Coming to America! Episode One

Konoha Uprising! Scrolls of the American Dream!

Everyone was psyched in the tiny ninja dimension. The five great powers of the ninja world, led by the Hokage, had announced that it was time for the great new Chunin of the ninja world to take part in a transfer program of sorts.

Ninja from all over the ninja world came to Konoha for the news of the transfer program.

Naturally, the first question was, "Where are we getting transferred?"

Well, the Hokage had an answer to that, too. It was written on individual slips of paper. But the answer that the Chunin got was a bit of a shock…

"America," Uzumaki Naruto read again. His head began to throb as he thought the hardest he had ever thought in his life. "America…"

The other two members of Naruto's ninja cell, Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke, watched pathetically as Naruto attempted to decipher this strange code.

Naruto turned to Sakura, the smartest person in their cell, if not Konoha itself. "What's America, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura looked at her own slip. It read the same thing as Naruto's: Assemble in front of the ninja academy tomorrow at eight o'clock in the morning. You will need to bring basically everything you own. You are going to America. Unfortunately, she had only a faint idea of what America might be… and tomorrow had turned into today.

Although the ninja realm was watched by many people across what was typically called 'Earth', the ninja had only two ways of knowing what happened on 'Earth': either the Hokage relayed information (and the last time this happened was after terrorist uprisings were becoming more commonplace), or you died. When you died, you could see whatever you wanted.

Sakura knew the rudimentary knowledge: America was a country on Earth, and their people are probably the most tolerant of violence in that world.

"It's a country on Earth," Sakura explained, her short pink hair bobbing with her fluid movements. She pointed her index finger up and shook her head. "That's about all I know about America, though. Sorry."

Sasuke looked out the window. …America, eh?

I wonder how many training fields there are.

The room in the Ninja Academy was bustling with people frantically trying to learn what they could about America. Quite a few people asked Sakura, knowing how smart she was, but even more were interrogating Nara Shikamaru. Of course, interrogating someone is not what you should do in the face of the infamous Gaara of the Sand, who was leaning against the wall near Shikamaru. When Inuzuka Kiba was unleashing a particularly aggressive verbal attack, Gaara subconsciously encased Shikamaru in a sand shell.

No one messed with Shikamaru or Gaara after that.

Yamanaka Ino watched the clock ferociously, her makeup-lidded eyes frozen on the instrument. There was fifteen seconds left until eight o' clock. Her teammate, Akimichi Choji, was eating a bag of potato chips and watching the clock as well. Hyuuga Hinata was trying to avoid Hyuuga Neji's gaze as she hid behind a pillar. Aburame Shino was standing in the middle of the room, waiting for the bugs he planted on the tiles to tell him when the 'proctors' were coming. Rock Lee was getting all fired up (as always), and Tenten was conversing to her one-time rival, Temari of the Sand, Gaara's sister. Kankuro of the Sand was watching the three Otonin ninja out of the corner of his eye, making sure that Zaku, Kin, and Dosu didn't do anything that might warrant the presence of Orochimaru, the snake demon ninja.

The bugs on the tile leaped back into Shino's body in a second flat. Shino looked down at the ground, his glasses boring a hole in the floor.

"They're here."

The room filled with plumes of light blue smoke as multiple ninja appeared in the room. First it was Hinata, Kiba, and Shino's teacher, Kurenai. After, Rock Lee, Neji, and Tenten's sensei, Gai, and the jonin that watched over Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru, Asuma. Next were the proctor for the second part of the Chunin Exam, Mitarashi, and the proctor for the first part of the aforementioned exam, Morino. After that was the teacher at the Ninja Academy, and Naruto's idol, Iruka. The Hokage himself was last, but Sakura noticed that something was… missing. More like someone.

"Where's Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked after the smoke had cleared.

Iruka's head fell onto his chest, and Gai smirked, revealing his spectacularly clean teeth.

"I win this round, Kakashi-san…"

Sakura watched Iruka and frowned. No doubt he'd show up in a half-hour, telling a strange story of how a childhood friend from the Ninja Academy stopped him on the street.

The Fourth Hokage cleared his throat, and silence, once again, presided over the multitude of ninja present. Gaara pushed a cork into the tiny hole on the top of the giant gourd he carried on his back, his eyes lowered demonically.

"All right. I know that you all have been very worried about America," the Hokage began.

If only you knew, Shikamaru thought vehemently, shooting a withering glance at Kiba.

"Well, to make the transition easier, you will all be given host families. You will live with them, and the eldest of the family will protect your identity as a ninja. You see, in America, people go out of their way to kill assassins and snipers – their version of ninja. So don't tell a soul that you're a ninja!"

Sasuke remained emotionless. He wished that Itachi could be sent to America at the moment.

"There are three regions of America that you will be sent to," the Hokage explained, taking a great number of scrolls from the different proctors.

As Sakura predicted, as the Fourth Hokage took the scrolls from the jonin, Kakashi appeared in the midst of the room. An uneasy silence followed.

"I came across an old friend of mine, one I haven't seen since Ninja Academy…" Kakashi began before Naruto interrupted him.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI YOU BAKA!" Naruto cried playfully. He obviously didn't care so much. Sakura was slightly irritated. Sasuke was imagining Itachi being blown to bits by a bounty hunter.

Kakashi sweat-dropped before handing a handful of scrolls to the Hokage. The Hokage nodded his head, concealing his face of disbelief under the shadow of his giant hat.

"Alright… there is a scroll for each of you, explaining where you need to go and your aliases… where you go to school… all of the information you'll need for the year you'll be spending in America," the Hokage explained. "You will be leaving an hour after you get your scroll." He picked up a small pink scroll. "Haruno Sakura."

Sakura took her scroll from the Revered Hokage very uneasily. She yanked it open.

She was going to a state known as California. She read her scroll carefully as more scrolls were distributed. Sakura's new alias was Sakura Valance, soon to be Sakura Waterford, first name before last, and she was to live with the respected lawyer Terri Waterford and her daughter Jackie. She was to be an eighth grader at Jackson Price Middle School in Sacramento, and her house was just down the street. Since Sakura was very good at chakra control, but had no specific skills, she didn't need to perform technique-restraining spells on herself, the scroll said. Sakura didn't care that the scroll basically said she had no skills – she accepted and even appreciated it. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she had to deal with Gaara's sand control, or if she had to carry the Byakugan like Neji or Hinata.

Sakura saw that she was given a cell phone, a computer, and had been placed in AP Geometry by her host family. Sakura smiled at the scroll. Obviously her host family seemed to care about her enough to welcome her in.

Sakura looked up from her scroll for a brief second to find that everyone else around her was pretty much freaking out.

From the scattered yelling around her, Naruto lived in New York City, New York, along with Tenten, Dosu, Shikamaru, and Kankuro. Hinata, Rock Lee, and Shino were also coming to Sacramento – and going to the same school, no less – while Ino, Choji, Zaku, Kiba, and Kin were all headed to rural Kansas. Gaara, Sasuke, Temari, and Neji hadn't yet gotten their scrolls.

"Gaara of the Sand," the Hokage called. Gaara walked forward and took the navy blue scroll. He flipped it open and scanned the top – where your state was mentioned.

"Sacramento," Sakura heard Gaara mumble. Gaara continued to scan his scroll, his eyes occasionally straining as if deceived. After Temari and Neji received their scrolls, Gaara closed his up and stuck it on a small pocket on the strap that held the gourd to his back. Sakura discovered that Neji was going to New York with Naruto and that Temari was going to Kansas just by listening to conversation. Sakura then realized that there were now six people going to both Kansas and New York, but only five going to California. She grinned.

Gonna make Sasuke mine!

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA: 9:15 PM, SATURDAY MORNING

Haruno Sakura fell to the ground in front of a swanky house in Sacramento. Glass covered the top floor of the immaculate white building, while a futuristic blue door lied underneath a balcony, shaded from the world. A quaint set of cement steps lead up to the door, and emerald grass lined both sides of the steps.

Sakura pulled herself off of the ground. She was wearing something nice enough: a black fishnet underneath her usual red dress, but instead of wearing her black spandex shorts underneath, she wore white linen capris. On her feet was a pair of black slip-on sneakers, given to her by Kakashi, who said that ninja sandals were not acceptable in America. They would raise questions.

Sakura dusted herself off as she began to walk up the steps. There were seven of them, all neatly arranged and shaped.

Remember, Sakura thought. You are now Sakura Valance, the transfer student from Asia, Russia specifically. I lived in the capital, Moscow, and was the brightest student in class. I speak fluent English, and I am the daughter of a Russian seaman and a Japanese translator.

Sakura trudged up the last step, finding herself in front of the blue door. Sakura gulped nervously, wishing that she had the protection of her kunai knives or her shuriken. But, deep inside, Sakura knew she'd never need those things. Not with a host family as gracious as hers.

"Welcome in!" a girl with strawberry blonde hair with multicolored highlights smiled. Rock Lee held his duffel bag filled with stuff in front of his body, his bobbed hair moving slightly as he smiled widely.

The girl opened her eyes, and for a sudden instant, Lee could have sworn that the girl was blushing, as if stricken with love at first sight. But just as suddenly as he noticed it, his host's daughter was all good again.

"You must be Lee, then!" the girl grinned. Her eyes were a pretty blue, Rock Lee noticed. Pretty, like Sakura's eyes. "I'm Koku, by the way. Koku Reeves. My parents are waiting for you in the kitchen…"

Koku noticed Lee's huge bag. "I'll take that!"

Rock Lee's eyes widened. "No… A lady shouldn't have to take a man's bag."

"You're a guest," Koku frowned, pouting and placing her hand on her hip. Her pink tank top slithered along her body suggestively, and her black slacks fit loosely around her legs, bunching around her bare feet. Her toenails were painted a lavender color, contrasting her neon orange fingernails. "I have to take the bag."

"But it wouldn't be…"

Koku rolled her eyes. "I appreciate your chivalry, Lee… but you are the guest!"

Rock Lee sighed. Koku was determined, as determined as Naruto. Lee nodded finally, handing the bag over to Koku. The teenaged girl took the bag and walked around a corner before stopping and backtracking a step or two.

"You can come in," Koku said. "I'll show you your room, and then take you on a short tour. Sound good, Lee-san?"

Lee's face lit up. Lee… san? Koku knew some Japanese, obviously, and her knowledge of the suffixes made Lee feel slightly at ease.

"Sure, Koku-san," Lee nodded. Koku's face now lit up. Lee thought that this was because the two of them already had a common bond – Japanese. The real reason was that Koku was overjoyed at being respectfully identified by her (in Koku's opinion, super hot) guest.

Koku lugged the suitcase up the stairs, much to Lee's concern.

"Are you sure you have it?" Lee asked on more than one occasion. Koku nodded as she continued. Finally, the suitcase was up the stairs and in front of three different bedrooms. One room, the right room, had its door closed, but the door was decorated with pictures of the latest movie stars and makeup ads and pretty models in skimpy dresses. The left room's door was open, and the room was a shade of calming sky blue, decorated with tiny painted clouds floating around the walls. On the floor were piles of books, comics, DVDs, and many sheets of paper. Lee assumed that to be Koku's room. The middle room was open, and painted a forest green – Lee's favorite color. The room had a bed, but looked undecorated. Lee tried to see farther inside of this room, wondering who on earth could live so barrenly.

"We didn't know how to decorate your room," Koku began, "so we figured we'd leave it to you."

Lee looked at Koku with admiration. In five seconds, Lee had dumped his duffel into his room and began to unpack things.

Koku smirked. "You're energetic." Koku looked on as Lee placed a small kabuki doll on a dresser in the right corner of the room, next to a CD player provided by the family. Lee froze as he looked at the wide device. Lee popped the lid. Inside was a white CD, with 'NEW MIX' written on it in a red permanent marker. Lee closed the lid, and looked at the array of buttons. He found what he was looking for – play – and pressed it. An old pop standard ('Hit Me Baby One More Time') started to filter out through the CD player's speakers.

Lee cocked his head. Koku smirked.

"I didn't know what songs you liked, so I put a bunch of stuff on there," Koku explained. "Next song is the Star Wars Theme, and after that is Days Go By from Keith Urban…"

Lee stared at the CD player. He had found a new friend in Koku.

"Sorry, I would take you on a tour of the house… but you've seen most of it," the older man explained to Hinata. The man had brown hair, thick and formed into a buzz cut. He was at least thirty, and wore a button-down shirt, jeans, and some running shoes on his feet. Hinata already liked her host, James Morrow, and his wife, Sammie, who was in the small kitchen, cooking a small meal for Hinata's arrival.

"That's all right, Mr. Morrow," Hinata said politely. She smiled from underneath her baseball cap that she had gotten from Kiba before she left. James blinked before kneeling down to Hinata's level.

"Okay, Hina," James responded. Hinata smiled still – her new name was Hina Morrow, she remembered. "One thing… don't call me Mr. Morrow. You're my daughter now, so you can call me James, or Dad, or whatever… just not Mr. Morrow. Got it?"

Hinata nodded. Life here was already different from her home life in Konoha.

James took her into the kitchen, where a woman of about thirty was tossing a salad. Her red hair fell to her shoulders, and her green eyes watched the salad carefully, so that no lettuce leaked out of its Tupperware casing. When James and Hinata walked into the small, 60's-sitcom-esque room, Sammie looked over and put down the salad.

"Hey, Hina!" Sammie smiled brightly. "You got here okay, I see?"

"Yes, I got here fine," Hinata responded cheerfully.

James leaned against one of the cabinets. "Hina, you know that you're going to go to school here too, right?"

"Yes," Hinata answered. "Jackson Prince Middle School, right?"

Sammie nodded. "The perfect place to go to school. It's got lockers, and great teachers, and friendly students…"

Hinata could feel the warmth that her new parents felt for her, and was glad that someone knew her worth. She wasn't just the holder of the bloodline anymore. She was a person.

Sakura pushed another forkful of Mexican lasagna into her mouth. She was beyond full, but the food was so good that she had to keep going.

A dishwater blonde sitting next to Sakura was obviously full as well, but kept eating. Her hair fell on the side of her face, and her hair was as short as Sakura's. In all actuality, the girl's hair resembled Sakura's in an eerie way. The girl wore a loose, 'Flashdance'-esque blue sweater over a white tee shirt and black tap pants. Her smile was bright and her napkin was covered with stains.

"Sakura," the girl asked as she stabbed her fork into a small mound of rice, "you're going to Jackson Price, right?"

"Of course, Jackie," Sakura answered. Sakura's green eyes were even similar to Jackie's: both emotional but not too wide, an emerald shade.

An older woman with flowing brown hair at the end of the table had long ago put down her fork, but she stayed at the table anyway. Her eyes were forest green, and her charcoal pantsuit was as elegant as pantsuits came. On her feet was a pair of brown loafers.

The older woman looked at Sakura and Jackie, who were just a few inches away. "I've heard that you're an excellent student from your teacher… I believe his name was Hatake Kakashi, right?"

Sakura nodded. "Kakashi-sensei is very nice to me and my classmates, Mrs. Waterford. But he's never on time… very belated."

Jackie stifled a giggle with a forkful of rice. Sakura looked over to her.

Jackie was very nice, and so was Mrs. Waterford, but Sakura couldn't help but wonder why there was no male figure present. Sakura was too polite to ask, but her Inner Sakura was screaming questions at her.

"What happened to Jackie's father?" Inner Sakura yelled at Sakura. "Ask them where he is! Nothing wrong with a simple question! You're so unassertive, Sakura! You should take after me!"

Sakura didn't listen to Inner Sakura. She had only listened to Inner Sakura once in her life, and that was when she rejected Rock Lee.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK: 9:24 AM, SATURDAY MORNING

Dosu shoved the appliance that usually adorned his arm into a bag. Since Kankuro, Naruto, and he all lived with the same host family, he met the two of them in front of the large duplex that sat square across from a strip mall. The duplex was painted beige (a color that Kankuro noted looked like the color of some of the jonin's jackets) with a brown door. Small, square windows peppered the wall like gunfire on a metal plate, and lining the walls were small cosmos, roses, and dandelions. It looked well kept up, and Dosu was glad. If he had learned anything from Konoha – and Naruto in particular – if a house looked shabby, chances were the inside was even worse.

Kankuro had the nerve to walk up to the door first. He had parted with Crow and gave it to the Hokage (albeit grudgingly), and now wore a white tee shirt and brown cargo pants. Naruto was wearing a white tank top and his usual orange pants; Dosu was wearing a red sweater and baggy jeans. There was, needless to say, no wallet chain or even a trace of metal on any of the three boys.

Kankuro knocked on the door. A small pause accompanied the shuffling of Dosu and Naruto's feet. The pause lasted three, then four seconds.

The brown door opened. A tan man of about twenty-two opened the door. He had small round glasses over his hazel eyes, and he wore a blue shirt and black pants. On his right forearm was a small tattoo of a spiral design, and his hair was almost all shaved off.

Dosu looked at the man. He must be Samuel Rinker.

The man smiled. "Hey! You're probably the transfer students, right?"

"Sure are!" Naruto yelled happily. Kankuro remained expressionless, but he wished he had the same optimism Naruto had. Dosu nodded in agreement.

"Well, then, come in! My sister's in the bathroom, but you'll meet her too," the man offered. "I'm Samuel Rinker, and my sister's name is Kinsey. We want you to feel right at home here… we've got enough rooms for you guys, don't worry!"

Naruto stepped warily into the house before realizing that there would be no traps waiting for him. This was America, not Konoha.

Dosu and Kankuro followed Naruto at a brisk pace as Samuel gave the guys a tour of the huge duplex. He pointed down a long hallway.

"The second room on the right is Naruto's," Samuel explained. "The third on the left is mine, the third on the right is a bathroom, fourth on the right is Dosu's, fourth on the left is Kinsey's, and at the end of the hall is Kankuro's."

The three boys nodded. Second right, Naruto. Fourth right, Dosu. End of hall, Kankuro. Samuel led the boys away from the hall and to the TV room (which had a good sized TV and a library of movies), the living room (a quaint room with cream carpeting), and finally the kitchen (the biggest room in the house).

Kankuro, Naruto, and Dosu looked at each other. They were overjoyed, but all of them wore the expression that screamed, "If I get lost, you'll help me, right?"

RURAL KANSAS: 9:40, SATURDAY MORNING

"I'm hungry."

Choji heard his stomach grumble pitifully. Ino stared out into the vast expanse of uninhibited blue sky as Kin looked at the emerald grass below her blue Speedo sandals. Zaku was testing the air with short blasts from the air holes in his hand. Even though Shino had ripped his air tubes apart in the Chunin Selection exams, he could still deliver very short blasts of air from his hands. Temari gripped the handle of a small fan, fanning herself off. It was eighty degrees, normally nice weather, but Temari was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt and tan slacks. She was burning up.

Kiba and his dog, Akamaru, were observing what lied around them. There was no shortage of open sky or jade grass - that was certain.

"We shouldn't have trusted Kakashi's sense of direction," Temari noted as she continued to wave the fan up and down. Zaku, sensing how Temari was sweaty and turning slightly red, blasted some cool air towards her. It was a short blast, but the Sand Ninja looked better already.

"Thank you," Temari said.

Zaku smirked. "It's all these air holes are good for now."

Kin said nothing. She knew that there was a ring of truth to Zaku's words, but she couldn't bring herself to accept the awful truth – Zaku would stay a chunin forever if he didn't fully regain his skills.

"Where are we?" Ino asked.

"Kansas," Kiba responded tartly.

"I meant where in Kansas, you dick," Ino snapped. "It seems like we're in the middle of nowhere."

Kin reached into a pocket on her long black skirt. She pulled out five bells attached to small sticks.

Temari's eyes widened. "We can't use our skills, Kin!"

"I know we can't, but this isn't a ninja skill," Kin responded as she held the five sticks in her fist. "It's more of a human skill. Do you know how blind people know that there's a wall near them?"

Ino nodded suddenly. "Oh yeah! They listen to see if the sound bounces off of something!"

"Precisely," Kin nodded. "But since I'm not entirely human, this little bell ringing skill is a very useful tracking tool."

Kin now held the sticks between her fingers. In a swift movement, she threw all five in the air in different directions. The bells rang resoundingly.

Kin noticed a bell pointing to the south had bounced off of something three miles in, but the westerly bell was reacting to something five miles away.

The bells clattered to the ground. Kin looked to her south, then to her west.

"There's something to the south – three miles out," Kin told the others. "But there's also something five miles west."

Kiba paused before sniffing the air. "We should go south first… it's closer, and if we're wrong, we just retrace our steps."
"A good idea," Zaku nodded.

Choji moaned as he sat on his duffel bag. "Food…"

Ino snapped. "Don't you have ANY food in there!"

Choji blinked. "Why of course!"

"Then why don't you eat it…?" Kin growled as she retrieved her bells off the ground.

Choji began to unzip his duffel bag.

KONOHAGAKURE: 9:45 AM

Gai and Kakashi stared into the Hokage's glass ball. Inside it they saw scenes of their underlings adjusting to life in America.

"Poor Lee," Kakashi murmured. Gai came to attention.

"What on earth do you mean, Kakashi?" Gai asked.

Kakashi didn't need to use his Sharingan to see it. "Koku already has it in for him – and Lee doesn't see that she's infatuated."

"They've been together for ten minutes," Gai muttered in disbelief.

"What about Lee and Sakura?" Kakashi noted. "Didn't Lee only know her for five seconds before asking her on a date?"

Gai sunk his head. "I guess… what about the others?"
"Sasuke seems to have adjusted," Kakashi said. "I was worried about him… living with a band front man and his kid brother seemed slightly off… Sakura and Hinata are fine; of course… we knew they'd be good… Naruto, Kankuro, and Dosu seem to be getting along well… Neji is a bit cold towards his family, but they're psychologists… they think it's displacement anxiety, thank God… Shikamaru is okay… Tenten looks as if she's doing all right… her family is a bit eccentric, but she'll pull through, like always… the Kansas people are trying to track down the farm they're headed to… Kin is an excellent navigator, I must say… Shino is good… Rock Lee, good…"

"What about Gaara?"

Kakashi stood still.

"I'm not sure I want to find out…"

End Episode One

A/N: Konichiwa! Sorry about the delay in stories, but my computer got attacked by spyware, and I lost ALL of my stories. Until I get those back up to speed, I'll be putting some work into this one. If you want to see another character in the mix, or if you want a weird pairing… review! I'll try my best! I promise to try and make it work!

Ren: Don't go all Rock Lee on us.

Satine: But Rock Lee is cool!

Ren: …

Satine: Anyway! Reviews please, and I hope that I didn't take an idea from anyone. Just so you know, I am NOTHING like Jackie or Mrs. Waterford or Samuel. I am more like Koku, if anything. And I also added a new characteristic to Kin: she's a superb navigator. Kin never struck me as a ninja with explicit skills (like Sakura) except for her keen sense of sound and nasty demeanor, so I gave her the ability to use her sense of sound to navigate.

Wow, that was a long author's note…

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or any aforementioned products.

Preview of Episode Two

School is beginning – the second semester of Jackson Price Middle School's year, to be exact! Sakura, Sasuke, Rock Lee, and Shino are in the same Geometry class, and since Lee has it in for Sakura, you can bet that there'll be a jealous Koku, who is also an Honors student! And… what's this? Does Gaara have a stalker? Or is the cute little Asian girl Lin just in need of a friend?

In New York City, Naruto, Kankuro, and Dosu meet up with Tenten at a tough new school where a rough gang of kids called the Scalpels want to break in the new students. Of course, Shikamaru can outwit the gang, and Neji is so cold that anyone in their right mind would leave him alone… but what can a ninja do in a fight without ninja skills?

Back in Kansas, Kin's method of tracking is going well… until the group encounters the ghost of a vengeful hitchhiker! As everything plays into a surreal supernatural exorcism for Temari, Ino wrestles with the thought of using Art of the Valentine to free Temari!

Next time – Episode Two: Come Monday Morning! A New Challenge for the Ninja!

Naruto: I have a big role in this one!

Sakura: No! I do!

Kiba: SHADDAP!

Lee: Ganbare! Ganbare! Come on, cheer for the ninja!

Shikamaru: How troublesome…