When he came into my life, I didn't know that it would come to this. Every moment I spend with him is like a little taste of heaven. Yet, at the same time, I reinforce these urges with, "He's like my brother. I'm like his sister. He'll never feel the same way about me...right?
BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! Ruthie slammed the snooze button on her alarm clock, not wanting to greet the day. Instead, she wanted to greet her eyelids again. However, that didn't last for long.
"Ruthie! Get up! You're going to be late! You want to see Vincent, don't you?"
This made her jump out of bed. Vincent, the reason for her living, the breath she took in every day, the...
"Ruthie! Let's go! If you don't hurry up, I'm makin' you ride the bus with that nose-pickin slob!"
God...I love him when he's in a hurry. Wait! What! What is going on with me? I can't believe this. First, the dream last night, and now this? Vincent, Ruthie, Vincent!
After slabbing on 25 pounds of makeup, picking out a skirt and shirt, pulling on her knee-high boots, and taking one last look in the mirror, she ran downstairs, tripping in those previously mentioned boots.
"OW! Holy..."
"Ruth, I thought I told you those things are dangerous. Lord, they make you a whole foot taller. I swear, one thing I will never understand is how you girls are able to walk in those without breaking your neck."
"Well, apparently, I can't walk in them. I just tripped," Ruthie joked.
Martin chuckled to himself. Man oh man, does she look hot in those. Wait! What am I saying? She's two years younger than me! She's like my sister! It was just an crazy thought. I'm half asleep, that's all. That's all, that has to be all. Zoe's my girlfriend. I love her, don't I?
As Martin lifted her up, Ruthie straightened her skirt and ran out the door. She came back in, however, for her lunch. Deep down, she knew she wouldn't eat it anyway, but she had to at least take it with her.
This skirt is getting really tight. It's only a size 2! I can't be getter bigger! No! Alright, no lunch. That's it, I'm drawing the line. Thankfully, no one's noticed yet.
After making her way to the car, where Martin had it started up and ready, she threw her stuff in the back and got in.
"Seatbelt," Martin said.
After hearing that satisfying click, Martin shifted into reverse, carefully watching behind him for the mailbox. Martin was notorious for hitting it. How many times had he hit it? Well, it was easy to tell by all the scratches on the back corner. I need to buff those. Martin thought.
Looking over at Ruthie, he suddenly realized that she didn't look too good. "Hey Ruth?"
"What? My seatbelt's on. I'm not eating or drinking in the car, and my feet are on the floor of the car. What did I do now?"
"Nothing," he said with concern, " I was just gonna ask if you are feeling okay. You look a little pale."
Crap, he noticed,
"Yeah, I'm fine," Ruthie said with a bit of an attitude.
Martin noticed this, but didn't mention it again. They were at school anyway. He knew that if Ruthie went to homeroom mad, she would not have a good day. Martin knew all too well the consequences of that. He found a parking spot, and shut off the engine.
Ruthie walked down the hallway, noticing all her friends staring at her. Why are they looking at me? Do I really look that fat? I can't be, I just can't.
After walking into homeroom, Alyssa, one of her best friends, yanked her into the seat beside her.
"What's up with you?" Alyssa asked with concern. "You aren't ever happy anymore, your infamous grin that Vincent loved is gone. C'mon! Smile once in a while! Your life can't be THAT bad.
If you only knew, Alyssa.
"Look, Alyssa. Things just aren't going really well right now. I'm just not in the mood, and I really haven't been feeling well. Please, just let me figure some things out, and I'll bring my smile out of the closet."
Alyssa quietly agreed, although she was worried. Ruthie never acted like this. Did she do something? Did Vincent do something?
"Ya know," Alyssa began, "you haven't been acting right ever since that party."
Alyssa was quickly hushed by their teacher, Mr. Kovack, walking in the room. The roll was taken, and Ruthie went through her day in almost a trance.
Finally, the end of the day rolled around. After Alyssa mentioned the party, Ruthie had been even worse. Her stomach didn't feel right. However, she hadn't eaten, she remembered, so that could be it.
"Ruthie!" Martin yelled, bringing Ruthie out of her thoughts. "Hey, you ready? I gotta get you home. Zoe and I are heading over to the Promenade, so I want time to get my car washed."
"Yeah, okay," Ruthie answered without any emotion. Martin was really becoming worried about her. He loved Ruthie, and to see her hurt for whatever reason made him want to just hold her, kiss her...
Why am I doing this? Martin thought. All these feelings were rushing through his head, and he couldn't figure them out.
"Martin! You're the one that said you wanted to drop me off as soon as you could! I don't have a legal permit yet! I'm not driving home! Let's go!"
Martin was brought out of his trance, as Ruthie yelled at him. Why is she so tempermental? Something's wrong with her.
Martin started the engine, ready to leave. He noticed that again, she looked pale. He found some peanuts in the glove compartment, and offered them to Ruthie.
"Hey, are you hungry? I have these in there if you want some."
Suddenly, Ruthie appeared as though she was going to throw up. Martin quickly pulled over, and as soon as she got out, she spilled her guts on the side of the highway.
Martin, now seriously concerned, was all over Ruthie with questions. "Are you feeling okay? How long have you been throwing up? Maybe you should stay home tomorrow. I'll just let your mom know. I'm sure she'd let you stay if she knew you were feeling as bad as you apparently do. Wait, why are you hiding it? You're usually the one that fakes sick to get out of school. Why would you fake healthy?"
"Martin, please, just leave me alone. I'm fine. I'm going to school. I don't like peanuts, you know that." By this time, they were in the driveway.
"So seeing them makes you throw up? Ruthie, you're not making any sense. Please, just let me know that you're okay. I hate it when you're not feeling well."
Aw, that's so sweet. God, he's hot when he's concerned. Wait, stop thinking like this, Ruthie! Stop, stop, stop!
"I'm fine really." She entered through the back door, and ran to her room, leaving Martin to deal with her things in the car.
"I have to be fine. I just have to," Ruthie said with tears in her eyes.
"Ruthie! Ruthie, please open the door! Something's up, and I know it! Open the door, Ruth!" Martin yelled.
Ruthie sat in her room, listening to Martin bang on her door, while she sat against it and wept. She herself knew that something may very well be "up," but she wasn't ready to admit it to herself, let alone anyone else.
After Ruthie had somewhat maintained her composure, she noticed that Martin had stopped knocking. She quietly opened the door, and couldn't see him. Yes, Martin's behind the door for all of you smart people.
She headed to the restroom, suddenly feeling sick again. Martin watched her run for the door, not bothering to shut it. After she had entered, he walked into her room, quickly searching for any clues.
He found a note lying on her dresser. Martin wasn't one to snoop, but his curiosity got the better of him. He heard the voices in his head telling him not to do it, but he did anyway. If it tells me what's wrong with Ruthie, than I have to read it. I think something's really wrong with her.
After winning the argument with the voices in his head, he began to open the note. However, Ruthie reappeared, and snatched the note from him faster than you can say...you know the drill.
"Who said you could snoop in here? I'm fine! Really! I don't need you to act like my father, because you're not."
"Well, I'm like your brother, so I suggest you tell me what's wrong with you. It wasn't the peanuts, was it? Why are you feeling so bad? Why won't you tell me! I wouldn't be this concerned if you just told me."
Believe me, Martin, I want to. But I have to see if it's true, first.
"Look, I'm fine. Please, just leave me alone. I need some time to think."
Martin, with much reluctance, left her room, shutting the door behind him. Ruthie knew what was wrong. She'd been suspecting it for a while. Ever since the party, she'd heard that women's intuition screaming in her head. The phone rang, making her jump.
"Ruthie!" Annie yelled, apparently home with the twins. Oh great, Ruthie thought. Now they'll bombard me with questions!
"Ruthie! Vincent's on the phone! He wants to talk to you!"
Ruthie picked up the phone. Right now, Vincent was the only good thing going on in her life.
"Hello? Vincent?"
"Ruthie, hey. Look, we need to talk."
Ruthie felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, and knew what was going to happen. She suddenly couldn't breathe, and felt sick again, only for a different reason.
"Look, Ruthie, I like you a lot. But lately, I've been hearing some things."
"What kind of things, Vincent?" Ruthie asked with frustration.
"Well, about that party that you went to. The one that I couldn't go with you to? Yeah, uh, I heard you hooked up with somebody else. Is that true?"
Ruthie instantly felt hot tears welling up in her eyes, and running down her cheeks. "Which party? Wait, don't answer that. But I need you to know something. Vincent, I...I'm...I might be..."
"Oh my god, Ruthie! How could you do this? I trusted you with everything! I mean, I thought I loved you! How the heck can you do this to me? You're going to throw it away on some random guy? Ruthie, it's over. It's over, Ruthie. I can't trust you anymore!"
"Vincent, no!" Ruthie said with sadness, but was met with a tone at the other end. She hung up, and instantly began bawling. She couldn't catch a breath, and her body racked with huge sobs that she couldn't contain within herself.
"Vincent," she said to herself, "you were the only thing going well in my life right now. If you only knew..."