Angel Chapter 2: Angel, a final fantasy vii fanfic

Hi. Here's the real first chapter, and the last chapter. I hope you like it. It's kinda sad at the end, but please don't cry, and feel free to flame me if you like. Well, here it is. Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or anything associated with it, and I do not own the song Angel by Sarah McLachlan. Please do not sue me.

Angel
By GundamWingFanatic90
5-15-05

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay

I watched from a corner of the room as she bustled about her bar, the Seventh Heaven, cleaning up after her most recent work day. Her figure was perfect in the flickering light from the fireplace, and I found that I had to look away. I'd already had my chance with her, and I blew it. I'd pushed her and everyone else away, afraid that they would get hurt if I let them get close to me. What I hadn't known was that I was doing just the opposite, and to the one person I never wanted to cry over me. I'd blown my chance out the window, and yet she still offered me a place to stay. God, how I loved her for everything. Everything she was, everything she did. I loved her more than life itself.

"Cloud?" I heard her ask. I turned my MAKO-infused gaze to stare away from her, caught like a child with his hand in the cookie jar. I shouldn't have been staring.

"Cloud, what's wrong?" she asked again. Her face appeared in front of me, concern etched into her features. I shook my head.

"Nothing, Tifa. I'm fine." I said quietly. Damn, my voice was getting hoarse already just from her standing near me. She frowned.

"Cloud, something's wrong, I can tell." she said, hurt evident in her eyes. Damnit, Tifa, take a few steps back before I lose myself! I thought.

"Teef, I'm fine." Great. Now I'm starting to sound annoyed. Way to go, Cloud. That's a good way to make her feel unwanted. I don't want to hurt her, I don't want to get too close to her. But I don't want her to go away, either. She smiled at me, but I could tell she was sad.

"I'm sorry, Teef. I didn't mean to snap at you like that." I heard myself say before I could hold back. She laid a hand on my cheek.

"I know, Cloud. I know."

There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

"Tifa..." I said, bringing my hand up to cup her cheek affectionately. Our faces were only inches apart, but I suddenly realized what was happening, and pulled away. Her expression was of hurt, and I longed for the feel of her hand on my face as soon as I moved, taking my hand off of her cherubic features.

"We can't, Teef..." I murmured sadly. Her brows knitted in hurt, and she looked away. I could tell that she was attempting to hide tears.

"Why not, Cloud!" she choked out. "Why are we not allowed to love each other!" I blinked owlishly a couple of times. She... loved me? Even after all I'd put her through?

"...How could you love me?" I asked after a second, and she turned to stare at me, horrified and hurt. I looked down and to my right side as I continued, "How could you love me, when all I've ever done is cause you pain? First, I make you think I like Aeris, when she's only like a big sister to me, and then I abandon you and the rest of the group for two years after Meteor. How could you still love me, after all that I've done wrong?" I looked up into her beautiful wine-colored eyes, feeling dead on the inside as I let my own MAKO-infused sapphire irises completely unfocus. "Tifa, you don't need someone like me. You deserve better. You deserve someone who won't break your heart at every turn." I turned away from her again when I glimpsed tears in her beautiful eyes, unable to bear seeing her cry. "You deserve someone who won't hurt you." I'm sorry, Tifa. But I can't hurt you again. That's all that'll happen to you if you try to get close to me.

"Cloud..." she whispered. Her voice was all choked up. Please, Tifa, please, please don't cry for me!

"Cloud, how could you say something like that!" she hissed, and forced me to look at her by turning my face with her fingers. "Do you know how damn hard it is every damn day when you won't even meet my eyes! I love you, damnit! I can't help myself anymore! I love you so much it hurts every time you push me away! Please, don't distance yourself anymore!" I glared up at her, a fierce fire born of desperation burning in my eyes.

"I have to, Teef!" I shouted, rising to my feet. "If I don't distance myself from everyone, you'll all get hurt! Don't you get it! I'm pushing you away because I love you!" Oh my God... I just told her that, didn't I? She blinked at me owlishly as I glared down at her, tears welling in my eyes, though I did not shed them, and I did not let her see my shock at my boldness.

"Can't you see, Tifa?" I asked, my voice gentler as my glare melted. "Everyone that has ever gotten close to me has either gotten hurt or killed. The closer you get, the more danger you're in. I can't let any of you get hurt any more because you've gotten close to me." She shook her head at me.

"Cloud, I've already gotten close to you." she said softly, placing her hand on my cheek as tears ran down her porcelain cheeks. "I can take care of myself. I can deal with pain. I can deal with danger. But I can't deal with it without you by my side. No matter what, I can't stop getting close to you. I love you. Can't you just accept that?" I shook my head as tears slid out of my eyes and down my face.

"No, Tifa. I can't, and won't, accept you getting hurt because of me." I'm sorry, Tifa. I don't want you to get hurt, even if it's because you love me. She put her other hand on my other cheek and pulled me down to her.

"Don't you get it, Cloud!" she exclaimed, her face inches from mine. "You don't have a choice in the matter!" She pulled me down the rest of the way, her lips crashing against mine, and she slid her arms down to rest around my neck. All thoughts of resisting fled from my mind, and I couldn't help but pull her against me, all of the passion I had hidden for so long begging to escape my body. My mind went blank, and I was lost in the moment. I felt like I was soaring above the clouds, all coherent thoughts escaping me, all memories of everything I had ever done wrong seeping out through my bloodstream to be replaced with a burning, adrenaline desire. We collapsed onto the couch, our fierce kissing spurring us on, and all feelings that we might have hidden from each other for all of the years we had known each other were no longer concealed, as the darkness and firelight engulfed us in its revealing, and yet, cloaking embrace.

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

We tossed and turned, our limbs entangled just like our souls. She was my angel, and I was flying away from reality in her embrace, heading to heaven even before I died. My dismal thoughts that had taken over me earlier had vanished, leaving behind only a feeling of comfort and completeness as we danced the sacred dance of love.

When it was over, I gazed at her, sleeping against my side, and a sense of God-given peace settled over my tired body.

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack

I woke in the middle of the night, not remembering falling asleep, and I instantly turned to gaze at my angel, Tifa Lockheart. I hadn't even realized, through all of the years of longing after her, that she could give me such peace. I had finally gotten so tired of walking on the straight line that would undoubtedly lead to my own destruction, that I had taken her. No, she had taken me. To heaven, hell, everywhere in between, and back. And I could give anything to have that feeling again. The feeling that I could actually stay with her. But I couldn't, not when I was being pursued by Hojo and his flunkies. Tifa had known about that- I had told her about it several months ago- so why had she allowed me to take her? My thoughts drifting back to that evil menace, I gingerly slipped out of her arms, attempting not to wake her, and began to gather up my clothes. I pulled my boxers on, and then my pants, but as I was strapping my belt on, I felt her hand on my shoulder. I felt weak just at that minute touch, and my knees nearly gave out when she spun me to face her and I saw her standing there.

"Cloud, where are you going?" she asked accusingly. I closed my eyes, attempting to think straight as my hormones and emotions raged inside me.

"I'm sorry, Tifa. I can't stay." I said. Better let her think I'm going somewhere other than running away from Hojo. Let her think I'm just going to catch a chocobo and head to Cosmo Canyon or something.

"Why not!" she exclaimed. Great, I had hurt her again.

"I have to go to Cosmo Canyon." I said, turning my head so that I didn't have to meet her gaze. "I... got a call from Red. He needs some help with something." I felt her eyes on me for some time. Damn, Tifa, how do you do this to me! How can I do this to you!

It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

"Cloud, if you want to leave me that badly, at least look me in the eye while you lie." she said. I clenched my eyes shut tight.

"Damnit, Teef!" I exclaimed heatedly, and opened my eyes before whipping my head around to stare into her beautiful eyes. "Hojo's on my tail! Ever since he got resurrected, he's been after me!" Tears welled in my eyes. Don't you know that everything I do is for you, Tifa! I kissed her in a passion, pulling her to me and crushing her already-bruised lips to mine. After a second, I pulled away.

"I don't want to leave. I never have." I whispered to her. "But I have to. I can't let you get experimented on by that bastard. He'd probably get you pregnant somehow, and then put MAKO and JENOVA cells into the baby, like he did with Sephiroth. Please, Teef. I don't want you to have to go through the hell that Lucrecia suffered. I don't want you to go through the hell... that I have suffered." I kissed her again, gently this time, before pulling back to gaze into her eyes, my hands cradling her face, my forehead leaning against hers. "I only want you to be happy. I only want you to know... how much I love you. You've always held the key to my heart, Tifa Lockheart. I don't ever want that to change." I pressed my lips to hers again, and she melted against me, her knees giving out as she pressed her body to mine. Her chest was warm against mine, and I felt her heart beating in time with my own, fluttering as the adrenaline raced through our veins. Slowly, as the passion consumed us again, we made our way down onto the couch, and succumbed to each other.

Tifa... I want nothing more than to stay here with you for all of eternity... but I can't. Hojo has caught up to me at last- I can feel him in my mind. He will bring me to hell tomorrow, so please... let me go to heaven one last time.

Now, as I think of my love and the last night we shared together, I can escape from the hell that is my life. Hojo is cackling something outside of the MAKO tank, and the fuzzy blankness that consumes my mind brings me some slight comfort, knowing that soon it will all be over. Soon, it will be too late, even to say goodbye. I hear crashing and the sounds of someone shouting, the sounds of gunfire and a battle. My mind can't comprehend it all, the haze of death beginning to consume me. There is the sound of someone, or something, hitting the tank, and through the liquid MAKO energy I can make out the shape of a giant, hitting the side of the tank. Hojo cackles something again, and there is a loud curse from the giant. I can only assume that it is Barret, even as my crimson lifeline seeps out of the long-open incision in my chest, where Hojo has performed his twisted experiments. I know that I am too far gone to be saved. There is the sound of a gunshot, and I watch as a red blaze consumes the fresh corpse of Hojo on the floor, and a second later, there is a whooshing, sucking sound, and the MAKO is draining from the tank. Through the intense sickness that I am submerged in, I vaguely feel myself crumpling slowly as the glowing green liquid exits the chamber, and my body reflexively vomits the remaining fluid from my stomach, hacking it out of my lungs in violent coughs. I know it is a vain attempt for my survival. I am already slipping away. I can't even move any of my fingers anymore. Soft, gentle hands pull me from my clear prison, and out onto the floor of the lab. My head is placed onto something soft, and my dimming vision takes in the sight of one whom I thought I'd never see again. My angel has come to rescue me. A faint smile upturns the corners of my mouth.

"Tifa..." I breathe. "Is it really you?" She nods, tears swimming in her eyes. She picks up my hand and holds it to her cheek. More faces appear around us: Barret, Yuffie, Cid, Red XIII, Cait Sith, and Vincent, and my small, happy smile broadens even as my sight narrows and my breathing shortens.

"Cloud!" I hear Tifa exclaim. She looks scared. I wonder why? Oh yeah. I'm dying. A flash of pain shoots through my chest, causing me to gasp and close my eyes. I hear someone mutter something, and the pain fades a little. I open my eyes and smile slightly. I want to show you, Tifa, that I love you, even as I'm fading from this world.

"I'm sorry... Teef..." I say, choking on my words. My voice is strangled, wavering, breathy, fleeing me as soon as I grasp it. I guess I really am scared. Not to die, but to hurt her again. To hurt them all again.

"Cloud, stay with me!" she whispers desperately. "Come on! I haven't even fulfilled my promise to you yet! I haven't saved your life and returned the favor, yet! You can't die before I do that, can you!" I laugh softly, even as blackness closes in around me. Don't you see, Tifa?

"You already have." I struggle for breath. The MAKO is killing me. Too much MAKO, too much pain, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, don't cry Tifa, I love you, please no tears, I have to go, I have to live, I have to die, I have to come back, Aeris is calling me, she's telling me to stay with you, it's all so confusing, it's all so clear... My thoughts are whirling in my mind, and I can't hear Tifa calling out to me through the rushing in my ears. I can't feel the tingling as they attempt to heal me, my soul is already departing, the light is already dimming from my eyes. My last thoughts arrive to haunt me.

Don't you see, Tifa? You've already saved me so many times. I hope that you find someone else, who won't hurt you like this. I hope your life is full and happy. I hope you can move on after I am gone. I love you, my angel. My Tifa.

My life flashes in front of my eyes, I can't breathe, my body hurts, my head is spinning, I can't hear, can't see, can't feel, can't taste, can't smell, can't think. I can only remember my last night. The night that I was in the arms of an angel, before I was given over to the claws of a demon.

I love you, Tifa. This is my last thought as my soul flees my body. Suddenly I can see all of you, so clearly. You are holding my lifeless corpse as tears escape from your eyes in torrents. I am so sorry for hurting you like this. I walk over to you and kneel in front of you, stroke your face, and kiss your lips. You don't feel any of it. I pull away from you, and turn my back to you and the rest of the group. A white light has opened in front of me. Aeris is standing there, Sephiroth with his arm around her. He is good now. Zack is standing next to Aeris, a broad grin on his face. They are all waving at me, smiling, beckoning for me to come with them to the Promised Land, that place which is rumored to be heaven. But I cannot smile. I cannot bring myself to feel anything except for a heart-wrenching sorrow and loneliness, an emptiness that has consumed my soul. Their heaven will be hell to me. Anywhere will be hell to me, because you are not there. I love you, Tifa Lockheart. I always will.

END.

Wow. 7 pages on Microsoft Word. I have to put this on my website once I get it up and running… And another wow. I never thought I could write so poetically. And this thing was written on a whim… O.O And Woot for my first completed fic! - O.O Arrgh! I can't believe I did that to Cloud! Gomen nasai, Cloud-sama! And the same to you, Tifa-chan! Gomen! But thanks to all you authors out there who inspired me to write this, including Tifa's Diary, XeroKitty, Jessica Holmes, Yunie Tidus, akksgurl, Shade Strife, Bahamuts AngelVII, General Cloud, Maggie, Moira, avalon-chan, purpleflame81, the pen of Cloud, Refugee, and Rhianna. And another big thank you to Jedi Bubbles and inukagome2gether just for being great friends and helping me along the way, even though neither of you really like Final Fantasy VII that much. -' Well, feel free to flame me if you want, and if you want me to write a sequel, I've got a few good songs that I could use. But please review! Tell me how I'm doing! Thanks!

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