by: Amisha N. Smith
Well, that was fun! And the worse is yet to come! Believe you me, this little fight between Ash and Gary is only gonna get worse… much worse! Which is good. For us. Ha ha, the immaturity of those two makes for great fanfic writing, doesn't it? Now, let the madness continue….
Ash vs. Gary
Round Two: Of course you realize, this means war!
Ash raked the grass in Professor Oak's back yard furiously, seething with rage. He had never been so angry in all his life. He still couldn't believe his rival Gary had shaved him bald. He even shaved off Ash's eyebrows, making him look completely ridiculous. I will get even. I will get even. I will get even, he thought to himself with each scrape of his rake. A gust of wind arose and blew his cap off of his bald head. He scrambled to grab it before anyone could see, but it was too late. By the time the cap was on his head Gary, who was five next to the house watering Professor Oak's plants, was already snickering in delight.
"Hey, baldy!", Gary called out happily, "You about ready to take five?"
"Go to hell, Gary", Ash bit back.
"Well, I sure am ready for a break", Gary said, leaning lazily against the house and favoring Ash with a lopsided grin. "All this work sure has helped me build up a monster appetite." His eyes sparkled mischievously as he stroked his chin and pretended to think. "I think I'll head inside for some lunch", he said. "You know what? For some strange reason, I'm in the mood for melon."
That was it. That was all Ash could take. Before he even knew what he was doing, he was rushing towards Gary, waving the rake over his head and yelling like a lunatic. Uh oh, he's lost it now, Gary thought as he watched his now psychotic rival running towards him with an obvious intent to cause serious harm. But Gary was anything but worried. He immediately took on a fighting stance, ready to defend himself and make short work of Ash. Little did his rival know, Gary had been training himself in martial arts for years by sparring with his fighting pokemon; Hitmonchan, Hitmonlee, and Hitmontop. When Ash finally reached him he swung down at Gary's head with the rake, and Gary startled him by reaching his hand up and, as quickly as lightning, grab the weapon in mid-swing. Before Ash could even think about reacting, Gary turned and delivered a powerful roundhouse kick to his ribs, sending him flying backwards. Ash landed on his ass and grabbed his chest, breathless and in pain.
"You know Ash, you really oughtta learn how to chill out", Gary snickered as he tossed the rake aside. "You could have hurt someone with that."
"That's the general idea", Ash snarled as he grabbed a rock off the ground and hurled it at Gary's head. But Gary was still as quick as ever. He swiftly dodged to the side and the rock flew past him… and hit the hindquarters of a bulky and fierce-looking Taurus. The powerful bull pokemon roared in anger and turned around with a glare, ready to attack whomever dared to assault it. And, much to Gary's misfortune, the Taurus's hateful gaze fell upon him.
"Hey, whoa! I didn't do it!", Gary said in alarm as he raised his arms. But the Taurus wasn't listening. It reared up and charged straight for him at full speed. Without another word Gary turned and started running for his life, the angry bull pokemon hot on his heels. Ash folded his arms and leaned against the house with a huge grin on his face as he watched Gary run from the Taurus. This had turned out better than he thought. He was glad both he and Gary had left their pokemon in the house earlier. That meant his rival couldn't even call forth any pokemon to protect himself. It was just Gary and the bull.
"Hey, stop! Enough already!", Gary called out desperately as he ran as fast as his legs could go. But his yelling and running was to no avail, for the Taurus wasn't listening and he was gaining ground on Gary at blinding speed. It wasn't long before it finally caught up to him and, lowering it's head, butted Gary ferociously in his back. "AAAHHH!", Gary screamed as he went flying through the air… just before he flew straight into a tall pile of Taurus dung. He fell backwards and onto the ground, his entire front covered in feces. He then heard his rival laughing his head off near the house and a powerful feeling of rage hit him like a train. He scooped a huge handful of Taurus crap off himself and rolled it into a ball…
Ash leaned against the house, cracking up uncontrollably. He had never seen anything so funny in all his life. He knew he would eventually get revenge against Gary, but he had no idea it would be this hilarious. He looked over at Gary, hoping to get one more look at his rival covered in crap before he started laughing his head off again, and at that very second he got a very nasty surprise as a huge wad of said crap hit him full in his face like a cannonball. Ash screamed as he clawed the offensive stuff of his face. "My eyes! It's burning my eyes!", he yelled. He heard Gary snicker as he walked past him into the house. "Don't sweat it, Ashy-boy", Gary said darkly. "As far as I'm concerned, it's a vast improvement for your face." Although Ash was enraged by Gary's assault, he was to busy trying to wipe the horrific stuff off of his face to counter-attack or even say anything back. Besides, he knew it was a cheap shot. There was no way Gary could top what Ash had done to him. He had officially won the war. Ash smiled to himself even as he started wiping his face off with his shirt. Check and mate, Gary. You lose, he thought to himself.
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Gary scrubbed his body in the shower for the twelfth time and vowed true vengeance against his rival for the hundredth-something time. True, it felt good to pelt Ash in his face with that dung, but even Ash had to know that was a pretty weak way to get payback. He just had to figure out an ingenious way to teach Ash a lesson. He just couldn't let it end like this. Gary washed the shampoo and soap off himself and stepped out of the shower. He reached into his cabinet for his Spring Fresh body powder, and was angry when he realized that the bottle was a lot lighter than it should have been.
That creep's been using my powder, Gary thought with much wrath. I swear Ash, one of these days… Suddenly an extremely wicked idea came to Gary and he began to smile evilly. He opened the bathroom door and saw his Umbreon still standing attentively at the door, guarding it just in case Ash and Pikachu wanted to try something.
"Hey, Umbreon. Do you mind doing me a favor?", Gary asked. He leaned down and whispered something into Umbreon's ear, and Umbreon nodded and ran off down the hall. Gary waited for almost a minute before Umbreon returned, holding a small container in his mouth. Gary took it from him. "Good work, Umbreon. Thanks", Gary said before shutting the bathroom door. Gary looked down at the small container of powdered catnip, impressed with himself for coming up with this idea. Gary snickered with wicked glee as he opened both containers and poured the catnip powder into the container of body powder. He then shook up the spiked container of body powder and put it back in the cabinet. Gary folded his arms and shook his head. Considering what was to come, he almost felt sorry for his rival. Almost. Ash was about to regret the day he made the stupid decision to mess with Gary Oak.
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Ash walked outside into the back yard, stretching his legs appreciatively. He felt great. The shower had been extremely refreshing, but not nearly as refreshing as getting even with his rival Gary. "Ahhh, a shower and revenge. What could be better?", he said to himself. "Now, what's my next chore? Oh, that's right! It's my turn to feed the Persians!" Ash grabbed the bag of pokemon food and made for the Persian cage, keeping a sharp eye out for his rival. He had a feeling Gary was planning vengeance at that very moment, not quite ready to call it even. He reached the cage, unlocked it, and walked in and started filling the food bowls. The hungry feline pokemon meowed gratefully and made for their dishes. Ash filled each bowl one at a time, stopping frequently to scratch his chest, sides, and crotch. He had never before felt so itchy in all his life.
Ah, what's going on?, Ash thought. Am I having an allergic reaction to Gary's body powder? He finally just put down the pokemon food and started scratching all over, itching like crazy. He pulled up his shirt and was alarmed to see that his chest was slightly red. Now he was sure he was having an allergic reaction to Gary's powder. Aurgh! This is the last thing I need!, he thought angrily. He started walking towards the cage door, on his way back to the house to find some ointment he could rub on himself, when he suddenly noticed that all the Persians in the cage were eyeing him intensely. He stopped and looked around, and became quite nervous as he saw that many of the Persians staring at him had grown wide-eyed, fidgety, and anxious. They also had a wildly malicious gleam in their eyes.
"Um, Persians? Is something wrong?", Ash asked carefully. The only answer Ash got was the Persians' sudden and vicious attack. They all yowled and launched themselves at him, sinking their claws and teeth into his chest and sides. "AAAAAHHHHHH!", Ash screamed in pain and fear as he started flailing his arms, trying to beat the crazed pokemon off of him. But it was to no avail, for the Persians seemed adamant about tearing him to pieces. But that wasn't the worst of it. He finally managed to free himself of the crazed felines and made a run for the exit, but just before he reached it, at least four of the Persians leaped forward and sunk their claws and fangs deep into his crotch. Ash had no idea that at that very moment he was screaming like a bitch as he tried to pull the Persians off his lower area. But they hung on for dear life, responding by sinking their claws deeper into Ash's sensitive flesh. Ash went completely ballistic. He ran out of the cage, Persians still swinging and biting savagely at the front of his pants, and began running around the back yard, waving and flailing his arms and head around hysterically and screaming like a lunatic for Pikachu, screaming for his mother, screaming for God, screaming for anybody to come save him from the pain. Pikachu, who had heard his cries, came running out of the house and towards Ash, ready to do what it took to save his trainer. He stopped two feet away from Ash, analyzed the situation, and did the only thing he thought he could do. He fired a thunder attack directly at the Persians hanging on to Ash's crotch. The thunder attack hit it's mark, frying the Persians and Ash's testicles like a Twinkie at the fair. But the Persians just kept hanging on, seemingly oblivious to Pikachu's attack. Pikachu responded by hitting the Persians and Ash's crotch with a thunder attack again and again. Ash's screams elevated to a considerably high-pitched level as the most sensitive part on his body was being clawed to ribbons by psycho Persians and fried to a crisp by his own pokemon.
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Tears were rolling down Gary's cheeks as he was cracking up watching Ash's predicament from a window in Professor Oak's home. He was laughing so hard his sides and stomach were aching. Even his Umbreon was beside him and laughing his head off. Gary knew his latest prank was gonna be funny, but he had no idea it'd be this funny. Just when he thought it couldn't get any funnier… "Let go of my son!", he heard Ash's mom yell angrily and saw her run from the side of the house, broom in hand. "Whoa! Where'd she come from?", Gary thought out loud. He watched as Ash's mother ran towards her son, reached back to China with the broom, and swung with all her might for Ash's crotch, hitting it so hard even Gary could hear the loud impact from inside the house. Ash seemed unable to take it anymore, considering that his private parts were being electrocuted, rent to shreds, and ruthlessly smashed all at once, and he just fell back screaming and crying on the yard and kicked out at anything he could reach with his feet. Pikachu, Delilah Ketchum, and the Persians seemed undaunted, however, as the angry cats kept gnawing at Ash's private parts, and Pikachu and Delilah kept on trying to help Ash by frying and mashing the Persians and his crotch over and over. This was too much for Gary and he just fell on the ground, laughing uncontrollably. He knew Ash was gonna be pissed and plotting his revenge after this. He also knew that Ash's mother would probably be just as pissed and would chew him out for what he'd done to her son. But at that moment, Gary really didn't give a damn. He had gotten revenge against Ash, and got a great laugh out of it as well. And as far as he was concerned, that made the inevitable future well worth it.
To Be Continued…