-1Bwa ha ha ha! You thought I'd forgotten this fan fiction type thing, didn't you! C'mon, you know you did! Now don't give me that look. Honestly, I don't upload for only a couple (hundred) months, and this is what I get! Well maybe I just won't give you a new chapter? Got ya! (Can you tell I had two Pop-tarts earlier?)

Mr. Incredible was standing outside the courtroom, impatiently tapping his fingers on his crossed arms, his lawyer and his NSA Agent, Rick Dicker, standing nearby. Down the hall was the lawyer to represent the owner of the Sanchez building. After over a year and a half of court appearances, first to be sued by that suicidal Sansweet-maniac, then by those L-train "victims," and now by the owner of some building he'd destroyed while helping Frozone fight Baron Von Ruthless a few months ago, Mr. Incredible was just plain sick of court rooms and court cases.

"Any chance we'll win this one, George?" he asked his lawyer.

The fellow opened a can of diet Coke. "Nope."

"I figured that's how it'd be," Incredible said, noting the look Rick, who was drinking a Pepsi, was giving George. He himself had a Dr. Pepper.

"How long d'you think we'll last?" George asked Rick.

"Two hours tops."

"No, I mean the supers. The NSA. The whole shenanigan. You know that once they're done tearing the three of us apart, they're going to go after all the other supers, too."

"This Pepsi should be a bourbon, if that's the case."

"Hey," Mr. Incredible said, raising his can of caffeinated acid, "a toast."

"To the glory days," Rick said.

"And a helluva painful couple hours," added George.

Meanwhile, a young super better known as Elastigirl was out doing hero work for a couple hours while her five-month-old daughter took a nap. If Bob ever caught her doing this, there would be words. But heck, she was an independent spirit; it wasn't like Bob could expect her to actually go for that "house-mom" gig.

"Get lost, lady!" the robber said to her as she stepped between him and the door out of the store he was robbing, and he pulled out a gun.

Pow! Bam, whoosh, "OW!" slam, clang, bang, wham!

Mr. Mugger was out cold, bagels and all.

"That would be 'girl,'" Elastigirl said, grabbing the unconscious man by the shirt collar.

"Hey!" the store owner said.

"What?"

"You broke my window!"

She looked behind her. Sure enough, the window was gone.

"Um… I think it's just really clean."

"You owe me new window! That's a hundred bucks!"

This was met by Helen's 'are you kidding me?' face.

"You gonna pay up? I said it's -"

Elastigirl threw one of the bagels at his face.

"DOW!"

The superhero then proceeded to walk out of the shop, through the broken window, leaving the half-dead mugger on the ground for the owner to mop up. She then elasti-jumped onto the roof of the building, and continued to jump from building to building until she was at Bob's and her apartment, where she walked through the small balcony's sliding door and into their main room. She'd be glad when they finally moved out.

"Violet!" she called. "Mommy's home!"

Back to Bob…

"Answer the question!"

"I really don't-"

"Do you want to be thrown to the lions, Mr. Incredible?"

"Simon, we can't do that anymore," the judge said to the lawyer.

"It seems like an obvious choice. If you-"

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION, MR. INCREDIBLE! TELL US THE TRUTH!"

"I don't think you can handle the truth right now, Mr. Hedson," Mr. Incredible muttered.

"What was that?"

"You can't handle the truth!"

"Getting smart, huh!"

"Listen, you-!"

"ENOUGH WITH THE SHOUTING IN MY COURTROOM! JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION ALREADY!"

"YES, I'M THE ONE WHO TORE OFF A PIECE OF THE STUPID BUILDING!"

George, back at his and Mr. Incredible's table, shook his head. What I wouldn't give for an aspirin, he thought.

Helen walked into the bedroom, where a crib stood in the corner. She smiled and walked over to the crib, preparing to pick up her daughter. Except for a minor problem. Upon looking in the crib, Helen realized there was no baby to be seen in that crib. What she did not realize was why there was no baby to be seen.

"Violet?"

This was the part where Helen lost it.

"Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! Violet! VIOLET!" As Elastigirl shouted her daughter's name, she doubled her efforts by springing around the apartment in a frenzy of jell-o-like bouncing from the ceiling to the floor. And of course, the fact that her daughter wasn't really old enough yet to understand responding to her name failed to cross Helen's mind. Adrenaline can have disastrous effects on the young and springy.

"OHMYGOD!" she cried, a tangled mass of indistinct limbs and other body parts on the kitchen floor. "OHMYGAWDWHATAMIGONNADO! V-VIOLET GONE! MISTERBOBGONNA KILLME! MYDAUGHTER! WHOOSH!"

Something else Helen failed to pick up on was that her shrieking had actually awakened young Violet, who yawned widely, crawled out from under her blanket (wearing her pajamas), and started up on what had been her project for the last few weeks: breaking the lock on her crib prison.

Helen sprang up again. "What'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do! She's gone! Gotta… gotta what?…." She thought a moment. Then she realized the obvious choice. "Breath! Breathe breathe breathe! Eeeee huuuuh eeeee huuuuuh. Okay. Okay. Olay. Okay. Eeeeee huuuuuh. She couldn't have gotten out on her own. Maybe the neighbors noticed someone come in." Helen grabbed the spare outfit she kept by the door and threw it on, running out the door and slamming it shut just as Violet, in a moment of pure brilliance and exuberance, made the lock on her crib go "click."

The crawling kiddo was free…

Helen ran to each and every door of the ten-story apartment building, knocking loudly and begging for any information about her missing daughter, meeting some rather odd fellows on the way. The list included a party of mimes, what appeared to be a samurai, and a party of fellows which appeared to have just walked out of the old Frankenstein movie. Or maybe King Kong. It was hard to tell. This action took place over the next several hours.

During that time, Mr. Incredible's court case thing was recessed until the next day, and George, Rick, and Incredible got a cab to a downtown diner for a quick drink and a slice of pizza each. However, seeing as it wasn't often that you saw a superhero eating a pizza and drinking beer, and because Bob hadn't bothered to bring a set of cover-up clothes, the experience was not as relaxing as the group had originally thought it would be.

"Can we get some more pepperoni over here, please?" Bob called to the waiter. "What're you looking at?" he asked a gawking couple nearby.

"You know, Incredible," Rick said, "you could be a bit more friendly."

"Let's see you be friendly when it's you their staring at."

"Hey," George said drunkenly (the lawyer couldn't hold his alcohol nearly as well as the other two), pouring the remains of his diet Coke into his beer bottle. "Cheers to us!"

"George, I think we better call you a cab."

"I would not appreciate being called names, good sir."

"Ah, leave him be, I'll get him home," Rick said. "But let's look at it this way," he said to Bob. "Now we'll all be able to do that whole 'simple life' thing, right?"

"Sure… hey! Another pepperoni, please!"

"Where did that guy go?"

"Hey look! Elastigirl!" George said, waving at a window he could make out in the back, through which he could see the super girl questioning the waiter and cook, looking very deranged.

"That's nice, George," Mr. Incredible said. "Oh forget it. Here," he said, handing Rick money for his beer and pizza. "See you two tomorrow."

"If George's hangover isn't too bad."

Bob walked outside and sighed. Maybe Rick was right. Maybe he should just accept this simple life thing he'd actually fantasized in the past.

"DO YOU HAVE MY DAUGHTER!" Helen screamed at the cook and waiter frantically, not realizing during her entire excursion that she'd forgotten to take off her mask. When all she got was odd looks and hesitantly shaken heads, she elasti-shot herself on top of another building's rooftop. She was going to go home and call Bob on that clever little gadget they'd made for the supers a year ago on her way. What was it called? A bell phone? Oh, it didn't matter.

However, while the parents were out, Violet had been thoroughly enjoying herself. For starters, she'd managed to get the fridge/freezer open and had somehow managed to devour a whole pint of ice cream. She then found crayons and markers and drew over all the walls in the apartment within two feet of the floor. Next came trashing the living room. Invisible Violet broke the coffee table and TV, stabbed various pieces of furniture with a pair of scissors before leaving them in the wall, and threw a rattle through the sliding door.

But then she sneezed. Poosh! Suddenly, a purplish, semi-transparent half-orb surround her and her building blocks. She started throwing the blocks at the strange wall, and giggled happily when they bounced back and hit her invisible self.

"Hello?" Bob answered his cell phone as he walked into the apartment building.

"BOB! IT'S ME!"

"Helen?"

"No, your mother. OF COURSE IT'S HELEN! VIOLET'S GONE!"

"What!"

"I came back, and gone! Not there! Away from crib, not in building gone!"

"She wasn't in her crib! Well where'd you put her! Wait, came back from where?"

"One, I put her in her crib, wise guy, and two, that's not the point of the conversation right now!"

"Well where are you now?"

"Almost there! She couldn't have gotten out of the apartment on her own without help! Maybe she got the Durbans to let her out, you know how they'll do anything for a little girl!"

"Uh, Helen?"

"Unless, (gasp!) UNLESS SHE MANAGED TO GET THE BALCONY DOOR OPEN AND FELL SIX FLOORS! AAAAA, MY BABY!" And she hung up.

Bob looked at his phone, slightly befuggled, but started to jog up to their apartment anyways. As he was searching for his key (trying to be discreet about walking around the building with his supersuit on), Helen was sitting on the sidewalk in front of the building, crying over a plum some teenagers had thrown from three floors up about a week ago.

Bob walked into the apartment and was horrified at the disaster zone. No wonder his wife had lost it! The place was a wreck! Then he heard a strange thumping sort of noise, accompanied by his daughter's giggles.

"Violet!" he called, walking into the main room, where he stared at the onesies, surrounded by a… a… purplish thingmerbob, throwing Violet's blocks at the thingamajig. He circled the strange apparition until his back was to the broken glass door. "Violet?"

Vi looked up at her father. "Uh oo."

She suddenly sneezed. Big time. The forcefield shot out with such force and speed that Mr. Incredible was sent through the glass door, flying outside, and screaming as he fell and hit the street below, distracting Elastigirl from her mourning of the fruit.

Bob groaned as he stood up. "Whoa."

"Where'd you come from?"

"I found our daughter," he said only loud enough for them to hear, seeing as passersby had also noticed the two supers and their strange behaviors.

Bob took out his slightly crunched cell phone and dialed. "Hey Rick? How busy are you?"

I love it! Sorry it's kinda short!

TIMEX EGG TIMERS! GET 'EM WHILE THEIR HOT! You want yours fried or scrambled?

Review…?