Standard disclaimer applies. This is the silliest thing I've ever written for a fic.
Once upon a time, there were three little Nazis. They sat in their underground bunker in Brazil and laughed and played until finally it was time for them to make their way into the world.
The first little Nazi went into the world and carved himself a bloody niche right at the top. He lived in a big building with many guards and people who told him that he was the best thing since apple strudel.
One day as the little Nazi was working his way through another batch of strudel, there came a knocking at the front door. The guards looked out and saw The Big Bad Vampire and they rushed to lock the door and keep him away.
The Big Bad Vampire called out, "Little Nazi, little Nazi, let me in."
But the little Nazi had taken his strudel and run away to hide with the second little Nazi, so The Big Bad Vampire blew up the little Nazi's house of straw and followed after.
The second little Nazi had built himself a beautiful laboratory where he could perfect his art of gifting immortality on the unwilling and grow prize-winning cabbages in his hydroponic gardens.
The first little Nazi arrived, panting, with his strudel in tow. "The Big Bad Vampire is coming. Let me in!" And the second little Nazi let him in and they prepared for The Big Bad Vampire's arrival.
They watched on the video monitor as The Big Bad Vampire made his entrance, killing every guard and hapless lab assistant until finally only the two little Nazis were left hiding in a special vault with carefully reinforced walls and doors.
The pounding at the giant metal door was deafening. "Little Nazis, little Nazis, let me in."
But they had taken the special back door escape route from the panic room and were already well on their way to the lair of the third little Nazi.
The third little Nazi had no time for ruling the world or making new creations. He had carved out his home in the inside of a mountain and existed there in silent contemplation of the ways in which the world could most efficiently be razed.
The two little Nazis came to the great gates to their brother's underworld and said, "The Big Bad Vampire is right behind us! Let us in!" They received no response and were glancing over their shoulders at the approach of a fearful black shadow when the gates slowly slid open enough to let the second little Nazi slide through. The first little Nazi had to squeeze and squish and eventually even leave his precious strudel behind to fit through the crack.
The door closed with a slam.
The great shadow of The Big Bad Vampire fell over the third little Nazi's mountain. "Little Nazis, little Nazis, let me in." But he received no response, because the third little Nazi wasn't the talkative type.
For days The Big Bad Vampire explored for an entrance that he could use, but the third little Nazi was a clever builder and had left no weaknesses to exploit. He pushed and he prodded, he huffed and he puffed, he fumed and he glowered, but he could not bring the Nazis' house down.
Finally he left.
A few days later, a delivery was made to the third little Nazi's home. A package of strudel was left outside. The first little Nazi opened the great door and scuttled out to retrieve the treats.
And inside the third little Nazi's stronghold, The Big Bad Strudel opened red eyes and feasted on the would-be feasters.