrieked, already bordering on hysteria.

I stiffened as Catherine enfolded me in a true embrace, her arms pulling me close. I felt her body shaking. "... I'm so sorry, Lydia," she breathed, "I'm... so sorry."

She didn't have to say anymore. Every ounce of panic in my body transformed to desperation. I shoved away from her, gaining newfound strength in my disbelief.

"No!" I screeched, staggering to my feet. My knees shook and gave way; no amount of willpower could relieve the fatigue I felt. My body collapsed once more to the ground, and warm tears spurted forth as I slumped against the wall.

"No... no, no, no, no, no..." The word spilled recklessly from my mouth, my voice weak and shaking from grief. "... He can't be... Th-They couldn't have..."

"... They did, Lydia," Catherine murmured. She was at my side again, her arms wrapped around my shoulders. In any other circumstance, a friend wouldn't have said such a blunt comment. But here, bluntness was comfort. "I..." she swallowed hard, looking away, "... I saw it."

I gave a cry of pure anguish, whirling and burying my head into her shoulder. She rocked me gently, murmuring comforts into my ear. The tears refused to stop. No pain I had ever felt in my entire life had been so excruciating. I was falling apart.

A stern voice rang out, betraying the cloud of sadness in the room. "Lydia, you have to calm down." This voice was new, I had only known it for a few days. A girl named Chocolat, taken here from Palmacosta. She knelt at my side, and held my shoulder gently as Catherine released me. The others hung back, their faces long with a knowing sadness.

Chocolat hugged me softly. "I know what it's like to lose someone," she said gently, "I know it's hard, but Marissa will come back soon. You have to be strong for her."

Her words were more comforting than anything I had heard. Marissa would be crushed, even more than I had been, when she learned her father was not coming back. She would come to me for comfort, and I would have to be there.

Gradually, my ragged breathing fell silent, though tears still poured in a steady stream down my face.

"Are you alright now?" I looked up at the girl, nodding wordlessly. She smiled faintly. The first time I had seen a smile in years.

She had only been here a few days, and already her face was bruised and dirty. Her hair, though tied back, was matted at knotted. My heart ached for her. She couldn't have been older than seventeen.

I winced as there was a familiar rush of air, then the cruel bark of a Desian. "Brat! Stop blubbering and get in there!"

Marissa's pained whimper reached my ears as the glass slid shut again. Her small face was streaked with mud, her tears transforming the dirt caked on her cheeks. She stood still for a few moments, then leapt at me with a racking sob, burying her face into my shoulder.

New tears sprang to my eyes, falling from my face to the disgusting dress my daughter was forced to wear. She clung tightly to me, her body shaking violently. "M-Mama...!" she sobbed, coughing the words through her tears. "M-Mama.. They... they took P-Papa away!" She choked back another sob, taking a deep, shuddering breath in a futile effort to calm herself.

I didn't answer her. I just hugged her close to my body, and let my own tears fall once more.

;.–.;.–.;

"... He was with the Chosen! He... He saved all of those people! I-I couldn't believe it...!"

I heard Chocolat sob audibly in the darkness. The Desians had shut off the lights for night, and now I could see nothing but what was right in front of me.

It had been three days since William was murdered by those monsters. His death instilled something in the girl, something she had to let out.

I listened silently to her story, gently stroking my sleeping daughter's hair. It was difficult, hearing the teenager cry as she did. I had relied on Chocolat for strength those past few days.

She told me her story through her tears. To me, it was a fanciful tale. She said that the Chosen and her companions had actually infiltrated the human ranch near Palmacosta after learning she had been kidnaped on a pilgrimage. She told me that she had been hopeful until the leader of the ranch told her the terrible crime one of the Chosen's companions had committed.

"He... murdered her!" Chocolat cried, her voice dripping with anguish. "He... He even admitted it! The Chosen even admitted it!"

She was quiet for a few moments, then spoke again, this time her voice dropping significantly in volume. "I... didn't want to be saved by him," she said, her voice much calmer, "I... couldn't stand the thought of my grandmother's murderer... protecting me." Her voice faded away, her sobs becoming the only sound in the small room.

Finally, even her cries fell quiet. I remained silent for a moment, then spoke softly, hesitantly. "Chocolat?"

She appeared at my side, eyes puffy and red from crying. Wordlessly, she curled up beside me, leaning her head on my shoulder. Streams of tears streaked down her face, even after she closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep.

Marissa stirred in her own dreams, clinging loosely to the front of my dress. Her eyes scrunched in a nightmare, and a soft, forlorn, "... Papa..." passed her lips.

Softly, I began to murmur the words of a lullaby, gently stroking my daughter's hair once more. Her face softened, and she sighed in contentment, her nightmare passing.

Chocolat yawned briefly. Her tears had stopped and her breathing had become even; she was asleep as well. I continued to sing, gently hugging her shoulders with one arm.

Tears welled up in my eyes, dripping down my face as I sang. I could feel my husband there, singing the lullaby with me.

I could remember him teaching it to me when Marissa was just a few months old.

I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to break apart when I was trying to be strong for the children.

;.–.;.–.;

Sharp leather cracked against my back, the force ripping through my dress and tearing at the flesh below. I bit my lip, gripping the create before me in a desperate attempt not to cry out. I dug my feet into the earth, shoving the crate through the dust before the soldier became angry again.

I heard another whip crack, and winced as it was followed by Catherine's soft whimper. I shut my eyes tight, throwing my weight against the crate, trying to drown out what happened next.

It was an unwritten rule in the ranch not to make a sound unless directly addressed. If you did make a sound, the more Desians around you that heard it, the worse. Several of the soldiers around us shouted at my friend, hurling insults and threats at her.

Ahead of me, Chocolat stiffened, prepared to snap when it came. "Chocolat!" I hissed, praying with all my might that only she heard me. "Whatever happens, don't make a single move, hear me?"

She nodded stiffly, but I saw her shoulders shake with suppressed anger as the first cracks rang out.

I squeezed my eyes shut as Catherine's screams filled the air. I gripped the crate as tightly as my fingers would allow, forcing back tears. I heard her slump to the ground, then, only the sounds of the Desians' laughter.

"Let that be a lesson to all of you!" One of the whipmasters shouted, snapping his weapon threateningly against the ground. Every single one of us flinched, making the soldiers laugh more.

I knew Chocolat was crying. All of us were. Catherine lay motionless on the ground behind us, and no one went to help her.

No one had that kind of strength anymore.

We continued on in silence. Every now and then, a Desian would yell, cracking his whip simply to make us all flinch. A heavy air of depression hung around us, and I kept my head down, trying to ignore the atrocities going on around me.

Suddenly, the entire area fell silent. Every Desian ceased shouting and held their whips still. I raised my eyes slightly, seeing the several soldiers assigned to watching us lined up shoulder-to-shoulder. Another Desian I assumed was their Commander, had appeared on the side, speaking to them in a low tone. He stood stock straight, an intricate-looking staff held in his right hand. A golden plume flared from his helmet, a sign of his status.

We continued on with our work, enjoying every second we got free of the soldier's torment.

They spoke for a few more moments, then the Commander gave a sharp nod. He turned on his heel and disappeared into the barracks. Immediately, the soldiers flocked around us, their whips cracking in the air. "You got a lucky break!" one barked, "Hold still, humans!"

We obeyed, several of us (including myself) slumping against our crates from exhaustion. The Desians mingled with us, shoving and slapping those who weren't standing up straight. One jabbed me in the back as he passed, and I raised my head, standing as properly as I could while gripping the crate for support.

"There, that one." One of the Desians pointed, and the others agreed with nods of their heads. "F836!" he shouted, "Get over here!"

I stiffened, forcing back a cry of dismay. I recognized that number. I stared helplessly as a girl broke away from the line ahead of me. She gave me one, desperate look, then disappeared into the main building with two of our captors.

Chocolat.

;.–.;.–.;

Catherine did not come back to our cell that night.

Chocolat, however, did come back. When she did return, though, she brought heartbreaking news with her.

She stumbled into the cell late that night, and I hugged her tightly, relieved to see her well. She returned the hug, but her manner was desperate. "They're taking me away, Lydia!" she cried, "They're taking me to the ranch where Grandma was!"

I released her, gripping her shoulders. The fact hit me like a slap in the face, yet I felt more anxious that sorrowful. "Chocolat, you haveto be strong," I told her firmly. She nodded weakly, and I shook her. "You have to, Chocolat. Going to Iselia is much better than staying here. I've heard rumors that it's not as cruel!"

The way I said it made the Iselia Ranch sound like a paradise. Then again, anything was better than this place.

"B-But that's not all!" Chocolat whispered hoarsely, "It's not just me! They're taking a huge group of us!" She shrugged my hands off her shoulders and hugged me tightly again. "They're taking her too!" she sobbed, "Oh, goddess, Lydia! They're taking Marissa!"

My heart stopped dead.

I felt the blood drain from my face, and my entire body grew cold. Not only were they taking Chocolat from me, they were taking my Marissa as well! My grip around the teenager tightened, but my eyes remained wide with shock. "M-Marissa..." I whispered.

Chocolat ceased shaking, and her hug became more comforting for me. Finally, she stepped away from me, her face somber."I'll watch over her, Lydia," she said softly, her voice now calm and controlled, "I promise. I won't let them hurt her."

"Thank you, Chocolat," I responded quietly, casting my gaze to the ground. "But I need one more promise." I raised my head, looking her straight in the eye. "Don't let yourself get hurt, either. Promise me."

"I promise."

As she spoke, the glass opened again, and Marissa fell inside, falling to the ground from the force of a kick. She wailed as the door shut again, lifting herself to her hands and knees.

I fell to the ground beside her, scooping her into my arms and holding her tightly. She threw her arms around my neck. "They're taking me away Mama!" she cried, "Please come with me! You have to!"

"I can't, baby," I whispered, rocking her in my arms. "I'm so sorry... I can't..."

;.–.;.–.;

They came for the girls the next morning. Marissa clung to me, crying as the Desian shouted at her. Chocolat stood just outside of the cell, her head lowered.

"You have to go, love," I whispered to my daughter, though my grip was still tight on her. I pointed briefly, and she followed my finger. "Stay with Chocolat. She'll watch over you."

"B-But, I want you there, Mama!"

"Don't cry, baby, please," I said, my own despair betraying my voice. "I will see you again very soon. I promise." I untangled myself from her arms, and gave her a tiny push. "Now go."

The Desian seized her by the waist, dragging her, screaming, out of the cell. The door slid shut, the air compressor silencing her cries with a hiss. Chocolat looked over her shoulder briefly, and, for the split second she had, mouthed, "I'm sorry."

;.–.;.–.;

They were all gone.

William, Catherine, Chocolat, Marissa.

I was completely alone. My loneliness took a toll on my will itself, making me silent and despairing. It rid me of any will to live I had left. I did as I was told, and nothing more.

I no longer cried. I didn't have anyone to share my sorrow, so it dwelled inside me, eating me alive. I was an empty shell waiting to die.

It happened a week after Chocolat and Marissa were taken away.

We were doing the same work we did every day, pushing endless amounts of crates filled with the same luminous stones that had been placed on our hands. Desians swarmed around us, shouting orders and abusing us.

The whip lashed against my arm, leaving a pink welt in its wake. I stared blankly at it, sharp pain coursing through my arm, but not registering in my mind. I shrugged the blow off, and continued my work.

There was a click, and the mechanical sound of the door gliding open. The Commander appeared in the doorway, the feathers on his head dancing as he strode out.

He made a quick gesture with his hand and said something to the nearest soldier. He wasn't nearly as professional as he had been when he stole Chocolat from me.

The Desian he spoke to nodded hastily, then turned to face us. "H157!" he barked, pointing momentarily at me. I released my crate and came over obediently.

The Commander gripped my forearm, his nails digging painfully into my flesh. "Are you ready for Judgement, human?" He spat the last word in my face, a twisted smirk curling his lips.

He jerked me forward, practically throwing me into the barracks. I stumbled on the slick tile, only to be shoved roughly by the Commander. I managed to hold my balance, but staggered against the wall. "Get moving," the Desian hissed, pushing me again, "I've got a deadline."

I walked numbly down the hall, my surroundings unfamiliar. An unpleasant feeling lodged itself in my gut as I moved, and I wished with all my heart it would vanish. Fear.

The hall was relatively short, but the walk seemed to take hours. Images flew through my head, treasured memories and painful losses. Images of William, of Catherine, of Chocolat and Marissa.

I remembered vaguely a story William had told me years ago. He said that you see your life flashing before your eyes to prepare you for death so that you may rest in peace.

The visions didn't prepare me, and they didn't make me feel at all at peace. I had lost the will to live when I lost Marissa. The Desians had taken everything from me. My family, my friends, my very spirit. Now they were going to finish the job.

I was shoved through the next doorway into a large, cluttered room. A conveyor belt ran in the center, and various, creaking machines lined the walls. Wires streaked over the ceiling like snakes, their venom sparks of electricity. Was this... death?

A nearby Desian grabbed my arm, dragging me toward him. He snapped a pair of heavy shackles around my wrists, tossing the key in a random direction over his shoulder when he was finished. The identification code 'H157' was printed on the metal in large, ominous letters.

They'd even stolen my name from me.

Another soldier shoved me, and I stumbled forward a few steps, where yet another one grabbed my shoulders roughly. He forced my head forward, making me stare down the rumbling conveyor.

My fear vanished. I was looking Death in the face, and I was... oddly comforted. My life in this hellish place was finally ending. Suddenly, my daughter's hopeful face appeared in my mind's eye. I lowered my head mournfully. I'm sorry Marissa. I won't be able to fulfill my promise.

"Rest in peace," the Desian said, his voice mockingly sweet. He gave me a gentle push, and I stepped onto the conveyor, the mechanism pulling me forward. At the end of the belt, I could see a mechanical claw busying itself with the murder of countless prisoners.

My mind was flooded with memories I once believed forgotten. They calmed me, in a way. My life, however short it had been, now proved to me that it had some meaning. I prayed silently, Martel... Please keep them safe... Please protect Chocolat and Marissa...

Finishing my last prayer, I raised my head, my eyes meeting the smooth glass of a wide window. A cruel joke played by the Desians to give their prisoners false hope before they died, I assumed vaguely. I glanced out the window as I passed. What I saw awed me.

A group of six, backed up against the dead end, a semi-circle of Desians trapping them. At the center of the half-elves stood the leader of the ranch, the man who had inflicted such pain on the people imprisoned here.

But he wasn't the one I was staring at. There was a boy in the center of the six, a child no older than seventeen. Time seemed to slow as I passed, watching in wonder.

"His name was Lloyd. He was the same age as me, and his clothes were the brightest red."

A boy in red. Chocolat's words rang in my head as I watched. Another of the six confronted the Desians, an older girl with the blackest hair I had ever seen. She raised a hand, and the group disappeared in a puff of smoke.

The window slowly slipped away from me, yet the image of the boy remained vivid in my mind. Somewhere inside me, I knew.

That boy was Lloyd. The one who saved the people at Palmacosta, and the one who would save the people trapped here.

I stared as the mechanical claw dipped down, securing itself firmly on the glowing orb attatched to the back of my left hand. It pulled back swiftly, and the orb came loose.

A rush of pain shot through me, the feeling excruciating despite its short duration. Just before the darkness enveloped me, however, I did something I hadn't done in three long years.

I smiled.