Closeness

AN: alright this is a Zelloyd fic that I just got inspired to write. I am writing this in honor of 4/20! YEAY!

This fic has shounen-ai and all that gude stuff, so don't read it if u cant handle it. Having said that, enjoy the fic!

Disclaimer: Don't own TOS at all, wish I did. Actually, I would be happy if I just owned Zelos, but I don't even own that much.

It was dark. The velvety night sky sheltered the land of Tethe'alla as it slumbered. The twinkling stars were shining brightly, their light full of hope and strength. It was a beautiful darkness. Calm and quieting. The silence was comforting like the arms of a mother around a scared child. The inhabitants of Tethe'alla slept on, dreaming blissful, innocent dreams. All except for one man.

Zelos Wilder was wide awake. He could not think of sleep at a time like this. He could rarely think of sleep. As everyone else in the little group lay slumbering around the dying campfire, Zelos sat up against a tree, not far from the campsite. The only other person remaining awake other than himself was Lloyd as he was the watchman at the moment.

Normally, Zelos would have found the darkness comforting. He could lose himself in it, hide himself in it. Yet for some reason, lately the darkness was making him feel more exposed than when the sun shown brightly on his face. Now, instead of finding solace, the darkness consumed him. His thoughts ran rampant through his troubled mind. When darkness came, instead of relaxing for sleep, he was kept awake by feelings that he didn't even know existed inside of him.

And at the center of all of his problems was Lloyd.

Zelos sighed deeply. Why did this have to happen now, of all times? As if he wasn't feeling guilty enough about everything else in his forsaken life!

Truth be told, he loved Lloyd Irving. He had struggled with it for a while now. He had tried various things to get his mind off of Lloyd – flirting even more so that he already did with new girls, even getting closer to Sheena of all people! The one girl who seemed to hate him the most. Zelos told himself that it was just friendship between him and Lloyd. Just friendship, and nothing more. Yet the more he tried to deny what he was feeling, the more persistent the feelings became.

'That bastard, Lloyd, what did he do to me?' Zelos cursed under his breath. He wanted to hate Lloyd. He wanted to be able to be guilt free, and just dump his title as a Chosen like yesterdays news. But the more he traveled with Lloyd, the more he realized just how much he loved him.

Lloyd was just so…perfect. He had these ideals – granted they were ideals that any five year old would have – and he was just so…determined. Zelos was actually starting to believe that Lloyd was someone that would be able to save the two worlds. 'Such innocence, and determination. A strange combination.' Zelos mused to himself.

And not only that. Lloyd was so trusting as well. He was able to trust people even after they had betrayed him on countless occasions. Uncommonly naïve. And cute to boot.

Zelos wanted someone to trust him like that. No one ever had before. He was always 'the Chosen' and he was expected to behave a certain way. No one had ever considered that he was a human too. Except for maybe his mother, and a lot of good that did him now.

Zelos considered himself to be pretty darn good at hiding his emotions from any prying eyes. He'd had to hide everything from everyone since he was very young, so he was quite experienced in the field. Right now though, it seemed like his emotional sensor was completely screwed. The only thing on his mind was Lloyd – how he could be so strong and brave and noble and trusting and innocent and naïve and still have such power. Zelos wanted to feel that trust, to be able to tell somebody his deepest darkest secrets, to have someone hold him when he was sad, laugh with him when he was happy.

A single tear slid down Zelos' face. 'Oh Martel, I'm crying! Me, the Great Zelos Wilder, crying' he thought, laughing bitterly at himself. What a fool he was. The greatest womanizer of all was pining away for something he could never have.

"Zelos?"

Zelos jumped visibly at the sound of his name, which was being uttered by none other than his precious Lloyd. Wiping his face to remove all evidence of the moment of weakness that he had just had, he turned to face his secret love.

"Lloyd. What are you doing over here?" Zelos asked casually, "You're not being a very good watchman you know."

"I am watching," Lloyd stated simply, "You're part of this group too. I was just seeing if you were ok. You've been gone for awhile."

"Yup yup! I'm fine! No need to worry about me, silly."

Lloyd cocked his head to the side, questioningly, "Really? Because it seems to me like something's wrong." This remark took Zelos completely by surprise.

"Why do you say that?" he asked, his calm façade effectively masking the panic he was feeling at this moment.

"Because. You were crying just now. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, or in this case eaves-see. It just sort of happened. And this isn't the first time you've been all depressed." Lloyd finished matter-of-factly.

"Bah! Lloyd maybe you should go and wake someone else for the watch, I think your brain is over tired. You're obviously seeing things." Zelos shot back.

"I know what I saw. You should tell me what's wrong. You'll feel better if you do."

"There's nothing wrong! I just came here to get some fresh air, away from the snoring of everyone else!" Zelos said defensively. This was a very strange occurrence. Normally Lloyd was too dense to ever press a situation. He must have been observing Zelos for awhile.

Zelos mentally chided himself for letting his guard down. It was a dangerous thing to do with everything that was at stake.

"If you say so," Lloyd said, looking slightly downcast, "If you don't want to talk about it that's fine too. I was just trying to help." He trailed off, diverting his attention to the night sky. Zelos was still getting over the initial shock of it all. Lloyd could be really surprising sometimes. No one ever suspected that the normally dense and oblivious swordsman could be so observant at times.

They both stood there in silence for a few minutes. Zelos was unsure if it was the silence between two comfortable friends, or a cumbersome silence that was slowly draining his life away. He wasn't sure of anything at the moment.

He looked over at Lloyd, who was still staring off into the sky, as if maybe it would provide him with some answers. He was so…beautiful, so innocent. Zelos had never thought such beauty existed before now. If only Zelos could tell him how he felt. But no, that day would never come. Lloyd turned and looked questioningly at Zelos. Zelos turned his back on Lloyd to signify that he was going to stay here a while longer.

"We should get some sleep," Lloyd said offhandedly, "it's going to be morning soon." There was no response. Lloyd sighed and turned to leave.

"Lloyd," Zelos said abruptly. 'Oh crap, what did I go and do?' Zelos thought, panicking once more.

"Yeah,"

"Nothing," he replied. Secretly, his thoughts were racing a mile an second. How had he gotten himself into this mess? It wasn't normal for the great Zelos Wilder to have these feelings. And now, he had called attention to himself once more when Lloyd more than likely would have gone away.

But then, a part of Zelos didn't want Lloyd to go. He wanted to tell him everything. But then there was that fear of being rejected, being considered a freak, and most of all there was the risk of losing the friendship that he had with Lloyd. So, he lapsed into silence once more.

"Um…You know, Zelos. I'll be more than happy to help you with anything if you're having a problem or something," said Lloyd rather quietly. He had come to stand by Zelos, and was staring at him with concerned eyes.

Zelos flopped down and propped up against a tree. "It's nothing, Lloyd. I was just thinking about…stuff." The wind suddenly picked up, rustling the trees and making the chill night air all the more noticeable. Zelos looked up to find his beautiful Lloyd shivering, though he was trying vainly to hide it. He was clad in only his red pants and a white T-shirt, having taken off his numerous other accessories so that he could sleep easier.

"Hey, Lloyd," Zelos said, an idea suddenly coming to mind, "Come sit over here by me."

"Um…ok," Lloyd responded. He sat down next to Zelos with his back up against the tree as well. Now the tree was blocking most of the wind, and it became much less chilly. Zelos felt the warmth from Lloyd's tantalizingly close body radiate from him like heat from the sun. He wanted him more now that ever. Yet, how could he destroy something that innocent?

"Hey, Zelos," Lloyd began – was that hesitation Zelos heard in his voice? "When this journey is finally finished…where will you go?" If Zelos hadn't known any better, he would have thought that Lloyd was avoiding his gaze.

"Well..I don't know really," Zelos replied, perplexed, "I hadn't really thought of it." This much was true. He'd been so focused on Lloyd, he hadn't given much thought to where he'd be down the road.

"Oh." Said Lloyd, a bit offset by Zelos' answer. Silence dominated the area for a minute, then, "Well, if you want. That is, if you don't have any other plans…you could stay…with me…" Lloyd trailed off. Now he was definitely avoiding Zelos' gaze. Zelos stared open-mouthed at Lloyd. This couldn't be for real. What was he suggesting?

"Stay," Zelos repeated dumbfounded, "with you?"

"Er…yeah," Lloyd said, his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink, "I mean, I intend to travel the new world and make sure that all the races come to terms with one another, but I mean, you're welcome to come along, you know? I could use your help and…"

Zelos watched as Lloyd continued to ramble. This was just too good to be true. Lloyd couldn't actually share his feelings, could he? Well…there was only one way to find out.

"Ugh, why does it have to be so cold out tonight?" Lloyd was saying. He must have run out of things to rant about. All the more perfect for Zelos.

"I dunno," Zelos responded, "Here, let me warm you up." And before Lloyd could utter another word, Zelos pressed his lips up against his. It was the most wonderful thing Zelos had ever felt. He had wanted this for so long, but been unable to take it. Lloyd was currently pinned up against the tree. Zelos could feel his tense body; feel him tremble, feel his unsure-ness as to how to proceed in this situation.

Part of Zelos reasoned that he should stop, because hurting Lloyd was the last thing that he wanted to do. Another part urged him to keep going, to stop denying himself what he had wanted so desperately. Sadly, the first part was the more persistent part. 'Figures I would pick this precise moment to develop a conscience' he thought irritably to himself. Zelos broke the kiss gently and looked into the eyes of his beloved.

"Sorry bout that," he said softly. Lloyd stared at him wide-eyed, their faces inches apart. Zelos knew in that moment, staring into those chocolate brown eyes, that Lloyd did indeed return his feelings. Zelos felt so elated he didn't know what to do with himself. He was hardly managing to conceal his happiness. Lloyd was apparently at a loss for words, for all he could do was stare. His face was becoming steadily redder.

At least now Zelos knew that Lloyd felt the same way. Now he could afford to be flirty.

"Tsk tsk, Lloyd. Where are your manners? It's rude to stare, y'know." This caused Lloyd to go even redder, which was quite a treat for Zelos, as the cuteness factor seemed to increase.

"Zelos…I-" Lloyd sputtered, trying to find his voice. "Why?" was all he could manage.

"Because somebody had to do it. And apparently you weren't going to, so I took the liberty of doing so." Zelos responded confidently, though he was really just glad that Lloyd hadn't shoved him away or called him a pervert or worse.

Lloyd just sat there in silence once more. He opened his mouth to speak several times, then closed it just as quickly without saying anything. Now it was Zelos' turn to stare. Lloyd was so cute when he was confuzzled. He took Lloyd's face in his hands. "You're so beautiful, Lloyd." He whispered. Lloyd blushed once more, stuttering even more incoherently, which only served to broaden Zelos' smile.

Then, he sighed. This was rather fun, yet, his precious Lloyd was uncomfortable. What to do, what to do?

The 'responsible' part of Zelos' (damn, how he hated that part) was the one to make the decision. He couldn't do this to Lloyd, no matter how much he wanted to. He pulled away slowly, regrettably…

The next thing Zelos registered in his mind was that he was flat on his back. And that there was something, no, someone on top of him. And that there was a pair of very tasty lips pressed up against his.

Zelos' eyes widened in shock. He knew that Lloyd was brave, but not this brave. Lloyd had thrown Zelos down and was now attempting (rather clumsily in Zelos' opinion) a very fierce kiss.

Zelos sat there dumbfounded for a good minute, staring upward at the closed eyes of his beloved Lloyd, feeling the touch of his skin against his. It was so surreal, that for a second, Zelos just lay there, unwilling to move for fear of ruining this perfect moment.

However, once the initial shock wore of and he came to his senses, Zelos was more than happy to participate in this little activity. After all, a beauty such as Lloyd couldn't just pin the great and beautiful Zelos to the ground and start kissing him and not expect him to rise to the occasion.

He kissed back, fiercely, passionately; letting all the emotion he had been keeping hidden all this time flow from him freely. Lloyd gasped, surprised at Zelos' suddenness. His body tensed, unsure of how to proceed. Zelos used this break in Lloyd's guard to flip him over so that Zelos was the one on top. Satisfied that he was now the one in control, Zelos let his emotions overtake him.

He ran his hands up and down Lloyd's muscular body, feeling every inch. Zelos explored the entirety of Lloyd's mouth with pleasure, savoring it completely. Lloyd sighed contentedly into Zelos' mouth, kissing back as best he could.

Zelos then stopped abruptly, pausing only to breathe in some much needed air, and remove his vest and shirt, which were very cumbersome at the moment. Throwing it to the side somewhere, he started to remove Lloyd's shirt as well. Lloyd was happy to oblige.

Having rid himself of the needless articles of clothing, Zelos felt much better, and returned his full attention to his beloved. He kissed his neck, then trailed downward, slowly making his way down Lloyd's chest. Lloyd moaned softly, entangling his fingers in Zelos' beautiful red locks.

Zelos reached the edge of Lloyd's pants and stopped. He undid the buttons slowly, teasingly, then ran a hand from the top of Lloyd's chest all the way down to Lloyd's pants where a rather telling bulge had formed. Shooting Lloyd one of his playboy smiles, Zelos continued his journey downward.

"Ah, Zelos," Lloyd moaned, feeling the warm encompassing feel of Zelos' tongue glide over his manhood. The feelings of pleasure intensified, flowed through Lloyd at a breakneck pace. He felt short of breath, gasping as sensation after sensation shot through him. Lloyd arched his back, feeling his arousal growing with each second. He closed his eyes, giving himself over completely to the man who was making him feel like he had never felt before.

Zelos persisted, his own arousal increasing in time with Lloyd's moaning. Never before had he felt like this. He wanted nothing more than to be with his beautiful Lloyd for the rest of eternity.

He massaged Lloyd's hips, stroking gently as he continued to drive Lloyd insane. Lloyd moaned Zelos' name once more and made a thrusting motion with his hips, the passion driving him mad. He thrust frantically a few more times into Zelos' mouth, and felt a wave of pleasure wash over him. He sighed contentedly and relaxed his body.

Wiping his mouth, Zelos crawled up by his love, and kissed his neck once more. "Did you enjoy that?" he said seductively.

"Mmm-hmm," Lloyd replied contentedly. He reached for Zelos, stroking his body longingly. Zelos shivered at his touch, craving more. They kissed once more, their bodies pressed tight against one another, feeling safe and content in each others arms.

"Um…I don't mean to interrupt…" the voice made both boys jump visibly. They turned, in shock to find the speaker standing off to the side.

"Presea! Aren't you supposed to be asleep?" Zelos said, trying to sound casual. Nevermind that he and Lloyd were laying here on top of one another in the middle of the night.

"I was…I heard…noises…coming from over here," Presea said, her monotone voice ringing throughout the clearing. "And Lloyd wasn't at his post…so I figured I would check it out. What are you doing here?" she cocked her head to the side questioningly, though not much interest showed in her eyes.

"Just talking," Zelos replied instantly. He stole a glance at Lloyd. It didn't look like he would be contributing anything to this conversation, as he was bright read and didn't look like he could breathe on command, much less speak.

"Talking requires removal of clothing?" Presea responded quizzically.

"In some cases," Zelos stated.

"Oh." Said Presea, still confused. "I guess this is one of those times when Raine and the others tell me not to respond to you, and just to ignore you." She added, more to herself than anything.

"Guess so," said Zelos, running a hand through his hair. Who'd have thought that everyone ignoring him would come in so…handy.

Presea turned and walked back to where the others were sleeping without a second glance backwards. Lloyd was recovered enough to speak by this time.

"This is not good Zelos! What's gonna happen now?" his brown eyes looked worried.

'What would happen?' Zelos mused to himself. He turned to Lloyd, "I don't know what's going to happen. All we can do is wait for tomorrow. You don't regret this, do you?"

"No," said Lloyd, turning a slight shade of pink again, "it's just that…what will we tell the others?"

"Dunno," Zelos said truthfully, "We'll tell them whatever we have to. We should just take things one step at a time for now."

"Yeah," Lloyd agreed. "Well, I guess we should get back to the campsite."

Zelos snorted. "Awww and we were having such fun too!" He laughed as Lloyd's cheeks turned from pink to red. "Don't worry," he added to Lloyd as they headed back to the campsite together, "everything's going to turn out fine."

Lloyd nodded. Zelos gave him one last smile and headed for bed. Lloyd woke the next person for watch (Regal) and did the same.

The morning came in no time at all. At least it seemed so to Zelos. To him, it felt like he had just gotten to sleep. Guess that was the price to be paid for staying up half the night with his beloved Lloyd. It was a price well worth it though, he decided.

Everyone was bustling about, gathering their things, preparing to continue the journey. Zelos was being his normal self, flirting with all the girls, making a nuisance of himself as usual. Lloyd on the other hand was strangely quiet. He remained abrupt and aloof the entire morning. Finally, Genis couldn't take it anymore.

"Lloyd! Come on, what's wrong? You've been acting strange all morning!"

"What?" Lloyd said, snapping out of the trance he had been in previously, "Genis, it's nothing. Just didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"Oh," said Genis.

"He's right, Genis," Presea added. "He was up most of the night 'talking' with Zelos." She then turned and walked over to assist Raine and Regal with the last of the packing.

"Talking with Zelos?" Genis asked. "What about?"

A slight shade of red graced Lloyd's face. Zelos thought this was the opportune time to interrupt.

"Lots of things!" he said, boisterously, "Lloyd talks to me, unlike you people! You all ignore me. But Lloyd's different. He's my bud, right Lloyd?" he draped an arm around Lloyd's shoulder. Lloyd laughed nervously.

"Um…yeah…whatever."

Genis shook his head, and went off mumbling stuff about idiot Chosens. Zelos leaned in next to Lloyd and whispered, "It's ok. If you don't want to tell them, we won't tell them. We can wait til whenever you're ready mmkay?" He winked and then strolled over into the main party, and proceeded to hit shamelessly on Sheena.

Lloyd smiled, staring at the red headed Chosen. There was so much more to Zelos Wilder than Lloyd had ever imagined. He hoped that he would one day be close enough to Zelos to find out everything about him. Such closeness was something that Lloyd had always wanted. Apparently, it was what Zelos had wanted to. Strange, how two people can want the same thing and not realize it.

Zelos had said it would be fine, and he trusted Zelos. Everything would be just fine.

AN: soooo what did u think? This is my first fic of this sort, did I do ok? I hope so, I thought it was pretty gude. Review and tell me what u think!

And this is sort of a oneshot, but I could make it into a chapterfied thing, if ya want. Tell me if u want me to leave it as a oneshot, or extend it k?