In the Dark of the Night

Starr

Set between ANH and ESB. This thing will eventually have a sequel, but there's no way it'll be here before May.

The hallway in front of me is shadowed in gloom and I know with a dreadful certainty that he is in there waiting for me, hiding like a rat. And doesn't it make sense, when a rat is hiding, to wait for him to come to me? Of course it does. Please, I don't want to go in there. Nothing good will come of it.

With a horrible cry, Luke Skywalker flew into a sitting position, the dream that had been again tormenting him gone. He was shaking, his body covered in a damp sweat that left his sheets completely unusable. His nightmares had woken him before, always frightening him with their startling clarity, but he'd never woken up screaming before. Embarrassed, and still scared by how real the dream had felt this time, he rolled out of bed, praying he hadn't woken Wedge.

No such luck. The Corellian landed on the floor beside him, his eyes open wide and alert, his blaster drawn. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Luke said quickly. "Nothing." Hoping to change the subject, he gestured at Wedge's blaster and spoke with forced light tone. "You sleep with that thing?"

"Only when I'm rooming with you. Sharing quarters with the most wanted person in the galaxy is hazardous to my health."

"Not as hazardous as being the most wanted person in the galaxy."

"Right," Wedge said as he reached up to tuck his blaster back under his pillow. "So, you ok?"

"Yeah, sure," Luke replied nonchalantly, sitting back on his bunk, trying to find a spot that wasn't quite so cold.

"You wake up screaming a lot? Cause if you do, I'm rooming with Dev."

"No…no, this is the first time."

"And nothing's wrong," Wedge said, his voice clearly stating that he didn't believe it.

"Nothing." Luke looked away from Wedge's gaze. "Really!"

Wedge shrugged. "Fine. If you do it again, I'm telling sickbay."

"What?"

"Luke, a lot of pilots have nightmares. A lot of us can't sleep. And we tell medical and they give us sleeping pills, and we stop having dreams and the rebellion gets well-rested pilots. Everyone wins."

"I don't need drugs, Wedge," Luke said pointedly.

"Then get some sleep." The pilot softened a little at Luke's still shivering body. "Look, Luke, I don't mean to be harsh. Really, it's just…you're not safe if you're not as well rested as possible. I know we don't always adhere to it, but it's important that you sleep when you can. And if you can't sleep by yourself, you get help. It's not weak or anything. Half the squad takes them."

"Do you take them?"

"I used to."

Luke nodded. "I think…I think I just need to take a walk. Why don't you go back to bed."

"Think about what I said, Luke. And if you want to talk about it, wake me up."

"Sure."

Luke wandered around the base for almost an hour. He didn't want to talk about it. And he didn't want to take drugs, no matter what Wedge said about sleeping. Something about the thought of relinquishing control of his body bothered him. He passed Leia's door a few times, but didn't stop. He couldn't tell her this. She wouldn't understand. If only his father was…no need to think about that. He didn't want to remember any of the dream.

If Wedge knew how often this same dream was waking him up, he'd really have cause to be worried. The fact that he'd reacted so severely thinking that this was Luke's first waking nightmare scared Luke enough as it was. He eventually ended up in the hangar and stood for a few moments with his head leaning against the cool metal of his fighter. He was so tired. Sleep, though, seemed like something foreign to him, something terrifying. He looked over at the Falcon, sitting there with its ramp open. Whenever the ramp was down, Han or Chewie was awake. If he couldn't sleep, maybe one of them could keep him entertained, keep him from falling asleep inadvertently.

"Hey," he called softly as he entered the ship. "Anyone awake in here?"

"Yeah, come on in, kid," he heard Han reply.

Luke found Han on the floor in the lounge, tinkering with a model skyhopper. "Playing with toys, Han?" he asked with a grin.

"Do your toys do this?" Han asked back, as he flipped some switches and sent the hopper flying around the lounge.

Luke whistled softly. "No, I don't think so. At least, the one I made on Tatooine never did."

"Neither did this, when I bought it. Anything to keep me busy, though." He turned as Luke sank down on the couch. "What are you doing up now anyway?"

"I might ask you the same thing," Luke countered.

"Hey, I'm not enlisted, remember? I make my own hours."

"Right," Luke said with a smile.

"You, on the other hand, you got…what, four hours until you're back on duty? I've never known you to be a night person, junior."

"Normally I'm not," Luke replied as he slid down on the couch to lie on his back. Sleep was slipping into the edges of his consciousness, tempting him with promises of rest, but he resisted. Sleep could only bring more fear and pain.

"Look at you," Han laughed. "You look like you're dying."

"I feel like it," Luke groaned.

"Wanna talk about it?" Han asked, sensing something more below Luke's easy-going façade.

Luke rolled onto his side. "I don't know. Do you ever have nightmares?"

"Sure."

"I don't normally. I remember a couple when I was a kid—bad ones, but only a few."

"What sort?"

"Can't remember. Stuff about…death, mostly. Destruction and evil. Stuff no kid should ever dream about. I just remember being scared."

"And that's keeping you up?"

Luke took a deep breath. He'd never actually thought about the dreams he was currently having. He'd put them out of his head and tried to go about his life. But…if he could figure things out by talking, maybe it would help. "I've started having them again."

"Of course you are, kid. You're risking your life for some hopeless cause and a colder than ice princess. It's enough to give me nightmares for you."

"Not about the war, Han. About…about my father."

"Your father?"

"Yeah. And Vader. I'm having bad dreams about Vader and my father," he finished in a rush, trusting Han to provide him with a witty comeback that would fix anything. The smuggler remained silent, however, prompting Luke to continue. "I first saw him on the Death Star when he…with Ben," Luke amended. "I didn't know it was him, though. I could have—I mean, I know he was far away and everything, but if I'd known it was him, I could have shot him then and been done with it."

"But you didn't."

"I didn't know. When I found out…I don't know. And now, these dreams. I feel…like a confrontation is inevitable."

"A confrontation with Vader?"

"These dreams, Han! They're real." Luke tried to collect himself before he continued. "The first time, I saw him fighting my father. I saw him kill my father. And it…it was horrible, but it was a normal dream. I woke up scared and angry, but it was like watching a holovid. It was a dream. The next time, though…I was fighting him. Vader. And…it was much realer. It was real. I was there. And when he won, I felt it. And it hurt. It burned, Han, and I was scared and I woke up in pain."

"Fighting Vader's serious business, kid. You're just overworked and overwhelmed."

"That's what I told myself! And I kept having them and they were keeping me up, but I was able to get past the fear and pain because they were all the same. Tonight, though…he started talking to me, Han." Luke's voice broke off as his body reacted violently to the memories. His breathing quickened to an uncomfortable rate, as did his heart, and his stomach muscles spasmed. He couldn't find the words to describe his terror. Drawing his knees up to his chest, he continued in a low voice. "I could…feel his voice. It was so deep, it made my bones rattle. It was…mentally oppressive and physically exhausting. Painful."

"You're under too much stress, kid."

"That's not all," Luke said quickly, before Han could continue. "He was telling me…all sorts of things, about power and the amount of power I could have someday. Me. But…I rejected it. Him and his power and his offer."

"Offer?"

"He wanted me to join him and overthrow Palpatine. I said no, of course, because I hated him."

"Hated? As in past tense?"

"That's the thing," Luke whispered. "He told me…" He turned his face up to his friend. "It was just a dream, right? It wasn't real. It's not real."

"That's what I've been saying, but you seem to think otherwise."

"He told me he was my father." Luke said softly.

Han was quiet for a moment, apparently shocked. "It was just a dream, Luke," he said gently. "You don't have to get yourself bent out of shape over it."

Luke sat up suddenly. "But how can I hate him if he's my father? I couldn't do it!"

"Luke, it was just a dream! He's not your father."

"But it was so real. I mean, the idea of it is ridiculous. The idea that Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader are the same person…it just doesn't make sense. But…still, I woke up terrified. Not of him, or of anything he could do to me, but of the truth."
"But it's not true."

"I know! But it felt true, you know?"

"Sure, kid," said Han in a way that implied that he didn't know. Luke sighed and stood up slowly. "Hey, I'm not through with you yet. Sit back down." Luke did so without protest. "Now, you want to know what I think?"

"Not really." He had when he'd come in, but now that it was all out in the open, he just wanted to go walk until he was too exhausted to dream.

"Too bad. It's my ship. You gotta listen. You've gotta face this, junior. You can't just wake up and lay there in the dark listening to yourself breath. It's not healthy. Talking about this is good. I wouldn't spread it around the base or anything, but I'd be open about it."

"But what do you think it means?"

"I don't know. Couple of things. You said that Vader was your father's friend before all hell apparently broke loose, but he obviously had to be close to your father at one point. He knew him, and I guess that intrigues you. I can see you wanting to talk to him. And maybe…I don't know. I guess it's the ultimate betrayal, really."

"What is?"

"Stealing someone's son."

Luke nodded. "But it was just a dream. That's all."

"Whatever you say, kid. Feeling any better?"

"Yeah."

Han flicked a control with his finger and the hovering skyhopper flew low over the holoboard, then buzzed Luke's hair. The youth ducked out of the way and grinned. "You want to take a spin with it?" Han asked.

"No. I'm going to try and get some sleep. I've got…" he checked his chrono. "Almost four standard hours before I've got to be up."

"That's the best thing, kid. Remember, I'm always in here."

"Thanks, Han." He pulled his boots back on and left.

Back in his room, Luke stared numbly at his bunk. Wedge's contented snores sparked a bit of envy in him. 'I never thought I'd be jealous of anyone's sleeping habits,' Luke thought with a wry grin. He'd had periods of insomnia that coincided with the few nightmares he'd actually had in his life, but normally he slept long and he slept hard. Normally. What he wouldn't give for normal right now.

Life on a farm was exhausting enough, but it was easy to do the mind numbing chores with minimal sleep. Piloting, on the other hand… He put not only his life at risk, but the lives of everyone in the Alliance. He sighed. It was amazing what a consistent lack of sleep would do to one's principles on drug use. Luke checked his chrono. If he hurried, he could be back from sickbay and still manage to get three hours of sleep.