The Proper Way

Beast Boy walked out of his room at about 1 in the morning. He couldn't sleep, so he figured he would read his entire comic collection. However, he had left his favorite one in the common room earlier that day, so he went out to get it. He snuck down the hall quietly to avoid waking the other Titans. But as he came closer to the common room, it became evident that he wasn't the only one awake. He could hear voices coming from the kitchen area. He snuck closer, and peeked behind the edge of the wall, but he could only make out 2 figures in the dark. He ducked back behind the wall and listened.

"...are you sure this is a good idea?"

I recognize that monotone anywhere, that's Raven! Beast boy thought, But what's she doing?

"Hey don't worry about it. What's the worst that could happen?"

And that's Robin's voice!

"Fine fine. So then, Boy Wonder, teach me this so called 'art.'"

"Ok. See this? Now, grab the top, twist, pull, and lick."

At these words, Beast Boy did a double take. Twist, pull? Wait...lick WHAT! Apparently, Raven shared the same surprise.

"Twist? Won't that...can't I just pull and lick?"

"No, believe me, if you pull it without twisting, it's more likely to snap."

Beast Boy winced. That sounded painful.

"Well...ok...but I mean, what if the others found out about this, Robin?"

"They won't. Nothing will happen. I bought us our own pack, and I'll dispose of the evidence so that they never have a chance of finding we were using these...doing this."

Beast Boy gasped. Robin had condoms! No way, hold on. This isn't right. Robin's the corny hero guy, and Raven's...creepy. Corny + creepy / ...THAT! Beast Boy shuddered, but he couldn't help but listen.

"Well...ok. If you're sure..."

"Trust me. Now go on, give it a shot."

A few moments passed, and Beast Boy was almost going to sneak away, but then he heard something that made his skin crawl.

"MMMM, Robin! This tastes so good!"

"What, you had any doubt?"

"They never taught me things like this on Azarath! Thank you!"

"You're welcome."

"Ok, you're turn."

"You really need me to do it?"

"Robin, it isn't fair for me to have all the fun."

Another few moments passed in silence. Then-

"Mmmm. Always tastes good."

"Oh? Wonder Boy does this with girls all the time, does he?"

"Well, I don't like to brag but..."

Raven giggled a little. Wait wait. That can't be Raven. Raven doesn't feel. She's creepy and robot-ish.

"Well, you do good. And doing this...it just...well..."

"Feels good?"

"Yeah...I wish I could let my emotions out a little more sometimes. I'd feel pretty happy right now."

Beast Boy was feeling sick. He had already heard enough. But he was glued to the spot. He felt compelled to listen.

"That's not all though Raven. Here, take one. Alright, now here's what you do. You take these two...and you stick them together."

"Like this...ohhhh...you're right! This is wonderful!"

Beast Boy's face turned green. Now, all he could hear were moans of pleasure from Raven, and an occasional groan of satisfaction from Robin. He couldn't take it anymore. He jumped out into the common room and flipped on the lights.

"Stop this you guys!" He yelled angrily.

Robin and Raven looked over at him in shock. Beast Boy couldn't help but stare at the sight before him. There was Robin and Raven, at the table...

...eating Oreo's.

"Ah, crap," sighed Raven.

Beast Boy just stood there, mouth agape. Robin said hurriedly, "I-I'm sorry Beast Boy! They don't have Oreo's on Azarath...I felt obliged to teach her...you ok?"

"I...I thought you guys were...forget it. I'm going to bed."

"Er alright. Good night."

Beast Boy trudged out of the room, embarrassed. "Jeez...waht was I thinking? Robin and Raven, a couple? Like that'd ever happen..."

After awhile, Raven and Robin figured out what he thought they had been doing, and laughed it over. "I can't believe he thinks I'd be doing that! I'll murder that boy, I swear..." Raven cursed under her breath. "Ah relax. I mean I guess we did sound like we were a little. Well, I'm tired, so I think I'll turn in for the night. Good night Rae"

"Alright, good night Robin"

With that, Robin and Raven shared a small peck on the lips, and went off to their rooms.

The end.