Disclaimer: I neither own nor am the authorof Inuyasha.

Other things to say: Yes, I've heard before that this story is as stupid as I am. Ouch. But at least if it's garbage, it's garbage I put effort into. Do not read it if you don't want Kagome and Inuyasha together, or Kouga and Ayami. Don't read it if you don't like cuss words. Don't read it if you are afraid of dogs. Some plusses to it are appearances by Sesshomaru, Kouga, and Ayami. It also has a very sweet ending I think, and the work is meant to flow as a coherent whole. The beginnning has more comedy, but the end is more serious and profound. An especial warning is that it is meant to occur at the very end of the series, far, far in the future, after Inuyasha and Kagome have gotten most of the kinks out of their relationship. That they are so close to eachother in my story just reflects that a vast amount of time and adventuring has passed, beyond the 400th manga chapter. It was my little answer to the question of how to get Inuyasha and Kagome together, and Kouga out of the way.

Title: The Tweaking of the Ears

It was beautiful day in the feudal ages of Japan. Outside a small village in the mountains, a group of travelers lounged in the sun. The group was comprised of a demon-slayer, a monk, a priestess, two small demons, and a hanyou. It was a strange traveling group to be sure. Everyone in this group was relaxed, as if it were one large family. That is, of course, everyone except the priestess and the hanyou. As usual, a spat broke out between them. The others in the group just sighed and leaned back to watch the inevitable after Inuyasha the half-demon chose to make an improper comment to Kagome, their fiesty priestess.

After lunch, Kagome had whipped out a bag of cookies from her world beyond the well. Everyone in the group had been delighted, including Inuyasha. Kagome had been especially generous to him, giving him two cookies instead of one. However, Kagome had just been chewing off his ear about something or other, and rather agitated, he chanced to make a rude comment. Sarcastically, Inuyasha had leaned over to say, "Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? I'll bet it's just because you're in heat."

At this improper comment, Kagome had done the predictable. She became immediately enraged by the ungrateful, foul-mouthed hanyou. One could just see her temper rising ominously as her back tensed. She glared, fists held tightly to her sides, at the foolish offender. A deep blush spread across her face. Furiously, a shout rolled off her tounge. "Inuyasha! How can you say something like that!"

"Yeah, well, you know it's true," replied the hanyou.

"Is not!"

"Is too, wench."

Kagome was temporarily taken aback. Sure, Inuyasha was constantly rude, putting one foot in his own mouth, but he seldom called her that. Instead, he was always calling her, "stupid," or "you" in some bossy manner. But this term was on an unparalleled level of nastiness, and she was determined to make him pay for it.

"Whatfph! I am not a wench."

The hanyou's eyes narrowed stubbornly. "Yes you are."

Kagome immediately got her revenge with her favorite spiritual command. "SIT!" she bellowed out.

At her call, the collar around Inuyasha's neck glowed brightly and yanked him forcibly to the ground. Kagome as well as everyone else in their party could hear groans of pain coming from the poor, foolish hanyou wallowing in the dirt. However, Inuyasha was not content to let it simply be. He quickly picked himself up from the ground, determined to carry on the argument at any cost.

"There, see what did I tell you?" said the hanyou rising from dust.

"SIT, SIT, SIT INUYASHA! I am not a wench!" bellowed Kagome.

Knocked into some semblance of sense by the pain, the hanyou shot back, "All right Kagome, fine, you're not, okay? Just stop that." But Kagome was wrath.

"You'd better apologize mister!"

Inuyasha growled disgruntledly but stopped hurriedly at Kagome's glare.

"All right, I'm sorry, okay?" he said passifyingly.

Kagome suddenly smiled. "All right Inuyasha, I'll forgive you on one condition." The hanyou looked back at her with mistrust.

"Which is?"

"I get to pull on your ears for a bit."

A broad scowl spread across the hanyou's face as Kagome happily slide behind him on the grass.

"Hmnh-hah-hah," the priestess laughed happily as she fondled the white dog ears on Inuyasha's head. They were silky and smooth, and really quite soft to the touch. They were radiating coolness in the summer sun and her hot fingers left traces of sweat on the veins. Inuyasha tried to put up with it for half a minute. Then his tolerance was completely expended. He darted away.

"Ow! Stop doing that!" he complained vocally.

Inuyasha scooted far away from Kagome. Annoyed by her prey's flight, Kagome got up to kneel in front of Inuyasha on the grass. She looked him eye to eye for a few minutes, a twitch of irritation still haunting her brows as she searched his face. Suddenly, Inuyasha reached over and pulled on her ears lightly.

"Ow! Don't do that Inuyasha!" said Kagome.

As Kagome became riled anew, Inuyasha merely turned his head away to avoid conflict. "Yeah, well now you know how it feels."

"Humph!"

Startlingly, Kagome responded by punching Inuyasha in head.

"Ow, what was that for!" cried Inuyasha.

But the priestess didn't respond. Instead, she grabbed hold of a strand of Inuyasha's long silver hair and smacked him three more times for good measure. Automatically, Inuyasha grabbed her wrist.

"What the hell is wrong with you Kagome!" said the dog-demon. He was shocked to see Kagome smiling at him.

"Well you did say that I'm a wench."

"Hmnuph….," said Inuyasha slightly confused.

Behind the fighting couple, Songo the demon-slayer put up a hand and hissed at Kagome. "Don't you think that's going a little far with him?"

Kagome only smiled at her friend's query. She patted Inuyasha on the head, and said, "Don't worry, I know that Inuyasha would never hurt me. It's just that…" Kagome suddenly stood up and shoved Inuyasha face forward onto the ground. "He likes picking fights!" she finished off in a playful mood.

Much to Songo's confusion, Kagome ran off laughing madly. Inuyasha, however, pulled his nose up out of the turf to pursue her.

"Oi! Kagome!"

Inuyasha got up and leapt a few times after his lover to land in front of her. "What's the matter with you?" he asked harshly.

Kagome smiled playfully up at him. She would get her revenge all right. "Oh, I don't know Inuyasha. You did say I was in heat didn't you?" Flustered, Inuyasha suddenly crossed his arms and turned away denying it.

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. What's the matter, not interested anymore?"

Inuyasha's eyes opened in shock as Kagome suddenly vaulted toward him, knocking him backwards. She sat right on top of him, yanking on his kimono.

"All right, you! Take them off, right now!" Kagome demanded.

In the background, Songo the demon-slayer clapped her hands to her mouth, shocked by her friend's behavior. Miroku, the perverted monk, merely laughed inside himself, enjoying the entertainment. Shippo and Kilala watched with circular eyes.

Inuyasha, pinned beneath Kagome, struggled to pull her hands off. "Cr-r-r-azy bitch!" he yelped flustered and confused. He sat up abruptly and dumped Kagome off. In an effort to elude her pursuit, he instinctively leapt into the water of the small river they were lounging against. Soggy, with beads off water rolling off his white ears, he looked back at the bank where Kagome stood laughing. Embarrassment overtook him. He scowled back at the woman making fun of him.

"It's not funny."

"Yes it is," said the woman holding her side.

At this comment, Inuyasha walked up out of the riverbed. He wandered up to Kagome, who was completely unsuspecting. The dog-demon then crouched down and shook himself dry, flinging water all over her.

"EEEKK!" yelled Kagome. "Inuyasha!"

Soggy with water, Kagome walked up to face Inuyasha. They stood staring at each other, growling out their irritation. Together they filled the air with a, "GRRRRrrrrrrrrr…rrrrrr…rrrrr….rrr.rr……r…"

Finally, the frolicking couple began to settle down. The argument was forgotten between them. Idly, Kagome reached up a hand and brushed the dirt and speckles of water off Inuyasha's face. Her touch was soft and gentle. Inuyasha shuddered under her touch and breathed her scent in lightly.

"Hey," the hanyou murmured gently.

Naturally, without any thought, Inuyasha reached out so that his arms took hold of Kagome's. He bent over and began to lick off the water he had shaken onto her neck. Suddenly, he paused, taking in her sweet scent before nuzzling her under the chin and scratching her skin lightly with his teeth. Kagome's eyes grew wide.

"Inuyasha…"

The hanyou did not seem to notice. He was lost somewhere in a world of dreams. Bending ever closer, his strange behavior was arrested by an angry shout by a young toddler.

"Hey!" Shippo the fox-demon shouted out. "Stop that right now Inuyasha! Didn't you say she's not your woman? Don't take liberties with her!"

"Huh?" said the hanyou starting awake. "Oh. Forgive me Kagome."

With that, Inuyasha folded up his arms and walked away into the woods. He didn't look back and his tone had suggested he was still lost somewhere in thought. Kagome, too, was no longer herself. She stood in a daze, looking at the disappearing hanyou's back, while the others of their group moved up to stand behind her. Songo broke the silence first with a wondering comment.

"What was all that about?"

Shippo, the young fox-demon, climbed up into the basket of Kagome's bicycle. Despite being very young, he was the only talking full-demon they had, and sometimes he was very knowledgeable about things. In this case, Shippo swelled up and looked at his friends as if he had something important to say, and he did. Boldly, he spoke his wisdom from the lofty bicycle basket, beginning with a sigh.

"Sigh. I'm sorry I had to yell at him. He was having such a good time. But I had to interrupt him, it was for his own good."

"Why is that?" asked Songo. Kilala mewed on her shoulder.

"Well," said Shippo, "Inuyasha was getting close to doing something he shouldn't do. It wasn't that bad. I suppose Kagome is his woman after all, since they… ah... enjoyed each other's pleasure on the sanctifying night."

Miroku the monk bent over with a discrete hand up. "Shhh, Shippo!" he put in sagely. Shippo cleared his throat.

"Well the point is that Inuyasha was close to giving her the nip of ownership without permission," said Shippo.

Miroku became interested immediately and broke in to ask, "The nip of ownership?" Songo commented from his side.

"I've heard of such a thing before, Miroku. We demonslayers, when handling a demon, know to look for such a bite. It is a mark, a scar or tattoo at the base of the neck that signifies that the demon has chosen a life mate for itself. If we see that, we know to keep an eye out for the second mate."

Miroku responded wonderingly. "And you say that Inuyasha was about to give Kagome such a bite?" Shippo shook his head yes in an all-knowing manner.

"Yes, but unlike what Songo here says, I know for a fact that the bite of ownership isn't always in one place or even just one. It depends on the demon. The most important thing about it is that it has to be consented to, it's reciprocal." The young fox demon smiled with humor. "I didn't think that Kagome was ready to bite Inuyasha."

Kagome responded haughtily. "Yeah, well, maybe I could bite him for embarrassing me."

"Don't worry Kagome," said Shippo, "you don't have to be embarrassed around us, we know how you feel.

"Yes," said Songo, "don't worry about it."

"Thanks you guys. Still… after hearing about it, I guess it's not such a bad thing." Shippo coughed at this.

"Well, it's the deeper meaning behind it. It's kind of like a pledge to bear or father the other one's child. It's a very permanent arrangement, where a demon is expected to defend its spouse to the death if necessary." A serious, determined look spread across the young one's face. He looked very cute with his scrunched up nose and crossed eyes. Kagome colored slightly at what she had said.

"That does sound pretty serious Shippo."

"Yeah, I think that Inuyasha just lost his head back there because he loves you, Kagome. But don't let him bite you until you're ready to be mates for life." The young one backed down from his podium, having run out of things to say. Kagome addressed him in a hurried way.

"Thanks Shippo for explaining things."

The young fox-demon nodded his head before leaping out of the lofty bicycle basket. Kagome watched him scurry off to play and wondered at his words. Kagome thought to herself, "Did Inuyasha really mean that?"

Late that night, the moon looked down to find old Kaede messing with dinner that she was serving. The party from before had come to her as guests. They were familiar friends of hers, her house being a home base of theirs. The group currently around her fire was composed of the demon-slayer, the monk, the priestess, and the two small demons. Inuyasha still hadn't come back yet, but the rest of the group were there, sitting quietly in Kaede's hut. It was dark, but the fire was warm and comforting. Expectedly, from out of the night, someone came rustling along and pulled back the curtain door to enter the hut.

"Hello," said Kagome, "Welcome back Inuyasha." Kagome had stood up in hopes of engaging him in talk, but Inuyasha would have none of it. He ignored her, and talked to Kaede instead.

"Keh. So did you leave any food for me, old woman."

"Aye, there is enough stew remaining for ye, Inuyasha," murmured the old woman's voice.

Inuyasha sat down across the fire from Kagome and began to eat his soup. Ignored, Kagome absorbed a sad look on her face. Defensively, Shippo leapt onto Inuyasha's shoulder.

"Inuyasha," demanded Shippo, "say something to her."

"Keh," said an irritated hanyou. "And what is it I'm supposed to say? Go dangle off Miroku you little pipsqueak." Inuyasha finished his soup quickly and got up again. He headed towards the door, pulling back the screen.

"I'm sleeping outside tonight," he announced. "Watch Kagome for me would ya?" Then he walked off, everyone knew to his favorite tree. Kagome sighed.

"Well, that's Inuyasha for you," said Kagome sadly. "Still, sometimes it would be easier if he would just talk things out a little." Shippo leapt up to dangle off her arm. Kagome looked at him as he talked from her shoulder.

"Well, Inuyasha's not like that. He'd much rather go for action, like knocking down trees and stuff."

"Sigh…. Yeah, you're right Shippo." Kagome looked resigned, but she continued on in her thoughts, "Still, it's a lot to put me through. I really need to talk to you about this, Inuyasha."

Restless, Kagome got up and stood by the door. Suddenly, she heard a village dog bark, then several more, in the distance. Without warning, the outside of the hut was blasted by a twister. Kagome put her arms up to protect her face from the wind, her skirt blowing. When the wind subsided, she pulled back the screen door and ducked out of the hut, looking around curiously. In her thoughts, she said to herself, "There is only one person it could possibly be and that's…"

Kagome's expectations came true as a certain wolf demon swaggered out of the dark. He smiled at her, leaning back jauntily. "Hi Kagome. Miss me, my beloved?"

Kouga of the wolf-demon tribe walked up to Kagome with an air of confidence. That his infatuation with her had not diminished was obvious. Kagome heaved an inward sigh, thinking, "He sure is persistent if he's tracked me all the way here. We aren't anywhere near his mountains."

Kagome looked mournfully at the persistent suitor when abruptly Inuyasha dropped down from Kaede's rooftop. A jealous hanyou physically pushed himself between the two, blocking Kouga from getting to Kagome. He took to Kouga like oil to water, as usual.

"Hello ya mangy wolf. What brings you here... GET THE HELL OUT OF MY TERRITORY!" Inuyasha and Kouga faced each other snarling. After a while, Kouga backed down and waved his hand dismissively.

"Ha, like I care about it. I'm leaving, just as soon as I get my lovely Kagome back."

"Like hell you are," said Inuyasha snarling.

"Kouga," broke in Kagome, "that's really sweet of you but haven't I explained to you that you're already promised to Ayami? It really wouldn't work out."

"Hah, don't speak such nonsense," put in Kouga. Kouga ducked beneath Inuyasha's arm and clutched Kagome's hand. Then he really turned on the charm.

"I told you," he wooed to Kagome, "that my heart belongs only to you."

Enraged by Kouga's blatant advances on HIS woman, Inuyasha swiped at Kouga with his claws. Kouga of course, was prepared for this as usual and ducked. From the inside of Kaede's hut, Inuyasha's other companions could see nothing. However, they could easily hear the angry shouts and guess what was happening. The walls and floors of Kaede's hut were shaking, the roof was creaking, and there was a horrible smashing and splintering sound coming from outside. Unable to ignore the quarrel outside, the rest of Inuyasha's group filed out, with Kaede following behind. Kaede had her hand on the screen when she took in the sight and exclaimed, "Oh, my".

Outside of the hut, there were broken crates and chickens running loose clucking. There were clawmarks in the ground, a lot of dust, splintered trees, ruined agricultural machinery, that sort of stuff. Inuyasha had Kouga by the throat, pinning him down against a pile of timbers. Kagome stood to the side looking annoyed.

"Inuyasha, SIT!" she cried. Inuyasha went down.

Turning away, Kagome addressed Kouga. "Sorry about that, Kouga."

From the ground, Inuyasha hollered, "Don't apologize to him Kagome!" He plucked himself off the ground as quickly as he could. Standing, he burst out more calmly, "So what's the real reason you're here, you mangy wolf?"

Kouga stood with a show of nonchalantly brushing his arm off before replying. "Not that it's any of your business dogbreath but it just so happens I heard of some jewel shards in the Northern Mountains."

Kagome drew in a sharp breath. "That's impossible. I thought Naraku had nearly all the jewel shards. The others are accounted for."

Kouga leaned back. "Yeah, well that's what I heard. Personally, I think it's some trick by Ayami to get me to come back, but I have sent some of my men. They assured me it's the real deal."

Doubtfully, Kagome spoke, "Is it possible? Are there really shards left beyond Naraku's reach?"

Inuyasha scoffed. "Damn, don't speak so dismally Kagome. It's not like he has all of them or something. There are still a few in a certain wolf's hairy legs for example." With more of a warning thanan effortto catch Kouga off guard, Inuyasha swung and Kouga ducked.

"Ha, dogbreath," mocked Kouga. "You couldn't hit me in a million years." Inuyasha made a fist.

"Why, you…"

Before the fight had a chance to go further, Kagome put a calming hand on Inuyasha's shoulder. He looked around at her.

"So tell us Kouga, where exactly are these jewel shards?"

"That's exactly the problem. I came to get you, since you're the only one who can see them. They are in possession of a certain tribe of fierce demons, and they move around quite a bit. They have terrible powers, but I'm not entirely sure if it's caused by a jewel or something else. That's why I need you." Kouga tried to clasp her hand again. He spoke with renewed amour.

"So are you ready my love," pleaded Kouga in a love-struck way. "Because it's off to the Northern Mountains."

Kagome looked annoyed. "Oh Inuyasha," she called.

"Yeah?" said Inuyasha excitedly, like it might be his lucky day. He so dearly wanted to pound Kouga.

Kagome looked at him sternly. "Get packed, because we're all going." From Inuyasha andthose observing, there were moans all around.