Disclaimer: I own nothing and am making no money from this. Besides, I want none of the blame for Season 5 Rory.
A/N: Well, folks, this is the last chapter! Thanks for sticking around for the ride. This story ended up in a very different place than I thought it was going to when I started it. I hope you're all happy with this ending, because I think I've wrapped everything up nicely. And now, I'll be devoting more time to Ruined in the Rain, as well as the story I'm writing for the Gilmore Girls ficathon on LJ. I can't reveal details, but it's NOT a Rory/Jess story, so that should be interesting to write. Anyway, let me know how you feel about this ending and the story in general! I love you all!
P.S. At the end of the chapter, I'm going to include things that never made their way into the story and feel free to comment on those too!
Chapter 12
Jess walked up the three flights of stairs to his apartment, still amazed that he had an apartment. He'd moved in a week ago, and it still felt bizarre to have a place that was his, a place where he lived, a place where he was home. It was taking some getting used to, but it was a nice change from the rest of his life up until this point.
Jess took out his key and went to place it in the lock. He placed his palm on the door and it gave way underneath his hand. He cocked his head to the side curiously, wondering why his door was unlocked. He pushed it open and stepped inside cautiously, looking around. There were candles lit all around the bare room, and a trail of them leading into the bedroom. Jess arched his eyebrows in skeptical shock. This was going to be interesting.
Jess tossed his keys on the scarred table and slid off his leather jacket, hanging it on the back of a chair. Curiously, he followed the trail into his bedroom. He walked through the doorway and stood there with a confident smirk that hid the excitement and shock he was feeling underneath his calm exterior. As soon as he saw the candles, he had expected Rory would be waiting, but he did not expect to be so blown away by what he saw.
There were even more candles in the bedroom, surrounding Rory with an ethereal glow. Jess's mattress, the only furniture in the room besides a dresser, was surrounded by a circle of flower petals that encircled a ring of candles. Sitting on the mattress, which had mysterious been fitted with black satin sheets, was Rory. Her legs were stretched out in front of her and crossed at the knee. On her feet were white stiletto heels. She was wearing a short, silky blue dress that Jess knew had come from Lorelai's closet. The dress stopped mid-thigh, and the thin straps were falling off her shoulders. Her short hair was in loose waves, which was the way he preferred it. She was looking up at him with big blue eyes and small, coy smile. "Hi." She whispered huskily.
Jess's mouth dropped open at the sound of her voice, as if his mind finally put the entire picture together. His mask of stoicism slipped off as he stared at his gorgeous girlfriend, sitting practically naked on black satin sheets. "Hey." He said, trying to remain calm.
Rory frowned slightly, her lower lip jutting out. "Are you just going to stand there?" She asked playfully.
Jess nodded slowly. "I think for at least a few more minutes." He said, his eyes still glued to Rory.
Rory's frown slid into a seductive smile. "Well, then." She said, sliding herself off the mattress. She carefully stood up and smoothed the front of her dress, which proved now to be completely inappropriate for anything but a seduction. She carefully nudged the candles aside with the toe of her sleek yet impractical shoe. She walked over to him and put her hands on his shoulders. Her high heels made them exactly the same height. "Hi." She whispered again.
Jess didn't respond verbally this time. He put his hands on the sides of Rory's face and brought his mouth to hers with a violent passion. Rory responded, leaning fully into Jess and wrapping her arms around his neck. Jess tangled his hands in her wavy hair, pulling her as close to him as she could. Rory used all the force in her small body to push Jess against the wall, never removing her mouth from his.
Finally, from lack of air more than anything else, Jess and Rory finally pulled apart.
"How did you get in here?" Jess asked, panting.
Rory smiled as she ran a hand along his chest. "Taylor owns this building. I told him I was decorating it for you. He said that I should get rid of all the drug paraphernalia just in case of a bust and he gave me a key."
Jess tightened his grip on her waist. "How wicked of you."
Rory shrugged, still looking at him with a completely sexual look in her eyes. "I'm an evil little girl." She whispered, laying one hand on his chest while the other worked its way up his shirt, stroking up and down the side of his torso. She leaned into him and trailed kisses on his neck.
Jess suppressed a moan. "Yes, you are." He murmured. Rory took his hands and led him over to the mattress. She sat down on the mattress and gently pulled Jess down with her. "You were right." She said, lying back. "You don't need a bed at all." She locked her hands behind Jess's neck and pulled him to her, meeting his mouth in a kiss.
Jess let himself fall to the mattress, pinning Rory to the mattress on either side with his arms. He trailed kisses from her mouth down her neck and shoulder. Rory brought her hands up to her shoulders and started to pull down the straps of her dress.
Jess's clouded, excited mind cleared at the sight of Rory's delicate hands working the straps of her dress. He stopped the trail of his mouth and sat up. "Rory, we need to talk."
Rory brought her hands away from her shoulders and looked at Jess in confusion. "I'm about to get naked and you want to talk?" She asked, shocked and disappointed. She sat up on the mattress.
"Not want to." Jess said, his longing gaze still on Rory's body. "Need to."
"OK." Rory said, not able to mask her disappointment.
"Look Rory, I…I need you to put something on." Jess said, standing up quickly. He crossed the room quickly to the closet, where he pulled out black T-shirt with a picture of The Clash written on it and the words 'Combat Rock' written underneath. He returned to Rory and tossed the shirt at her.
Rory sighed, feeling close to tears, and put the shirt on dutifully. "Did I do it wrong?" She asked.
Jess smirked and sat down next to Rory. He touched her face gently. "No, no. You did nothing wrong, Rory. You look amazing, and the apartment screams of romantic ambiance. I mean, it's perfect in a really cheesy, romantic movie that I'd mock mercilessly sort of way, and God I want you." There was so much more he wanted to say, but it was still lost behind how much he wanted to ravage his girlfriend.
Rory smiled, then looked down and toyed with the hem of Jess's shirt. She blinked tears back and asked, "It's because of Ava, right?"
Jess sighed. "Partly, yeah. I watched her die, Rory. I watched her die because she had sex. And I know that the world can't stop because Ava died." He took Rory's hand and kissed her knuckles. "You taught me that."
Rory smiled lovingly at Jess before asking, "Then what's the problem?"
"I don't want us to do something if we aren't prepared for the consequences." Jess said.
Rory smirked at that. "You watched your best friend die, and I'm the product of two teenagers celebrating that midterms were over. If anybody knows about consequences, it's the two of us."
Jess nodded unsurely. "So…you're ready to do this?"
"I've been on birth control for a long time." Rory said. She patted the side of her stomach. "I use that nifty patch thing, and you really can wear it in the shower."
"How long is a long time?" Jess asked, raising an eyebrow, jealousy coursing through his system.
"I got my prescription on…well, on the day you left, ironically." Rory said, suppressing the bitterness that she wanted to feel.
"You knew then that you wanted to do this, to be with me?" Jess asked, amazed and happy.
Rory smiled and said, "I thought that I knew when we made up after you got that black eye. Do you remember that?"
Jess nodded and laced his fingers with Rory's. "Yeah."
"But do you know when I absolutely knew?" Rory asked.
Jess smirked and said, "The moment you laid eyes on me?"
Rory laughed. "Not exactly. We were walking down the street to the diner and it started to rain. I wanted to hurry and get to the diner because we were getting soaked. You wouldn't let me walk any faster though. You wrapped an arm around me and said that it was kind of nice. Then you kissed me, and I knew I was in love with you and that I wanted to...be with you, and only you."
Jess smiled widely and wrapped an arm around her tightly. "Do you know when I knew?"
"Yup." Rory said with a smug smile.
"Oh you do?" Jess said. "Fill me in."
Rory looked up at Jess with a happy smile and wistful eyes. "That exact same moment."
Jess nodded and placed his forehead against Rory's. "Yeah." He whispered. "That exact same moment."
Rory leaned in to kiss Jess, but he pulled away again. "There's something else."
"What?" Rory asked, trying to think of what else could be holding him back. "Are you a virgin?"
Jess laughed loudly. "Umm, no." he said, still chuckling. Then, he stopped and thought for a moment. "Sort of."
Rory arched one eyebrow. "Sort of?" She mimicked. "How can you sort of be a virgin?"
Jess smiled down at her and said, "I've never had sex with someone I loved before."
Rory smiled brightly. "Oh, you're good. You can be quite charming when you want to be."
"It's a gift." Jess shrugged. "I do love you, and I do want to do this with you. But, we've got time. It doesn't have to be tonight." He kissed her gently on the cheek.
Rory turned to him and the passion returned to her eyes. "What if I want to do it tonight?" She demanded, sliding her hands into the waistband of his jeans.
Jess smirked. "Yeah?" He asked, bringing his mouth to her ear.
"Yeah." Rory responded, unbuttoning his jeans tentatively.
"Well," Jess murmured, "you do look damn sexy in my T-shirt. I can only imagine how you'll look out of it."
Rory peeled the shirt off and kissed Jess. "Less playful banter." She murmured between kisses. "More nonverbal communication."
Jess removed his shirt and slid the straps of Rory's dress down her shoulders. "Yes ma'am." He said, flattening himself against her.
Rory and Jess were still lying on his mattress, entangled to the point where neither was able to move. The candles had long since melted down and burned out, leaving only the rising sun to illuminate the room.
Rory had been asleep for hours and her rhythmic breathing was both a comfort and a terror to Jess, who was wide-awake. For hours now, he'd been staring at Rory while she dozed comfortably, curled up into him. They'd had sex three times before Rory finally fell asleep, and each time had been better than the previous one. Jess could feel his body begging for sleep, but his brain wouldn't allow it.
His first instinct was to bail. As soon as Rory drifted off to sleep, everything in him told him to detangle himself from her, run as fast as he could, and never come back. The fact that they were in his apartment meant nothing. His gut wanted him to run like Hell.
His heart wanted him to never move from this spot. This was love. If there had been any doubt in his mind that this was love, it had been completely erased. He was completely and fully in love with Rory Gilmore, and it was terrifying to him. He had never been so close to somebody before, and he didn't know what to do. If it was anybody else at any other point in his life, he would've ran. He would've let his fear of intimacy and fear of screwing up win and he would've destroyed it all. Not now though, and not with her. He didn't want to screw up. He was going to try to make this work. He was going to try to be a person that Rory deserved. Would he succeed? No, probably not. Jess knew one thing though. Right now, wrapped up with Rory on a mattress in his bare apartment, life was perfect.
Christmas Eve
"It's a beautiful tree." Rory said, sipping a hot cup of coffee.
"It sure is, kiddo." Lorelai said, draping an arm around her daughter's shoulders. They were standing in The Dragonfly, which hadn't even opened yet. They were doing a test run with all the people from the town, and had decided that the perfect day to bring everyone together was Christmas Eve. The idea of spending Christmas with all of their family and friends had excited Lorelai so much that no one could talk her out of it. The residents of Stars Hollow had loved the idea and the entire town had showed up to see The Dragonfly Inn and spend Christmas with them.
"It's a beautiful inn too." Rory said brightly, leaning her head on her mother's shoulder.
Lorelai beamed proudly. "Yeah, it is, isn't it?" She kissed the top of her daughter's head. "Merry Christmas, baby."
"Merry Christmas, mom." Rory said.
"I'm gonna go see how my mom and dad are settling in. Might as well get my mom's criticism out of the way as soon as possible." Lorelai said, her smile wavering just a little.
"There isn't anything that they could say, mom. It's perfect." Rory said insistently.
"Thanks, babe." Lorelai said, squeezing her daughter's shoulder before walking away. Rory stood in the same spot, looking at the beautiful pine tree. She, her mother, Jess, and Luke had decorated it a few days ago. That was a good day. Lorelai and Jess had gone the entire day without a single rude comment to each other. It'd been the closest they'd ever come to getting along. It had also been the day that Luke had finally asked Lorelai on a date.
Rory felt hands on her waist and she smiled. "Hi."
Jess turned her around to face him and kissed her lightly. "Hi."
Rory wrapped her arms around his neck. "It looks amazing, huh?"
Jess nodded. "If I was a little more sentimental, I might use the word magical."
"Good thing you aren't sentimental." Rory said, smiling. She kissed him lightly.
"I wanna give you your presents now." Jess said, leaning in and kissing Rory's neck.
"Dirty." Rory said, kissing him.
"You are your mother's daughter." Jess said, rolling his eyes.
"Well, who am I to argue?" Rory said, smiling. "I have presents for you too."
Jess took her hand and they walked over to the tree, where they both sat down cross-legged on the floor. There were people all around them, enjoying their Christmas Eve, but Rory and Jess didn't notice anybody but each other. They never did. They each picked up packages and handed them to the other one.
"You open one, and then I'll open one." Rory said firmly.
Jess nodded his agreement and selected a hefty, rectangular package that he knew was a book. He unwrapped it quickly and saw that it was, in fact, two books. The first The Complete Plays of Arthur Miller. Jess had been debating buying it for weeks, knowing that it was really too expensive for him to afford, especially with the pressure of getting Rory a gift on his shoulders. Jess next looked at the second book, which was a very thin, hardbound volume. Emblazoned in gold was the title The Ocean and New York: The Travels of a Rebel with a Cause. On the bottom, was the name Jess Mariano. Jess looked up at Rory quizzically.
Rory smiled at him. "I had your diary bound as a book."
"OK, for the last time, it is not a diary. But this is amazing." Jess said, looking down at the book again. He looked up at Rory and said, "You're amazing."
"Yeah," Rory said with a happy grin. "I know."
Jess could do nothing but smile at her as she took her first gift and delicately removed the newspaper he used to wrap it. Rory removed a long, velvet box and opened it to reveal a silver bracelet. It had tiny, almost nonexistent sapphires dotting it. "Jess." She breathed. "It's absolutely gorgeous."
"Turn it over." Jess commanded softly.
Rory did as she was commanded and saw that it was engraved. In delicate script were the words 'Is this not the true romantic feeling…'
"Not to desire to escape life, but to prevent life from escaping you." Rory finished the quote with tears in her eyes. "Thomas Wolfe."
"Thomas Wolfe." Jess affirmed. Rory smiled at Jess and leaned forward to kiss him. Their lips brushed together delicately and Rory whispered, "I love you."
"I love you too." They returned to their positions and Rory wiped at her eyes, afraid she was going to cry.
"Open your next present." Rory commanded.
Jess picked up the thin package and opened it. His breath caught in his throat and tears filled his eyes as he looked at it. It was the picture frame from his room in New York, and in it was the picture of him, Billy, and Ava.
"Rory." He gasped, looking up at her and blinking back his tears.
"You were right." Rory said quietly, looking up from where she was clasping the bracelet on her wrist. "She really was beautiful."
Jess was incapable of words for the first time in his life. There'd been many times where he refused to speak, but this was the first time where he was unable to speak. Instead, he just looked up at Rory with a baffled expression on his face.
Rory smiled at him. "Luke gave me your mother's address. She gave me the frame and told me where to find Billy. He's a nice guy. He said that he knew who I was by my eyes. Apparently, you waxed poetic about them."
Jess rolled his eyes. "I do not wax poetic. All I told him was that you had the most beautiful blue eyes I'd ever seen."
"For you, that's waxing poetic." Rory said, amusedly. "He was nice. We went and made a copy of the photo from his. He said that he hoped you found what you were looking for." Rory looked up at him hopefully. "Did you?"
Jess stroked the side of her face. "You know I did." He looked down at the photograph. "This is the most amazing thing that anybody's every done for me. You're the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me."
Rory grinned stupidly and said, "Says the boy who doesn't wax poetic."
Jess rolled his eyes. "Can we just have a nice, non-sarcastic moment?"
Rory shrugged. "Where's the fun in that?"
"God." Jess said, faux-exasperated. "When did we switch places?"
Rory just shrugged again.
Jess looked down again at the picture frame in his lap. "Thank you." He whispered.
"You're welcome." Rory said, happy to see Jess's eyes actually sparkle with happiness at the sight of the photo.
"Maybe you and I could take the bus to New York one day." Jess offered quietly. "Spend the day with Billy."
Rory's eyes widened. She knew how huge it was that he was trying to share his passion for bus riding with her. She nodded, trying to keep her happiness as subdued as possible. "I'd like that."
"One more." Jess said, handing Rory her other present with a smile.
Rory opened her gift and looked at it curiously. It was a framed piece of paper.
Dear Mr. Mariano,
Thank you for your interest in continuing your education. We've received your check and are writing to confirm that you have a seat guaranteed for you for our next session. Classes begin January 15th. Welcome to the program, and you will receive more information soon.
Dr. Bradley Mathews
She looked up at Jess, confused. Jess smirked and said. "It's my confirmation letter. I'm starting night school in January."
Rory's grin widened and she dove across the space on top of her boyfriend. She pinned him to the ground and kissed him passionately. Jess wrapped his arms around her waist as they kissed.
Rory lifted her head and said, "You really love me."
Jess shrugged. "You're OK."
Rory laughed and tickled Jess's sides gently. He laughed lightly and said, "You know I love you. I'd do anything for you."
"I'd do anything for you too." Rory replied huskily, that now-familiar look of desire filling her eyes.
Jess grinned at her. "Care to prove that?"
Rory hopped up and offered Jess her hands. He took them and the two stood for a moment, looking into each other's eyes. "If we go upstairs now, everyone's gonna know why." Jess said cautiously.
Rory grinned. "So let them know that we're in love. After all we've been through, we've earned it."
Hand-in-hand, Jess and Rory made their way upstairs.
The End
Things That Never Were:
-Rory was going to be the one who said I loved you but didn't mean it. Her brilliant idea was going to be that if Jess thought she loved him would save him, then she'd lie. Jess was going to leave when he found out.
-Luke and Jimmy were going to get into a fight that turned physical, leaving Jess so disgusted with the two of them thathe ran off without saying a word to anybody.
-Ava was actually originally going to die in a car accident while Jess was driving.
-Billy was supposed to play more of a role,being a lot more hostile and causing a lot more troublefor Jess and Rory.
-Dean was planned to make an appearance, involving several delicious verbal thrashings by Jess.
Alternate Version of Bend and Not Break:
Jess was actually mailing the letters to Rory as he wrote them, leaving her to find the bulk of them when she returned from Europe. She'd recieve only the last few as they arrived, and she excitedly prepares for Jess's return. However, Jess dies in a bus accident on the way back to her, leaving her heartbroken and destroyed, but also bitter that he disappointed her once again. (Bet you're as glad as I am that's not the way I went!)