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Inspired by my one of my favourite scenes in the anime My Hime. It's a hilarious scene. Mwuahaha. Actually, the anime is a pretty good one, too. Starts off happy, then goes really really really dark – and then it ends cliché. Gah. Meh.

Warning: The beginning is full of sexual innuendo! BE AFRAID! BE VERY, VERY AFRAID!

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A Slice of Lemon

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"How are you feeling, Darren?"

"Uh… okay, I guess… A little warm, I think…"

"Really? Well, uh… just relax. Here, let's try this."

"Hey – what are you doing?"

"Just sticking this in here."

"Where-! Hey, that, that tickles!"

"Well, sit still then."

"Okay, okay… Ouch! Don't poke that!"

"Sorry! Er.. do you know… how this is meant to work?"

"You're meant to wait for it to rise."

"It's… not rising."

"Huh? Give it to me."

"Um… it's still not – oh. Oh. Ooooooh."

"Stop with the 'ohs', will you?"

"Sorry. Hey, you're looking a little red. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Steve."

"Are you sure? Here – take off your shirt."

"Wait – no!"

"Come on, take it off!"

"No, wait, Steve – ouch! Steve, you're supposed to take it out first!"

"Sit – still – Darren – I'm trying to –"

"Stop it!"

The door opened.

"Are ye all righ' in thare, Darren?" the redheaded school nurse (the star of many a boys' nightly dream, making them wake every morning thinking they had wet themselves overnight) asked as she stepped in, looking up from her clipboard.

She froze.

Steve and Darren froze.

An embarrasing tableau.

She blinked.

"Miss," Steve said carefully, leaning back from his position. "Your nose is bleeding."

"Indeed it is," she said softly.

And then she fainted.

- - - -

The school councillor looked up from his notes, his expression unreadable. Seated in the cushiony chairs before him were a sheepish Darren and peeved Steve, both of them refusing to look at the other. Set on the coffee table in front of them was a cake - small, and yellow, it's icing puffy and tempting.

The councillor cleared his throat, shifting his position in his chair. How he loved this chair.

"Help yourself to some cake," he said softly. Darren refused to look up, instead concentrating on an extremely interesting spot on the wall. Steve just glared. The councillor sighed and shrugged. "Suit yourselves, then." He reached forward and cut himself a slice, placing it onto a little white plate. Lemon cake. Delicious.

"Sir…" Steve said slowly.

"Your parents have been informed of the matter," the councillor began, cutting him off. "However, we have gone to lengths to ensure that none of the other students have found out about this – for your sakes." He took a bite of the cake. Steve watched him, like a cat, ready to pounce. Swallowing, the councillor went on. "So. Why don't I begin with saying this: such behaviour is not acceptable – between any coupling."

They both flushed a scarlet red.

"It's especially disturbing to think that two twelve-year olds -"

"I'm eleven, sir," Darren said quietly, not looking away from his spot. The councillor inclined his head slightly.
"Sorry, Darren. It's disturbing to think that a twelve and an eleven year old would be doing such a thing in school hours – you know that the legal age is sixteen, of course?"

"It wasn't what you think." Steve muttered angrily. The councillor took another bite.

"Really?" He asked. "Could you please explain the situation, then?"

Steve glanced at Darren.

Darren, finally tearing his eyes away from the spot, glanced at Steve.

"I fainted today, sir," Darren said, turning back to his spot. "During soccer. The others carried me up to the nurse's office. Alan and Tommy – they went back to class, but I guess Steve stayed with me."

The councillor took another bite.

"Go on," he prompted softly.

"Well, sir, when Darren woke up, he looked like he had a bit of a fever," Steve said.

"I did, sir, I was feeling very hot," Darren put in.

"So, I found a thermometer and tried to find his temperature by sticking it in his mouth. Then he started to look really, really hot, so I tried taking off his shirt, because, you know, with fevers, you have to make yourself cooler, then Dr. O'Shae walked in…"

"You do realise that fevers have to be sweated out, right?" The councillor asked, taking another bite. Steve blinked. Darren glared at him, and he shrugged sheepishly.

"S'not my fault…" He muttered.

"Hmmm." The councillor 'hmm'ed, as if deep in thought. "It seems, then, that you two were caught at an extremely bad time."

"It was planned." Darren muttered angrily. Steve glared at him, but before he could say a word, the councillor beat him to it.

"Planned, did you say, Darren? Has something like this occurred before?"

Steve was glaring daggers at Darren. The younger boy sent the other a sideways glance, then answered.

"Over the holidays… he… cornered me… and kissed me. And in a comic store, the only way he could get a comic was if he pashed me… which he happily did…"

Steve gaped.

"I didn't do that!" He growled heatedly. Darren flushed red.

"Would I lie about this sort of thing!" He growled back.

The councillor glanced from one to the other.

"I sense there's some unsettled issues here," he said, sitting back in his seat and picking at the crumbs on his plate. "Steve, is there something you want to confess to Darren?"

Steve fumed, standing up abruptly.

"There's nothing I need to confess! I never kissed him – never! I'm not gay, dammit!"

Now, Darren stood up, facing Steve.

"Yes you did! Annie knows – she was there, but you made her keep her mouth shut because you kissed her too!"

The councillor blinked.

"I'm not gay, dammit!"

"Well, neither am I, but you still kissed me!"

The councillor sighed, and picked up the cake.

"Now, now, boys," he said softly. They turned towards him, glaring, their hands bunched into fists. He smiled innocently, holding up the plate. "Lemon cake, anyone?"

- - - -

A.N …now if that ending wasn't random, I don't know what was… bleh.

By the way, the school nurse's name is Tia O'Shae. She's from an original story of mine, originally called Blood Price, but I'm rewriting it. It's now called No-Name, and involves demons, Hell, suicides, angels, exorcists, several mentally deranged people, and a young lad who has forgotten his name. Much fun.

…lemon cake be nice…