Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha! Really, I don't!
Summary: Inu-Yasha and Kagome's thoughts as she is about to shoot him against the God Tree in the movie "Affections Reaching Across Time"
Part One: Kagome
I can't feel my body, the spell Menomaru has put me under is too strong for me to break. I can see, hear, feel everything with absolute clarity, but I'm powerless to stop myself. I watch as my hands raise before me, a bow and arrow magically forming from a discarded branch, I watch as my hands aim it at Inu-Yasha. They aren't even shaking.
I wan't to scream, to yell, to kill the demon who did this to us, who brought this nightmare upon us. But all that comes out is a strangled plea. "Please...get away from me, Inu-Yasha." It is barely a whisper, but he hears it, and looks up from where he is half leaning and half crouching against the God Tree.
He look straight at me, his amber gaze seeming to pierce straight through my soul and heart, and he knows I'm not in control.
I see the hurt look on his face, and realize that if this is a nightmare for me, it is hell to him. Here I am, in the exact
same spot, wearing the exact same clothes as Kikyo did fifty years ago, about to do the exact same thing.
But I stare into his eyes, and I see no hurt, no betrayal, but hope, friendship, and determination. If I could, I would have broken down crying. But I can't. I know he isn't seeing me standing here, he is seeing Kikyo. And in that moment, I want to die. I want to vanish from the face of the Earth, and I curse myself for doing this to him...for not being strong enough to resist the spell that controls me. I hate myself for doing this to him.
He slowly rises, an inch at a time, until he is leaning against the tree. His jaw is set, and his stubborness apparent in his defiant posture. Proud to the last...I choke at the thought. He knows I can't control my body, knows that I will be made to fire the arrow. And he isn't running away. He stands there, opposing me with every last ounce of strength he has.
Refusing to give up.
Refusing to run away.
I beg him once more to run, but he stares at me, before speaking softly. "Not this time. I won't leave you behind, Kagome.
I'm not leaving without you." And he stands, defiant and proud. I cannot avert my eyes as my hands release the arrow,
watching it unflinchingly as it traverses the distance in a heartbeat.
He doesn't shout in pain, doesn't make a sound, when it hits him. He falls back against the tree and his eyes slowly close.
I scream in rage, frustration, fear, grief. I scream at the injustice of it all. Anger and hatred blast through my soul,
a red-hot firestorm of emotion. And for the first time in my life I truly hate someone.
I feel the mental barriers keeping me locked up in my own mind weaken and shatter, and the moment I regain control I rush over to his prone body. What have I done...
I lift his head into my lap, hoping against hope that he is still alive, crying out his name. I don't know if I can go on without him. In an instant, my memories of our time together flash through my head. His cocky, arrogant grin as he defeats a demon, the sad look he always has when thinking about Kikyo, the contemplation in his eyes as he lays among the stars at night when he thinks no one is watching.
And I realize I can't let it end like this.