Konoha…On Crack
Disclaimer: Naruto is not owned by me… so there. I also don't own Red vs. Blue in which this was pretty much based upon.
It was a peaceful day in Konoha. Ever since the fall of Orochimaru, who ended up just being some random puppet made from Kankurou, was defeated. Kankurou, on the other hand, was sentenced to be enternally beaten the crap out of by Temari, who became the official Sand Village Bitch.
As for Gaara, he stepped down from Kazekage to achieve his life long dream of being a Plastic Surgeon. Unfortunately, during his first surgery, the blood excited him and he accidentally killed everyone around him… Oops.
Meanwhile, in Konoha, Naruto and Sakura stood at the grave of their friend-turned-evil-turned-good again-turned-dead, AKA Sasuke. "I can't believe he's really gone!" Cried Naruto. "I… (sniffle) I'm just so happy!"
"God why!" Sakura wailed. "Why did he have to die?"
Then Sasuke popped up right behind them. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Sasuke!" Sakura wailed again and attempted to hold the asshole-nin, but he just tripped her instead. "We thought you were dead!"
"Nonsense, Annoying one. I was merely napping…"
"But how did you get out of your grave?" Asked Naruto. "I buried you 10 feet underground and even poured Cement over you, just in case you came back as a zombie."
"Yes, but there was one problem… you left me my spoon."
"NO!"
"That's right!" Sasuke cheered. "I ate my way out! The soft dirt was like a Walnut Brownie to me… which I should become a Jounin for, because I hate walnuts."
Then Tsunade appeared in a poof of smoke. "Good point." And she made Sasuke a Jounin. "Later." And then she vanished again.
"What the crap? How come you're a jounin?" Naruto shouted. "I've dealt with crap ten times as worse and I'm still a genin."
"That's because no one really likes you."
Naruto sulked off in his little corner. "I like me…"
Suddenly, Shikamaru and Chouji stepped up to the three. Chouji was wearing a wedding gown and eating his trademark potato chips. "Everyone! We have something to say! Shikamaru and I are in love, and we're getting married!"
"That's right. We're getting hitched and there's nothing you and do about it." Shikamaru turned toward Temari, who was at Konoha again for her weekly rampage. "Not even you, Ass-Kicking Temari."
"But Shikamaruuuu. I thought you said you loved MEEEEEEEE!"
Then for something weird reason, every began yelling, including Tsunade, who was tearing out her hair.
"The horror! The HORROORR!"
Shikamaru shot up in bed, screaming. "AAHHHHhhh-yoi-hooo…boy…" He was in his bed, covered in sweat. "Oh good." He sighed in relief. "It was just dream… just a dream. Just a dream-memememe."
"Yes…" spoke Chouji next to him. "It was just a dream… Now go back to sleep. You'll wake the children."
Suddenly Temari shot up in bed, screaming. "I… Have… to… kill him… TONIGHT!" And the rest was history. "Like hell, it's history! I'm coming to kill you!" Oh, I'm so afraid. You're just a character. "One that could your butt. (Waves fan)" Please, like that's going t- (We regret to inform that the current author has be pwned. The story will end now)
Kora: Gem? Gem, talk to me. Gem?…GEEEEM!
Astar: (Plays the Metal Gear Solid Game Over theme) Now review!