Whew, the first 3 part story was written in 1997. The previous chapter was written in March 2000... Eeeek! It has been a long time since I updated this story, heh?
I am really sorry that readers who are following this series are waiting so long between chapters. I'm just too swamped with real life and work. Plus the muse hasn't been cooperative.
However, the notes do still exist. So it's just a matter time before I get around to transcribing them into a coherent readable format. Hope it won't be too long before the next update to this fanfic.
Best Regards,
Jacque
Koh
September 2002
DISCLAIMER: Gambit and the X-Men belong to Marvel Comics. All these characters are used without permission, and I'm not profiting from this piece of fan fiction, so please don't sue me.
Cat-astrophe Redux
Day 2 - Thursday
Hank was working in the Muir Island laboratories with Moria, when Storm entered the room. "And how is the research, Henri? Moria?"
"Slow." Hank sighed despondently. "I made a calculation error an--" The computer beeped at them alerting them to an incoming e-mail.
"Urgent? From the mansion?" Storm glanced over their shoulder.
"No subject? I wonder why Scott didn't just call--"
| Return-Path: [email protected]>
From: "Gambit" [email protected]> Organization: Xavier Institute of Higher Learning To: [email protected] Priority: Urgent Subject: Reply-To: [email protected] HELP |
The three people stared at the message for a while. Storm's eyes grew wide before she dragged Hank out of his seat. They started for the communications room in a dead run, snagging Jean along the way. Moria was too curious not to follow them.
"What? Ororo? Hank? Where's the fire?" Jean spluttered as her two friends carried her between them towards the heart of the Muir island communications center.
"Your husband is going to answer to me, if he lays one hand on Remy's black coat." Storm growled under her breath by way of explanation.
"Huh?"
Kitty and Pete Wisdom were a little ways down the corridor when they saw the group. Guessing what the emergency was, Pete broke into a grin and quickly grabbed Kitty's hand to pull her into a run after them.
"Pete? What's going--? "
Brian, Betsy and Warren looked up in surprise at the crowd that came charging through the doors of the communications center.
"Excuse me." Hank wasted no time in patching a call through to Westchester.
They all gather in front of the Video conferencing equipment to have the monitor open on a scene of a black cat's tail disappearing through one door, and Scott Summers clutching a net and running into the Communications room from another.
"SCOTT!"
"Yipe!" Seeing the Muir island crowd suddenly appear on the monitor, Scott ineffectively tried to hide the net behind him.
Storm stared at him with dangerously narrowed eyes. "And *what*, may I ask, were you doing with a net?"
"Er--well--you see--Ahh -"
Jean glanced at the clump of threads and fiber that sat untidily over the crotch of Scott's pants. "Let me guess, you fell asleep with Gambit on your stomach. And he found a lose thread."
Scott's face flushed bright red as he glanced down.
"Scott, I will have your spleen when we get back, if you *dare* to de-claw Gambit." Storm told him icily.
"But he-"
"It *wasn't* intentional."
Warren was observing Betsy, as they all spotted the black cat cautiously poked its head around the corner of the open door behind Scott. A grin was creeping over her face. The expression on Brian's face was priceless. No one had gotten around to telling him about Gambit's adventures, so the current fate of the X-Men's mutant thief was nearly sending him into hysterics.
"Remy cannot help it. He has been a cat since yesterday. He has not spent this much time as a cat, since that first incident. He's bound to slip now and then."
The cat nodded empathetically to this.
"Scott, when Remy tore up the sofa, he had it re-upholstered. I'm sure he'll buy you a new pair of pants to replace the pair he ruined."
The cat stuck out its tongue first, but it nodded grudgingly to Jean's statement. Betsy discreetly covered her mouth and Warren could guess that the shiver that went down her spine was from her determination not to burst out laughing.
"So, put down that net. And leave Remy alone."
Scott turned to glower at the black cat. Remy shrunk back, prepared to turn tail and run at a moment's notice.
"Sccoottt?"
Scott sucked in a deep breath and let it out again before he leaned the net against the wall to sit down to sulk. "How did you know to call so conveniently?"
"Remy sent us an e-mail."
"He did what? How?"
They all looked at the cat as he stayed near the door, still a bit unsure about approaching his leader.
"Oh, come in and sit down, Remy." Scott waved over to the cat. "I promise, I'm not going to de-claw you." But he added in sotto voce, "This time."
"I *heard* that Scott." Ororo reminded him frostily.
"Scott, why don't you put the Cerebero helmet on the chair so that Remy can join this conversation?" Jean tried to hide her smile as she regarded her husband and the nervous looking black cat that was now walking towards the communications console.
"Will that work?"
"I don't see why not? The Cerebero helmet was built as an interface for a telepath's mind. And it'll be faster than having you translate Remy's words to us."
Scott put the helmet on the chair next to him. The audience at Muir island couldn't help but smile to watch how the cat swung a little to pull it's bottom from falling off the edge of the tiny space available on the chair after Scott had put the helmet in place. "Scott, don't be mean. Next time let Remy take his seat before you put the helmet on the chair for him. "Jean scolded her husband lightly as they watched the cat scoot into the helmet.
Words started to scroll up from the bottom left hand corner of the screen. [Testing... testing... Gambit on line.]
"Now, then." Hank announced brightly. "We didn't get a chance to talk about it earlier, so shall we discuss how this-- 'cat-astrophe' happened *this* time?"
"Don't look at me? I left Gambit sleeping with Rem-"
[Will you stop calling my cat, Gambit!]
"Remy, be fair." Try as he might, Scott just could not keep the smile out of his voice as he regained his humour. "That's the only name he answers to. Face it, your cat comes when we call him 'Gambit.'"
[That's a coincidence. Scottie, he is not a dog. Cats don't come running when you call for them. Why the hell you want to give him a name is beyond me. A cat approaches you when he feels like it.]
"Oh, that explains *you* in any case."
[What is *that* supposed to mean, Summers?]
"*You* come and go as you like it, just--like--*a* cat."
"You know, Scott does have a point." Hank rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Gambit really doesn't act very cat like in that respect. He could definitely learn from you, Remy."
A line of gibberish appeared on the screen, which the others took to be Remy generally cursing under his breath. Unfortunately, for Scott, any amusement Jean and Storm may have felt for the current situation instantly evaporated when the cat sneezed rather thunderously.
"Ack! Scott!" Jean made a face. "Please clean that helmet before I get back. I'm not putting that on my head if there's going to be cat germs lining it."
"Scott, did Remy catch a cold?"
[I'm ok-- Ahhh Chooo!]
Scott winced as the Cerebero helmet fairly shivered with the force of that sneeze. "Hang on, I'd better turn down the air conditioning. He fell in the pool yesterday."
[More like got thrown it.] Remy groused as he sniffled and started to clean his face with a paw.
"You threw Remy in the pool?" Storm stared at the squirming X-man.
"Really, Scott." Hank shook his head and tsked at the thought. "I remember distinctly telling Bobby in your presence that Remy's problem has very little relation to the fabled Jusenkyou ponds in Ranma 1/2."
"But didn't they use hot water to restore them in that show?" Kitty asked thoughtfully as the others, who were clearly not familiar with the anime, gave Hank a blank look. "Unless you guys did some renovations recently, I don't remember the Westchester pool to be heated."
"I didn't do it for that purpose! It was an accident. I only wanted to slow him down. Didn't realise the Supersoaker was going to be powerful enough to knock him in th--"
"You chased Remy with a *Supersoaker*?!"
"Er-- it was safer than my optic blasts?" Scott sank further into his seat at Storm's raging countenance. If Jean were to describe her husband's appearance, she would probably have likened it to a disarming 'kicked puppy look.'
"Ahem." Hank decided to affect a rescue of his unfortunate leader before Storm decided to brave the elements and fly over the Atlantic on her own steam. "Perhaps we could get back to the question of how Remy's mind was once more transferred into Gambit's?"
[Will you all stop calling him, 'Gambit'!]
"My dear Cajun, look at it from our perspective. Until you finally name him and get him to respond to the new name, it is the easiest reference that we have for your cat. " Hank sighed in a conciliatory voice. "When we first met him, your mind *was* in him. And look at us now, we are facing an adolescent black cat who *is* Gambit."
"It could have rubbed off, Remy." Jean added thoughtfully. "If you consider it, it could be a partial memory that makes your cat associate the word 'Gambit' with itself.
"Actually, isn't it quite a refreshing concept." Hank nodded to her. "A cat, which comes when you call."
[If you're so picky, you name him. Gambit is *my* name.]
As one, the audience looked at the black cat with an arched eyebrow.
[#@%&! You *know* what this Cajun means!] The Cerebero helmet started to pick up a pink-ish glow.
"Stop it, stop it." Storm waved her hands in front of her as she tried to hide her smile from her irate 'brother'. "Let us all stop teasing Remy, and get back to our earlier discussion?"
"Okay, as I was saying..." Scott sighed as he lounged in the chair and looked over at the cat sitting in the chrome helmet. "I left Gambit sleeping with Re--"
At Ororo's hard glare, Scott coughed and changed his words appropriately. "I mean--I left Gambit's cat sleeping with him while I went to the kitchen to get Gam--the cat's breakfast."
"Scott, why did you let a cat into my clean, sterile infirmary?" Hank looked rather put out with him.
"Look, Ga--the cat was upset, and it peed on the floor in front of the elevator. What was I going to do? Prepare myself to step into cat pee every time I use the elevator to go to the lower levels?" Scott waved his hands in frustration. "Anyway I thought Remy'd appreciate having some other company besides myself. And since Gam--the cat's been prowling all the rooms upstairs looking for Remy after he landed in the infirmary, it wasn't a long stretch for me to guess why it was distressed.
"I only left them for a short while. When I came back to the infirmary, Remy was in his cat."
"Hmmm, I definitely see a correlation of a lab, sleep, and proximity." Hank murmured thoughtfully.
[So that's how it happens? If Gambit falls asleep, or is knocked out in a lab, his mind moves into the cat for safekeeping if it's nearby?]
"That seems to be a sound theory. If I recall correctly, you were unconscious the second time."
"Yes, and the third time it happened, I was the one who was injured and in the infirmary." Ororo nodded. "Remy had come by to visit with Ga--his cat."
"And he had fallen asleep in the infirmary while watching over you. Fortunately for you, Remy, it has only occurred with this particular cat. Not any other animal."
[Whoopee. So, the next time Gambit got to stay in the infirmary, my cat is denied all visitation rights.]
"Ahhhh, a mystery solved for the day."
"By the way, how did you send them an e-mail, Remy?" Scott pouted at the cat, still faintly upset at being caught. "And how did you make them catch me in the act?"
[I can still type. My paws are bigger than the keys, but I can extend my claws to hit only specific keys.] Even over the monitor, the audience in Muir Island could tell that Remy was rather smug about his accomplishment. [As to how I got them to catch you? I timed it. Gambit didn't rise to the rank of Master Thief on charm alone.]
"You typed?" A speculative gleam seemed to shine off Scott's face. "Saayyy…"
That same gleam appeared to be reflected in Ororo's eyes as well.
[Gambit don't like the way you're all looking at him.]
"The FOH database?" Ororo rubbed her chin thoughtfully as she locked eyes with Scott.
"My thoughts exactly." Scott turned Gambit's chair towards him and knelt in front of the Cerebero helmet.
Remy realized rather belatedly, that since he was sitting inside the helmet, he was cut off from escape through the rear. Scott had him effectively cornered. Understanding also crossed his face as he picked up the thoughts his leader was broadcasting.
"Please Remy?"
[No.]
"Remy, we could use you in this capacity. The woman you'll be tailing is a sucker for ca-"
[No!]
"You're the only one who can do it."
[So I go in as Gambit and romance her! NO!]
"She's a married woman. Remy, please? If you're human, your eyes will give you away as a mutant. This way-"
[Stormy? Don't do this to Remy?] Even in a pure line of text on the monitor, the poor Cajun's consternation at being 'betrayed' was quite unmistakable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later...
Scott stopped the car, and opened the door to let the black cat with red on black eyes jump down from the passenger seat. "Remember, I'll be just outside and you can stay in contact with me telepathically. I'll come in with all guns blazing to get you if anything goes wrong. Okay, Dar-"
#Call me 'Darling' again, an' y' get it where de sun don' shine, Summers.# The cat gave him a dirty look.
"Get used to it, Remy. That's the kind of name she called her previous cats."
#Wait! Previous cats? What been happenin' t' her pets?#
"The previous two or three died. Don't know why the lady's having so much trouble with her pets, it seems she just lost another cat two weeks ago. But it does make the woman's a prime candidate to pick up an available cute little kitty who looks like he could use some tender loving care."
#And you don't think for one minute dat y' sending Remy t' his death?# The black cat glared at him, though the severity of the look was weakened by the sneeze he let loose. #One day, Gambit gonna get y' f' dis, Cyke.#
"You're hardly powerless, Remy. Besides, think of this as an opportunity. You're stuck in that body for a week, so why don't you make fruitful use of it?"
The black cat blew a raspberry at his leader.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scott watched in satisfaction as Remy went to work and very easily and quickly charmed the woman who was observing the preparation of the stage with her husband. As he and Storm had hoped, Mrs. Jacobs was taken in by the plight of the lonely looking adolescent cat that had appeared beside them to watch the proceedings too.
As the woman ooo'ed and cooed over the purring cat, Scott had very little doubt in his mind that she'd be bringing Remy home with her by the end of the day. Unfortunately, the plotters had not counted on Mrs. Jacobs being conversant with the standard pet owner's practice when picking up strays.
Scott's hands were over his mouth in mortification as he watched the woman carry Gambit into a nearby vet's clinic. "Oh dear lord, Remy's going to kill me when this mission is over."
"Well, this is quite a charming young feller yer got here, Mrs." Scott overheard the vet saying from his position under the window after he hurried over to the back alley of the clinic. "Here we go, little guy. We'll have you feeling right as rain in no time. I have something that will take care of that nasty cold for you. Then we'd better see about getting you the regular shots, heh?"
#Non! Dis can't--dey can't-- I already HAD my shots! Henri gave them to me! OOOOW!#
Scott winced as he clutched his head. He knew the telepathic scream was deliberate, and only directed at him. Er? Remy? There's at least one consolation?>
#And what's that? OOOOW! Three's enough! Three's enough! I don't want any more needles! Gambit gonna make y' pay f' dis, Summers!#
Oh come on Remy, aside from the shots, a medical examination can't be that bad.>
#Gambit like t' hear *you* repeat dat, when *you* hav' a thermometer stuck up *your* ass. 'cept-- if y' do get off havin' somethin' shoved up y' ass-- 'm gonna have t' have a long talk with Jeanne 'bout y' de toys y' own.#
Are you sure you're feeling okay, Remy?> Scott vainly tried to hide his amusement of imagining the doctor with the said apparatus up the black cat's nether regions. You just missed an opportunity to tease me about the stick up mine. What is that supposed to mean anyway?>
Y' in a rare humor t'day, Summers. And what d' y' *think* I meant?>
Scott's face blushed bright red when the innuendo finally registered. That's-- Eeeewww.>
Ha! 'Eeeew' is having this pervert here checking every orifice of this body. Least the other activity could be fun-->
Anyway!> Scott firmly interrupted the Cajun before he could begin to describe homosexual activity in graphic detail. Knowledge he knew Remy was apt to challenge Logan with when they were in the mood to embarrass anyone in the room with them. The two were undeniably straight, but they still enjoyed wicked entertainment in discussing Japanese yaoi and slash fiction; a subject that sent most of the other men running and the women eagerly leaning forward to listen in on. The blush on Scott's face was hotter then the sun at the thought.
Anyway, Remy. Look on the bright side, you've already been neutered, so…>
#Oh joy and rapture! I'm sure *dat* makes me feel all warm, and fuzzy inside. Ack, his fingers don't taste any better dan Henri's.#
"Would you like to have him de-clawed as well?"
In the alley, a big, bright smile spread over Scott's face at the vet's suggestion.
#Summers! She try, Gambit OUTTA HERE!#
Remy, we need-->
"No, doctor. That would be cruel to the poor dear? He should have some way to protect himself."
Scott crossed his arms and sulked. Darn! 'ro wouldn't have been able to blame me for that.>
#I heard dat!#
"Hmmm, his heart is pounding? E--er--
"Precious."
Scott choked as he stuffed his hand in his mouth to stop himself from laughing.
"Ah yes, Precious, must not like clinics very much." The doctor frowned as the cat's upper lip seemed to curl in disgust at the sound of his new name.
tbc
Thanks for reading. Jacque Koh