I was reading the lyrics to a song called THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER by My Chemical Romance. I had wanted to do a story with Kurama being suicidal for a change but I didn't know how to write it well as I read this something just snapped and I started seeing how I wanted to write it and this is what came out of me…

Death Tears

Chapter 1 the only cut

Kurama lay in his bed one night desperately trying to sleep but it didn't come. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the death of all those he killed.

He had ignored it for a while thinking it was just passing thoughts but it didn't go away not in the least.

It always increased more gore and more screams from men, women, as well as children all begging for there lives but got nothings.

The worst part was that he knew these were all memories of when he was the thief Yoko.

Giving up on sleeping he got out of bed and went over to his bathroom trying to be as quiet as possible as to not wake his mother.

He turned on the light and for a moment was blinded by the bright rays of light. When his vision became clearer he just looked upon himself.

Red hair, green eyes, nothing really special and yet everybody seemed to be hanging all over him.

As he thought about it those dreadful screams came in his ears again more piercing then ever.

He shut his eyes and winced hard from how load they came to him. Accidentally he knocked over a glass and it shattered upon impact with the tiled floor.

He opened his eyes once again and looked upon the damage he had done. His mother was a light sleeper she was bound to have heard that.

'I can never do anything right.' He thought just as a knock came at his door.

"Suiichi are you ok what happened?" (Sorry if I spelled that wrong.) His mother's soft voice asked from behind the bedroom door.

He scrambled up and over to the door. "Yes mother everything is fine I just dropped a glass I'm sorry for waking you; please go back to bed." He said opening the door.

"Having trouble sleeping dear?" She asked worriedly she knew he had been having trouble sleeping for days it was just a mother's instinct to know those things.

"No mother I am fine."

She smiled before answering. "I'm glad good night dear." She said going down the hall.

"Good night." He closed the door and silently hit his head on it.

'Why do I constantly lie to her? Again and again I do it first for who I truly am and now this plus to many more times to count I can't do anything right.'

He thought going back into the bathroom to clean the glass up. But as he knelt there he picked up one piece of glass with a rather sharp edge on it.

Looking into it he saw his reflection slightly from how the light hit the glass; that's when he got an idea.

'I've always lied to her sure she will be upset but then she won't have to live with my lies.' He put the glass to his wrist and closed his eyes.

'I've heard Hiei talk about it enough he says it doesn't hurt but then again he has been threw enough pained times to numb the pain completely.'

Kurama's P.O.V

What my fate will hold is a mystery to me. I was always told that I always have a fate and it always follows threw. But also I could change it if I wanted to.

If I wanted to by those words I was given the choice to choose life or death. Life with my constant wrongness and pained memories of the innocent I've killed.

Or death where I don't have any idea what will be bestowed upon me.

I was given the choice and being so close to either one I had crossed the line what would be done must be done even if in the future I would regret it terribly.

One cut one simple draw of my hand and I watched the blood fly in slow motion away form me.

Blood flowed freely from me I had done it I couldn't believe it. My world became darkness with the all to familiar smell of freshly spilled blood.

A/N: THIS IS NOT A ONE-SHOT! THERE WILL BE MORE! Please R&R