A/N: Ok, so any of the fics I've been able to find dealing with Anakin in the Jedi afterlife, when I can actually find those, have either bypassed any conversation he had with Obi-Wan or just left me not satisfied with the casual conversation coverage I have found (granted I haven't found every story).
Now I'm not blaming authors here, I think I'm looking for something specific that you all don't feel like putting in your stories, so I should just write what I want to satisfy myself and get myself (in my thoughts at least) out of your hair and leave you alone to write what you want. and hopefully after I write it you'll get some enjoyment from reading my little endeavor as well. See it works out good for everybody )
Ok, now another slight little disclaimer before I let you actually get to my story. In this story where I'm using the scene after Luke spots Obi-Wan, Yoda and Anakin on the bridge on Endor, and I'm using Lucas' change of putting in the prequel Anakin (No! Don't stop reading and abandon me now! Let me explain!) Still there, Whew...Ok, so the reason I'm doing this is, I just want to play with the situation, pure and simple. Just for the fun of it.
In terms of my personal views on what Lucas did in the DVD, I just accept and don't focus on it to much. There are things (obviously!) that don't make any sense whatsoever about the change, like Anakin being the same age as his son when he appears to him! but there are concepts in seeing Anakin as he was before and even up to when he fell now redeemed that give a sense of satisfaction, even if logic was defied in doing it. So that's why the change leaves me with both a "I like" and "Huh!" feeling.
Oh and by the way, this story may go through updates after I see Episode III
Sorry for the long Author Note, now on to the story
Reunions
As Leia smiled, pulling Luke back to the attention of the celebration on Endor and away from where he had been observing the three Jedi spirit forms, one of these spectors, Anakin Skywalker, who stood watching in the form of his early twenties, let out a sigh which communicated a whole array of the emotions he felt, stemming from contentment to his regret of the havoc he had wrought on not only the universe but the two forms who were now walking further away back to the celebration, his children.
From where they stood next to Anakin, Obi-Wan and Yoda glanced over at him. Yoda looked this newly redeemed Jedi up and down as a look of both intrigue and wary concern over this Jedi's mental state or what not formed on his face. "Interesting...ah, the form you have chosen to reveal yourself in is, Jedi Skywalker" the diminutive master observed, "Much bonding with your son you plan to do, by his age becoming?" he questioned.
Obi-Wan fought back the amused chuckle. It figured, here Anakin Skywalker stood before them, saved and redeemed back to the light after all these years and Master Yoda's first comments to the reborn Jedi were humorous observations as to the way in which he chose to appear in his Jedi form. It wasn't fair! This was the sort of thing Obi-Wan was suppose to do, and here Master Yoda had beaten him to it!
Anakin kept in check the sigh which accompanied Yoda's observations. No doubt about it, he was certainly back in the presence of the old Yoda. Anakin could clearly recall now the many fond years of horrible lectures he had endured under Master Yoda.
"No, that's not it" Anakin answered Yoda, his sigh not able to be hidden from his voice.
Yet his annoyance quickly turned to uneasy reluctance as he continued on in his explanation, "I merely...well...I couldn't appear in my true age, I...This was as old as I could appear and still be sure of...of my appearance" Anakin whispered the last part. Yoda's brows furrowed at Anakin's explanation, yet he said nothing. Having an idea of where his old apprentice was heading with this, Obi-Wan began to feel the same uneasiness.
"If I had tried to appear any older, there's a chance I would have had to face the horrible reality that...that the lava's effects would have carried over, even now". Yoda sighed at this explanation, "So much concern you waste on appearance. Still not learned the lesson have you? That more than our appearance...".
Yet, doing something he didn't often do, Obi-Wan interrupted and even ignored Yoda as he placed his hand on Anakin's shoulder, "Anakin, I'm so sorry" he whispered. Yoda was silent, both in the complete shock that Obi-Wan had just interrupted his lecture and confusion over what in the galaxy Obi-Wan felt he had to be sorry about in this. Yet Obi-Wan stood there, every moment of the battle he had been forced to fight against his Padawan and the results it had brought about replaying themselves in his head.
Anakin turned to Obi-Wan and saw the remorseful look etched on his master's face. He was sorry?He was sorry! Anakin shook his head, "No Master, it wasn't your fault!" he insisted. At just hearing the title of Master leave Anakin's mouth with no sneering or laced insult behind it, but spoken in a true, sincere, and reverent manner, Obi-Wan instantly felt that even though he wasn't standing on actual knees anymore, he might collapse onto the bridge floor beneath him due to the wave of emotion.
Yet, Anakin still saw the way Obi-Wan clenched his eyes tight as he said this and the ragged breath and lone tear that escaped from his master as symptoms of Obi-Wan's remorse. "It wasn't your fault!" Anakin insisted again, painfully remembering how right before his descent to the Dark Side and in all those years that followed as Darth Vader, he had hurled the blame for everything that had happened to him on Obi-Wan.
"I forced no other option on you and all but sent myself to my own death" Anakin continued. As Obi-Wan turned a look of caring pity to him, and looked like he might interrupt and say something, Anakin glanced down ashamedly and continued, "In fact, if the crime of me trying to kill you that day wasn't enough, it's only made worse by the fact that later I actually did!". There was no hesitancy on Anakin's part, as his emotional conflict did cause him to slump to the floor of the bridge as sob's racked his body in a way that was almost hard to fathom for one who didn't have an actual body and was merely one with the Force.
Glancing to where Anakin lay on the floor of the wooden bridge, sobbing as if he would purge all his evil deeds he had committed away with his tears as he had once purged the Jedi of the old Order, Yoda turned away with a somber look and decided that this was one of those moments which required him to use the discernment of Jedi and thus slowly remove himself from the scene, leaving the Master and Padawan to work things out alone.
And so, as Obi-Wan knelt down to once more place a hand on Anakin's shoulder, he would have noticed, had he been able to spare the attention, that in the time it took for this action to be completed, Yoda had left and it was just him and Anakin on the bridge. Anakin didn't look up, even as he felt Obi-Wan place his hand on his shoulder, the caring and familiarity of that parental touch only intensifying his guilt and pain.
"Anakin. Anakin, look at me" Obi-Wan said. Yet the only answer he got from his apprentice was a slight shake of the head, "I can't!" Anakin whispered, "I don't deserve to!". Obi-Wan sighed slightly, Anakin's stubbornness certainly hadn't gone anywhere in all these years. "Anakin" he said again, and this time he gently forced the blond head to lift up.
Obi-Wan smiled sadly as looked into the bright blue, tear filled eyes of his apprentice. Eyes that shone out from the young face of the form Anakin had chosen to appear in, yet which held a sad, sobering knowledge of the hardships of the world (much of which he had wrought himself) way beyond that of twenty something years experience.
"Anakin, it wasn't you" Obi-Wan said, capturing Anakin's gaze and speaking in the slow, determined way he had always done when trying to impart a new lesson upon the padawan, or remind him of an old lesson, such as he was doing now. Anakin took in a ragged breath, "but I allowed myself to become what I was! and with each of the atrocities I committed, I wasn't strong enough to stop myself...stop Vader, however you look at it; in some way it was always me! Always my doing!".
"Still preoccupied with being all powerful, Padawan?" Obi-Wan sighed. Anakin looked back to him, "No" he answered, and once again the wisdom coming from him seemed to not fit the age he was portraying himself as, "I realize now that death is something no Jedi can end or halt no matter how hard he tries, or what he foresees. But that's not what I mean! Power over death is unobtainable, sure; but to not be able to stop ones own actions of death and destruction! There's no excuse for that kind...".
"It wasn't you" Obi-Wan said again. He then took both of Anakin's shoulders and caught his gaze again, "and for what remnant of you was left in Darth Vader to restrain from your actions even a little bit required you to battle against the Dark Side in a way that is in no way an easy task, surely you know this. Don't underestimate the Dark Side yet again".
Obi-Wan then smiled a bit, "and besides, you're focusing on the negative again, Anakin. You did eventually defeat the Dark Side's hold on you, as Luke's being alive isa true testament of the action" he added, gesturing over to where Luke was lost in the midst of the Ewok celebration.
Anakin gave a small smile as he too looked over to the celebration, finally allowing Obi-Wan's point to get across. Yet, when he turned back to face his master, Anakin found a look of uncertainty and regret etched on Obi-Wan's face again. "What is it?" Anakin asked. Obi-Wan shook his head and glanced down, "all it took was Luke's hope and faith in you to bring you back. That's all, just faith that you could. Faith I had given up on a long time ago. Yet maybe if I hadn't...ifI had kept believing in you...".
Anakin opened his mouth to say something, but Obi-Wan interrupted him again, "I always thought my biggest failure had been being overconfident in myself in your training. Not seeing the warning signs and allowing you to fall to the Dark Side, but now I see my failures didn't end there. I also gave up on you" he said ashamed, "almost condemning you to an eternity of where you were. Thank the Force Luke had more insight!".
"Well, Luke also only had to watch his hopes be proven wrong a couple of times" Anakin said, "as opposed to the years of heart wrenching let downs and disappointment you would have faced had you continued to hold out hope. To be horribly let down and crushed more than a thousand times. I don't think any mortal could have survived devastation of that magnitude, so maybe it wasn't under your control. Maybe your abandon of your hope was a survival mechanism, and therefore a necessary, subconscious act".
As Anakin finished, a silence fell as Obi-Wan just stood there staring at this man before him. He shook his head as a smile of admiration and awe crossed his face, "When did this happen?" he asked, "Last I recall I was explaining to you why you couldn't date a senator, and now here you are spouting wisdom to surpass even Master Yoda and Master Windu combined!".
Anakin smiled as he glanced down, "Well I know no revelations such as these hit me while I was Darth Vader, so I suppose somewhere in the last few hours". Obi-Wan smiled, "Well, I suppose I should take the cue from my no doubt very grown-up apprentice. I can't ask you to forgive yourself of the mistakes of your past and move on without doing the same. So, well put my very wise apprentice. Moving on".
The smile on Anakin's face grew, "Did it take you this long to realize I've grown-up!" he asked, he shook his head, "Only proves what I told Padme years before back when I was protecting her during her assassination attempt. You, Master, apparently did have a lot to learn" he said. Obi-Wan kept a neutral gaze, yet one laced with amusement and humor, trained on Anakin, "Moving on" he repeated as his only answer to Anakin's statement.
The redeemed Jedi gave a genuine laugh at this, one that did Obi-Wan's heart such good and gave him such a sense of relief he couldn't keep the broad smile from his face. He then placed a hand on Anakin's shoulder yet again, "but really, Anakin" he said, "you don't need to be apprehensive about what your appearance in the Force would be now. Whatever it is, it's still you".
Anakin nodded, "I know...it's just...maybe we'll work on it" he said finally. Obi-Wan nodded, "I'm going to hold you to that" he said, "As slowly as need be, but we'll work on it. To be afraid of any age past your early twenties isn't good for you". Anakin nodded yet again, "Well work on it" he repeated, he then turned a look of interest to Obi-Wan "but for now clear something up for me. What did my poor son ever do to you that you would give his sister a royal life on Alderaan and yet stick him with my step-brother who hates me!".