"Labyrinth" and everything connected with it are owned by Jim Henson Productions. Calden is mine, though I have no idea what I'm going todo withhim now that this story is finished. Enjoy!
--CL

A Hostile Takeover

Sarah leaned on her windowsill, thinking of Jareth. She did that a lot, actually. Ever since she'd beaten his labyrinth five years ago, she had wanted to have the chance to talk with him about her experience. The man had never given her a straight answer the whole time she'd known him, and yet her contact with him had clarified things in her mind as nothing else ever had. He had an incisive way with his conversation—he didn't deal with dribs and drabs of talk—with him it was always straight to the "meat" of the matter. No matter that he enchanted the "meat" to look like salad greens or something else completely different, she thought, laughing to herself at the silly analogy. Jareth had spoken in terms of games and riddles, and yet Sarah had returned from her 13-hour visit to his realm feeling as if he had removed a blindfold she'd worn all her life.

"I wish I could have a talk with the Goblin King," Sarah muttered to herself, thinking of it. The wind picked up, and Sarah shivered, wrapping her shawl more closely around here. Time to close the windows.

Suddenly she heard a raucous caw, and a large clack crow landed on her windowsill. There was a swirl of light, and suddenly a tall, black-haired man stood just inside her room. He wore a long black frock-coat and evidently hadn't shaved for several days.

Sarah backed away, jaw hanging. "You're... you're..." she stammered.

He grinned, flashing white teeth through his stubble.

"You're not him," Sarah said flatly, finally getting control of herself. "You're not the goblin king."

He scowled. "I assure you, I am! But you—you're much older than I expected. What am I supposed to do with you? I can't adopt you out, and you're much too old to be turned into a goblin!" Frowning, he tapped his chin. "Maybe the dragons might like you. They haven't eaten distressed damsel in centuries," he muttered.

Sarah drew herself up to her full height and dignity. "I am not distressed, and I was referring to Jareth. You're not him."

He grinned. "And glad of it, too, for he's dead!"

Sarah blanched, and tried desperately not to show it. "He's... dead? How? And who are you?"

"I'm Calden, King of the Goblins. Jareth is dead, and the throne belongs to me now," he announced pompously. He angled his body, and Sarah saw Jareth's pendant glittering on his chest. "At least, I'm assuming he's dead. I dropped him on his head into an oubliette more than a month ago; I would think he'd have starved by now."

Sarah went white, first with a wave of dismayed shock, and then with anger. "Take me there, Calden," she ordered. "If Jareth is dead, I want to see for myself!"

Calden smirked, green eyes flashing. "Why, do'you miss him?"

Sarah, aware she was treading dangerous ground, shook her head. "He kidnapped my baby brother. I don't have many reasons to trust him."

Calden grinned. "Yeah, sounds like him. All right; I'll let you into the labyrinth, but I don't want to hear from you until you find his body. When you're ready to go home, just come find me in the castle and I'll return you (though why you'd want to return to a dump like this I'm sure I don't know). Though if you're interested in staying, I'm sure we could work out some sort of… arrangement." His smoky-green eyes raked her form in a way that left her in no doubt as to his meaning.

"Deal," Sarah said.

Calden snapped his fingers, and suddenly they were standing in the middle of the hedge maze. "I dropped him somewhere in all this green stuff. God only knows where—I can't make head or tail out of this stupid maze. If you find his body, do let me know; otherwise I don't want to hear from you again until you're ready to leave." And he was gone.

"Well, at least I don't have a time limit this time," Sarah told herself. "So if I were a dead goblin king, where would I be?"

The maze hadn't changed much in the last few years since Sarah had run it. She recognized the odd-looking rock in the distance that closely resembled Jareth's face, and smiled as she turned towards it. She didn't know why, but she had a feeling she'd find him in that direction.

Was he really dead? How much power had he lost, for him to have been dropped into an oubliette? Would Calden really let her go home after she found Jareth? Her thoughts spun rapidly through her mind as she threaded her way through the hedge maze.

Eventually she got through it, and into another maze with high stone walls much like at the beginning. She glanced around, and noticed another rock-formation that looked astoundingly like Jareth. When she moved closer she saw it was really several rocks all lined up in such a way as to resemble the Goblin King. She smiled and shook her head, wondering if Jareth had placed them there, or if the maze had done it under its own power. She had long suspected that the labyrinth held some sort of consciousness of its own. As she rounded a corner, she noticed someone over near the far wall.

She'd found him.

Jareth sat, leaning against the stone wall, with his knees bent up in front of him and his head hanging. As he heard her footsteps, he rose gracefully and turned to face her. He wore tattered breeches, his hair was even more matted (was it even possible?) than before, and his face was smudged with grime. The lace from one sleeve was ripped and hanging, and he gazed at her in shock.

"Sarah?" he asked quietly, as if he thought he was dreaming.

Sarah came very close to throwing herself into his arms, but she caught herself at the last moment. She contented herself with a blinding smile and a deep curtsey. "Your Majesty," she greeted in deeply respectful tones.

"What is this?" he sounded annoyed. Sarah had never been one to bow and scrape.

Sarah straightened up, her smile still in place. "I thought it might have been too long since you were called that, Your Majesty."

He scowled. "Ah, so after you defeated me, you thought you'd come and mock me after someone else had the pleasure too. Is that it?"

Sarah shook her head, a quick negation. She approached him slowly, keeping wary thoughts of wounded animals fresh in her mind. "I came to offer you my friendship, if you want it. And if you're interested in, oh, maybe getting your kingdom back, I would be honored to help with that as well. Your Majesty," she finished pointedly.

Jareth was obviously out of practice in hiding his feelings under a mantle of royal manners. He looked utterly bewildered. "But you bested me."

"You haunted me," she confessed, eyes downcast.

Jareth blinked. "You weakened me," he confessed.

"You strengthened me." She still wouldn't meet his gaze.

He paused for a moment before touching her face gently with a gloved finger—the gloves were looking well-worn by now too, she noticed with a wince—and urging her to look him in the face. "I humbled myself for you," he told her quietly.

Sarah looked him straight in the eye, with her head held up, and told him one of the last things he'd ever expected to hear her say. "I missed you."

There was a long pause, so long it seemed the very air held its breath with suspense. Sarah turned red, but still held the intense gray gaze of the Goblin King. Finally, he spoke, one word only: her name, in a half-choked, sibilant hiss.

And now finally, she was in his arms. He held her tightly, buried his face in her hair. Sarah reveled in the long-forgotten scent of him, of gemstones and magic and Jareth, and clung to him almost sobbing with relief.

After a long while, they separated and exchanged heartfelt smiles, and then Jareth picked up Sarah's hand loosely in his and began walking. "I accept," he told her.

All previous conversation had flown from her mind at the first touch of his hand. "You... accept? Accept what?" she asked stupidly.

His eyes twinkled, and Sarah rejoiced to see a little of the old Goblin King's devil-may-care attitude return. "Why, I accept your offers. Both of them. Your friendship and your help getting my kingdom back. I assure you," and now the twinkle was gone from his eyes to be replaced with a spark of determination. "I WILL get my kingdom back!"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"And that's enough of that," he directed. "You'll call me Jareth from now on."

"Gladly," she said. "Unless of course for those times I think you might want reminding that you're a king."

He held his head up proudly and gave her a regal nod. "Jareth it is, then."

She giggled and changed the subject, asking where they were going.

"Back to the beginning."

"The beginning of the labyrinth? Why?"

He smiled faintly. "Because there's a shortcut to the castle back there. You shouldn't have listened to the worm."

Sarah's mouth opened in shock, and she cuffed him lightly on the arm. "You rat!"

He chuckled and tossed a careless arm around her shoulders. "Isn't that what your friend Higgle used to call me?"

"Hoggle. Yes. 'That rat who calls himself Jareth,' I believe it was."

He nodded, still with that tiny smile.

Sarah shook her head and put her arm around his waist as they walked along—it was more comfortable for her, since he still had his arm around her shoulders. He looked pleased by her action, and gave her a real smile.

"All right, so what's the plan?" she asked. "What do we do once we get to the castle?" She frowned. "And how did he ever manage to usurp your throne, anyway?"

"He tricked one of my bodyguards into slipping me a sleeping powder into my wine one night. Told him it was for my own good, that I'd been too involved with affairs of state lately to get enough rest. While I was asleep, he stole my pendant and sent me into an oubliette. My pendant is the key to the king's magic, and without it I'm powerless."

"Then how did you get out of the oubliette?"

He grinned nastily. "I browbeat your little friend Heathrow into lowering a rope." He glanced at Sarah. "He's really not a good choice of friend, you know, Sarah. He's much too easily influenced by others to ever prove truly loyal."

"His name's Hoggle. And I think you underestimate just how intimidating you can be!"

"Am I intimidating?" he asked, looking hurt. "I?"

Sarah nodded.

Jareth dropped his affronted expression. "Good," he said smugly.

Sarah rolled her eyes and said nothing. They walked along in silence for a while, and then Sarah thought of something. "What happens when we get to the castle? He still has your pendant."

"I'll try my best to get it away from him," Jareth said grimly.

"But how, with no magic?"

He lifted one shoulder in an elegant shrug and said nothing. Sarah realized that he didn't actually have a plan, and came up with one of her own.

"He wanted me," she said.

Jareth's arm dropped from her shoulders. "What?"

"He wanted me. Calden. He said if I wanted to stay, we could work out some sort of arrangement, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say-no-more."

Jareth's bewildered expression informed Sarah that he was a stranger to Monty Python. She smiled and went on. "He said to go see him at the castle after I found your lifeless body, and he'd send me home if I still wanted to go. But I got the distinct impression that he wouldn't mind if I stayed on here, with him."

Jareth scowled. "Why are you telling me this?"

Sarah stopped and faced him. "Because! Because all we have to do is get to the castle. I'll tell him I found your body lying next to a wall outside the hedge maze (which I did, but he doesn't know it was still alive!), and then put the moves on him. He'll be distracted by my feminine charms, thinking you're dead, and you'll be able to sneak in and nick the pendant from him then."

"Delightful as your feminine charms are, are you sure you'll be able to keep him distracted long enough for me to get that close?" Jareth asked with a hint of flirtation in his manner.

Sarah lifted her chin proudly. "You've obviously never seen me act. This will be my best performance to date!"

"Brava, then," Jareth said dryly as they turned to continue on. "We shall just have to hope for the best."

They had arrived at the beginning, and stepped through an opening into a seemingly endless corridor. Jareth turned sharply to the right and walked through the wall. It was the hidden doorway. With a wink at Sarah, he grabbed her hand and deliberately turned left in the new corridor. "Never listen to anything with a brain that small," he advised, chuckling at her glare.

They arrived at the castle in less than an hour. "Okay, how do I look?" Sarah asked, a little embarrassed about her plan now that they were here.

"Very beautiful, as always," Jareth promised. "Calden is going to be a very lucky man for a few minutes. I hope he appreciates it!"

Sarah blushed at the praise, and fluffed her hair a little. "Well, here I go," she said. She hesitated a second, and then threw her arms around Jareth. She gave him a brief hug and then stepped back.

Jareth followed her retreat, and drew her back into his arms. "For luck," he said quietly, and kissed her.

It was a brief kiss, a nice kiss, Sarah reflected. She wouldn't mind getting another kiss like that after the usurper had been dethroned. It was a fond kiss, and she wanted to follow it up with another, longer one…

But it was time to go and seduce Calden. Ugh. Letting him even lay a hand on her after Jareth's kiss would not only make her feel dirty, but seem like a betrayal—not only of herself, but of Jareth too. There was no time to make another plan, though, and they were already here.

"If you need me," Jareth offered, his lips a bare inch from hers.

"I'll call," Sarah said. She closed the distance between them and kissed him again before she turned around and walked straight into the castle.

Calden was in the throne room. He sat bolt upright on the weirdly-shaped throne while the little goblins amused themselves pulling the wings off a live chicken. Sarah turned away in distaste, but then remembered the role she had to play.

"Ah, that was quick!" Calden greeted Sarah. "Did you find him, then?" Jareth's pendant sat proudly on his chest.

Sarah nodded, smiling at him. "I found his body lying near the wall outside the hedge maze," she said. "Now my family and I can all breathe free at night, knowing the goblin king is dead."

"Hey, girl, it's only Jareth who's dead! I assure you, the goblin king is very much alive and well!"

"I can see that!" Sarah purred, stepping a little closer. "So… how about our agreement, Your Majesty?" She swallowed the loathing that welled up as she called the usurper by Jareth's title, and gave him a dazzling smile.

He smirked. "Oh, so you want to go home, do you? Or can I persuade you to stay here?"

Sarah took a deep breath and went right up to the throne. "That depends on what arguments you might bring to bear." She let her hand rest on his shoulder, and very casually slid it down to caress his chest.

He sucked in his breath and shut his eyes. "I think I want you on your knees," he murmured.

"Pardon, Your Majesty?" Sarah asked, hoping desperately that he wasn't implying what she thought he was implying.

He blinked his eyes open again and glanced up at her irritably. "Your head is higher than mine is. I think you should kneel before your king," he ordered.

Knowing that she'd never be able to kneel before this false king, Sarah took a chance. "How about an alternative?" she suggested in a throaty voice as she eased her way down onto his lap. She threaded her fingers through his hair and started placing tiny kisses across his forehead and down his stubbly cheek. She wriggled a little on his lap, and saw him start to smirk.

"Yes, I think this might be a viable alternative from time to time," he allowed. He pulled her face down and planted a smacking kiss across her lips.

Sarah hid her revulsion and broke the kiss, straightening up and leaning closer to Calden. She put her arms around him and pulled his head in close to her. This put him at eye-level with her breasts, and she thought cynically that if this didn't distract him, nothing would.

It was working. Calden started kissing her breasts as Sarah stroked his neck and hair. She started to make some sexy moans when she saw Jareth creeping in. She gave him a little nod, and moaned extra-loud for Calden's benefit. "Oh, Calden, that feels SO good! Don't stop!"

"'aw 'e' 'or ma'see," Calden mumbled.

Sarah pretended not to hear. "Pardon?"

Calden lifted his mouth from her breasts and ordered, "Call me Your Majesty."

"Yes, Your Majesty," Sarah said.

She didn't say it quite loud enough, though, to drown out Jareth's quick snort of derisive laughter. Calden's head snapped up and he saw Jareth standing less than two meters from the throne. He formed a crystal and threw it at Jareth, sending the blond man sailing across the room and into the wall. The whole thing took less than a second.

"You said he was dead!" he growled at Sarah, who was still sitting on his lap. He clamped his arms around her so she couldn't stand up easily.

"Well, what can I say? He looked dead enough to me," Sarah protested.

Jareth rose from where he'd fallen, and Calden casually flung another crystal in his direction. "Oh, no you don't!" The crystal hit Jareth and he crumpled to the floor again. The goblins all ran out of the room, screaming.

With Calden distracted by the fleeing goblins, and in the process of hurling another crystal at Jareth, Sarah saw her chance and took it. She grabbed the pendant and, with one motion, lifted it easily over Calden's head and dropped it around her own neck.

Calden finished the throw, but the crystal hit Jareth and burst with as little fanfare as a soap bubble. Calden turned glaring green eyes on Sarah. "What did you do?" he growled.

In response, Sarah slid off his lap and formed a crystal of her own. She threw it at Calden. As it approached him it expanded, and when it reached him it enveloped him completely. Inside the crystal, Calden pounded futilely on the concave walls and shouted at the top of his lungs—but they couldn't hear him.

"Nobody hurts my goblin king!" Sarah told him. Thus reminded of Jareth, she glanced at Jareth and formed another crystal. It was the easiest thing in the world, she realized. It was as though the magical knowledge had always been there in her mind, but the pendant awakened it. This one was a healing crystal, and she tossed it gently at Jareth. He caught it and closed his eyes against the sudden influx of health and vibrancy. He opened his eyes and got to his feet, staring open-mouthed at the pendant around Sarah's neck. Then he noticed his adversary, shouting and foaming soundlessly in the bubble.

"What about him?" Jareth asked her, indicating Calden.

"Thought we could do with some peace and quiet while we figure out what to do with him," Sarah said, satisfied. She looked back at Jareth, who hadn't moved from the corner. "Are you all right?"

He nodded slowly. "I thought the plan was for me to steal the pendant back, not you," he said.

Sarah shrugged. "And that would have worked if you hadn't laughed out loud at him! As it was, I saw the opportunity and took it." She reached up and started to undo the clasp. She hated it when necklaces got caught in her hair.

To her amazement, Jareth came up to her and went to one knee in front of her. He bowed his head. His voice sounded hollow and flat as he said, "Welcome to your new kingdom, Your Majesty."

Sarah frowned. Had he gone off the deep end? "What are you talking about?" she asked. The necklace came free and she handed it to him. "By the way, here's your pendant."

He looked up at her, shock written across his features, and made no move to take it. Sarah, getting impatient, knelt down and fastened it around his neck for him.

"Go to all that trouble to steal the thing back, and now you don't even want it," she muttered. "Okay, so what's with all the kowtowing? Can we please stand up now?"

He rose gracefully, pulling Sarah up with him. "You returned it," he said in wonder.

"Well, yeah, I returned it. What did you think I'd do? It's kinda gaudy for my tastes, no offense. What was I going to do with it?"

"You wore it, and then you returned it," Jareth said.

Sarah passed her hand rapidly in front of Jareth's eyes. "Hello? Anyone in there? Jareth, what's going on? What's the big deal?"

Jareth smiled faintly. "The big deal is that whoever wears this pendant rules the labyrinth. The pendant doesn't allow itself to be worn by just anyone, and it has never been given away before. It usually has to be taken by force, or after the death or the previous ruler."

"So what does that have to do with me?" Sarah asked. Jareth's knowing smile made her nervous. He took a small step closer, to that she could feel the heat of his body through her clothes. That made her nervous, too.

"Sarah, you ruled the labyrinth. You controlled its magic, overthrew its usurper, rescued its former king, and in all ways acted in its best interests. Do you think it's going to let you go now? The fact that you gave the pendant back to me just means that neither one of us has to rule alone."

"Not sure I'm getting you," Sarah said, hopelessly confused.

"You usurped the throne yourself, when you put on the pendant," he stated baldly.

Sarah gasped.

Jareth went on, "The labyrinth allowed you to rule it, though, which makes you its queen. The fact that you then returned the pendant to me re-establishes me as its king—but the thing is, you haven't stopped being queen."

Sarah's jaw dropped. "Oh, damn," she whispered.

Jareth grinned.

"What—what does this mean?"

"It means that, since we're going to be ruling the labyrinth together as king and queen, we should probably get married," Jareth said, adding, "It will be much less scandalous that way."

"M-married?"

"Don't you want to?"

"M-married? You? And me?"

He nodded, lifting a hand to stroke down the side of her face. "Didn't we decide that we're friends?"

She nodded jerkily, eyes wide.

"And didn't you promise that you'd help restore my kingdom to me?"

She nodded again.

"Since you saw fit to don the pendant, part of the restoration is to become queen." He leaned in to kiss her, another soft, gentle kiss. "It won't be so bad, lovely Sarah. I think we'll learn to get along quite well together as husband and wife."

Sarah gasped. She hadn't put it quite into those words yet. She wondered whether Jareth was trying to put something over on her, but then she thought of his defeated posture, kneeling at her feet. Knowing that nothing could make Jareth go to his knees before anyone helped her realize the enormity of the situation.

"So… I have to marry you, and come here and help you rule the labyrinth?" she finally said.

He nodded, not without sympathy. "I realize this is a situation that neither of us had foreseen, and yet," he hesitated, then continued, "Truth be known, I'm not overly disappointed. I have always liked you, Sarah," he admitted. Hardly daring to hope for an affirmative, he took a deep breath and asked, "How do you feel towards me?"

Seeing him nervously awaiting her answer made several things click into place in Sarah's mind. She thought of their conversation of just a few hours ago, the admissions they had made so plainly to each other.

"You bested me," he had said.

"You haunted me."

"You weakened me." An odd admission for a king to make.

"You strengthened me."

"I humbled myself for you."

"I missed you."

"I missed you." "I missed you." "I missed you." The words echoed through her head, and she realized that indeed, thoughts of Jareth had haunted her ever since she had run the labyrinth herself. Strengthened by the lessons she had learned from her experiences, for which he'd been responsible, she had matured quite a bit since then. And she did miss him. Oh, she missed him! A line from a movie ran through her mind, about how often a woman thought of a certain man she'd dealt with in her youth: "At least 30 seconds of every day. He's always with me." Jareth had always been with her.

And now he was with her for real, and had humbled himself again for her sake.

Sarah wasn't going to let him do it again. She had made the commitment, and she would stick to it. And she knew that being Jareth's wife would be the greatest adventure the labyrinth could ever have offered her.

"I have been obsessed with you for years," she told him. "But that was a dream, a memory. Finding you again today made me realize that yes, I do like you. I could even come to love you, I think. I accept your offer of marriage."

The kiss this time was not nearly as "fond" as it was "fiery." Sarah felt like she was diving naked into a pool of raw passion, and realized that she still had some magic roaming around in her senses. She clung to Jareth, devouring his mouth as eagerly as he explored hers.

"Oh, Jareth," she whispered, nearly overcome with sensation as she felt Jareth's magic come and infiltrate her senses just as surely as his mouth was roaming her neck and his hands running up and down her back and pressing her close to him.

She felt, rather than saw him smile. He raised his head. "Call me Your Majesty," he ordered, copying Calden's inflection as he smirked down at her.

"What?" Sarah squealed. She saw his mischievous smirk and scowled playfully. "Jareth, you rat!" she exclaimed, cuffing him on the arm. "Ohh! You're such a rat!" He caught her hand and pressed a kiss to it, then drew her in to kiss her mouth again. Neither one of them paid any attention to the sweaty, panicking ex-ruler trapped in the giant bubble next to the throne.

Calden, having realized that they couldn't hear him no matter how well he could hear them, watched them through the side of his bubble and sighed. As the new king and queen started kissing again, Calden rolled his eyes and gave up his pounding on the wall. He sank to the floor in a cross-legged posture and rested his head in his hands. He might as well make himself comfortable.

He could tell he was going to be here for a while.

END

I also don't own Monty Python or Hannibal Lecter, about whom the "thirty seconds" quote was made. This story was dashed off in about two days. It was a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone: "What would happen if Sarah called to the Goblin King, and it wasn't Jareth who showed up?" So I had to get it out of my system before my brain would let me work on anything else. It's not as polished as my standard fare, but I thought it was kind of cute. Let me know what you all think by clicking on that pretty little blue button below. Thanks!