A/N: There is a bit of fluff in here, but I tried to keep it to a minimum. Bear with me on the POVs here. For this chapter, I needed to get into both of their thoughts, because I thought that was important. I hope it is not too confusing. It may switch in subsequent chapters. This is part one of an eight chapter post–ep fic that will span from where the finale left off until the next Friday. Each chapter will be a different day.
A/N2: Thanks bridges and petunia for being my first ever betas
"Luke will you marry me?"
It wasn't really a question. More of a statement. She didn't want it to sound tentative, because that would imply she wasn't sure about what she was doing. And she was. She had never been so sure about anything – or anyone – in her entire life. There he was, standing in front of her, concocting a Pentagon-style military operation to save her daughter and get her back on track. And it hit her.
Luke is the one.
He is the one who has always been there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on.
He is the one who was always willing to pick up the slack, to reassure her she could make it – to meet the kitchen sink.
He is the one – for her. The only one. So, why should she wait another minute to make sure he knew this?
They had spent too much time waiting for each other to be ready for this relationship.
Eight years.
They had spent too much time holding in their true feelings once they started the relationship, leading to its temporary destruction.
Four months.
And now, they had spent too much time talking around the future. She knew what she wanted. She thought she knew what Luke wanted. Now, finally exposing a level of vulnerability that she rarely allowed anyone to see - to the man she never thought she would find - she sat in the chair, holding her breath and awaiting his answer.
"What?" he whispered, his face speaking volumes for the shock resonating though his mind.
She wasn't surprised by his reaction. It was the last thing he expected to hear that night, and she knew this. But she wasn't going back on what she had just said. She meant it.
"I said, will you marry me."
At this, Luke stood up straight, his chest heaving up and down in harmony with the deep breaths he took. Very slowly, his mind was coming to terms with the words that had just come out of her mouth. But he still didn't understand why she had said them, and this was something he needed to know.
His whole body suddenly felt weak when he thought of all the possible motives behind her question. Rory, her parents, the whole Friday night dinner experience – it all seemed to be too much of a coincidence that she asked him to marry her the same night her life was turned upside down.
"Lorelai, why are you asking me this?" His voice was soft. He didn't want to seem like he was accusing her.
"I am asking you if you will marry me because I want you to marry me, Luke."
"But why now? Why tonight?"
Lorelai looked down, visibly upset that he thought the proposal was solely a result of the night's events.
"Luke, look. I know you probably think I am only asking you this now because I am disappointed about Rory and want someone to cling to. But that is not it. God, if I could only explain how far from the truth that is…"
"You can," he interrupted, walking over to where she was sitting and pulling a chair out to sit down on. "I am here - right now. You can talk to me."
"I know. That is the thing, Luke. You are always here. You always have been. I am sitting here looking at you, and I know that you are the one person in my life that has always been in my corner."
"And that is why you want to marry me?" he asked. "Because I am the Mick to your Rocky?"
"Wow. Actually, now I want to marry you because you just made that movie reference," she joked.
"Lorelai," Luke warned.
"Okay. Luke, what do you want from me? I don't know what I can say to prove that I meant it. But I did. I still do."
"What I want is for you to tell me how we go from 'Rory is dropping out of Yale' to that question. What has changed in the last five minutes? I need you to be honest with me. This is not something I can answer by talking around."
"Alright…alright. Well, I was just sitting here, listening to you go on and on about how to save my daughter, and I realized that you have no ulterior motives. You were not saying these things to benefit yourself. You weren't trying to manipulate someone. You have nothing to gain. You are just – Luke. The guy who would do anything for me – and my daughter. And while you were talking, everything else dropped out of my mind. Everything about what happened tonight, about Rory, my parents and the whole ordeal, and do you know what was left when my mind was clear?"
"What's that?" Luke asked hesitantly.
"You. When everything else is cleared away, and the storm that has been my life finally calms down, you are always the one that is left. You are my rock. The only man I have ever been able to count on and the only one I want to ever count on again. I realize this now. I have always known it. You have this amazing heart that I almost feel like I don't deserve. But here we are. Together, for almost a year now. And I don't want to think about the past, or even stay in the present. I want the future – now. You are my future, my middle. I can feel it. I asked you to marry me because when I look into the future, I know that is where I want to be. I would like to think that you feel the same way."
"Lorelai, you know I feel the same way. Actually… come to think of it, maybe you don't know this. Of course I have thought about marrying you. But what does it say about us that we have never even talked about it? If we've both felt the same way about something as big as marriage and neither one of us has had the guts to talk to each other about it, maybe it isn't the right time to do this. We have things to work out. You have things to work out - with Rory and your parents. I don't want to pile the stress of an engagement on your life right now. Not yet."
Lorelai forced the slightest grin to creep across her face. It was the best she could do to hide her disappointment. He hadn't really accepted, but he wasn't rejecting her either. She still wanted to make sure she understood what he was saying.
"Luke. That conversation about marriage you are talking about. We are having it now. Do you want to marry me?"
"Yes," he answered, finally breaking the no-contact barrier they had held up to that point by placing his hand on top of hers. "I want to marry you Lorelai. But we need to slow down. I want the dust to settle with Rory and everything before we decide to get engaged. I want it to be for the right reasons. I want to do it right."
At that, Lorelai let out a somewhat defeated sigh and leaned in to give Luke a soft kiss. She didn't really have another answer to what he had just said. She was happy they were finally talking to each other about the future, and that he wanted the same thing she did. But, there was still a sinking feeling in her stomach knowing that she had just opened herself up like that, only to not hear the answer she had expected.
Luke pulled back after a moment and looked at Lorelai. He knew she was exhausted, emotionally and physically, but it didn't show in her face. Her face always looked young and perfect to him. It was her eyes that he needed to stare into to figure out what was going on in her head. Those bright blue eyes were like the keys to her soul – and right now they were telling him that she needed sleep. And, he let himself admit, she needed him.
So, taking the hint, he pulled her to her feet and enveloped her in his arms. There they stood, her head leaning on his shoulder, both not speaking. Luke felt her begin to shake, ever so slightly, against his body. He knew she was trying to hold back tears.
"Lorelai," he spoke, in a low, gentle voice. "Let's go to bed. You are tired, and this will all still be here in the morning. So will I."
Pulling her head from his shoulder, with the tears just barely holding onto her eyes, Lorelai smiled up at Luke.
"God, Luke. Thank you. Just…thank you."
Luke didn't ask for any more. He put his arm around her, locked the door, flicked off the light, and led Lorelai's worn-out body up to bed.
TBC…
A/N3: That's all for now. More issues and characters to be brought up later. Hope you will stick around. Reviews are always appreciated – good, bad and in between.