I hate Monday's, and I am not a morning person. Which brings me to wonder, why'd I even
get out of bed? Oh yes, work. I'm just a pawn of the Fuhrer. He has me on a leash. No, on a choke
collar. And he jerks me around like a dog! I AM NOT A DOG OF THE MILITARY! Oh wait, yes I
am. But, that's completely beside the point I was making a point of. Was that redundant? Quite
possibly, but it's seven o'clock in the morning. I have a RIGHT to be redundant.
Hmm, why's my mirror all fogged up? My shower wasn't even on a hot temperature. In fact,
it was rather cold. So cold that my teeth chattered. So WHY is my mirror fogged! GASP!
Did...did I... BREAK WIND! Holy-! I could've ignited the whole room! Must be more careful Roy.
Alchemists who are as great and powerful as you are must be cautious. Such carelessness could
result in a great calamity.
Now, where's my toothbrush? Must keep my pearly-whites nice and clean. A person seems
less official if they have dirty teeth. But I am fortunate. I have such lovely morning breath, unlike that
fool Armstrong. Nearly knocked me over in the hallway the other morning with his greeting. But, if
one values their life, they don't insult a man as large as Alex. Wordsto live by. I should write those
down. Ah, rinse and spit. Roy, you have the nicest smile in the whole military, you sly devil you.
I really need to iron my clothes more often. But seeing as how I don't have an iron, that
might be difficult. I also wouldn't know how to use one. So this is a moot point. Besides, I wear this
one outfit everyday. Wrinkles are the least of my problems. First one sleeve, then the other. Getting
ready for work is such a laborious bother. Good thing I get paid well. Big office, attractive co-worker,
and the right to boss the Fullmetal pipsqueak around. Yes, my life is good.
Hmm, I guess I don't really have time for breakfast. Don't want to pack on any pounds
anyway. Maybe just some coffee. Black coffee. Strong, black, steamy, delicious coffee. That sounds
good. Aw crud. I didn't go to the store. All right, no coffee. Why does everything go wrong on a
Monday? Well, guess I'm off to work now.
Lock the doors Roy. Wait, where are my car keys? BLAST! I left them inside! I despise
Monday's! Stupid door locks, keeping me out of my own house. It's a conspiracy against freedom!
Keys keys keys. If I were keys, where would I be? In Hawkeye's back pocket! AHA AHAHA!
Ooowee, I crack me up. Now, what was I... KEYS! Found 'em!
Now, after much suffering I can finally depart from my domicile, and partake upon a journey
to my place of employment. AWAY MUSTANG! Oh geez, did I hit something? Hope I didn't dent
my car. Oh well. Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go...
" EDWARD! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT! I can't believe Roy just backed over you!"
With a groan, Ed peeled himself from the pavement. He took Hughes hand and stood
on shaky legs. Al stood nearby, fretting. Ed brushed off his coat and winced.
" I hate Monday's..."
A.N.
Wow. I was so shocked by all of the people saying they wanted another chapter, that it
inspired me to write this one. What do you all think? Should I write more? This story was just
something I wrote when I was feeling particularly insane, and I had only planned on it being one
chapter. But it's back by popular demand. So R&R... please...
MELLY
P.S. This fic is dedicated to Mrs. Wolfstang. You know who you are...
P.P.S. I give 50 bucks to the first person that can guess what my inspitation for this was!