The title, strangely enough, was the title of a project that my friend did in Science Fiction Literature. It amused me SO MUCH and it actually FIT, so I'm using it. Thanks, Val!
If I owned Naruto, Neji would've killed Kidoumaru with the World's Largest Newspaper.
"You can never defeat me. Fate has dictated…"
Tenten made no effort to disguise her yawn as anything else as she gathered up the weapons strewn by Neji's Kaiten.
"Blah blah blah fate blah fate blah blah…"
It was infuriating, to say the very least, but she controlled her features, tucked the final kunai into her pouch and straightened.
"…cannot overcome your destiny…"
Granted, he HAD gotten better after suffering defeat at the calloused hands of Uzumaki Naruto, and no longer did he believe every single thing was based off fate, but occasionally Hyuuga Neji had…relapses.
"Fate can't defeat youthful opportunity!" Rock Lee countered, readying himself by sinking down into a fighting stance.
Neji ignored this and folded his arms across his chest. "Once again, Lee, you can't beat me."
It was his favorite word, wasn't it? Fate had cursed him to be a Branch member and plastered that seal on his forehead and forced him to share a team with Lee and Tenten. She understood all too well that he had gone through so much, but if he used THAT WORD one more time…
Lee obstinately refused to stand down and defer to fate, which Tenten heartily approved of. "My rival, destiny will perish today!"
Neji didn't even bat an eyelash. "Destiny decreed that your own fate is already…"
He trailed off, noticing that Lee wasn't looking at him anymore-- rather, he was shakily pointing to a spot just behind him. And it was THEN that he felt…it. The special Tenten glare, reserved for when she was REALLY pissed. And boy, was she PISSED.
"Hyuuga…Ne…ji…" When he reluctantly turned his head to acknowledge her, the glare was turned on full-force. "You've said that word seventeen times in the past ten minutes. Do you KNOW how annoying that is?"
He shrugged. "Obviously, you weren't fated to--"
"I'LL show you FATE!" Tenten had truly grown tired of this and, before Neji could formulate a protest, she'd seized him by the collar and dragged him out of the training grounds, stopping only when she'd entered a generic restaurant and plopped him down in a chair.
Now, Neji disliked many things. He hated to be humiliated, for one. That would explain why he most certainly DIDN'T appreciate being hauled through Konohagakure by none other than Tenten--TENTEN! And, to make matters even worse, everyone had seen. Little children had stopped, stared and pointed until their (staring) mothers had hurried them away. Naruto, in particular, had laughed so hard that he'd accidentally choked on his ramen and Akimichi Chouji had had to prod him sharply in the back with his chopsticks to remind him to swallow correctly. This was a small victory and a price to pay for Neji's embarrassment, but Naruto deserved it for having dared to snicker. Which reminded him…
"Tenten." It was all he had to say, and she immediately looked guilty. It was all he could do not to smile as he watched her fidget uncomfortably and avoid his eyes.
"It's time," she carefully spoke, still refusing to look at him. "It's time for you to leave it behind."
Neji quirked an eyebrow.
"FATE," the weapons mistress clarified, perfectly comprehending the puzzled question buried beneath his usual stillness.
"And bringing me to a restaurant will accomplish this?" To think, he'd always thought of Tenten as the stable one on their team, but maybe she'd been around Lee too long.
She sighed. "Fortune counters fate, right? By telling your fortune, you'll learn that you CAN defeat fate!"
Oh, no. What he had been secretly dreading had finally happened! Lee HAD been rubbing off on her! He stole a glance at her, afraid to see…but no, her clothing hadn't changed to green spandex and her eyebrows remained nice and thin.
"Tenten…" The Hyuuga's eye twitched. "NEVER say something like that again."
Tenten disregarded that and pointed to the small, cream-colored cookie lying in front of him. "We'll start small. First, fortune cookies."
She was insane. There was no other explanation, he thought, watching her calmly munch the noodles that a serving girl had apparently brought by. How was fortune supposed to help? But something made him decide to humor her, so he neatly broke the cookie in half and extracted the slip of paper from within. His eyes carefully scanned the words, before a languid smirk inched its way onto his face.
"What's it say?" His teammate demanded eagerly, doing a sort of rocking motion in her seat.
Neji handed it to her without a word. She read it, then did a double-take and perused it again. He knew the words wouldn't change, regardless of how many times she reread them, but it was rather comical to observe her facial expressions. He himself had about five: Annoyed, Smug, Pleased, Prideful, and Angered. Lately, a new one called Tranquility had been added to the mix, but that was still only six. And Tenten had just gone through thirteen different emotions in under a minute, ranging from surprised to incensed, with frustration thrown somewhere in the middle.
"T-this…" She was trembling now, her rocking and noodles all but forgotten. "This says…'
"'Fate is the key to your happiness'," he finished pleasantly, the smug look returning with a vengeance.
Valiantly, Tenten managed to quell her rising temper (although she kicked her chair as she stood up). "Oh…well, those things are overrated, anyway! Next up…the shrine!"
But when Neji had drawn the lot from the Omikuji box and passed the Good Luck fortune off, the kunoichi looked about ready to stab the next thing that moved.
"'Just keep on doing what you've been doing. Destiny is important'!" She spluttered, completely nonplussed at the writing under "General Outcome". "What're these stupid things trying to say?"
Neji shook his head at her. "What I've been telling you all along."
"Stupid damned…IDIOTIC…" Tenten's voice kept steadily rising and she was now tearing the poor paper into little bitty shreds. "Not so destined NOW, ARE YOU?" She threw the pitiful scraps on the ground, barely resisting the urge to stomp on them.
"…"
"Not. A. WORD."
"Hmm…" Tenten tilted the cup, squinting to make out the dark shape on the rim. "A drum…hey! That means change and if it's on the rim, it's VERY important!"
Neji frowned, obviously not sharing in her excitement. "…It looks more like a blob of tea leaves."
"That's because your imagination died ages ago."
He had no reply for that.
"And this one here…" Satisfied, Tenten went back to studying the tea leaves. "That's a yoke, which means a need for change and--"
"What's a volcano mean?" Neji interrupted, leaning over to look at it despite feigning disinterest.
"Umm…an upcoming emotional eruption. And this one, it's--"
She and Neji both blanched, staring in transfixed horror at a familiar-shaped clump at the bottom of the cup. Those eyebrows…that wink…those TEETH!
Ping! went the cup!
This time, it was Neji who dragged his teammate away, incredibly perturbed. He didn't WANT to know what Gai's head was doing in his tea cup. It was too, too traumatizing…
"This is the last one," Tenten said grimly (they'd tried the Kokkuri board next and failed when it had spelled out "FATE"), kneeling on the grass and shuffling her deck.
Neji leaned comfortably against the tree they were under, surveying her actions. "Tarot cards?"
"They've never failed me yet," she replied, tucking an errant strand of brown hair behind her ear. "Put your hand on top."
Not for the first time since she'd "kidnapped" him, the prodigy questioned WHY he was actually going along with this. He was just humoring her, right? Whatever the reason, he complied and gingerly placed his hand on the deck.
"It's to attune the cards to you," the kunoichi explained, (thin) eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Now, we ask your question."
"I don't have a question."
"Everyone has questions!"
"Not the kind that I can get answers to."
Tenten felt her throat clench up. Of course…Neji's father had died, he had been inflicted with that seal and forced to protect the Main Family and its secrets…and his painful questions of why this had happened to him would forever go unanswered. And she…she was…
"Tenten?" Neji's dry voice carried the faintest bit of concern, but she heard it anyway. "Are you…crying?"
"H-huh?" She scrubbed at her stinging eyes and belatedly discovered that there was just a trace of moisture gathering in the corners. "Umm…no, my…my eyes are just watering, that's all!"
Neji snorted, evidently skeptical. He didn't believe that for a second and worse, they both knew she was lying.
Now flustered, Tenten blurted out, "Ask them if your belief in destiny will change!"
He stared at her fixedly. "I am not addressing inanimate objects."
"If you don't do this, you'll be miserable for the rest of your life!"
"I'm not miserable."
The girl said nothing, just looked at him with an expression that he couldn't decipher. Neji looked back and there they sat, holding a heated staring contest until both simultaneously realized that if someone chanced to happen by and see them gazing stubbornly into each other's eyes…well, they might get the wrong idea.
"…Please," Tenten finally uttered, cautiously resting her hand on top of his.
Neji looked down at it…and then sighed. "Will my belief in destiny change?" He grudgingly asked the deck.
His teammate's face lit up like Gai's teeth and she carefully took the deck, shuffled again, and drew five cards. She then proceeded to methodically place three of them side-by-side and then one card above and below the middle one. She pointed to the middle card. "That's the basic theme of the reading," she began, flipping it over. "The Wheel of Fortune. Since it's upright, and it's applied to your situation, it means…" Was that a twitch he saw? "…Destiny."
Neji waited for her to continue.
"This one signified past influences." She flipped the card on the far left over as she spoke. "It's the Hanged Man, upright. It means change or sacrifice."
Or both, Neji thought bitterly, thinking back to the death of his father and the separation of the Hyuuga house.
Tenten cleared her throat, now turning the card on the far right. "This is the future. An upright Fool."
The Hyuuga bristled, but she held up a warning hand. "It doesn't mean YOU! It means new beginnings and pleasure!" And passion, she silently amended, but she didn't want to scare Neji off before the reading was complete. "Anyway, the card at the bottom is the reason behind your question. And…" Once the upright card was shown, she blinked in puzzlement. "Huh…the Page of Wands. Sudden anger or love…a messenger…and, err…great and overwhelming enthusiasm."
"You were angry at me for arguing with Lee about fate and fighting," Neji supplied casually. "He clearly represents enthusiasm and you're the messenger sent to change my mind."
She perked up. "Is it working?"
"No."
Yes…that was indeed a twitch he had seen, for she had just done it again. He had to give her credit, though…she didn't give up, just muttered something about smug, snobby geniuses and touched the final card.
"This is the…no, YOUR potential." She flipped it. "…Death. Oh, stop glaring, Neji, it just means that you could either change your beliefs or, by refusing change, it could bring you great loss."
A solitary leaf blew by and Neji trained his pale eyes on it, thinking hard. Tenten's tarot cards were eerily accurate and he wasn't sure what to make of it all.
"So?" It occurred to him that his teammate was not remarkably patient. "Do you have anything to say?"
Not willing for her to see him conflicted, Neji closed his eyes and quietly inhaled a breath of crisp, fresh air. "You were fated to try this, but fate continues to be--"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! THAT DOES IT!" Tenten leapt to her feet as he blinked, confused by her suddenly-outraged tone. Then, just as abruptly, he was being yanked up by her tight grip on his shirt. "Hyuuga Neji, take control of your goddamned fate! Go against it!"
He raised both eyebrows, just to irritate her further. "And suppose I don't want to?"
Honestly, he really should have seen the gleam--the SPARK in those brown eyes, but it was too late by then. Tenten had already pulled his head down and kissed him with all the pent-up emotion she'd been hording since way too long to recount.
A wide-eyed Neji was actually very funny to look at it, Tenten thought, finally releasing him.
"…" said the genius.
The kunoichi gave him her best dignified stare. "Screw. Fate," she stated adamantly, although she was pinker than her shirt, and then strode off.
Neji watched her until she had dwindled to a mere speck and gently touched his lips. They throbbed slightly (not an entirely unpleasant feeling, just new), reminding him of what had just taken place. He really didn't believe in fate anymore, but it was fun to aggravate his teammates with.
With a tiny smile, he started after the brunette. He couldn't let her have the last word. It just wouldn't do.
After all, it could have been fate that had brought Tenten into his life and he would gladly take control of it if it meant keeping her there. There, with him.
Unfortunately, even after the resolution with her, that night, Neji had terrible nightmares of dancing teacups filled to the brim with little beaming Gais.
OOC---
11 pages…how do they get so LONG? Anyway, I had to do a bit of research on all of the methods of fortune-telling so I could do this as accurately as possible. Yes, Tenten IS a fan of that sort of thing, and I thought it'd make an interesting fic idea.
Hahaha, the volcano DID have significance!
Hope you like, Be-chan! Anyone else is welcome to leave comments!