A/N: Ah, so here we are again! (silence ensues) Ahem, so, um, anyway, I'm not feeling particularly eloquent today, so, I'm just gonna shove off.
lovex3spell: You're absolutely right about that, I definitely aint a steadfast writer (hangs head). Sorry you had to re-read the chapters. I'm very glad you are, cos it isn't going to let up for a while ;).
Insanity 101: I just HATE those stupid things, they make me physically sick. I literally laugh out loud when I hear it, it's just so damn corny! Yeah, that's what happens when you watch too many episodes of a show for too long (Teen Titan's anyone?). Yeah, that's our Beast Boy (rolls eyes). Oh yeah, about the Batman Begins quote, I'm not sure, but I think it was "What good were all those push ups if you can't even lift a bloody log?" I think everyone heard it differently. Good movie, I liked it. Oh, and it's in the episode "X" when Robin says "You just made a BIG mistake". And guess what? I SAW BIRTHMARK! I'm just so happy (hugs self). Um, anyway, read on!
let's point out the obvious: Don't we all. Hmmm (scratches chin), what was your first clue? Hehehe…
Whitefang88: (salutes) Yes sir! Or madam, whatever…glad to hear it.
Regrem Erutaerc: Thanks a lot, glad to hear it. Oh, and I'm awful sorry, but I haven't had a chance to read those fics. I'll get on them as soon as I can, thanks for recommending them to me.
FantasyObsessed: I think Raven is thinking the exact same thing. Nah, trust me, I know some TRULY pathetic people, and you aren't one of them. Yes, as usual, Dusty providing us with wise advice (winks at Insanity 101). Just avoid her assassins, they're coming up behind you to get to me (ducks skillfully, avoiding lethal blow).
Lost and Far Away: I can't fathom owning one, it would probably mentally disturb me (hehehe). Well, more than I am already. Lol, yeah, I hear you on that one.
BlackGothFaerie: Aww, that makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside! (smiles goofily) Actually, it's spelled psychic. But seriously, you were the only one! I don't know, I used to like Tigger I think, cos he was a tiger, and they're one of my favorite animals, more than anything. Furbies personally freak me out. Hehehe, yeah it was amusing, BB has a whole 'nother side no one knew about. Thanks. Oh shit, I totally forgot, I was gonna say hey on your birthday, except that day I had a friends b-day, and I went to her party. My bad, I hope you had a great birthday!
Threeandfourforever: (scratches head a bit) Hmmm, I know I'll figure it out someday (winks).
the lone psychopath: Wow, that totally sucks, it used to rock, but it's trash now. Thanks. Ugh, Barbie movies, I think I'm gonna hurl. Hmmm, wait a second, Barbies, eh? Hmm…
Stardog3434: Well, he does continually spy on her, so I'm guessing his conscious is pretty much dirt. Sat what? I'M THE TORTURER AROUND HERE! Gah, no get away! Wait a sec, Barney? Hmmmm… (smiles evilly).
ipcryss: Why thank you, I guess I am, Muahahahaha! (sweat drops and stares) Um, anyway, you got it!
Dozer: Well, come to think of it, no, actually no one ever has before, you have the honor (bows extravagantly with a flourish). Ahhhh! (runs away and hides).
Well, here goes nothing:
Robin paced in front of his fellow teammates. The titans were standing in the hall. Robin was wearing a soldier's helmet, but his attitude was undoubtedly that of a general. He fingered a pointer thingy in his hands. Abruptly, he stopped pacing.
"Okay team, this is it. The Blue Fuzzers have gone out of control. We've always been able to subdue them, until now. We must…take…action."
"Robin, are you feeling okay? What the hell are you talking about?" asked the cybernetic teen confusedly, scratching his head.
"Stand down, private! This is a WAR! We don't have time for stupid questions!" bellowed Robin, particles of spit showering down on Cyborg as little veins stood out of Robin's neck in anger.
Starfire clasped her hands together worriedly. "I believe Robin is referring to the infernal fuzz that has been slowly reproducing in our refrigerating due to lack of cleanliness and common teenage-superhero neglect."
Cyborg stared from the redheaded alien to the short, fuming leader in front of him. "I don't know which one of you two makes less sense."
"We've wasted enough time! We have to plan our strategy!" commanded Robin. He kneeled over a pan of some soft, brown substance.
"All right, this is the plan. Starfire, you're going to draw their fire from above. They've seen you before, and you can fly, and we can't! Meanwhile, Cyborg is going to hide behind this sofa until I give the signal, and then you fire!" exclaimed the Boy Wonder, tracing Xs and Os and squiggly lines into the brown stuff.
"Uhh, Robin, isn't this…?" Cyborg scooped up a handful of the brown stuff, sniffed it suspiciously, and his suspicions were confirmed. He shoveled the mess into his mouth.
"This is fudge! Robin, why the hell are you tracing military strategies into fudge?"
Robin leaned over and put his hand on Cyborg's shoulder solemnly, staring at the horizon. "There are things about war and combat that you aren't meant to understand, son," he stated stiffly.
Cyborg shook his head. "Truth is, seems to me that last video game match caused some kind of blackout in your brain."
Robin spun around. "Truth! TRUTH? You can't handle the truth!" he roared dramatically.
Cyborg shook his head again sadly, as he picked up the fudge and munched on it, following the neo-Napoleon and his alien assistant to the main room. Oh well, he thought. At least I get fudge. I just hope Raven gets back soon, so that there will be at least ONE other sane person in the Tower.
Little did he know, however, what mental processes were going through Raven's mind at the moment…
Meanwhile…
When Raven awoke, she somehow knew things around her were different. She kept her lids tightly shut, refusing to acknowledge that more torture seemed in order.
Great Azar…what have I done to deserve this?
However, she noticed she wasn't in a chair anymore, and that she was lying on some fluffy carpet. She hesitantly opened her eyes, sat up and rubbed her head.
"Ugh…what happened?" she thought groggily, staring into the dark.
"I'll tell you what happened," answered a thoroughly unpleasant, childish voice, belonging to a certain green elf. Suddenly, the lights turned on.
Raven eyes widened in surprise. She appeared to be in a huge, pink doll house. Well, it wasn't huge, but it was large enough to fit her in it. The room she was in appeared to be a kitchen. Sitting at a table next to her was an over-sized Barbie doll. It was perfectly made up and wearing a pink dress.
Raven stared at it stupidly, them stumbled to her feet awkwardly, banging her head against the ceiling, despite her short stature. She headed for the door.
As soon as she stepped out, she realized the house had only contained one room, sort of like those play houses for children at nurseries and pre-schools. She also realized she had just stepped onto a "street" lined with a dozen little houses on each side, each complete with a little front lawn, and toys adorning the entrance of each "home".
The young sorceress gaped at the site. That dumb elf has made himself his own town, she thought, astounded. He truly has lost his mind.
As Raven began to walk down the street, she heard the voice again. "Awake at last!" She spun around, trying to find the changeling and pummel his face in.
At last she spotted Beast Boy standing at the top of a pink "building". It couldn't have been taller than twelve feet. He was wearing a pink crown, and held a pink scepter in his hand. He grinned widely.
They stared at each other for a few seconds. Finally, Raven uttered, "You have some serious problems."
Beast Boy frowned, and waved his scepter in the air. "Silence! You are in MY town, so you'll obey MY rules. If I say laugh, you say "how hard?". I'm the Mayor Joker here, and you'll do as I say or be punished."
Raven smiled a bit, in spite of herself, though it was a plainly scornful smile. "You're even more of an idiot than I imagined. I don't know what got into you, or how you got all this stuff, or why the hell you need me to laugh at your lame-ass jokes, but the truth is, I don't care. I'm getting out of this basement now."
As she made this little speech, she reached out an arm, muttering "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" She must have truly expected this to work, because she was extremely shocked when it didn't.
Raven stared at her wrists and caught sight of two rings of light. Her usual blue cuffs had been replaced with portable wrist cuffs made out of white rings of energy, holding her powers back. "Shit," she muttered.
Beast Boy smiled easily. "Oh, I don't think you're going anywhere." Raven stared at him furiously. "I thought the Furbies might have scared you some," (at this, Raven glanced around nervously) "but even you couldn't bear the pressure. They made you faint from fear. Can't say I blame you, I almost wet my pants when I bought them myself," (Raven eyed his uniform disgustedly, just to be sure) "but even I aint cruel enough to wish Furbies on anyone. They were merely a decoy. While you were conked out, I set up this!" He motioned with his hand the "town" with a flourish. "Barbie Land!"
Raven stared at him stoically. "I think I'm going to hurl." Beast Boy frowned at her, unnerved by her coolness. But then he smiled again.
"Of course, no Barbie Land is complete without some vehicles. Say hello to the new-and-improved Barbie Mini Van!" And with that, a pink mini van with cannons whirled around the corner and hurtled toward Raven, under the command of a controller in BB's hand.
Raven blanched. She took a few steps back. "Of course, I made some modifications," stated Beast Boy matter-of-factly. "A few bunny launchers ought to keep you light on your feet!"
He pressed the launch button, and two heat-seeking bunny missiles shot out of the cannons, heading straight for the pit of darkness.
"Uh-oh." This could get nasty…
A/N: Ta da! Raven's got herself into another frightening situation. And what with Robin going nuts, and Cyborg unsuspecting her fate, what's going to happen? Don't miss the next chapter of…
BEAST BOY THE TORTURER!
Toodles,
Jambey