Okay, you know that I couldn't resist. I had to do this!

T for mild violence, maybe some future language, I don't know.

And the question is: Is Tas !gasp! The One? Let's hope not.

But...

Please review.

Romen

Summary: You take the blue pill, the story ends, and you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want. You take the red pill, and I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Tee hee. Guess which pill Tas chose? Angst for Zion and the crew of the Nebuchadnezzer.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada. Zip.

Chapter One:

Follow Instructions

Tas rarely fell asleep on the job. In fact, it was something that he never, ever did. He was always too busy waiting for something interesting to happen. However, on a boring day like to day, he couldn't help himself but catch a few Z's.

Besides working in an office answering telephones, Tas also had an illegal hacking operation inside of his home. He enjoyed meeting all of the shady and unique customers that he met. He couldn't help himself. Raistlin came by very often, and it was a great way to keep in touch with his friend, who didn't like giving out personal information such as his e-mail address, house address, or telephone number. Tas wondered why.

The kender rolled over in his bed, suddenly remembering that he wasn't in bed; he was sitting in his desk chair. He caught himself just before he hit the ground, grabbing onto the back of his rolling desk chair as it swung around violently. He knocked all of his knick-knacks and papers off of the desk, watching as they scattered across the room. He even bumped into his mouse, making the "Heroes of the Lance" screensaver disappear. He shook his head, climbing back onto his seat and staring at the screen with a blank expression.

Life was so dull. Even his side-job wasn't providing the entertainment he needed. He wished that something out of the ordinary would happen, something so unpredictable and so unreal that it would blow his mind.

And then, it happened!

The screen went black. He blinked, leaning forward and hitting the back of his monitor a few times.

"What a piece of junk," he muttered. "I paid good money for this too! What system is this? I should complain."

Suddenly, words appeared on the screen.

Wake up, Tas...

Tasslehoff frowned. "I am awake." It suddenly dawned on him. "Ah, I get it! Fizban must have finally learned how to instant message." He put his hands on the keyboard, typing hurriedly.

What's up, Fiz? N e thing new?

The Matrix has you, Tas...

This was odd. Fizban must be giving him some kind of riddle. He was a very clever wizard. The kender chewed on his lip before typing his reply.

I don't get it. Give me another clue.

Follow the white rabbit.

Tas sighed, giving his head a small shake.

How many times do I have to tell you, Fizban? Cut back on all of the pipe weed you're ordering from Middle-Earth. Give me a better clue.

Knock, knock, Tas.

This is a knock-knock joke? Hey, I have a really good one. Knock, knock.

At that moment, there was a knock at the door. The kender scowled, slipping from his chair and trotting over to the door, pulling it open.

It was one of his customers. He smiled. "Hey, what can I do for you?"

The draconion shifted, his ugly girl-friend staring straight ahead stupidly. "You know."

"No, I don't. What's your name, Sir?"

"Glug."

"Ah, Glug, now I remember. Hold on one moment." He turned on his heel, hurrying over to a small chest in the corner and sorting through the contents. "You know, I always get you confused with Gluck or Ugh, or sometimes Mug and Jug. Those twins sure are a doozey. Here it is." He ran back to the door, dropping the purchase in a small plastic bag that said "Thank You" on it in big, bright, red letters. "Here you go, Mr. Glug. I hope you enjoy the merchandise."

"Yeah well...Technically, it doesn't exist, right?" He stopped sorting through his pockets, pausing a moment before snapping his fingers. "You know what, Tas? I seem to have forgotten my wallet. How about I pay you back by buying you a few drinks at the club tonight." He tugged at the gaudy white rabbit charm hanging from a necklace. It looked like something he had impulsively bought at a thrift shop for fifty cents.

"Gee, thanks! Let me go get my coat!"

(Space)

Tas frowned. He hadn't thought that they were going to a draconion club. He couldn't even dance in one of these places for fear of being stepped on. Besides, draconion men were completely indistinguishable from draconion women. He sighed, leaning back in his arm chair. Life sucked.

"Hello, Tas."

The kender started. A woman stood before him, her hair slicked back and in a black outfit. She looked very conspicuous. He grinned.

"Hello. My name's Tas, but you already know that. What's your name?"

She frowned. "You know."

"That's an interesting name. Then again, my gnome friend had a really strange name too, except it was very long."

Her face flinched before she pointed to a WANTED poster on the wall. Tas frowned, observing it.

"Did you know you look almost exactly like Trinity? I always thought she was a man, but I suppose I was wrong."

"I am Trinity you incompetent kender!" She quickly regained her composure, slipping into her same blank expression as she walked over to him, kneeling down on her knees so she could be at his eye level. "I know why you came here. You're looking for him."

Tas craned his neck. "I don't see anyone."

"You're looking for him," she repeated, shutting her eyes. "I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when I found him, he said that I wasn't really looking for him, but that I was looking for an answer."

Tas yawned. This was starting to sound like some scam to trick him into buying something.

"It's the question that drives us, Tas. It's the question that brought us here. What is the question?"

"Uh..." The kender hesitated. "Where's the restroom?"

"No, that is not the question, Tas. You know what the question is."

"Ah, you must have been the one on my computer! I thought you were Fizban. Let's see...I know; what is the Matrix?"

"Yes, Tas." Trinity nodded gravely. "The answer is out there. It's looking for you. And it will find you, if you want it to."

With that said, she walked away.

TBC...

I know the lines aren't exactly the same, but this IS A SPOOF. And besides, it's a DL fic anyway.

Review! I know you want to. Your hand is just itching to click on that small button...Do it man. You're not strong enough. There's no use in resisting.