Disclaimer I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or any of it's characters.
This is my first RK songfiction so please be nice ok?
The Trouble with Love Oooh oooh, oooh yeah, mmmm…
Misao sat on the last step of the temple's stairs, as she stared at the Sakura blossoms that littered the green grass below the tall trees, she thought about her beloved Aoshi-sama. Misao had brought Aoshi his green tea like she had every morning since his return, however, this morning she had tried to meditate with him. She had sat down for thirty seconds at the most before she became impatient, stood up, and left.
Misao just couldn't understand why Aoshi was so distant from her. Over the past year and a half, Aoshi had done his best to open up to Okina and the others…but…she was still as distant from him as she was to the night stars. Why was it so hard for Aoshi to open up to her? Was it because he thought she was still angry with him? Her eyes shifted from the Sakura blossoms to the bright blue skies and gray clouds were fanned out in the sky but Misao doubted it would rain.
'Does he think…that I still blame him for Han'nya and the others deaths? I don't blame him at all…I never did. I just wish he would open up to me like the others. He knows I love him…and that I always will. No matter what he tells me…I'll always love him.'
Her gaze fell to the green grass as she stared at the last wooden step of the temple and thought, 'Does he even know everything that he is making me go through? I wish that I could just open his eyes so he can see that he has nothing to be sorry about.'
Misao slowly stood from the stair's step she was sitting on and decided to take a long walk around Kyoto to try and sooth her mind from all its frustrations and confusion.
Love can be a many splendored thingCan't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses, diamond rings
Dreams for sale and fairy tales
It'll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind,
It'll fool ya every time.
Every step Misao took seemed to make herself drown in doubt of her love for Aoshi. She was certain that she loved him, no mistaking it…but what about him? Did he love her the way she loved him or did he simply didn't want to tell her that he only saw her as the little girl he helped raise? Misao stopped as she passed by the Shirobeko and remembered something Aoshi had said to her a few weeks ago.
Flash back
Misao knelt down next to Aoshi and handed him his green tea. She stood up and was about to leave as she usually did every morning but…something stopped her and she turned back around to look at Aoshi who was sipping his green tea.
"Lord Aoshi…why don't you look or talk to me the way that you do the others?" she asked slowly as she looked down at the wooden flooring of the temple.
"What do you mean Misao? I do not treat you any different…do I?" replied Aoshi in his usual expressionless voice. Misao felt a small spark of anger flare up inside of her but quickly calmed down knowing that if she let her anger get the better of her then she wouldn't get any of the answers that she wanted and the conversation would take a turn for the worse.
"Do you think I am still angry at you for leaving me behind in Kyoto when you and the others left?"
Aoshi stared at his green tea, 'Yes, I do,' he though but replied, "No."
'Argh! Why can't he just stop lying to me!' "Then why do you try to avoid me whenever you get the chance?"
"Misao…"
Misao looked at his eyes for an answer as she remained extremely quiet. "I do not know what you are talking about."
Misao inwardly sighed in frustration, 'God why do I even bother?' Misao walked up to him and knelt down next to him. "Don't say that 'cause you are just trying to crawl your way out of this conversation…just like all the others since you came back. Aoshi…"
Aoshi looked up at her slightly confused when he realized that she didn't use 'Lord' in front of his name like she usually did. 'Oh no,' he thought worriedly as he stared into her sea green eyes.
"I love you." As soon as the words left her mouth Misao instantly wished to take them back, shove them into her mouth, and pretend she had never said it but…it was too late for that and the look on Aoshi's face made her heart throb in pain.
Aoshi looked at her with a confused and scared face as he heard her words. He had known all along hoe she felt about him but for her actually say and admit it to his face was…plain shocking.
Misao couldn't take the silence and the look on Aoshi's face so she stood up and ran out of the temple in pain as her tears began to fall to the ground like crystallized gems.
Aoshi blinked suddenly and was about to speak but remained silent when he saw Misao outside, running towards the Aoiya. Aoshi realized that the look upon his face and his silence had no doubt made her think that he did not feel the same way about her…but that was far from the truth. Aoshi looked back down into his cup of green tea, 'I love you too Misao…but things are better the way they are. Too much would change if we were together.
End flashback
Since that day Misao had not summoned the courage to speak to Aoshi again about anything, she brought him his green tea every morning but that was it. The look upon his face……
She still couldn't erase it from her mind and it still hurt her.
The trouble with love isIt can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all
'Is love nothing but a fool's dream, a dream one can never have fading in the distance?' Misao crossed her arms over her chest as she continued to walk at a low pace with her head bowed slightly. She had so many memories of Aoshi, too many remembrances of how she demonstrated her undying love for him. Kenshin Himura had once told her that Aoshi had decided to leave her behind in Kyoto when he left with Han'nya, Shikijo, Beshimy, and Hiotiko because of the one fact that if she had spent her days with them and lived only to fight, she would have always been in danger. That is why he had left her in Kyoto with Okina, to protect her.
When she had found out that Aoshi and the others had left without her she had cried and was angered with Aoshi beyond compare for leaving her behind. That anger, however, left as fast as it had come and plain sadness and loneliness had filled her heart. She wanted to always be by Aoshi's side…and she has known that sense the day she first laid eyes on him. She was nothing more than a child when she had met him but from that day on; she couldn't be separated from him or the Oniwabanshu.
She had so easily warmed the hearts of men who had only known hatred and destruction. She had befriended men that most of humanity called monsters and shunned them. Misao suddenly remembered how she had first met Han'nya and smiled happily as she recalled that warm night.
It was because of her stubbornness and admiration for Aoshi that had caused the meeting between the two. Okina had tucked her in but that wasn't what Misao had wanted. She had wanted Aoshi to tuck her into her futon like he did every night but he was in a small meeting with a new recruit who was to be a member of the Oniwabanshu. Shortly after Okina had left her room, and was certain he would not see her, she sneaked out of her room and into the yard to see if Aoshi could tuck her in but mostly…she wanted to see whom the new recruit was.
Misao reached Aoshi's room and slowly opened the door but did not enter. Aoshi turned around to face her and stood up to stand in front of her. "Misao, what are you doing up? Didn't Okina tuck you into bed?"
"Yeah but I want you to tuck me in Lord Aoshi…and I want to see who the new guy is."
"Misao…I do not think that is very wise."
"But I want to see!" said Misao as she tried to get a look at Han'nya over Aoshi. Aoshi blocked the way into his room but Misao crawled in between his legs and ran to where she saw a man sitting in the corner of the room.
"Misao!" said Aoshi as he came up behind her to try and take her away as she stared at Han'nya with wide eyes. Aoshi grabbed Misao's arm to put her back in her room but stopped tugging on her small arm when he heard her crying. Aoshi sighed but pulled on Misao's arm but she didn't move from where she was and that is when Aoshi realized that she was holding on to something with her other arm. He turned his head to the side to look at what it was and was shocked when he saw her holding onto Han'nya's arm. He saw Han'nya look down at her with the same amazement and shock. Aoshi let go of Misao's arm and looked down at her as he turned around.
Misao stopped crying when Aoshi let go of her but continued to hug Han'nya's arm as she wiped away her tears. "What's your name?" asked Misao as she looked up at Han'nya.
"Han'nya. Why are you not scared of me?"
"Scared? Should I be? I'm not scared of you…I'm not scared of anything. Your mask is kinda cool."
Han'nya nodded slowly in understanding but amazement was still clear on his face, 'I have scared grown men out of their skin but this little girl was crying because she didn't want to leave from my side. How strange.'
"Han'nya. Do you want to know something?"
"What?"
"I want you to tuck me into bed tonight, ok?"
"…Ok."
Misao sat on a bench near the cemetery as the memory faded away. 'Han'nya,' she though proudly. 'You were always looking out for me, thank you.'
When Kaoru gad told her how the Tokyo Oniwaban Group had died she was saddened greatly that she thought a piece of her heart had fallen because of the untouchable bond she had formed with all of them. However, at the same time, she was a little relieved that Aoshi had not suffered the same fate as the others did in Tokyo. Because then she would have truly been all alone. What would she have done then? What option, except death, would make her happy?
Those years before she had met Himura, she had spent looking for Aoshi and the others. She never once gave up on him or the others despite the fact that every time she found a lead to their whereabouts…she had come to the disappointment that they had moved on and where no longer there.
Misao forced herself to her feet after looking up at the sky to see that the few gray clouds she had seen before had now grown in number and littered the blue sky. 'Maybe it will rain after all,' thought Misao as she began to walk towards the Aoiya. 'I am half an hour away from the Aoiya and…if it is going to rain then I am going to get stuck in it,' she said angrily. 'I really should have brought that umbrella Omasu told me to bring." Misao sighed, 'Lord Aoshi…can I ever forget you? Could I live with out you?'
Now I was once a fool, it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world's a deeper blue
I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too
I swore I'd never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name
Forgetting Aoshi was much easier said then done because…Little Misao would always love her Aoshi. Misao felt like crying. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated all the time? She looked back up and noticed that the gray clouds had become much darker and it promised a hard down pour upon the city of Kyoto but despite that, she continued to walk in a steady pace towards the Aoiya. Hell, maybe the cold rain would help her cool off and forget about the fiery emotions within her.
Flash Back
"Misao, look at her weapon," said Kaoru seriously.
"Why, is there something special about it?"
"It must way at least seventy pounds. Heavy weapons have tremendous power but the attacker is left wide open if he misses. I'll be a decoy and get him to focus his attacks on me. When he misses, you attack his vital areas Misao."
"Vidal areas? He-he, I get got it."
After a short while Kamatary spoke up, "Well? Attack whenever you're ready!"
Kaoru put her wooden sword out in front of her as she ran towards Kamatary. "I don't need you to tell me what to do! Haaaa!" Kamatary tightened her grip on the large scythe and swung it hard at Kaoru's approaching form. Kaoru jumped and flipped in the air, "Now Misao!"
"Haaaaa!" Misao yelled as she rushed at Kamatary with her fist stretched out in front of her, ready to strike her, until she felt a sharp pain in her left side and her eyes widened in pain.
"No, Misao!" shouted Kaoru as she landed on the other side of Kamatary. Kaoru watched as Misao flew threw the air and landed roughly against the Aoiya's dark blue tiled roof.
"Misao!" shouted Okina as he watched Misao crash against the tiles next to him. Misao groaned and clutched her ribs in pain.
"I have to say," said Kamatary, "that was a pretty nice try, you thought you would take advantage of my heavy weapon's weakness…but that wont work against me. You see I'm called Kamatary the large scythe, but my weapon is actually a large chained scythe and all of my techniques are interchangeable between the scythe and chain. Like this one!" yelled out Kamatary as she raised her chained scythe over her head.
Kamatary began to twirl the scythe faster and faster over her head. One of the masked soldiers took of his mask, "The Nidaraisenden!" he shouted. "Lord Kamatary's special technique!" called out another.
"Nidaraisenden, this attack combines offense and defense slicing away anything it touches! There's no way you can hope to defeat it!"
Kaoru narrowed her eyes as she heard Kamatary's voice and continued to stare at the chained the scythe. Okina also narrowed eyes his eyes, he knew Kaoru would need help to defeat to defeat Kamatary. "Misao! You've got to wake up Misao! Misao!" Okina yelled but Misao did not stir.
Misao found herself looking at a younger version of her around the age of five practicing kenpo with Han'nya standing behind her. Hyotoko, Beshimy, and Shikijo were standing to the side watching her intently. Aoshi was sitting on a rock with a very light smile on his face as he watched her with much pride. Misao saw herself younger self-smile over at Aoshi and then attempted a jump kick. Misao slipped and would have fallen on her butt if it wasn't for Han'nya catching her.
Misao looked up at Han'nya and smiled happily up at him. Misao's eyes narrowed slightly as she witnessed the memory in a slight sadness and she suddenly saw the image vanish into thin air. A strong voice began to call out to her as she now lay on the Aoiya's blue tiled roof.
"Lady Misao."
"Uhhh, who is it?"
"Lady Misao."
"T-that voice. Han'nya?"
"The Battosai has kept his promise. Lord Aoshi will be returning to us."
Misao's sea green eyes shot open and she bolted up as she stared up at the clear blue sky, "Han'nya," she said with a smile, "you're still looking after me, even know, aren't you?"
End Flash Back
Back then, Han'nya's words had given her the strength necessary to continue fighting and defeat Kamatary. Just the very thought of knowing that her Aoshi would be returning to her and seeing his face again tripled her strength.
Misao had waited for him for so long, searched for so long, and when she was finally reunited with him…her heart soared the skies even though he only smiled at her. She was happy beyond compare when she saw him walking towards the Aoiya under the careful watch of the full moon…but there was this small little tint of disappointment when that was all he did; smile, no hug, no 'Hello Misao…' just a smile.
Misao furrowed her eyebrows in frustration, every time she found something about Aoshi that made her happy she always found something in it that made her feel…doubtful.
(The trouble with) The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all
'Han'nya said that Lord Aoshi was returning to us…maybe he didn't mean the Lord Aoshi that I fell in love with, the Lord Aoshi that played with me and tucked me into bed when I was younger. He meant the Lord Aoshi that was filled with guilt and the desire to be known as the strongest.'
However, despite all of that, Misao was just happy that he even decided to come back. She remembered how fast the tears formed and dropped from her eyes when she saw him walking under that full moon with Kenshin and Sanosuke as she ran to him. She had felt complete.
Misao blinked a few times as she looked up and felt small droplets of jeweled water strike the top of her head. 'It's raining,' she thought while she lowered her head and continued on her way towards the Aoiya. So many emotions swirled around her as the wind picked up, the rain hitting her skin harder as her braid was swung over her shoulder. 'Just try to forget everything,' thought Misao to herself as she quickened her pace by a small fraction.
Images and recollections of her and Aoshi swam calmly through her mind like a slide show. One by one they came and went, never stopping. Her heart began to ache suddenly and she felt cold, she wanted to get away.
Tears formed in her sea green eyes and as they slowly rolled down her cheek, they mingled with the cold rain. Misao's feet now moved as they wished and they quickened their pace as she drew closer to the Aoiya. Misao ran through the empty streets of Kyoto, splashing her bare legs with ice cold water every time she stepped into a puddle, her long drenched braid swung side to side and with every step she took…she felt defeated.
Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin' and I keep fallin'
Over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin in the purin rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two
Misao slowly came to a halt a couple of hundred meters from the Aoiya's gates and realized that even if she wanted to forget about her love for Aoshi and all the memories of him, she would never be able to forget him…no matter how hard she tried. She had loved him since she was a little girl and that "childish crush" others had said it was didn't go away, it only grew greatly over the years into a love so pure and true. Misao finally understood love was not a fairy tale like in the books she had read or like in the movies she had seen. No matter how much you wish…there never is a Happily ever after. When you fall in love you face so many more struggles and heartaches then if you were just by yourself. Some people lose their loved one because they don't have the courage or determination to work through and crawl their way out of the hole that all their problems led to. Only people who have truly fallen in love can endure those troubles and remain happy.
Misao raised her gloved hand and wiped the tears from her eyes and lowered her head as a smile leapt to her lips, 'I do love Lord Aoshi…and I won't let him get away from me ever again. I know that he loves me…he just needs a little more time to say so.' Misao saw an image in the puddle of water below her and her smile grew when she no longer felt the rain strike against her skin. She turned around and saw Aoshi standing behind her with an umbrella.
"Misao, what are you doing in the rain?"
"I…was taking a walk. I forgot my umbrella at the Aoiya."
"Come…we can share," said Aoshi as he began to walk but slowed his pace when he felt Misao wrap her arms around his arm and laid her head against him. Aoshi never said anything nor stopped walking…he just let Misao be.
(The trouble with love is)
It's in your soul (doesn't matter how fast you fall)
You're loosing all control
(And you can't refuse the call)
See, you got no say at all
Thank you very much and please review! This is my very first Rurouni Kenshin song fiction and I hope that it was worth all the time and effort that I put into it. . Please review!