Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Be very happy.

Pairing: Itachi/Sakura. If you squint.

Summary: Itachi doesn't need a reason to discourage Sakura's love for Sasuke. He likes to think there is no reason.

Author's Notes: Crack much?

Useless

By: Hana J.

Itachi saw her clinging to his little brother, her pale hands wrapping around his little brother's forearms. He watched as she spoke again and again, annoyed by her voice that begged for attention. He sneered as she whacked Naruto, the Kyuubi, in the head. She was foolish, just like his little brother.

Sometimes in his moments of lucidity or when he was extremely drunk after trying to out drink Kisame, he wondered if he was attracted to foolish people.

He waited until they split up, Naruto and Sasuke walking together towards their respective homes. Though, if Itachi looked close enough, it was clear that they were throwing punches and discreetly trying to kick the other as they walked. He watched as Kakashi vanished in a puff of smoke, fingers waggling goodbye as he disappeared. And then, Sakura left.

It would be easy to say he took her in a dark alley or covered her mouth so she wouldn't scream. Even easier to say he disguised himself as his little brother to lure her into a false sense of security. But Itachi was not the type of person to disgrace himself with his brother's looks by pretending to be someone weaker. And he had no reason to force her when all he had to do was convince her. Convincing someone wasn't very hard when you had the Sharingan as your ally.

He appeared in front of her, red eyes burning and she stared straight into them fearlessly. Fools have no fear of the things most dangerous to them.

She was swallowed up in a pretend world before she knew anything was amiss. He smiled at her, a look that appeared more like a smirk than a genuine smile but the effort counted and paid off. At first she looked confused.

"Sasuke-kun…?" she asked.

He said nothing in response. He took her hands, making sure to be gentle, and massaged her fingers. She looked confused – adorably so – it reminded him of Sasuke stripped of revenge and hatred.

"Who are—" And then realization dawned. "You're—"

"Uchiha Itachi." He answered her, making sure to keep his voice soft and low.

Now, the fear began to make itself known.

He jerked her forward, wrapping his arms around her waist. An embrace that was both threatening and intimate. "I could have you anytime I wanted."

He could feel her begin to tremble in response. He smiled against her ear. "Thank Sasuke-kun for your uselessness."

He let her go with a gentle push, watching impassively as she fell to the ground. The world around them dissolved and he walked past her as if he was no more than another stranger on the sidewalk.

He wondered when her heart would understand his words.