It had been an extremely busy week in OR. Post Op, the Officers Club, the mess tent, and the Swamp were all full with wounded. Head wounds, belly wounds, fractures, burns, broken fingers, broken toes, broken hearts and broken minds were plentiful. Not to mention 4 doctors, 11 nurses and numerous corpsmen at complete exhaustion from over-work.
Not that Hawkeye minded the Swamp full. In the off hours he either slept alongside a Major, in a Major's tent or slept alone in a Major's tent. The Major didn't mind that either…it gave him an excuse to sleep there and no one would think any less of her; which was an important thing as head nurse…according to Margaret.
"WE NEED MORE GLOVES HERE!" Margaret was one of the only persons still able to yell.
"Margaret…will you keep your voice…down?" Hawkeye was trying hard not to fall asleep. He'd been at the table 61 hours straight and was heading for collapse.
"Only if you stop trying to doze off."
"Major…we're down to the last box m'am" said a wary nurse.
"DAMN!" she cursed. Potter and Charles were both on breaks and so it was up to her to keep everyone in line and the OR running.
"I'm not trying to doze…off" Hawkeye couldn't stop yawning. "I'm trying to stay…awake" he was losing the fight though.
"How many more out there?" Margaret was in a frenzy to sort out the glove issue, she heard Hawkeye but sought that the other was far more important.
"At least 2 dozen" a corpsmen replied whilst carrying a soldier out.
"Someone grab whatever alcohol there is in supply…"
"9 bottles Major"
"Wonderful!" Margaret was becoming annoyed but didn't let it surface. "Then just any alcohol you can find…Swamp, O-Club, Potter's stash – WHEREVER!"
"Yes m'am…and we're running out of room m'am." Another corpsmen said.
"Ah sh…oot" Margaret caught herself before that slipped out. "Uh…" she started, wiping her brow with her arm, "What's left?"
"VIP?" BJ suggested, a little more aware of what was happening after 5 hours sleep. He had remained quiet though…saving all his energy for the long work ahead.
"No that's for quarantine…uh…how much more room have we got?"
"About 4 bed spaces" a nurse replied.
Margaret thought for several moments, "We're gonna have to do triage outside" she muttered shaking her head. "Pre-Op…set up stretchers and any spare cots in there."
"Margaret…" Hawkeye incoherency was increasing and only spoke to stay awake until Potter or Charles arrived back, so he could sleep.
"I heard you Hawk…"
"When's Potter gonna be back?"
"Soon I hope…" Margaret too was beginning to yawn.
"Coming to bed?"
"Not for a while yet…there's too much happening."
"Major it's getting dark outside…"
"Go see if supply has any…ah…just get all the jeeps you can…like Radar did." Margaret's adrenaline levels were decreasing rapidly and she realised she'd be falling asleep on the patient soon if she didn't get some sleep.
"Yes m'am" the corpsman ran out in search of jeeps.
"Coming to bed?"
"You asked that…already," Margaret said yawning, handing him a sponge.
"And?"
"When Potter gets back."
"Dammit…suction. Where the hell's Potter?" Hawkeye was beginning to make mistakes, which obviously wasn't a good sign for anyone.
"I'll go find him" a nurse ran out.
"Hang in there Hawk…not too much longer." BJ said breathing a sigh of reassurance.
"That's what they all say." He replied…eyes half open.
"You want me to close?" Margaret asked him.
"Close?"
"The patient?"
"Oh…uh yeah…thanks. Can't believe I just said that."
"It's because…you're exhausted."
"We're exhausted." Hawkeye put his head back against the wall of OR, closing his eyes for a minute…knowing that he may never open them again, but not caring at this point in time.
Margaret quickly put the finishing bandages on the patient, so they could get on with it. "Next patient," she yelled.
"No need Major – you and Pierce go get some sleep." A bright-eyed Potter returned after sleep to relieve the dead-beat doctor, who had begun to drift off against the wall.
"Hawk…" Margaret said tiredly.
"Where are we going?" he asked confused.
"Bed"
"Not now Margaret…" Hawkeye was half serious in his attempts at humour.
Margaret pulled an arm across her shoulder as she helped him walk out of OR. Carefully the tired pair walked around the 20 or so people working on the 50 or so wounded and slowly they made it to her tent. Once inside, Margaret let go of Hawk and he collapsed onto the cot.
"Wonderful…" Margaret muttered; Hawkeye had taken up the whole bed, lying on his stomach.
"You coming?" he mumbled.
"Only if you…move over" Hawkeye moved an inch or so "That doesn't help" Margaret was agitated…this was no time for jokes. Hawkeye rolled on his side facing Margaret who climbed in beside him, her back against him.
"You did good today…I'm proud of you," Hawkeye mumbled into her ear, planting a kiss on her shoulder. Margaret smiled into the darkness and snuggled closer into him. They were both sound asleep within minutes.
Chaos continued on. With medical personnel catching pockets of sleep every few days and patients transported faster than you can say Uncle Sam.
By the 7th day wounded ceased arriving, which Father Mulcahy pointed out was somewhat amusing that they rested on the 7th. Few agreed…many were far too tired to sleep let alone crack a smile or even laugh.
Potter ordered a 48-hour stand down. With the Swamp still filled with wounded, which would be for at least another 4 days, BJ found a place in one of the enlisted tents whilst Charles opted for supply. Hawkeye of course had no trouble finding a place to sleep. He found a willing bunkmate to share a small, yet private tent. Not that his roommate had declined his request at any point in the recent past.
By the next week things were semi back to normal. The only wounded were in Post Op, BJ and Charles were happily back in the Swamp. Hawkeye was happily in Margaret's tent…but still used the Swamp occasionally (usually when he was in the dog house with Margaret). Everyone was refreshed and ready – as much as Korea would let them be.
All throughout the onslaught, there was just one person who kept people in line and stopping any unnecessary panic within the camp. As always Margaret was determined to keep their 98 and in order for that record to be kept, the camp needed to stay in line and together. Unfortunately few didn't see it that way and those who tried to take on 'The Major', after getting a warning from all four doctors, were mowed down and assigned to what seemed eternal KP…to co-inside with temporary deafness. Hawkeye found it quite amusing how his little 5'6" Major took on men 6'4" and told them where to go and what to do. Not just because of the obvious height difference, but to see them cowering in fear of this woman who had all the power to make their life a living hell. Something he had told Trapper a long time ago was now more than ever truer than before: Margaret Houlihan worked like a trooper, above and beyond the call. Something that she should be rewarded for the only way he would see her pleased about. And apparently he wasn't the only person who saw she should be rewarded.
"And so it is with high recommendation from myself and the Chief Surgeon at MASH 4077th that Major Margaret Houlihan be up for promotion." Potter had just finished reading the last of his letter to HQ, making sure it was all official and such.
Potter stood up and walked into Post Op to see Hawkeye discussing a belly wound victim with Margaret. He was relieved, but not surprised that they were discussing something medical. After the previous week no one was too keen about discussing anything even remotely to do with surgery.
"Okay continue with the IV, let me know if there's any major changes. We'll just have to watch him and hope for the best."
"Yes doctor" Margaret said seriously and wrote on the patient in question's chart.
"Pierce, a word?" Potter asked semi-seriously.
"Honestly dad…it was all medical!" Hawkeye joked.
"Medical in your terms or hers?"
"Mine for a change" Margaret glared at him and moved onto another patient.
"Anything the matter Colonel?" Hawkeye could tell this was going to be a serious 'word'. He followed Potter into his office and sat down on a crate.
"No…nothing bad. I just thought knowing your…current personal status with Margaret, you should know I'm putting her up for promotion…"
"THAT'S GREAT!" Hawkeye smiled brightly. All hostility and hatred towards the army aside, he knew Margaret both deserved and wanted this.
"…AND I'd like a recommendation from you too…as chief surgeon." Potter finished.
"Of course Colonel…where do I sign?"
"Hold your horses son…"
"I'll hold the whole damn farm if you want!"
"Take a step back. If it's approved…"
"WHEN it's approved." Hawkeye corrected him, sure that it would be passed.
"When it's approved, I want this kept secret from her." Potter said clearly and forcefully. "Sure, yes, of course Colonel!" Hawkeye was beaming…he couldn't wait to see the look on her face. "Colonel Houlihan…has a ring to it don't you think?"
Potter chuckled "Sure does."
"How about a toast!" Hawkeye sat up and almost ordered.
"Are you buying?"
"Colonel please…since you brought it up I see it only fair you supply the toast." Hawkeye replied, leaning back.
"As you would." Potter said as he stood up to grab a bottle and 2 glasses from the liquor cabinet.
"Shall you do the honours?" as he handed Hawkeye a glass.
"To Margaret: may she become the Lt Colonel she always dreamed of being, to be a success at everything she does."
"And find true happiness."
"Here, here" the two men clinked glasses and drank.
LATER IN POST OP
"What did the Colonel want?" Margaret asked him, leaning against the post op desk.
"Just checking…after last week…ya know?" Okay so not the greatest lie ever told then.
"You sure that's all?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Nothing…just it seems more than that."
"Why would I lie to you?" Hawkeye became defensive.
"I never said you did!"
"What were you implying?"
"You sounded hesitant when you answered…I'm sorry if I think it seems like you're hiding something."
"Look I'm sorry I overreacted. Can we just forget about it?"
"Fine…" Margaret said firmly.
"If I had something to hide from you…wouldn't it be for your own good?" he asked her, putting his hands on her shoulders.
"I suppose…" Margaret said, reluctantly agreeing.
"And who knows…maybe there's a reward in the end?" Hawkeye joked, kissing the top of her head.
"Uh huh" Margaret rolled her eyes at him and placed the chart back on its hook, as they began to walk out.
"Change of subject: what are you doing tonight?"
"Filling out paperwork."
"But you did that last night!" Hawkeye whined.
"And I'll be doing it tomorrow and the next night too."
"Can't somebody else do it?"
"That's why I'm doing it…I can't help it if I'm 2 nurses down now can I?"
"Well…can't you do it some other time?" Hawkeye was getting annoying. He knew she had to work harder and Margaret was becoming fed-up with it.
"No! Hawkeye please. It's my job so will you let me GET ON WITH IT?"
"Fine…"
"You knew what you were getting into when we started this. Work takes precedence over you. I'm sorry that's just how it is." Margaret said firmly.
"And what if we were back in the states? Then what?"
"HOW SHOULD I…know?" Margaret was trying not to yell…but was failing miserably. "Where are you going?"
"Someplace where there's no noise." Hawkeye walked away from her. A thought suddenly occurred to him 'If Margaret gets promoted…that means more work.' "Wonderful!" he exclaimed.
"Hawkeye…" she called out to him.
He didn't look at her and just kept walking.
"Damn!" she muttered under her breath and went straight to her tent and the mountain of paperwork that anxiously awaited her.
"Colonel
you can't give Margaret a promotion!" Hawkeye stormed into
Potter's office in a rage.
"What?"
"Are you deaf?"
"I heard what you said…but why…you of all people would want this for her…what was it you said just over an hour ago?" Potter questioned him.
"You can't promote her!"
"I got that part…now lets move on to the WHY shall we?"
"…It's bad enough now."
"PIERCE! SIT-DOWN!" Hawkeye complied. "WHY can't I promote Margaret? Who, may I remind you, is your SECOND HALF!"
"I don't see her now as it is…once she's a colonel…" Hawkeye trailed off.
"Is that all?"
"What do you mean is that all?"
"BE THANKFUL YOUR MISSUS IS HERE WITH YOU!"
"I MEAN SHE MAY AS WELL NOT BE!"
"Have you spoken to her about this?"
"Quite frequently…"
"And?"
"And…she says it's her job-but before you say anything I know it's her job."
"Then what's your problem?"
"Its just…AGH…I give up! Promote her if you want…like I care." Hawkeye stood up and went to leave.
"Pierce…what is it?"
"She's taking on too much responsibility and I don't want her too."
"For your sake or Margaret's?"
"What do you mean for my sake or Margaret's?"
"Son, she's been in the army a long time…"
"Since before birth yeah…" Hawkeye scoffed.
"No…I mean actually in…as in joined up with the shiny new badges and such. She's always had a large amount of responsibility to carry with her. Just because you come into her life doesn't mean she's going to drop it all. You know what Margaret's like. She's no stay-home domesticated wife."
"I know that…and I don't want her to be."
"Then stop trying to be her knight in shining armour. She doesn't need rescuing. She's a strong woman who's survived without you for 28 years."
"Yeah…"
"So do I still have your approval to promote her dad?" Potter said smirking.
"Ask me in a few hours…I owe an apology."
"And a promotion doesn't necessarily mean more work for the person being promoted either." Potter muttered to himself, which Hawkeye heard and he smiled as he walked out.
While this was all happening, Margaret was spitting fire. "Why can't he get his head out of the gutter and grow up?" She knew talking to herself wasn't the greatest sign of a sane person…but at the moment she really didn't care. When she called out to him before she was going to say if she had a certain amount done by 10 that night then they could do something. But as usual he was being stubborn, pigheaded and an ass and so wouldn't listen. "Damn you Pierce." Margaret flopped down on her chair, the 6 piles of paperwork mocking her. Seeing as now her incentive to finish wasn't such an incentive anymore, she got straight to filling out the 2 day old reports.
'Someplace where there's no noise.' Margaret played that same line over and over in her head. "Get a hold of yourself Houlihan…it's another Pierce hissy-fit."
So she ignored it and it worked…for the first report.
'I need a break' she laughed at herself…she'd only been there for several minutes and already she was frustrated with it.
Margaret stood up and stretched. Maybe she was just tired? Hell, everyone was tired. She began to walk out to get coffee when Hawkeye burst in.
"Hawkeye…" "Margaret…" they both said at the same time.
"I'm sorry about before…I didn't mean it all." He spat out quickly.
"Me too…I shouldn't have yelled at you." She retaliated.
"It's just I haven't seen you properly in ages…you're always working."
"I know."
"Come here…"
The two embraced in a warm, much needed hug.
"God I miss this." He breathed.
"Me too. You wanna know something?" she asked him.
"Yeah?"
"I couldn't work now even if you paid me."
"I like your style of thinking!"
"Only if you help me with them later…"
"Great…" Looking down at her he rephrased. "Screw it…this is worth it."
"I thought it would be…" she replied with a grin.
LATER THAT EVENING"I gotta do something…" Hawkeye said getting up to leave.
"But you said you'd help me with all this!" Margaret protested.
"I will, I will…I'll be back later."
"Yeah, yeah."
Hawkeye headed to Potter's office, hoping he'd be there. He had his answer now and wanted to get things done quickly before Margaret would start to suspect more than she already did.
"Pierce…everything sorted?" Potter asked, knowing the answer.
"MORE than sorted." Hawkeye was grinning like an idiot.
"Please, I don't want the details…" Potter protested.
"You wanted a recommendation?"
"If you could."
"How long do think it'll take?"
"Normally a month or so. With you on the end – probably a week."
"That soon?"
"It all depends on you Pierce." Potter said, he was subtly egging Hawkeye on. And he fell for it. Big time.
"You got a pen?" Hawkeye asked, a look of almost desperation in his eyes.
Potter chuckled and handed him what he needed and Hawkeye began writing furiously.
"Now son it's just a commendation not a college essay." Potter watched cautiously as he wrote.
"I know" Hawkeye replied not looking up from what he was writing.
"You've thought about what you're gonna say?"
"Yeah," was his simple reply.
"Just tell me when you finish."
"Will do." Hawkeye kept up the frantic pace.
Potter stood up and walked out…Sophie was due for feeding anyway.
30 minutes later Hawkeye was just finishing the last few sentences. He had practically said every little thing that had happened in the past 2 years – only the good of course – read over it, realised the clowns at HQ probably wouldn't appreciate a 5-page commendation to anything under a general. "Ah screw them!" he said out loud, folding it up and walking out.
TWO WEEKS LATER-
Att: Pierce…my office…PRONTO!
Hawkeye and was sitting in Margaret's tent, losing the current game of poker. Badly.
"What have you done now?" Margaret asked smirking.
"How should I know?" Hawkeye shrugged his shoulders and walked out.
"What'd you do Hawk?" asked BJ as he headed to Potter's office.
"Why does everyone assume I've done something?"
"Because you're Hawkeye Pierce"
Hawkeye mumbled something, BJ laughed and he continued on his way.
"I didn't do ANYTHING!" Hawkeye exclaimed as he walked into Potter's office.
"Don't worry Pierce, you're not in any trouble, for once."
"Then what's up?"
"Promotion list came through."
Hawkeye jumped up like a dog who was about to be fed.
"AND!"
"Take a look for yourself."
"121st…8063rd…where is it…ah 4077th…" Hawkeye was nervous…why didn't Potter just tell him? "SHE GOT IT!" He shouted.
"Shhh…no one else knows about it yet."
"Colonel there's a time to keep quiet and a time for celebration!" Hawkeye exclaimed.
"Read what's next to her name."
"What? Because of outstanding work, a promotion ceremony shall take place on the 3rd of September 1952 at 1400 hours, MASH 4077th – General Clarke attending. Clarke's gonna award it?"
"Afraid so Pierce." Potter said, knowing Hawkeye's view on brass.
"No, this is great, Margaret'll flip!" he wasn't thinking about himself for once.
Since getting together, Hawkeye almost always put Margaret's needs and wants before his own. Being awarded a promotion by a top general would be the highest honour that Margaret could ever get. And of course would earn him brownie points for the future…not to mention extra night-time activities…but that was an added bonus to having a happy head nurse around.
"You wanna break the news to her or shall I?"
"I'll do it…Just to see the look on her face!"
"Right," Potter said with a chuckle.
"Is the list up yet?"
"No, I thought I'd let you know beforehand. If you were just wondering, it'll be up in a few minutes."
"Thanks" Hawkeye rushed out and back to Margaret's tent.
"What did you do?" she asked not looking up from writing.
"Absolutely nothing." Hawkeye replied as he kissed her on the head. "What are you doing?"
"Take a guess…" Margaret said sarcastically.
"Well how about a break?" he asked.
"I just got started!" Margaret said defensively. She feared another fight about her work, something she didn't want to start.
"No, nothing like that Margaret…honestly. I just wanted to go for a walk."
"A walk?" asked a bemused Margaret.
"Yeah a…walk. Why? What's so funny?"
"Nothing…this is just…out of the ordinary."
"What out of the ordinary? Couples do it all the time together." Hawkeye for once was being serious.
"Out of the ordinary for us. We're not like most couples Hawk."
"So? Are you saying you want to be like most couples?" Hawkeye asked.
"No…if I did then I'd still be married. No need to get defensive about it."
"I wasn't. I don't see the joke in it. For once I'm serious…"
"Just a walk?" she asked.
"Just a walk…and if something else arises, then we'll deal with it when we come to it."
"What makes you think something will arise?"
"Nothing! Why do you always have to second guess me?" Hawkeye was trying to lure her outside, and she wasn't going.
"Because you're Hawkeye Pierce. Is something wrong?"
Att: all personnel. Get the latest news from the bulletin board. Don't be the last to hear about it!
"No everything's fine. Please, just a walk…a short one even. The world's shortest walk!"
"Okay, a walk."
"Good, and while we walk, we talk!"
"Anything in particular?"
"What we were before Potter called me."
"Uh huh…" Margaret said trying not to smile as they walked out.
"You better not be proposing anything in public." She joked.
"Me? Nah! I was saving that for New Years! But shhh, don't tell my girlfriend, it's a surprise!"
"Good one Pierce." she retorted, hitting him with each word said. "So where to walk first?"
"How about the bulletin board?"
"The bulletin board?"
"Why not? Naturally go there first to get all the news over with, then keep on walking to clear your head of it."
"Naturally." Margaret replied sarcastically.
"Hey Klinger what's new?"
"McClouster's willing to pay five hundred bucks for a wife." Klinger said enthusiastically.
"Well you're half way there Klinger."
"Me? A wife? Not until at least the 3rd date sir!"
"Anything else?" asked Margaret.
"Promotion list." Klinger replied, walking away to deliver the few letters that had arrived.
"Wonder whose up this time round?" Margaret commented, seriously curious.
"Yeah…" Hawkeye said trying to hide a grin.
"Oh poor Harrison's been let down again." Margaret said sarcastically about the 8063's current head nurse and sworn enemy as she looking down the list. "I wonder why." She added giving Hawkeye a 'No duh!' expression.
"Probably been sticking needles in eyes again." Hawkeye joked.
"Probab…" Margaret stopped.
"Anyone lucky enough here?" Hawkeye said failing to hide a smile. "Margaret?"
"It can't…be." She barely whispered.
"Margaret…are you okay?"
"Hawkeye does that say what I think it says?" Margaret asked anxiously and quickly.
"Major Houlihan, Margaret J to Lieutenant Colonel and beside it: Because of outstanding work, a promotion ceremony shall take place on September the 3rd 1952 at 1400 hours, MASH 4077th – General Clarke attending. That?" He asked, looking at Margaret, smiling, not bothering to read the notice.
"YES THAT! Do you know what this means?" she asked, dumbfounded.
"You'll be trading gold for silver September 3rd?"
"Ohhh My God!" Margaret said, Hawkeye holding her up. "Me…Margaret Houlihan…A…Colonel?"
"That's what it says!"
"I got promoted…I GOT PROMOTED!" Margaret screamed in delight. Hawkeye picked up and swung her around.
Margaret was in tears when he stopped. "I can't believe it! I'm going to be a colonel!"
"Uh huh" Hawkeye said, still with the stupid grin on his face.
"You knew about this…didn't you?" she questioned him, still glowing with happiness.
"I sorta…wrote a little something."
"You?"
"No actually it was Colonel Potter's idea…I just agreed and wrote a little something…as I said."
"You did this for me?" Margaret asked, tears in her eyes.
"No I did it for Pavlov's dogs…yes of course I did it for you. And you deserve every bit of it."
Margaret pulled his head in for a kiss, something they rarely did in public. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he did her waist. Lifting her up he broke the kiss and the pair started to laugh. Margaret wrapped her legs around his waist to support herself.
"I can't believe it…"
"Believe it baby, because it's REAL!" Hawkeye said grinning, still holding Margaret.
"I got promoted…" she whispered more to herself than to him.
"I GOT PROMOTED!" Margaret yelled. True this wasn't exactly the most military thing in the history of…the military. But right now she didn't care. It was her moment and she was going to take it.
The pair were still laughing. Margaret was the happiest she'd been in ages…probably one of the only few times Hawkeye had seen her truly happy.
People were starting to look at the commotion. When they saw it was a certain two people, none thought too much of it. When they heard the words 'promotion', they looked again. There they saw the pair laughing and celebrating and Margaret with tears of joy on her face.
"Hey what's all the joy about?" asked BJ walking up to the 2.
"You tell him or should I?" he asked her.
"You do it."
"Guess who got promoted?" he asked with his familiar devilish smile on his face.
"Really?" Margaret nodded "Congratulations Margaret!" he said giving her a bear hug.
"Thanks BJ." She said smiling.
"You know what we gotta do know?" Hawkeye asked.
"Celebrate!" BJ replied.
"O-Club this-a-way!" Hawkeye said grinning putting an arm round Margaret's shoulder as the 3 walked over to start their 3 bottles of scotch celebration.
- SEPTEMBER 3RD 0700 HOURS-
Margaret was pacing her tent. She had been up since 5am and was extremely nervous about that afternoon. Unfortunately she had also woken Hawkeye who had only just got off Post Op at midnight and he did not appreciate the early morning wake up.
"Mfph!" Hawkeye was mumbling in his restless sleep. He had managed to get back to sleep after half an hour or so but could never sleep soundly whilst someone was watching. "Go to sleep Margaret." He finally said.
"How can I?"
"Easy…lie down and close your eyes." He said rubbing his temples.
"You know what I mean." She said snapping at him.
"Margaret…you're not the first person in the world to get a promotion…STOP STRESSING WILL YA? It'll be fine." He snapped back.
"I'm just so nervous." She said, ringing her hands together.
Hawkeye bolted up still half asleep, "If you don't calm down I'm gonna prescribe you something." He said firmly, lying back down. "What have you got to be nervous about? You stand up, get your clusters removed, new ones added and you sit back down…kinda like changing your car tyre." He said with a yawn.
"It's not that simple…" she began.
"Yes it is…you're making a big deal out of something small." Hawkeye exclaimed.
"You know how important this is to me!" She demanded.
"I didn't mean it like that." He started.
"Then how did you mean it?" she asked defensively
"Will you let me finish?" He asked, annoyed. "I get how important this is for you…what I'm saying is stressing over how you look for the brass is making a big deal out of nothing. They're brass…who cares what they think?"
"Me for one thing…you may not give a damn what the hell you look like…but for me it's important, don't you understand that?" she was aggravated…and he knew it.
"Yes, this is important for you, yes it's an honour and all that, but the ceremony's only today…your promotion stays your whole life. Stop stressing or you'll give yourself an ulcer."
"I'm going for a walk." She claimed.
"Good…it'll give me a chance to sleep." He murmured.
"You don't like it here…go back to the Swamp." She replied, walking out.
"Great…hurricane Houlihan's in town." Hawkeye muttered before rolling over and falling back to sleep.
"I'm sick of him and all the crap he throws at me."
Margaret was quite pissed off with Hawkeye. Lately their differences in personalities were clashing at least twice a day and neither could stand to be around the other when that happened.
This particular occurrence, Margaret was venting and bitching to Potter, who was becoming tired of being the middleman between the two. He knew that if they didn't talk and fix up what shreds their relationship was in soon, they were headed for a major and messy break up. But because it was Margaret who was talking and the fact it was too early for arguing, he let her speak.
"He's just so two faced. He did everything in his power to get me this promotion and now he doesn't give a damn about it. Why can't he think of anybody else but himself and his ego for a change?"
"Well…"
"How does he expect our relationship to work if he keeps doing things like this? I don't get why he has to be such an idiot!" she finished, slamming her hand down on Potter's desk.
"Before you start destroying my office, might I give you a little fatherly advice?" Potter didn't wait to hear her reply, instead he continued with what he wanted to say.
"You're both at fault here, not just him."
"What?"
"Remember you two are very different people. That alone makes for a difficult relationship, not to mention you're both as stubborn as mules. If you two don't sit down and talk it out, you're going to end up no where."
"Don't you think I know that already?"
"That's only part of the problem. The other part, you must remember that Pierce is not regular army. Him putting you up for promotion goes against everything in his nature. Hawkeye doing this for you, shows how dedicated he his to you, and is the only current reason I see why you two are still together; he is showing true love for you. I may be stepping out of line on this point, but it might make things better if you show him the same. As much as we men don't show it, we need to feel loved too."
Potter paused before finishing.
"Then again he's gotta play nice to the brass this afternoon. You can't change people Margaret…just as he will never try to take the army out of you, don't force the army into him."
Margaret had sat and listened to Potter, taking in all he said. She knew he was right…but wouldn't admit it to him.
"Thank you Colonel, you've given me something to think about." She said before standing up and leaving his office.
Potter smirked and said to himself 'they'll be fine.'
Margaret did not go speak to Hawkeye. She knew Potter was exactly right but wasn't ready to face up to it. She was still madder than hell and a punch up on the day of her promotion would not look good. She wasn't as mad at Hawkeye as she was with herself. Her defences were down and had been for quite sometime. She didn't mind the fact that Hawkeye could read her, she found they got along better that he did. But it was the fact that everyone else in camp was analysing her and correctly knowing her thoughts and actions. Deep down she would have to get over it, but facing people at the present, she could not cope without flying off the handle at whoever was convenient. The only place nobody was around at 7 in the morning was supply. Stock take was due that afternoon anyway so she planned for the next few hours to count, write and think. Safe for everyone.
Hawkeye slumbered on til eleven thirty and stumbled into the mess tent, ready for breakfast, or lunch, or whatever colour scunge they were serving that day. The tent was empty barring Igor behind the trays reading something definitely not PG rated and Charles sipping coffee and reading a newspaper, looking bored.
Grabbing coffee and toast, he sat down next to the older man. Charles looked up at him, "Pierce…something I can do for you?"
'Boy he must be bored' Hawkeye concluded. "No, just wanted to be around a friendly face for a change."
Charles looked at him confused for a moment before relaxing with what appeared to be realisation. With nothing else to do and Hawkeye in a reasonably…non-Hawkeye like persona, he spoke up. "Trouble in paradise Pierce?"
"You could say that" Hawkeye cringed after taking a sip of coffee before leaning back and rubbing his eyes. "I don't know what's happening to us, as cliché as it sounds…everything's falling apart. I just don't see why we're still together. We're too different."
Stunned at his rather blatant confession, to him of all people, he pressed on and did the only thing possible: say exactly what he thought. "Pierce, if I may tell you a few observations."
"Sure" he was up for anything.
"Firstly, do you love her?"
"I know you went to Harvard so you must know that's not an observation."
"Pierce…I'm trying to help here."
"Of course, sure I do. But love doesn't solve everything."
"Have you told her that?"
"Numerous times. When did a few observations turn into 20 questions anyway?"
Charles ignored him and continued. "Has she ever told you?"
"That she loves me?" he asked, Charles nodded "Yes, now what are you getting at."
"Is that the only reason why you put her up for promotion?"
Hawkeye was becoming agitated. "No! She worked hard and deserved it. The fact of love comes in after that."
"Maybe Pierce…she wanted you to put her up because you love her? She's a smart woman, she knows she's worked hard and deserves it…if I know anything of Margaret…work she can do…but feel companionship from others is another matter entirely."
"You know what…and I can't believe I'm admitting this" Hawkeye began not looking directly at Charles before finishing "You're absolutely right."
"Why thank you, but that's not all Pierce."
"Oh?"
"This afternoon when the general arrives be nice. For her sake."
"I'm always nice!" Hawkeye mockingly protested.
"Of course you are" Charles chuckled.
"Anything else dad?"
"Well…now that you mention it; on the other hand, don't let her turn you army."
"That was never an option."
"You will both have fights, probably bigger than this…but you'll get through them. One last thing Pierce…and if you mention it to anyone you're in for it…you two are meant to be…so go gett'er!"
Hawkeye smiled before standing up "Thanks Charles." And walking out.
Around 11:30 Margaret emerged from supply and spent the next hour ordering the mess tent and the office to be cleaner then Macarthur's sunglasses. She was in total Adolf Houlihan mode, everything had to be perfect. Perfect so she could prove to Hawkeye that she was worth it.
Hawkeye on the other hand was sitting around the Swamp, drinking and thinking as he often did. He knew he had to speak to her, hopefully before 2 o'clock. But if he didn't get the chance…he knew what to do.
By 12:30, the camp was spotless…as spotless as South Korean would let it be. Margaret was satisfied that things were passable for the general, but once realised the time, raced off to shower and change.
Hawkeye found nothing to do and finding that nothing was needed nor asked of him and this, he had a nap, which quickly turned into a deep sleep.
The ceremony was a 2:00, the general and co. expected at 1:45. Margaret was ready by 1:15 and paced her tent, deliberating whether to talk to Hawkeye now, with such little time, or afterwards. She was hoping there was an afterwards to look forward to at this stage. After a few minutes she walked out, giving the camp the once over and the people in it. By that time the general's jeep was just within sight of the camp.
Meanwhile Hawkeye was unsuccessfully trying to be woken up by BJ, fully dressed in class A's, who was only out to save his friend's ass, and relationship.
"Go away"
"Hawk…"
"Go away!"
"Hawk…it's 10 to 2. GET UP!"
"Ceremony's not til 2…" he mumbled.
"Which it will be in…9 minutes," looking at his watch.
Hawkeye opened his eyes and looked up at him.
"And I repeat…It will be 2 o'clock in 9 minutes."
"OH SHIT!" Hawkeye jumped up and hit his head on the light. "Goddammit!"
"Clothes?" BJ handed the hanger to him.
"Why didn't you wake me up before?" he asked, rubbing the back of his head.
"I've been trying for the past 10 minutes. You really have to start coming home on nights."
"Yeah, yeah." He was throwing off and putting on various articles of clothing. "Margaret ticked off?"
"You could say that. But I'd go for something stronger."
"Pissed?"
"Getting there."
"Christ. What the hell is with this tie?" he was frantically trying to do it up.
"Come here." BJ twirled him around and smacked his hand out of the way. "Getting worked up won't do any good."
"Yes dear." He mocked.
"Sarcasm won't either."
"After sarcasm what are you left with?"
"Raw emotions"
"And one pissed off soon-to-be lieutenant colonel." Hawk finished, rapidly tying his shoes. "How'd I look?"
"If I were a head nurse I'd sleep with you." BJ said with a smirk.
"I'll remember to thank God everyday you're not."
BJ laughed as he finished combing his hair. The two ran out to see people were just beginning to arrive.
Att: all personnel to the compound. Immediately. Potter yelled over the PA before rushing out himself.Within the minute, everyone was lined up. The 5 officers up front, the nurses behind, enlisted following, with the general, his aide, and Potter in front.
For the next 20 minutes, the general rattled on about leadership, discipline, the military and flagpole. Margaret, his libido and his saving his ass were the only things keeping him from faking a fainting spell. He looked down the line: Margaret, Charles, Mulcahy and next to him BJ. She'd made sure she was as far away from him as possible. Knowing he had to do something to cheer her up (for she didn't look at all enthused) he quickly scribbled a few words and whispered in BJ's ear "Pass this down to Margaret," not caring how high school it sounded. BJ just looked at him, but said nothing. Instead he took the slip of paper and handed it to Mulcahy, who in turn paused, then handed it to Charles. Not wanting to make a scene, Charles took it and quickly passed it onto Margaret, who kept her cool and didn't make a deal out of it. Looking down she read it and grinned. Hawkeye kept his eyes front and smiled; satisfied. A minute later he swore he would gladly give up a kidney if the general would shut up or blow up. For both his sake and the general's, the speech ended a few minutes later – the mention of Margaret's promotion mentioned only in the last 2 minutes. Stepping forward in front of Margaret, he removed the gold oak leaves that Margaret had called her own for 5 years, reached into a small box and replaced them with brand new, shiny silver clusters. Stepping back they saluted each other and the general returned to his spot. Potter stepped forward to speak.
"I was going to say something as CO…but I think, given the circumstances, that the honour be passed on to someone more fitting. Pierce." He motioned for him to step forward. Margaret looked a little panicked, a little worried, and prayed that he wouldn't make a joke about the general's…rather misplaced toupee.
The crowd clapped and cheered as Hawkeye waved and took the stand in his normal fashion. The general's look did not go unnoticed by the camp as they quickly shut up.
"I really didn't have anything planned for this, so bear with me. And I promise to keep it short otherwise I'll buy the first round of drinks." A few chuckles from the crowd and he began.
"Margaret Houlihan. What could a person say about her? Aside from my…rather personal view (and that strategically placed birthmark…which if I tell you about, I'm in serious trouble)" Margaret glared at him "…people could say a fair few things about her. She's gorgeous: a blind man can't argue that, a good…no…great leader, intelligent," She smiled a little. "…kind – to a selected few yes…but kind all the same, a smart wit about her – how else can she fight off the Marines at the officers club? Loyalty, obedience, which proves handy at times, but I can't tell you that either" She turned red with both embarrassment and anger as a few shocked and bemused faces came over the crowd. "…Discipline – DEFINITELY discipline. Then there are those who would say she's strict – which true…she can be, mean, nasty, frightening, STILL gorgeous…but deadly. Above all we all can agree that she's dedicated to her work. Compared to her, I've seen lazier ants before a rainstorm." Margaret didn't look too thrilled. Was he out there just to make her look like an idiot? "But there's a few sides of Margaret that none of you get to see. There's her patience. Anyone who can put up with us has to have a helluva lot of patience. Right Colonel?" Potter nodded, the camp chuckled at his response. "There's her caring nature. Sitting in Post Op late at night, listening to a patient talk about his hometown, his family for an hour or more. And as most of you wouldn't know – and she'll kill me for telling you this – when she asks around the doctors, or Father Mulcahy if there are any problems with her nurses. I mentioned her dedication, but there are few people who'll work 55 hours non-stop, without a break, and put others before them." He paused to see her blink away tears. "There's her sense of humour that many of you haven't seen. The most stupid practical jokes you can think of, and she's the one who will get a laugh for doing them. She's also not afraid to kick you in the…rear when you need it. Subtly was never your thing Margaret." He grinned at her, Margaret smiling back. "And there's her smile. How she lights up a room when, on the occasion, she does." He stopped to take stock of what he said before adding, "There are many more things I could say about her, 99 percent of which if aired in public she'd kick me for." Many chuckles from the crowd. "The last thing I can legally say, is about her love. Her love for her work, her friends, the people she works with even though she won't admit it. Her love for me which let's face it, what's not to love?" the camp laughed in reply, Margaret rolled her eyes and bit her lip, suppressing a laugh. "And for whoever is unfortunate enough to pass through here…even if its just reassurance." He smiled again at her. "I promised to keep it short…and in the relativity of time 5 minutes is nothing. I should say this when there aren't so many people around, but now's a good of time as any. Margaret: when Colonel Potter told me of his plan I at first agreed, then took it back. One of the stupid fights we'd had over nothing. Then taking a few words of advice from various people I changed it back. The reason being, I thought I wrote that recommendation because you work hard and deserve it. I know it, you know it and everyone knows the work you do to make this place run. But thinking about it later on, I knew that wasn't the reason." Looking directly at her he continued. "The reason I put you up for this promotion, Margaret, I knew how much this would mean to you, and I want you to have everything because I love you. Despite all our stupid arguments over white versus wheat bread and if ketchup is a vegetable or not, I really do." By this time Margaret was letting the tears flow freely down her face, it taking all her willpower not to run up and kiss him on the spot. "I think it's well past the time to break out the popcorn so I'll finish up by saying congratulations Margaret…it couldn't have happened to a more favourite officer in the whole US army." He finished up with two things he had said to her, long ago, coming home from and aid station.
With many 'here here's' and clapping and cheering, Hawkeye walked up to her and asked "Am I forgiven?"
Margaret bit her lip and nodded, trying (and failing) to hold back tears.
Hawkeye held her to him tight, trying not to laugh as she said "I will get you back for this Pierce, you stupid SOB."
"Ah, you know you love me!" he responded, lifting her chin up in a fiery kiss, giving into the many "Go on…do it!"'s that everyone was egging on, and cheers as it happened.
"I wonder what the general's thinking?" she said slyly, both unaware and not caring that he had left, in rather a huff at being upstaged by a mere captain.
"Fuck him" Hawkeye grinned down at her.
"I'd much…rather…you." She grinned back at him.
"Who wouldn't?" he joked as the pair giggled.
"Drinks at the O-Club everybody!" BJ and Potter called out as the majority of the crowd headed towards the tin shack that was Ouijionbou's answer to a country club.
"So Colonel what does it feel like?" he asked her, arm around her shoulders as they walked behind the group.
"Feels shinier."
The both laughed as they continued to walk.
"You don't feel too dominated now your girlfriend's two ranks higher than you?"
"Not really…as long as I stay dominant over you in bed."
"Oooh, my favourite position!" she exclaimed.
"Mine too" he agreed. "But you can dominate me in every other aspect of our lives."
"I can agree to that Captain. No lawyers necessary." She promised him with a smirk.
"If you say so Colonel."
"That's Lieutenant Colonel…"
"But you've gotta admit…half a bird is better than none, right Mags?"
"Right Hawk" and the pair kissed again before entering their 'club'.