Chapter Four

"Wheeeeee!" I screamed, running through the town stark naked.

The wind whooshed all over my body. My birthday shirt was awesome! Why hadn't I ever tried this before? I mean, running around the house naked age 3-19 was fun, but the wind didn't wash over you like this! The feeling was fantastic! All natural is the best ever! I wished I was an Indian! Even though they wear those things over them, not all Indians did! Yes! I would be an excellent Indian! It would be the best. Then something poked my back. I didn't look back, I just kept running, my flabby arms sticking up in the air. The poke came again! And again, and again, and again! I finally turned around to see-

I blinked my eyes open and spat the gravel out of my mouth. Apparently I wasn't doing a great job at keeping my house clean. I looked back to my back. Tom Nook was poking me with a sharp, pointy stick. I watched the blood ooze out of my back as the pointy stick got jabbed into my weak, spiny back. Tom Nook stopped and bared his teeth at me angrily.

"Get… to… work…" he ordered.

"Keep poking me!" I wailed, "The blood is cool!"

Tom's head grew and grew until it was as big as an angry anime character's head and he screamed, "Get to work! NOW!"

"Fine!" I snapped, "I'll work at your dumb shop, you old raccoon! You have black hairs on your tail! That's close to grey, gramps!"

Tom Nook's head started to shrink and I ran away before his mouth was low enough to bite me and I ran away. I got to Nook's Cranny and I bent over, gasping for breath. Tom Nook ran over, his super speed making the grass go:

Shake, Shake, Tom makes us dance! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah! We're dancing grass! We don't get to dance unless Tom lets us! Tom's so nice! Yeah, yeah! We're dancing! Oh yeah, yeah, shake that laffy taffy! Yeah! Shake that grassy laffy taffy! Shake it, shake it! Yeah, yeah! Yeah! Tom, you rule! Go, Tom, go! Go, go, go! Yeah, Tom! Yeah! The other grass doesn't get to dance! Yeah! Look a freaking flower gets to dance as well! Go, flower! Shake those leaves! Yeah, yeah! Go, Tom, go! Use your super speed again, Tom! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Dance, baby, dance! Go Herald, go Herald! Go flower, go! Go flower, go! Yeah, yeah! Noooo! The dancing is stopping! Noooo! We're just wiggling a bit. No! Tom, help! We're not dancing anymore! We're still! Yay, wind! Dance, dance! Dance!

"Hello, gramps!" I exclaimed, "What work do you want the young, sexy person to do today?"

Tom threw some stationary at my head and I fell over, "Go deliver this to Purrl! She wants to write mean stuff to someone! I HOPE IT'S YOU!"

I ran to Purrl's house and knocked on her door. Her door creaked open quickly and Purrl grabbed her stationary and poked my eyes.

I rubbed my eyes, "What was that for, furry lips? I said to kiss me, not poke my eyes."

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed.

"So who's the hate mail going to be for?" I asked her.

"YOU, YOU STUPID FAG-BAG!"

I looked around, "Who, I only see me."

"I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU, TY! YOU'RE SO DUMB, YOU FREAKIN' FREAK! GO TAKE A HIKE!"

I grinned, "That's a great idea! I've never hiked, wanna come with me?"

"NO!"

"Okay, see you later."

Short chapter, I know