When he came
into my life, I didn't know that it would come to this. Every moment
I spend with him is like a little taste of heaven. Yet, at the same
time, I reinforce these urges with, "He's like my brother. I'm
like his sister. He'll never feel the same way about me...right?
BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! Ruthie slammed the snooze button on her alarm
clock, not wanting to greet the day. Instead, she wanted to greet her
eyelids again. However, that didn't last for long.
"Ruthie!
Get up! You're going to be late! You want to see Vincent, don't you?"
This made her jump out of bed. Vincent, the reason for her
living, the breath she took in every day, the...
"Ruthie!
Let's go! If you don't hurry up, I'm makin' you ride the bus with
that nose-pickin slob!"
God...I love him when he's in a
hurry. Wait! What! What is going on with me? I can't believe this.
First, the dream last night, and now this? Vincent, Ruthie, Vincent!
After slabbing on 25 pounds of makeup, picking out a skirt
and shirt, pulling on her knee-high boots, and taking one last look
in the mirror, she ran downstairs, tripping in those previously
mentioned boots.
"OW! Holy..."
"Ruth, I
thought I told you those things are dangerous. Lord, they make you a
whole foot taller. I swear, one thing I will never understand is how
you girls are able to walk in those without breaking your neck."
"Well, apparently, I can't walk in them. I just tripped,"
Ruthie joked.
Martin chuckled to himself. Man oh man, does she
look hot in those. Wait! What am I saying? She's two years younger
than me! She's like my sister! It was just an crazy thought. I'm half
asleep, that's all. That's all, that has to be all. Zoe's my
girlfriend. I love her, don't I?
As Martin lifted her up,
Ruthie straightened her skirt and ran out the door. She came back in,
however, for her lunch. Deep down, she knew she wouldn't eat it
anyway, but she had to at least take it with her.
This skirt
is getting really tight. It's only a size 2! I can't be getter
bigger! No! Alright, no lunch. That's it, I'm drawing the line.
Thankfully, no one's noticed yet.
After making her way to the
car, where Martin had it started up and ready, she threw her stuff in
the back and got in.
"Seatbelt," Martin said.
After
hearing that satisfying click, Martin shifted into reverse, carefully
watching behind him for the mailbox. Martin was notorious for hitting
it. How many times had he hit it? Well, it was easy to tell by all
the scratches on the back corner. I need to buff those. Martin
thought.
Looking over at Ruthie, he suddenly realized that she
didn't look too good. "Hey Ruth?"
"What? My
seatbelt's on. I'm not eating or drinking in the car, and my feet are
on the floor of the car. What did I do now?"
"Nothing,"
he said with concern, " I was just gonna ask if you are feeling
okay. You look a little pale."
Crap, he noticed,
"Yeah,
I'm fine," Ruthie said with a bit of an attitude.
Martin
noticed this, but didn't mention it again. They were at school
anyway. He knew that if Ruthie went to homeroom mad, she would not
have a good day. Martin knew all too well the consequences of that.
He found a parking spot, and shut off the engine.
Ruthie walked
down the hallway, noticing all her friends staring at her. Why are
they looking at me? Do I really look that fat? I can't be, I just
can't.
After walking into homeroom, Alyssa, one of her best
friends, yanked her into the seat beside her.
"What's up
with you?" Alyssa asked with concern. "You aren't ever
happy anymore, your infamous grin that Vincent loved is gone. C'mon!
Smile once in a while! Your life can't be THAT bad.
If you
only knew, Alyssa.
"Look, Alyssa. Things just aren't
going really well right now. I'm just not in the mood, and I really
haven't been feeling well. Please, just let me figure some things
out, and I'll bring my smile out of the closet."
Alyssa
quietly agreed, although she was worried. Ruthie never acted like
this. Did she do something? Did Vincent do something?
"Ya
know," Alyssa began, "you haven't been acting right ever
since that party."
Alyssa was quickly hushed by their
teacher, Mr. Kovack, walking in the room. The roll was taken, and
Ruthie went through her day in almost a trance.
Finally, the end
of the day rolled around. After Alyssa mentioned the party, Ruthie
had been even worse. Her stomach didn't feel right. However, she
hadn't eaten, she remembered, so that could be it.
"Ruthie!"
Martin yelled, bringing Ruthie out of her thoughts. "Hey, you
ready? I gotta get you home. Zoe and I are heading over to the
Promenade, so I want time to get my car washed."
"Yeah,
okay," Ruthie answered without any emotion. Martin was really
becoming worried about her. He loved Ruthie, and to see her hurt for
whatever reason made him want to just hold her, kiss her...
Why
am I doing this? Martin thought. All these feelings were rushing
through his head, and he couldn't figure them out.
"Martin!
You're the one that said you wanted to drop me off as soon as you
could! I don't have a legal permit yet! I'm not driving home! Let's
go!"
Martin was brought out of his trance, as Ruthie yelled
at him. Why is she so tempermental? Something's wrong with her.
Martin started the engine, ready to leave. He noticed that
again, she looked pale. He found some peanuts in the glove
compartment, and offered them to Ruthie.
"Hey, are you
hungry? I have these in there if you want some."
Suddenly,
Ruthie appeared as though she was going to throw up. Martin quickly
pulled over, and as soon as she got out, she spilled her guts on the
side of the highway.
Martin, now seriously concerned, was all
over Ruthie with questions. "Are you feeling okay? How long have
you been throwing up? Maybe you should stay home tomorrow. I'll just
let your mom know. I'm sure she'd let you stay if she knew you were
feeling as bad as you apparently do. Wait, why are you hiding it?
You're usually the one that fakes sick to get out of school. Why
would you fake healthy?"
"Martin, please, just leave me
alone. I'm fine. I'm going to school. I don't like peanuts, you know
that." By this time, they were in the driveway.
"So
seeing them makes you throw up? Ruthie, you're not making any sense.
Please, just let me know that you're okay. I hate it when you're not
feeling well."
Aw, that's so sweet. God, he's hot when
he's concerned. Wait, stop thinking like this, Ruthie! Stop, stop,
stop!
"I'm fine really." She entered through the
back door, and ran to her room, leaving Martin to deal with her
things in the car.
"I have to be fine. I just have to,"
Ruthie said with tears in her eyes.
"Ruthie! Ruthie, please
open the door! Something's up, and I know it! Open the door, Ruth!"
Martin yelled.
Ruthie sat in her room, listening to Martin bang
on her door, while she sat against it and wept. She herself knew that
something may very well be "up," but she wasn't ready to
admit it to herself, let alone anyone else.
After Ruthie had
somewhat maintained her composure, she noticed that Martin had
stopped knocking. She quietly opened the door, and couldn't see him.
Yes, Martin's behind the door for all of you smart people.
She
headed to the restroom, suddenly feeling sick again. Martin watched
her run for the door, not bothering to shut it. After she had
entered, he walked into her room, quickly searching for any clues.
He found a note lying on her dresser. Martin wasn't one to snoop,
but his curiosity got the better of him. He heard the voices in his
head telling him not to do it, but he did anyway. If it tells me
what's wrong with Ruthie, than I have to read it. I think something's
really wrong with her.
After winning the argument with the
voices in his head, he began to open the note. However, Ruthie
reappeared, and snatched the note from him faster than you can
say...you know the drill.
"Who said you could snoop in
here? I'm fine! Really! I don't need you to act like my father,
because you're not."
"Well, I'm like your brother, so I
suggest you tell me what's wrong with you. It wasn't the peanuts, was
it? Why are you feeling so bad? Why won't you tell me! I wouldn't be
this concerned if you just told me."
Believe me, Martin,
I want to. But I have to see if it's true, first.
"Look,
I'm fine. Please, just leave me alone. I need some time to think."
Martin, with much reluctance, left her room, shutting the door
behind him. Ruthie knew what was wrong. She'd been suspecting it for
a while. Ever since the party, she'd heard that women's intuition
screaming in her head. The phone rang, making her jump.
"Ruthie!"
Annie yelled, apparently home with the twins. Oh great, Ruthie
thought. Now they'll bombard me with questions!
"Ruthie!
Vincent's on the phone! He wants to talk to you!"
Ruthie
picked up the phone. Right now, Vincent was the only good thing going
on in her life.
"Hello? Vincent?"
"Ruthie,
hey. Look, we need to talk."
Ruthie felt a sinking feeling
in her stomach, and knew what was going to happen. She suddenly
couldn't breathe, and felt sick again, only for a different reason.
"Look, Ruthie, I like you a lot. But lately, I've been
hearing some things."
"What kind of things, Vincent?"
Ruthie asked with frustration.
"Well, about that party that
you went to. The one that I couldn't go with you to? Yeah, uh, I
heard you hooked up with somebody else. Is that true?"
Ruthie
instantly felt hot tears welling up in her eyes, and running down her
cheeks. "Which party? Wait, don't answer that. But I need you to
know something. Vincent, I...I'm...I might be..."
"Oh
my god, Ruthie! How could you do this? I trusted you with everything!
I mean, I thought I loved you! How the heck can you do this to me?
You're going to throw it away on some random guy? Ruthie, it's over.
It's over, Ruthie. I can't trust you anymore!"
"Vincent,
no!" Ruthie said with sadness, but was met with a tone at the
other end. She hung up, and instantly began bawling. She couldn't
catch a breath, and her body racked with huge sobs that she couldn't
contain within herself.
"Vincent," she said to herself,
"you were the only thing going well in my life right now. If you
only knew..."