The Closet Speaks
Chapter 1: Chaos
Disclaimer: (shakes head) Right, I own Harry Potter and pigs can fly.
(pig flies over readers) Okay, I don't own Harry Potter.
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Push. Push. Bam.
Click.
Tok. Tok. Tok.
"Get me out of here! There is no way I'm stuck here with the Prince of Peroxide!"
"Why Granger, usually girls would die to get stuck in a closet with me…"
"Oh, so you're enjoying yourself there, Draco?"
"Oh shut up, Blaise! Why would I like to be stuck with an oversized buck toothed beaver?"
"Just stop it before I turn both of you into oversized buck toothed beavers!"
Silence.
"Okay, may I ask why I'm stuck in the broom closet with Mr. Evil over here?"
"Well, you two are Heads this year, and last night, when you were in patrol you woke everyone up with your constant bickering! Come on! You woke me up when I was dreaming about Cho Chang! Ah… good times…"
"What ever Harry, I say that we let them go bickering 'till they grow white beards, if it weren't for them, I wouldn't have woken up from that nightmare about spiders!" Shivers.
"Just let them out! I don't want the Mudblood to stain my ickle-Drakie poo…"
Sniggers.
"PANSY! How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not interested any more!"
Cough, cough.
"I'm sickened, and disturbed."
"What do you mean by 'any more', huh, Malfoy?"
"Yeah, we didn't know that the Ferret and the Pug went out together…"
"Oh, you wouldn't know since they were doing it in secret, only I, Blaise Zabini, knows since Draco here likes to boast about his little, ahem, shall we say, escapades."
Blush.
"I'm telling you here. When I get out of this damn closet I will hex you to the next millennium."
"…"
"Hermione, are you alright?"
"Yes."
"Then why are you so quite for the past, um… few seconds?"
"Just enjoying the view of Malfoy being humiliated over here."
"Oh…"
"And one more thing, if you don't let me out this instant, I'm going to let you fail Potions!"
"…"
"Typical, Granger, you always worrying about school…"
"Hey! I need to study too! I've got better things to do then being stuck with the amazing bouncing ferret!"
"So what? I've got to practice Quidditch, Sleeping Bushy!"
Bicker. Bicker.
Bang.
"…"
"If you don't stop bickering, we'll let you stay there 'till my eyes turn yellow and start jumping around!"
"Harry, mate, that's a huge insult for Mad-Eye Moody there."
"Sorry, sorry…"
"Sorry to interrupt your charming little conversation, but aren't you the ones who pushed us in here when I was in the Owlery?"
"And when I was in the dungeons?"
"Wait a sec, Granger, why were you in the Owlery anyway?"
"…"
"AHA! I knew it! You're still writing to that Krum guy!"
"Oh shut up, Ron."
"What'd you say, huh Granger? Dear Vicky…"
"…"
"I love you so much Vick…"
"…"
Clench.
"Please visit me here so we can do some, ahem, things to each other…"
"…"
Growl.
"Some naughty things to each other…"
Smack.
"How many times do I have to tell the whole world, that me and Viktor are just friends!"
"…"
"We have never gone out, we were only friends…"
"…"
"And the only reason he asked me out to the Yule Ball was to be my friend!"
"…"
"Wow, she's gone hysterical."
"Yeah, I feel sorry for Draco."
"Why, Pans?"
"Number one, he's inside with a stark raving mad Granger…"
Rant. Rant.
"And second, he's still speechless."
"…"
"I just remembered, isn't this the second time he got slapped by Hermione?"
"Yeah, the first time was what, in third year, four years ago?"
"Oh yeah… Too bad I wasn't there to witness it. Did you see it Pansy?"
"No…"
"Oh, Ron here and I witnessed it."
"A little shocking…"
"Yet… ah… those were the good times…"
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A/N: There it is, chapter 1. How do you like it? Is it a little confusing? If you don't understand it, then I'll edit it to make it better for you to understand. Constructive criticism? Comments? Suggestions? Flames? Any reviews are welcome!
Moshii