Title: What's Love?
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my computer (which I must share with my brother groan) the clothes on my person and my sanity. Sometimes not even that... Square owns all characters, places, objects y'da y'da y'da...
Warning: Shounen-ai. Cloud x Zack.
Summary: We all remember our High School crush. We all go through it. So why shouldn't Cloud...?
Mathematics. Why do some people have to be so cruel and put mathematics on the timetable first thing on a Monday morning? I never liked maths. It's not the work itself; I'm actually quite good at that. But the teacher's high-pitched whine that she likes to call a "voice" sets my teeth on edge. And though I'm good at the work, she teaches it by using that same repetitiveness that isn't comforting at all! Besides, it was a long growing tradition and everyone knows that I, Cloud Strife, will always be late for school on a Monday morning. My alarm clock will ring at six O'clock in the morning. Six O'clock! I have to get up and move around (move! Can you believe that? Move!) At six O'clock when the only habitable place I can think of at that time is a nice, cosy, comfy bed. Heck, a not so nice, not so cosy, not so comfy bed would do!
Every other day is fine. I figure that if I have a routine, it would be easier for me to handle. Alarm rings; get out of bed; have shower; gel hair; get dressed; eat breakfast; clean teeth; pack school bag; leave. A simple routine to follow every morning.
I soon learned that Monday mornings never play by the rules.
Mondays have a different routine. Alarm rings; slam snooze button; burry face back into pillow. Alarm rings again; slam snooze button again; burry face back into pillow. Alarm rings again; sit up; grab the offensive clock; throw half way across the room; burry face back into pillow; wait for mother to get me up and shout at me for breaking yet another clock. By this time it's half past seven and I have to leave the house at eight, so I grab a piece of toast and stuff it down my gullet as I leave the house half way into my trousers, a third into my shirt, my tie not done up properly and my bag lighter than usual because I've forgotten over half of my things.
So now I'm sitting in class tapping my pencil against my cheek as I watch the second hand on the clock drag by. (Well, it's actually Vincent's pencil, since I forgot mine.) My jotter is open at the correct place and the teacher is ranting on about something to do with the basic rule of indices. But here I am with no textbook, no ruler, no eraser, no protractor, and no clue of what I'm doing. So I stare at the wall and wonder how long this torture will last.
"CLOUD STRIFE! PAY ATTENTION!" screeches the teacher as she slaps a wooden ruler on my desk. Causing me to jump half a mile out of my seat.
"Sorry Ma'am." I mumble as I reason to myself that it would be safer to look at my jotter whilst day dreaming instead of the wall.
"Busted." Vincent's voice hisses in my ear.
"THAT GOES THE SAME FOR YOU VINCENT VALENTINE!"
I couldn't help but smile I thought of hissing "Busted." in my friend's ear.
The class dragged on as I paid little (more like no) attention. The bell rings and, to me at least, it sounds like a choir of angels proclaiming the end of something dreadful. Which wouldn't be far off, seeing as maths is a torture so inhumane that even demons would cry with pity. So I almost run out of the classroom and, trust my luck, bump straight into Yuffie.
"Cloud!" She cries happily, her eyes glittering as she looks up at me. Oh great...
She hitches herself onto my arm. I'm sure that if I held it up I would have lifted her off the floor. Not that I have some sort strength in any shape or form, more like the fact that her grip is so tight nearly it nearly cuts off my circulation.
"Did you get my letter? I left it in your locker." She asked with a wink.
"Yes." I replied, trying my hardest to shake her off. All five of them.
"So... So, You wanna go on a date?" she asks, tugging my arm.
I couldn't just blurt out "No." I may not like being the object of her affections (more like obsession), but I'm not unkind.
But what am I going to say to her? This is just great.
"Hey! Wait up Cloud!"
Ah! Finally! You can have no idea how glad I am to see Vincent. And my opinion of him increases as he pries Yuffie off of my arm and began pushing me in the direction of my next class. Which, thankfully, was on the opposite side of the school from Yuffie's.
"Vincent, you're a God send!" I cry.
Vincent just gave me a slight grin, flicked his hair out of his eyes, and we walk on.
"Hey! Wait for me guys!"
I cringe at first, thinking it was Yuffie. But when I turn I let out a sigh of relief. Tifa.
"I thought I told you guy's to wait for me!" Tifa chides but laughs. Tifa's got the nicest laugh. Well, I think so anyway. Not in a sense that it's pleasant to listen to, more that it's incredibly infectious and anyone who hears it just bursts into stream upon stream of laughter. Vincent and I call it "Tifa Syndrome".
"Chemistry?" Vincent asks her, though it takes a while to answer since she's glaring evilly at the Turks, ahem, Prefects.
"Oh? What?"
Vincent laughs, "Chemistry next?"
"Yeah." she groans.
"At least you've got friends in your class!" I cry.
"It's not our fault that you're a swot and we're not!" Tifa retorts but laughs at the same time.
We eventually reach our classes (across the corridor from on another.) Tifa and Vincent entered theirs and were greeted warmly by their teacher, Professor Ghast. My class is extremely lucky for Professor Hojo to be there when we enter, and luckier still to get a greeting of any sort if by some wild stroke of luck that he is.
I enter and, shock! Feint at the infrequently of it all! Hojo is there before us!
I take my seat at my lonely desk and pull out my folder and textbook. (Yes, I actually remembered to pack my chemistry stuff. Not much else though...) I try to block out the laughter coming from the "popular" people's corner that is so obviously directed at me. I could just here Sephiroth's voice among them, mocking my hair, or something like that.
"All right class! Settle down!" Hojo drawls in that annoyingly dead monotone as he begins to walk in that stupid chicken-like gait towards the white bored, marker pen gripped in one of the hands clasped behind his back.
Just as he had drawn his breath to talk, there was a knock on the door. I can't help but laugh inwardly at the frown on his face! Hojo just can't do angry.
I can hear the voice as he speaks to the intruder, though I can't see him because of my position. Well, I assume it's a him because of the name.
"Hi!" he says, "I'm Zackary Roughknight, I just transferred here. Umm... Is this Professor Hojo's class?"
I can see Hojo nod slightly, then step aside to let him in.
Definitely a he. Quite a large he. Not gigantic, but bigger than me.
"Everyone, This is Zackary Roughknight, I'd like you all to make him feel welcome." Hojo drawls, not sounding very enthusiastic.
Zackary waves and smiles, "Hey guys!"
Yep, a cheery and not very shy he. He walks over to me. Wait a minute! Me? No way! This isn't happening! A non-geek actually wants to sit with me! Nah, can't be! He'll walk past and not even notice me...
"Hey there!"
He hasn't walked past.
"I'm Zack!" he rakes his fingers through his mane of raven hair, "But you probably guessed that by now!"
I nod and mumble something incoherent.
"Umm... Mind if I seat here?" he points at the empty seat next to mine.
"Sure, go ahead." I murmur.
"So, what's your name?" he asks, tilting his head to the side slightly as the words slip out.
"Cloud."
Zack nods, "Got a last name?" he laughs. This guy is always laughing, I think, and I find myself smiling a little because of it. Maybe Zack is also one of these people who can give people serious cases of "Tifa syndrome". I might have to re-name it to "Tifa and Zack syndrome."
"Strife. Cloud Strife."
Zack grins at me as I look up at him. Oh my god... those eyes! Never in my life have I seen someone with golden eyes before! I blush, and then curse myself inwardly for blushing.
Zack pulls out an empty folder (since he obviously has none of the work. At least he thought to buy a folder before he came into class though...) "So, what exactly are we doing?"
"Materia cycle." I reply. Trying my hardest not to look into those eyes, cuz I know that if I do, I won't be able to wrench my gaze away from those golden orbs and...
Oh shit, I'm staring. And, he's staring back and... Oh shit.
Zack's grin seems to fade as he looks back at me. Is he as lost in my eyes as I am in his? Maybe not, his eyes seem to be scanning all over my face. I find myself blushing again.
Zack smiles slightly, pushes a stray bang of midnight hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear, and turns to face the front just as Hojo starts talking again.
"If you'd all please turn to page 626 in your textbooks." Hojo drawls, "Zackary, if you'd just look on with Cloud."
Zack leans his head close to mine, and for some reason, my heart pounds against my ribcage.
"Grr, it's Zack! Not Zackary!" He hisses in my ear, and my heart stops as his warm breath tickles my cheek. "Hmph! Zackary!"
I chuckle slightly; obviously, he doesn't like to be called by his full name. "Do you already know anything about the Materia Cycle?" I whisper.
"Yeah... we just finished this topic in my old school. I haven't done the end of unit test yet though."
"Okay. I think we're doing the test next week." I reply, "So I take it this is just like revision for you or something."
"Strife, I prefer my pupils not to talk when I am." Hojo warns.
"Sorry sir." I mumble.
"You should all know everything you need to know about the cycle by now. So I want you all to answer questions 1 to 12 on page 626." Hojo says, "And if you're still feeling a little rusty then you can read pages 624 and 625 for help." And he turns and chicken-walks to his desk.
Zack sniggers, "Does he always walk like that?"
I nod, "Yep." I write down the answers to the questions pretty quickly, since I actually like Chemistry and pay attention in class. Tifa and Vincent say I'm the smartest one in the class, and according to all the exam results, their right, Hojo just doesn't give me any recognition for it because his precious Sephiroth is in the same class.
Surprisingly, Zack finishes before me. I'm not surprised at his intellectual skills; I never doubted them for a minute. I'm just shocked that he managed to finish before me considering the amount of times that he tried to make conversation with me. So maybe he's not just a pretty face...
Huh? Pretty? What the hell am I saying? A guy? Pretty! No way! Guys aren't pretty. Zack isn't pretty. Zack is... beautiful... That smile... those eyes... Shit! Those eyes! I'm staring again!
And Zack is... Staring back? Smiling! This shouldn't be happening! Guys don't do this! I try to look away... but I can't... he's just so... What would be a good word to describe him... Intoxicating, maybe? That's about right...
OH MY GOD! What is he doing? There's a brush of another hand against mine, and at first I think that he just bumped his hand on mine by mistake, but... No! His fingers are worming their way into mine, twining their way around them, and my heart skips a beat as I realize he's holding my hand.
"I... uh... I..."
Zack smiles, he leans in close to my ear, "Will you meet me at lunch-break today?" he whispers.
"Um... I-"
His thumb stroking my hand now, gently, "It's okay. You don't have to if you don't want to."
"I... uh... I... don't understand." I splutter.
Zack smiles again. Always smiling. "I'll tell you what," he says, letting go of my hand. And I don't know whether to be disappointed or to sigh in relief, "why don't you meet me during the morning break and I'll explain it to you?"
"Um... Okay..." I reply.
The bell rings to signal the end of the class and the sound of chairs scraping against the floor fills my ears. And I jump when I feel a gentle touch on my shoulder.
Zack. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to be going past English, would you Cloud?" he asks, the smile on his face and his head cocked beautifully to on side.
Wait! Beautifully?
"Uh-huh." I mumble.
Zack racks his hand through his great mane of hair, "Uh, can you show me the way?"
"Sure."
We step out the class, followed by a few taunts from Sephiroth (which Zack quickly silences with a glare) and we wait for Tifa and Vincent.
"Hey Cloud!" Tifa says cheerfully, then her gaze shifts to Zack, "So, who's your new friend?"
Zack smiles, (geez, how many times in one day does he do that!) "I'm Zackary Roughknight." he says, "Call me Zack though." he adds quickly.
"Nice to meet you Zack!" she says, shaking his hand.
They make their way through the corridors and eventually reach their English classes. Tifa glaring at the Turks- I mean - Prefects, on the way past. (Damn! I really gotta stop calling them that!)
"So now we must part, eh?" Zack says to me as we stand outside our rooms. "You'll meet me out here after class, Cloud?"
I nod. I wanna know why he held my hand. Or do I? This is all too confusing...
"Well, see ya later!" he laughs and enters his class with Vincent. I turn and walk into my own room and Tifa and I take our seats next to each other.
I stand outside my class, waiting for him. His class must've been kept in for something. No surprise. Barret Wallace is in that class, and he has a history of being disruptive. Zack eventually emerges and steps over to me.
"Hey." he says. Strange, his voice seems to be softer than when he spoke to me before.
"You wanted me to meet you?"
"Yeah." Zack replies. "I wanted to talk to you."
I nod, "What about?"
Zack grins, "You don't know?"
"No..." then it hits me, "Oh! Chemistry..."
"Yeah."
Silence.
"Well?" I prompt.
"What? You want me to say it here?" He grabs my arm and pulls me into an empty classroom, closing the door with his foot. I sit on one of the desks and wait expectantly.
Zack sits next to me. Holds his hands on his lap and looks down at his feet dangling a little ways off the floor, swinging them slightly and twisting his fingers nervously.
Nervously.
Nervous? Zack? That's weird. Okay, so maybe I have only known him for a few hours, but it still seems strange.
"You wanted to speak to me?" I figure it's best if I started, Zack would never say whatever it is he wanted to say if I hadn't.
"Yeah…" he says. He looks up at me with those tiger-gold eyes.
And they swallow me.
"This is pretty hard for me Cloud." He says, his hand creeping over to mine. And this time, I don't question it at all, it just feels… natural.
"Do you believe in love at first sight Cloud?" he asks.
"I dunno." I reply, still lost in his eyes, "I guess it would help if I knew what love felt like."
Zack nods and strokes the back of my hand with his thumb. "I never believed in it, love at first sight." He leans in a little closer and my heart races. "That is, until I saw you."
WHAT? My hearts doing somersaults in my chest, my stomach's tied in a knot and I think it's actually somewhere near my feet, and my breath is caught in my throat. My fingers seem really sensitive to Zack's, and I can do nothing but stare back at him and I can't breath... can't breath... "Really?" I mumble stupidly.
Really? That's all I can say! Really! How can I be so stupid...
"Yeah," he whispers, leaning a little closer, "really."
Oh my God! How close can he get without actually sitting in my lap?
"I really like you Cloud." I can feel his breath on my face, so warm, so... right?
His eyes are half closed, then he lets his eyelids slip the rest of the way down as his lips brush mine.
WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING? This isn't right! Guys don't do this! This is so weird... This is SO weird... This is so... perfect.
No it's not, cuz Zack just pulled away.
"I'm sorry..." he says, "You probably didn't like that..."
You're damn right! That was wrong! That was the best thing that's happened in my entire life and I really, really, REALLY hope this doesn't end... WHAT AM I THINKING?
"Cloud? Are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah... I'm fine." I think...
"So... You don't hate me?"
"No. I couldn't hate you."
"Cloud?"
I turn to him, his gold eyes seem a little nervous, but the rest of his figure has the posture of one who is always confident.
"Do you love me?"
"I dunno. What does love feel like?"
"Like... something you could never describe?" he says, a little unsure about himself. "I dunno! I have enough trouble with facts, let alone philosophy!"
"Oh." Do I love him? It would explain why my heart races every time he's close.
"I think it's like, always wanting to be with that special someone, and never wanting them to leave you."
"Oh, okay." Well, if that's true, then maybe...
"Why?" Zack says as he takes my hand in his again.
"Well..." Just say it Cloud! I take a deep breath, "Well... I think I might love you, if what you say is true..."
Zack smiles, takes my other hand and pulls me to me feet. I look up at him and he just manages to catch sight of my blush before he pulls me into his arms.
"Good." he says, "Because I think I might love you too."
Warmth. That's what love is, because warmth is all I seem to be feeling right now as Zack's lips linger on mine.
"I love you Cloud." Zack repeats.
And that's when I know for sure, "I love you too."