After the Veil
By Neurotica
Lines
Lupin sat beside Tonks on her black leather sofa in her small flat enjoying a cold glass of wine. Tonks had insisted he get out of Headquarters for an evening that wasn't filled with Order business. Lupin knew better to argue with an Auror, so he subjected himself to a surprisingly wonderfully cooked dinner of chicken and rice cooked by the witch. She'd attempted to help Molly with dinner a few times, and there were always a few accidents involved.
The evening had been filled with casual small talk that included stories on Lupin's part from his Hogwarts days with the Marauders. Tonks, in turn, told him stories of how she and her friends enjoyed annoying a certain young Potions master. Apparently, one of Tonks' first full transformations as a Metamorphmagus was an impression of Severus Snape. She even showed Lupin the transformation on his insistence. He couldn't remember laughing so hard in years.
By eleven o'clock, both Tonks and Lupin were feeling a bit tipsy, but neither seemed to want to say goodnight just yet. After refilling their glasses again, Lupin sat back into the sofa and looked beside him to Tonks. He immediately wondered how they'd come to sit so close to one another, but he made no move to further the distance between them.
"Can I read your palm, Remus?" Tonks asked quietly with an odd glint in her eyes.
"Sorry?" Lupin asked with a raised eyebrow.
Tonks rolled her eyes and pulled the wine glass out of Lupin's hand, setting it on the coffee table, with hers beside it. She gently took Lupin's right hand in her own and turned it over. His breathing hitched slightly as she moved her fingers lightly over his palm.
"Why do you want to read my palm, Tonks?" he managed to ask in a very annoyingly hoarse voice.
She shrugged. "You can tell a lot about a person by their palm. Didn't you ever take Divination class?"
"Only in third year," Lupin said. "Our professor kept informing me that I would be attacked by a rabid animal. James and Sirius found it utterly hilarious, of course, but I got a bit sick of it."
Tonks chuckled softly, still keeping up the ministrations over his palm with her fingers. "Okay, so I can see here that you have a long life line, that's good to know."
Lupin smiled as she traced the lines with her fingernail.
"You've always been quiet, reserved, and very intelligent, but we already knew that," she continued. "You never had many possessions growing up, but what you did have, you treasured. Your family meant everything to you and they still do. You value the happiness and well-being of your friends much more than your own.
"It takes a lot to gain your trust. When someone finally does gain your trust, you work hard to maintain it, no matter what it might take.
"You're loyal and dedicated, but more often than not people don't see beyond what they think they know about you. You learned young to hide your emotions from the outside world. You think that if you do that it will keep you from getting hurt later on. You don't let yourself fall in love easily—that's good. Your heart's been broken once before and you're reluctant to let that happen again.
"You're afraid. Not necessarily of physically harming a woman, though I do see that aspect of fear. No, you're more afraid of not being able to give a woman what you think she wants—a family, a large house, things like that. All you have to offer is yourself, and you don't think that's good enough for a woman. So instead of living the life you deserve, you hide yourself behind your work and books.
"You've lived through many dark times, more than most, and you sometimes let that history dictate how you live. You seem to think it's an insult to the memories of those you've lost to move on and forget them. You know that those we've lost never really leave us, but you still prefer to hide behind your experiences, no matter how horrific they may have been.
"All in all, Remus, you're a wonderful person with a lot to offer, and you need to open yourself up for a change. Don't be afraid to let people who want to know and love you into your heart. Like I said, you've got a lot to offer, whether you believe it or not. So stop fighting with yourself and live the life you deserve," Tonks finished quietly, staring determinedly into Lupin's eyes.
It took several minutes for him to find his voice again. "You found all that in my palm?" he breathed.
Tonks smiled. "Not all of it, no," she admitted. "Sirius and I had a late night discussion one night when you were out on duty."
"I see," Lupin said, his lips twitching. He looked down at their intertwined hands and realized almost instantly that Tonks knew more about him than most of his friends did. Perhaps she was right, and he did need to open his heart.
He looked up and noticed Tonks biting her lip, a habit he'd noticed she used when she became nervous about something. Using his other hand, Lupin reached up and moved a lock of her black hair away from her eyes. Without realizing, he began to lean in closer. He could feel his heart beating somewhere in his throat. Her breathing was coming quickly in short bursts.
Lupin closed his eyes and let their lips connect. He immediately felt a surge of electricity he hadn't felt in years. Tonks moaned softly as Lupin pulled his hand from hers to reach up and cradle her face. She deepened the kiss, her tongue teasing his lips, begging for entry, which he instantly granted.
After a few minutes, the need for air became too important to ignore any longer. Reluctantly, Lupin pulled away slightly, his eyes still closed, but a small smile on his lips. He felt Tonks rest her forehead on his and finally opened his eyes.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?" she teased quietly.
Lupin chuckled. "I don't know. I think I may need to test that once more, just to check."
Needless to say, Lupin didn't return to Number Twelve that night. He'd finally found what was missing from his life. He wasn't sure if it was love or not, but for right now, he was enjoying the feelings he did have. No matter which way the war would go, at least he had somewhere to turn when things got rough, and Remus Lupin wasn't going to give that feeling up anytime soon.
End