Open with cheesy music and an outside shot of a costume store. Rachael and Chandler come walking in and Chandler is not too happy. He looks extremely tired.

Rachael: C'mon Chandler. This is only the third store we have been too. You can't be that tired.

Chandler: But I am. Why do you think I have a hard time going shopping for Christmas gifts?

Rachael: So how do you shop?

Chandler: They way every red blooded American shops, the Internet.

Rachael: No wonder Monica doesn't take you shopping with her anymore.

Chandler: Can we just pick something and go, I haven't seen anything I liked yet and you have been speculating on one costume that we saw at the first store? (whining)

Rachael: Shush. If we don't find anything we like here we can go.

Chandler: You know, I could always get something for Emma online.

Rachael: NO! I want to pick it out myself, not some click happy porn looking angry shopper.

Chandler: You forgot horny.

Rachael: Whatever. OOOH! Look at these, aren't they cute?

Chandler: Sure, if you want her looking like a giant red ball.

Rachael: It's an apple. I think she would be cute as an apple.

Chandler: Whatever you say. It's not my child.

Chandler walks off into the distance as he spies something he likes. Rachael is looking around some more but decides that the apple is what she is going to get. Now she can't find Chandler.

Rachael: Chandler? Chandler! Now where did that pervert go?

Cut to: Monica's Kitchen and the pickle contest. We see the tally board and its neck and neck. The score is 35 to 35 and both Ben and Joey have slowed down since we last saw them. Joey is now holding a pickle in one hand and the cup of water in the other with a look of fullness on his face. Ben is acting the same way. Ross and Pheobe are still going at it and are the only ones that seem to be having a good time.

Ross: FLAKE!

Pheobe: GEEK!

Ross: AIRHEAD!

Pheobe: NERD!

Ross: UGLY FINGERNAIL PAINTER!

Pheobe: DORK!

Ross: HA! That's the same as what you just said! I win!

Monica: (making another tally mark for Joey) Actually a dork is a slang term for a whales' penis.

Ross: WHAT!

Pheobe: HA! Looks like someone isn't as smart as they seem! Are you sure you know what you're talking about when you teach about dinosaurs?

Ross: At least I didn't sleep with my sister's ex boyfriend there by meaning you slept with you're sister.

Pheobe: Yeah well at least I didn't say the wrong name at the alter!

Ben and Joey: ENOUGH!

Joey: Look if you guys are just going to fight…BURP…then you can just leave.

Ben: Sorry daddy, Uncle Joey is right. Please don't….urp. (acts like he is going to get sick)

Joey: Hee hee hee! Looks like I'm going to win!

Ben is now making more sickening noises and everyone is watching him, even Joey. Joey is now starting to get sick as he takes another bite of a pickle and then looks at the tally. They are still tied and if Ben loses it, he wins if he can choke down the pickle. Ben keeps making noises and Joey can't take it. He gets up and runs into the bathroom. Monica runs in after him and comes running out 5 seconds later.

Monica: WE HAVE A WINNER! WINNER BY DEFAULT THANKS TO A VOMIT COMPLEX, BEN!

Pheobe: Wait, if Ben throws up too, then it's a tie and nobody wins. THROW UP BEN, THROW UP!

Ben keeps acting like he is going to throw up as Joey comes walking back out to the table and sits down. He takes a drink of water and looks sad but keeps watching, hoping that Ben will lose his lunch. Ben looks at Joey and Joey looks at Ben. Joey eyes him down hard and Ben stares back. He picks up his net pickle and then looks at Joey with sickness in his eyes. Then all of a sudden Ben stops making noises and looks normal again. Joey looks in shock as he chomps down one final pickle for the win.

Monica: THAT"S IT! WINNER BY FAKE-OUT, BEN!

Pheobe: Cheater!

Ross: Way to go!

Ben: OUTA MY WAY! (runs off to the bathroom) Hey, he forgot to flush…..BLARF!

Monica: JOEY!

Joey: SEE YA! (runs out the door)

Cut to: Costume shop and Rachael standing outside a dressing room door. The door opens and we are looking at her from Chandler's point of view. She just starts to laugh.

Chandler: So what do you think?

Rachael: That's what you want? (still laughing)

Chandler: Yep. Monica won't like it, but I do.

Rachael: Ok, but I'm still getting the apple. Let's get out of here, I wonder if they are done yet?

Cut back to: Monica's apartment and Ross and Pheobe are sitting on the sofa not talking to each other.

Monica: Guys don't be like this. Just apologize. You both know you didn't mean it.

Pheobe: I will only apologize if he says my nails look pretty.

Ross: Yeah right.

Pheobe: Ok then, I guess I will just go and tell Ben the real story of how he lost his first mother to a lesbian.

Ross: OK OK OK! Pheobe, I'm sorry. I take back what I said. I do really love your nails. Please forgive me.

Pheobe: (beat) Ok, I forgive you. But only because I am the queen.

Cut to: Door bursting open and they all look to see Chandler standing there in the most flamboyant cowboy costume he could find. It has a red hat, vest, sheriff's badge, two cap guns, cow print chaps and boots with spurs on them.

Chandler: HOWDY PARTNERS!

Monica, Ross, Pheobe: WHAT THE!

Chandler: I heard there were some pickle eatin' bandits in these hear parts, I came here to arrest them.

Monica: Oh yeah and what's your name sheriff?

Chandler: Sheriff Peter 'Peck" Piper. You can call me 'Peck' for short.

Pheobe: At least you got the 'Peck' part right.

Cut to: End credits.