Two of the Same Kind
Chapter 30 - Anxiety and Lies

So I stood before my vast closet of decadent apparel with the task at hand: Dress the Pharaoh's past self. Now, most people would think this to be an easy task. Simply find some shit, throw it on and say, "yay! You're done, now get the hell out of my face, you bitch." But not this time. I generally only do that to Marik when he thinks I'm going to let him rummage through my closet. Which he does frequently...That asshole. He probably still has my Batman t-shirt.

"So, Bakura...I have a question." The tanned version of Yami said suddenly. I was almost alarmed by it simply because he hadn't spoken to me really directly. I mean, we had never really been alone in the whole time they'd been there either.

"As long as it doesn't require me to explain how babies are made, go ahead and ask." Though...I probably would have come up with a horrific scenario involving blood spray and screaming to the point where he would shun the sight of a woman...Oh my god. That's how the Pharaoh became gay! I frothed mentally before I snorted out my nose upon thinking about it. Shaking my head, I knocked that very thought out of my brain and motioned for him to ask despite my temporary brain aneurysm.

"How come you and my future self get along so well?"

Hmm, now that was a particular question. It had seemed a little strange to think of my past self and the pharaoh's past self conversing with each other, talking about some plan of theirs that worked. If his question was to ask why I got along with Yami, yet he seemed perfectly capable with talking with Akefia the same way... "What are you up to?" I turned to him and cornered him on the wall of my closet. "You are both fucking with me now...quite literally and now figuratively. What the fuck is going on!?"

"...I don't know what you mean."

"Okay you fucktard. I'm not as stupid as you people think I am. Akefia cornered me in one way and now you've moved in for the second half right!?" I was getting slightly angry and very paranoid. Seto's knowing smirk had started my suspicion. I hadn't thought much into Akefia...but then I saw him talking in the hall with none other than Atemu. Now Atemu's playing the same sonofabitch game.

"You didn't answer my question thief." He replied, unaffected by my anger. He smiled, but there was challenge in those violet eyes. Immediately I regretted fighting him on that one. Those eyes never failed to twist me. I felt almost compelled to not lie because of the long history I've had looking into those damnable eyes. I'd lied to Yami countless times…a stupid thing here or there, but not when it was relevant…or meaningful. Then again…I don't think I've ever lied about meaningful things. I mean I stretch the truth, certainly…or I don't answer the question…or simply give an answer to an entirely different question without announcing the change in question. Sometimes I respond with a question…But I don't really lie…

Not to Yami…

Everyday I tried to rekindle my hatred, some how falling short every time. Keeping myself at arms length with anyone other than my Hikari…We fight…We get generally angry…Claims of hatred, chiding…he tried to knock my lights out after I kicked the crap out of Atemu for kissing Akefia…

"What is your opinion of my future self?" He pressed, not letting it slip for a second.

"I don't know, okay?" I gritted, trying not to outright lie. It wasn't going so well. I knew exactly how I felt. Painfully…morbidly…I was well aware of what the cause of my anxiety…Akefia had already brought that mystery to light for me…So it was Atemu's turn to make me admit it outright. They were a devious pair, but in my understanding I was no weak willed person. It was time to fight back the best way I knew how. Reverse psychology.

"Why did you kiss my past self?"

"Why are you avoiding the question?"

"You avoided mine. Are you feeling cornered about it, pharaoh?"

"Are you, thief? I am not the one in question. You didn't seem concerned about my future self flirting with your past self nearly as much as you disliked seeing me kissing him…Now why is that?"

"What does it matter?"

"Oh it matters. Why would you possibly be concerned about such a minute event that probably will not even stay in the memories of either of us?"

"Why should I worry? The two of you will go back to where ever you came from."

"Then what will you do, knowing there's no buffer between you and Yami."

I paused…Upon pausing I flinched…I fucking hesitated…That was the signing of my defeat in the reverse psychology department. But I couldn't help it. He posed a question. When they left, it would be the same as it was before. I would continue to pretend to hate him and he could continue to pretend that he wasn't affected by my hatred. How could I possibly reverse all that had been said and done since they got there? I had used him as my fucking shoulder to lean on! He sent someone to the shadow realm for me… He sent me Anthrax in the mail! Without some sort of constant distraction I would have no choice but to slowly allow him past my inner wall or block myself off from contact completely.

'You've never had a friend in your life, Bakura'

His voice echoed in my mind. He'd said that to me once. He was right…Until Yugi and his dork squad showed up I didn't have a damn person I could turn to. Ryou was my host…A pet. Malik was a tool. Marik was an enemy…The Pharaoh was my rival…My ultimate competition. Seto was…well…Seto. He's in his own category. Yugi jumped in and begged the fucking pharaoh to give me a chance when all was said and done. How could I not appreciate that a little?

I looked to the violet eyed Pharaoh. He was pissing me off. I was thinking about things I didn't want to think about. He was ruffling my feathers because he thought he could catch me off guard or criticize me because of it. I didn't know what he and Akefia were up to, but all I knew is that I didn't have to hate anyone anymore.

"I don't give two shits what you think Atemu. You can judge me all you want, but I like Yami." I declared, looking him seriously in the face. He looked a little alarmed. I would have too…actually, I was alarmed, because I couldn't stop myself from going on. "You can call me weak or pathetic like you used to, but you know what? You kissed Akefia, that makes you no better than me! I'm not the same person I was back then. And I'm tired of being haunted by your fucking face. I don't want the past back…I don't want you back or what I used to be. I want to stay who I am now, not matter how Akefia chides me of growing weak. I want Yami! Not you, so I can't wait until you and Akefia stop fucking with my head and leave me alone!"

Atemu smiled. That fucking bastard smiled! I swore to every god that I wanted to rip his face off. "I wasn't going to chide you. I was just asking a question Bakura. Why so tense?"

"I'm not fucking tense!" I shouted, not even noticing until my head hurt that I was pulling at my hair. "I wish you would leave already! I just leave! Both of you. I hate you both. You and my past. I hate you both! I would be just fine if you hadn't interrupted my life." I growled, shoving him into the closet door. "I didn't have to think about anything before you shits showed up and started fucking with my head. I actually got jealous over Akefia…I got legitimately mad. The second that stupid pharaoh idiot future self of yours started in on Akefia, I wanted to kill Akefia. I thought I was feeling the hatred toward Yami, but I wasn't. I realized it when Akefia played his half of your game on me."

"Oh? What game Bakura?" Atemu dared me to continue.

"What game!? What game! You two have been conspiring the whole time. Yami and I heard you in the hall! Well…I heard you. I didn't tell him because he's probably in on it too. Just like the rest of the fuckers in this group. What are you trying to accomplish!?" I growled furiously. How dare they fuck with my head like that. Once the gravity of the situation collapsed on me, I think I snapped. Having been attacked by crazy fucking kids, dragged all across the town despite injury, only to be tortured mentally by one past and fucked around with (quite literally) by my own past, having a minor mental spazz attack only to be soothed by Yami of all people…I snapped.

Without another word, I turned and left the room. I left him in shock. I passed Akefia, who looked back at me in curiosity, then in alarm when he realized I wasn't walking anymore, but running instead. I dashed for the door, deftly avoiding anyone who thought they were fast enough to intercept me. I changed attitudes so suddenly I don't think they realized I ran through the front and out the door until I slammed piece of shit door closed and kept running. I did hear the door open again. It was a fruitless effort on their part. If I didn't want to be found, I simply wouldn't be found.

Marik knew that much…Marik…shoot, I was still pissed at him too. He had deftly stepped into my bubble playing friendly with my arch nemesis. I pushed out the mental image of Marik sucking Yami's eyeballs out of his head via his mouth. I mean, that was ticking at me for a while. Marik went and made out with my enemy in my house! What the hell kinda friend is that?

But then…he wasn't my enemy anymore was he? No. I'd already established that. I turned the block, ignoring the glare that bounced off the cars on the street. It was still early in the morning, but the sun was bright on that particular side.

Suddenly the image of Akefia speaking with Yami, when Marik helped be down the stairs, came back to me. Marik…that fucking bastard…He played me on my sad little bitterness…while Akefia was clueing in the pharaoh on their glorious little plan.

"Bakura!" I heard someone's voice. I quickly determined that someone to be Seto. Only he could possibly catch up to me. He had the long legs of a born sprinter. He really should have done more running in school. He could have made a great athlete on top of being a child genius.

I didn't acknowledge him with any response. I needed to get away from any and all people in that house. This had to be one huge fucking joke on me. Or maybe I just needed time to assess my thoughts and compose myself.

Fuck it all. I should have stuck to the lonely path, I thought to myself. I did hate dealing with people. On top of that, people who had bad first impressions with me to begin with. There were a number of possibilities…They were playing me for the biggest fool of the century…I was officially going crazy and was just having a bad hallucination…or I really was being confronted and forced to face my feelings by some strange ass twisted versions of our past selves…

But why? We were doing fine! Weren't we?

"Bakura! For god's sake stop!" Seto's voice rang in my ear closer than before. I didn't want to turn around…I didn't want to break my stride. If I did then he would catch me without a doubt. Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. I repeated the mantra in my head. Why was he chasing me down? Hadn't they had enough?

"Bakura! STOP!" A second voice. Yami's.

I stopped. I breathed in raggedly before realizing that I had stopped. Seto wasn't far from me now and I broke into a sprint again hoping to lose him but his reach was farther than my legs could take me in that short time and his large hand closed around my wrist. I pulled, but he had won that round. A gust of wind drew my hair to the side in a flurry and I blinked almost horrified of the car that had passed where I would have been.

Seto gasped for air, "This is why people stop you when you run off, Bakura."

"Leave me the hell alone, Seto." I growled, upon regaining my composure. "I just want to be left alone. You knew what was going on…and you still know what's going on! You fucking bastard."

"Bakura this isn't an attack on you. Do you think we would go to such extremes? Especially me? Knowing that I care about you. Which if you think about it, that is special in itself! I don't care about people, but I do care about you. I wouldn't hurt you!"

"Lying is worse than any direct harm you could inflict on me!" Glaring from him to the approaching form, I pointed at Yami. "And you! You knew they were planning to trap me from the beginning! You know what they are and you kept it all to yourself! They speak perfect Japanese don't they Pharaoh!? I mean do you think I don't put clues together? They're not our past selves, they're incarnations of us that resemble what we were compared so what we are now! It explains why my Ring is acting up. You knew and you didn't care to tell me! I was just beginning to like you too!"

Yami didn't have a quick, haughty retort. I expected him to argue or fuss, but his voice was soft. "Bakura…I didn't think you would be able to react the same way if I told you. Our time in the Shadows was forgotten, they were created as a backup. You've figured that out, I know…but there's a reason!"

"I don't even want to hear it. You can go to hell! How was I supposed to react when you lied to me!?"

"You have to react as your heart commands, Bakura! They won't return until you do! I've already done my part; it's all on you now!"

"What's all on me!? And what have you done to make you the head runner!?"

"I'm not lying to myself like you are."

"Well at least I didn't lie to the one person who trusted me the most. Not like you did." My body shook with how mad I was at him. I'd been acting more like a psychopath in those few days than any of my previous experiences. Everything pissed me off. Akefia…Atemu…Yami…Marik…Seto…every one of them had been unwinding me and masking it with light entertainment…Making jokes at the expense of my naivety.

"Suddenly lying is offensive to you Bakura?" His eyes held that contemptuous look that always made me feel like shit.

"Fuck you Pharaoh! I've never lied to you when it mattered. I was starting to think of how much I enjoyed your presence, and you went and fucked that up too! You wonder why I've never had friends!" I started walking. Down the sidewalk, away from Seto and away from Yami. I didn't run. I just walked. They would follow me, because Yami didn't trust me when I was in one of my moods, and Seto was worried I would hurt myself. Both were reasonable.

"Bakura…what would you have done in my place?!"

"What would I have done? I wouldn't have paraded around you pretending to be concerned about you. I don't care, just stay the hell away from me!"

"I did this for a reason, you damn idiot!"

Spinning around, I stopped. "What could possibly forgive you for doing this to me, Yami!? You let them play games with me…It's bad enough I already submitted to being normal, you want to mind fuck me too?!"

"You act like I know every detail that happened! I don't! I just know what they are here for! I let them continue unstopped for a want to know why!? Because I love you! That's why!"

My whole world of barely sane…collapsed.

To be Continued….

Leo: Sorry to anyone who didn't see this coming or if you did, and you didn't want it to happen. I just don't think I could rightfully come up with a reasonable excuse as to why Bakura's past self exists with him also there, thus creating an unforgiveable time loop. I categorized this under Geminishipping with the understanding that Bakura would play around a bit, but I never saw it staying that way. You will all understand my intentions when I close this story up at the end. For those of you who still read this train wreck, thank you. I look back at it now and realize that my style of writing has changed a lot, but it's still always fun to write Bakura.

Thank you for waiting! If you're ever curious about my fanfictioning habits, please check my livejoural. I'll be tending to it more frequently from now on.