This is a terrible idea. This is basically same format as the Gossip Girl novels by von Ziegesar.

Anyway, I felt like it, so what? Please review! Lolol I'm really hyper. Also if you haven't read SoM, then read it now because I WILL UPDATE IT.

And it's all uphill from here, man! Gosh, I don't have to write reviewer responses, do I? Yay!

Disclaimer: This style of story telling is so deliberately stolen from the author of GG that I MUST disclaim it. Anyway, I don't own any characters in this story, not even the parents that I made up. Make sense?

Good.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Hey Everyone-Welcome to The Circle of (Mis)Trust.

Superlong Welcome Back Edition: Summer Vacation's Over!

11th grade: sounds scary, right? Well, we're all glad to say: the first day came and went, and it's not as bad as they said! Now it's time to sit back and watch our lives slowly rip apart. Boy though, gossip sure does live! And if that's what you're after, then you've come to the right place for sure. This is the scoop of the first day of 11th grade here at public-school-for-rich-kids, La Quinta High School. Enjoy, and by all means, contribute!

Who would have known that total-hottie-of-10th-grade and over privileged hunk would turn out to be the total-hottie-of-11th-grade and cocky over privileged hunk? Definitely me! The mentioned eye-candy whom we all know and love (not!), R, confirmed rumours today of a summer fling with the queen-bee K. And-oh, no! He's still dating her!

Even though none of us are supposedly hot enough to even bee 500 feet within R's presence, we still love to entertain fantasies of the silver-haired sex god. And anyway, what's K got that I don't? I know! Ownership of the city's championship basketball team and a pink pony (is it from Oz or did they just dye it that way? Ha, ha.) The world is just so unfair!

K takes the role of daddy's girl on so well for the adults, but what they don't know is how her skirt is so deliberately hitched up 5 inches after those nasty old men can't see her.

But honestly-we so wouldn't put it past her to sell herself out like that anyway, just for some attention. Blech.

Looks like W and ST's relationship is on the rocks now-and they were so the match made in heaven! Apparently both of them have let a wandering eye to other...options.

W has discovered the hot new girl, Y, and ST has discovered said new girl's hot brother, A. Even though it's totally obvious that A is gay (even after only one day at school) and it looks more like A is into ST's also gay brother, T! Hold onto that though, though.

Just seems like W and ST refuse to break up on some hope that their love still lives. Ha! Whatever, right?

Something tells me that rather than liking a manly man (A), T has had his eyes on S all summer. I wonder why, though? S is like, the worst loser, always picked on by R (and believe me, you NEVER want to speak to someone who's picked on by R because guess what? You're next!).

Seriously though, if that gets out, T's super elite ranking could be demolished by like, a mile and a half. R was already totally pissed about the rumour that's been circulating about T and S-hmm, I wonder why though? (cue tittering audience.)

Just kidding. Since T and R are best guy friends, I'm sure that R just doesn't want to be associated with the serious nobody, S. Unless those other rumours about R's preferences turned out to really be true...but I'll just leave that part up to your imagination:)

Then there is the newest and coolest talk of the town, L and C. Those two are so utterly delectable that they could easily outrank R in terms of being the king of the grade, but since they both refuse to associate with idiots like us, they are just so much hotter (much to R's dismay. Again, cue tittering audience.)

Of course we saw L and C's relationship coming, after the "tragic" murder of C's girlfriend of 3 years, AG. As if it was so tragic that she was killed! She was the biggest pain in the ass!

But seriously, C's coming out of the closet with the other uber hotness of LQHigh, L, has to be the best thing that's happened in the history of the universe.

Except, you know, our fabulous lives as elitist 11th graders will definitely continue to outrank these events in greatness. And believe me, you'll hear it all here first.

Ch'yeah! More to come!

Irvy Kinneas XIII, Gossiper Extraordinaire

Chapter 1 Part 1

r's parents are weeds in his pot garden

Melinna and Kojiro Akatsuki came from both sides, and suddenly, he was surrounded. Caught off guard by his pathetically gullible and usually relenting parents, Riku rolled his eyes, crossed his arms, and leaned against the stair rail in cocky impatience.

His parents looked nervous. Melinna wrung her hands together and took a deep breath. She tucked her annoyingly fake blond bob behind one ear.

"Riku, we've been hearing some things about your...problems." She hesitated. "You know we love you-"

"Very much," Kojiro cut in.

"-yes, very much, but we can't have these nasty rumours dirtying our name about your...eh...addictions."

Kojiro frowned seriously and Riku scowled at his mother's bluntness. They never cared before, and they shouldn't care now. It made them ridiculously irritating. He sighed.

"Whatever," he said nonchalantly. "Give me more money, and I'll quite weed."

"But dear, that's exactly what we're saying. We're not going to give you money for a while so that you can...break away from it. We don't want people to think lowly of us, you know that."

"Fuck!" Riku's arms dropped to his sides and he frowned impatiently. Typical of his parents: always think of the community first. Yeah-fucking-right. They couldn't even feed him some garbage about how they were scared for his safety? Not as if he cared what they thought, but still: so very, very typical.

He pushed past them with fierce annoyance and slammed the door behind him. Cursing under his breath, he didn't even bother to stop and pick up his not-so-hot-but-still-popular girlfriend Kairi, who saw this and took off after him, calling out to him desperately.

Oh yeah, Kairi. Guys just love the desperate skank act.

Riku instinctively reached into his coat's pocket for a well deserved bong hit then realized it was gone. All of his weed was gone.

How was he going to go through the day without getting a skull splitting headache from listening to Kairi bitch if he wasn't mellow? Suddenly he did feel too sober and very hungry, but no way was he going to go back home to deal with his parents.

And with no money, he couldn't even buy a candy bar or some coffee. Fantastic. Fan-fucking-tastic.

He picked up his pace so that Kairi wouldn't be able to catch up to him. Just you wait, Melinna and Kojiro. Riku Akatsuki does not take lightly to being treated like this. And believe me, Riku Akatsuki has influence. The whole fucking world is literally hanging from a string off Riku Akatsuki's pinky finger.

Okay, sure, but what does Riku Akatsuki do when mommy and daddy suddenly don't want to give him pot money? I bet you can't wait to find out.

Chapter 1 Part 2

st's brother wears her lip gloss better

She hated it all! 11th grade already sucked so badly. Her boyfriend was already looking at the skankish new girl, Yuffie, and the one solution for poor Selphie's sexual tension was Yuffie's superhot twin brother, Auron, who anyway supposedly didn't even have eyes for her, but her gay brother, Tidus.

She had nothing against homosexuals per se. But when they seemed to be everywhere she went (including in her purse always stealing expensive lip gloss, courtesy of Tidus), she couldn't help but feel very annoyed.

Suddenly she had a burst of unadulterated rage. How dare they? Her shaking hand accidently drew eyeliner way too far out on the corner of her eye, making her look like Cleo-fucking-patra.

She considered starting a new chapter in her life as a Goth, but momentarily came back to her senses as she rubbed the mishap of eyeliner off with Vaseline.

She would much rather have an unfaithful boyfriend and gay love interest and still be super popular than be the village goth whom everybody hates and nobody loves.

Besides, she thought bitterly, the position was already well filled by her best friend Kairi's brother, Sora. The only thing that Sora had going for him was that he didn't wear band shirts.

I mean, really, now. Band shirts? Can you say passé? Even a goth should have enough common sense to steer clear of those.

"Selph, your husband is here. Oh yeah, can I borrow your watermelon bod spray?"

Selphie looked up from applying her lip gloss and glared at her asshole of a non-brother.

"Okay, a) he's not my husband, and b) no you may not. Now kindly fuck the hell off."

Tidus stepped up beside her at her sink despite her, and helped himself to her tweezers. Carefully, he started plucking at the new stubble under his meticulously designed eyebrow.

Rolling her eyes, Selphie left her room, not bothering to tell her brother not to take her perfumes because she knew he would anyway.

"Idiot," she called him quietly once he was out of earshot. "Loser. Faggot."

Then she opened the front door, smiled her cutest smile up at Wakka, and linked their arms in a very don't-any-of-you-dare-touch-my-man manner.

It's so great to be perfect.

Chapter 1 Part 3

s tries not to mind the drunk guy asleep on the floor

"Where the...fuck did that bitch run off to!" Ansem Fukayu yelled at nobody in particular.

His step-son, Sora Nakenawa (who kept his own last name), the brother of "that bitch," Kairi, sulked down the elegant staircase toward a not-so-elegant man.

He was wearing a pink t-shirt that read "ALLEN I. IS A REALLY OLD GUY." His sort-of-normal-at-first-glance jeans were patched with pieces of torn up plaid flannel boxers. He had smoky black clouds deliberately powdered around his eyes, giving him a slightly raccoon-ish appearance. He wore ruby studs in each ear, and had used Kairi's bronzer to slightly darken his face beneath his high cheekbones (was he supposed to use blush? I-don't-think-so.)

Instead of making him look older and more refined (which was the general idea,) he just looked superfly. Either way, delish.

His pouty lips upturned in an arrogant smirk at his handsome and yet so very disgusting stepfather.

"Now that I'm your real dad," Ansem growled in a way too unsober voice, "I think I should have the say on how you look. What are you, a fucking homo? You look like a slut."

Sora shrugged and tried to walk out the door, but Ansem floored him with a drunken fist. His teeth cut a deep gash on the inside of his teeth upon impact, but he didn't say anything. The iron taste of blood bittered his mouth, but he only got up and walked to the hall closet, pulled out the handy made-for-the-situation metal broom handle, and-

SLAM! Instacorpse!

Just kidding. But he was knocked out, and, sighing like it was simply a daily routine to knock his step-dad out cold (which it was,) Sora gently closed the door behind him and started for school.

He didn't spit out the stagnant ocean of blood from his mouth yet; he wanted to save it for in the hallways later, where he would pretend he was deathly ill and "vomit" a gawk-worthy amount of the stuff onto the clean tiled floor. Since losing all his friends, scaring the hell out of people was something Sora had come to enjoy very thoroughly.

Eeeeeyikes. As if he really needed to try any harder.

0o0o0o0o0

Notes From TT:

ALLEN I. IS A REALLY OLD GUY is something that I started yelling at the Detroit Pistons v. Philly 76ers B'ball game yesterday. Yes, I'm a Detroiter, and yes, that's the best thing I could incessantly yell at Allen Iverson. Seriously though, the guy kept falling on his ass. As my friend so cleverly pointed out, the 76ers all played like they were 76 years old. Except Kyle Korver-whoo, talk about deelish! Since when can't white man play ball?

Anyway, comments would be loved. They will be cleverly answered in the Irvy Kinneas XIII gossip column under the questions-instead of being in the author's note. Also, I'd love to know if you guys think I did a good job impersonating von Ziegesar. If not, that's fine, I'd also love to be my own version of her.

Kay, until next time.

Teizontidus (Irvy Kinneas XIII, Gossiper Extraordinaire)