DAY 9 (NM)- I'M FUNNY
Hey guys! I finally updated, sorry, but I was busy. Anyways, I got the next 10 chapters (including this one) all planned out. This chapter is pretty short though, so take your time...
INSIDE THE SHIP'S SECOND FLOOR!
Louie woke up and found Olimar already up and doing something over at his desk. He didn't care about that and instead he went to his all-time favorite place: the KITCHEN. He felt better since yesterday, and that was a good thing for him, but not for the ones who hate him (everyone else). He opened the fridge and looked inside. Spiders and dead ants were littering the place. There was no food.
Louie: Oh, dammit...
He searched through the cupboards but still found nothing. Then he decided to go over to Olimar and ask him where it was.
Olimar: Yes, I have food, but I'm not gonna give it to you yet. Earn it, idiot.
Louie: Whatcha doing?
Olimar: Checking where the rubber ducky might be now, after sinking on the sand. Now go away, I need silence and concentration for this.
Louie: Sign up for yoga, man.
Louie went away and sat down on the sofa. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV after stealing the electric keyboard's batteries and switching them with the remote's. He was flippin though flippin' channels and flippin' watching them by flippin' opening his flippin' eyes. Nothing interesting though.
Olimar: So OK, this is where the darn thing sank. According to my calculations, the exact opposite is this inhabited house. There is an obvious 50 chance that it is located there, and the other 50 chance is the Navel Forest.
Pod- MORNING!
Olimar: SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!
Pod- Good morning to you, too.
Olimar: OK wait, there is actually a 49.99 chance that the rubber ducky is at the house, and a 50.01 chance that it might be somewhere in the Navel Forest. But that is insignificant.
Pod- I never actually got what percentages are.
Olimar: Not impressed.
Pod- I'm good at algebra, though.
Olimar: Very impressed.
Louie finished flipping though flippin'- OK I'm not gonna go over this again. He finished watching TV and went over to Olimar's desk. He sat down next to him and looked over Olimar's shoulder and at the paper with all the math on it.
Olimar: What you doing?
Louie: Watching-
Then the chair collapsed beneath him and he fell to the floor.
Louie: Oops.
Olimar: That was my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandma's chair that she got from her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandpa! AND YOU BROKE IT! THE THING WAS ABOUT A TRILLION YEARS OLD AND YOU SMASHED IT WITH YOUR ABOVE AVERAGE WEIGHT! WHAT ARE YOU?
Louie: A desperate Hocotatian trying to gain some respect.
Olimar grabbed a leg of the chair and threw it on Louie's head. Then he kicked him out of the room and sat down to work again. Now Louie was thinking about what he would buy with all the money they made.
Louie: Let's see... A three-story, 2-acres wide mansion with over 100 bathrooms and kitchens... Yeah... A front-yard 1,000 feet wide, and a backyard twice the size of that... YESSS... A swimming pool, a movie theater, a concert hall... Bowling, B-Ball courts, Soccer fields... My own cooking show, my recipe books, and an artificial SEA in front of my mansion to get fresh fish! YES! I'll be filthy bloody rich and famous! Everybody's gonna know me as the most successful cook ever! I'm gonna own billions of restaurants all over the world! Pubs, snack bars, even hot dog stands! YEAH! Yo Pod homie, how much money we made since we here?
Pod- Umm... Over 2,000 Pokos.
Louie: YAHOO! I can get even more stuff with all that!
Pod- You'll have to share it with Olimar.
Louie: I'll body-slam him first!
Back in the soon-to-be-body-slammed Olimar's room...
Olimar: Gawsh. Back to my calculations... POD!
Pod- Yo dawg.
Olimar: Get us to the Navel Forest and land near this cave right here.
Olimar pointed at a spot on Navel Forest's map. The Pod seemed to understand and the ship started to make its way there with the three Onions following them. Olimar went back to his room and on the way he found Louie clipping off his toenails. Olimar reached under his bed and at a piece of cake that he hid from Louie. He ate it all and went back to the main room.
Olimar: We're going to the dark scary place.
Louie: But-
Olimar: No buts.
Louie: Ass-
Olimar: No asses either.
The ship landed and the two leaders put on their suits and walked for the door. Olimar got out while Louie tripped on his way there.
OUTSIDE!
Olimar: Partner, get out 10 whites and 15 purples. I'll get 35 reds, 20 blues, and 10 blacks.
The two got the Pikmin and Olimar started to look around. There was no cave in sight.
Olimar: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO LAND NEAR THAT CAVE!
Pod- Well, it seemed like there was no way to land there because the ground wasn't flat enough. Big deal, walk a little, work out. You need to move those legs and get some exercise, man.
Olimar ignored the Pod and lead the army of 90 Mins towards the cave, which was still pretty far away. On the way there they met many enemies but Olimar just walked past them, without bothering to kill them.
Louie: Why you ignoring them enemies, Captain?
Olimar: I wanna get to that cave quickly.
Louie: NICEE...
The Pikmin were chatting amongst themselves.
"Hey guys, did you ever wonder why we're here, why we're doing what our leaders tell us to do, why we're obeying them, why we were born, how we were born, how-"
"No."
"The question here is, have you ever wondered what would happen if one of the leaders would sit on me?"
"You'd be flattened. DURR..."
"Aufferstay, what are the chances..."
"And it's not too bad either. I mean, Blue Leader sat on me once."
"That was before his belly went WHAM."
"Yes. But Red Leader farted on all of us once, remember?"
"Yeah."
"My name is the most common in the universe!"
"Shut up, Mohammed. Or I'll force Hilary to sing."
"NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! HILARY SUCKS!"
Way in the back, a faint but angry voice was heard...
"I heard that!"
"NEED... CANDY..."
"Yo Petey dawg! Ya been working on those ----ing lyrics I taught you?"
"Yeah G!"
"Yeah! Ya better have 'em ready or I'm gonna beat your ass and kick ya out of my hood!"
"Yeah! Rock on J-Kwon!"
"BOOO."
"Hey Sonic, nice shoes. Where you buy them?"
"These are the shoes that Sonic The Hedgehog first used on his first adventure. That was the year 19XX if I remember right. And I do, I must. What a day, it will remain written in those pages for history. I bought these at the Sonic store in Sonic Land, which was first introduced in Sonic's one-thousand-three-hundred-forty-fifth adventure, 'Sonic And Pinocchio'. The game was released on the year 122XX, and the Hocotatian version was released three and a half months later-"
"OK OK!"
Olimar was still searching for the cave while starting at the map of the area. He went right, left, through bridges, past enemies, and all sorts of stuff. According to the map, they were getting closer and closer to it.
Olimar: I feel uncomfortable just at the thought that you, parter, are commanding so many Pikmin. We should split them up a bit better... I don't want anything to happen. OK?
Louie: OK that's it, this is sexual harassment. I'm tired of it. NO.
Olimar: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Louie: Yeah, sure, whatever you want, Captain...
Olimar split the Pikmin up evenly and gave 15 reds, 15 blues, 5 purples and 5 blacks to Louie. Olimar now had 20 reds, 5 blues, 10 whites, 10 purples, and 5 blacks.
Louie: This is unfair. What did I do to get only 40 out of 90 Pikmin?
Olimar: You broke that chair.
Louie: Which chair?
Olimar: My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandma's chair that she got from her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandpa's chair. Duh.
Louie: Oh, that... Hehe...
The Pikmin were still chatting.
"Hey guys, I don't feel very safe here... And you guys shouldn't, either. Our current leader is Heaven Leader..."
"You should feel safe if what you blues called him is 'Heaven'. Blue leader is basically a killer. We'll all die."
"This is sexual harassment."
The Pikmin behind Olimar were talking, too.
"OK, let's see... Out on the field are 7 red No Names, Joe, Bob, Sonic, Aufferstay, Jack, Tyler VI, Lance, Red Matthew, Mohammed, Kaelyn, Conner, Jaime, Will, Maxwell, Annette, Chloe, Ken, Natasha, Kelly, George II, Stephanie II, Jason II, Katherine II, Alexander II, Angelica II, Roy II, Elizabeth II, and Hannah II. Red leader is currently commanding the 7 NNs, Joe, Bob, Sonic, Aufferstay, Jack, Lance, Red Matthew, Mohammed, Kaelyn, Jaime, Will, Maxwell, and Annette. Blue leader has the others. That's it for reds. Blue NN #12, tell us about the Blues."
"Yeah, there are currently 20 Blues out, J-Kwon, Petey, and all the other 18 are NNs. Hell leader has J-Kwon, Petey, and 3 other NNs. Heaven leader has the rest. Whites?"
"10 out, Robert, Leonard, Jesse, David, Junior, John, Brian, Derek, Vikram, and Max. All behind Red leader, I'm out. Purples?"
"We got 15, Red leader has Eric, Evan, Laura, Zach, Zachary, Josh, Ed, Ricky, Marco, and Cecilia. Blue leader's got Carla, Vanessa II, Jessica, Polly, and Ryan. Blacks?"
"Dudes have five each. We got no names so yeah. Done."
Silence.
"What was THAT all about?"
"I dunno..."
Olimar looked around and then at the map. There was supposed to be a cave in front of them. And there was.
Olimar: Pod, analyze this shit.
Pod- This shit is full of weird gases inside of it. Luckily none of these gases can or will harm you in any way. The cave only has 4 sublevels, but each one is very big... And my sensors indicate that it's full of treasures. Especially the last sublevel... Well, go in it, there is a big chance that there's the rubber ducky, so move it move it!
The Pod used the traditional 'push' and Olimar and Louie, followed by the army, fell down and into the cave. The Pod slowly hovered inside of it. Da da DUMM!
THE FIFTH CAVE- GAS CAVE
Everyone landed on the hard ground. Olimar and Louie stood up and then got a strange feeling. Then they started laughing for no reason whatsoever.
Olimar: HAHAHA! GHAA! MWUAHAHAHA! HAHAHA!
Louie: HAHAHA!
Pod- Are you two OK?
Olimar: HAHAHA! I- HAHAHA! I DON'T KNOW WHY- WH- HAHAHA! WHY I'M HAHA LAUGHING! HAHAHA!
Louie: HAHAHA! CAP- CAPTAIN! HAHAHA! ARE YOU OK- HAHAHA! ARE YOU OK!
Pod- Hmm... I analyzed the air and discovered that there's lots of laughing gas in it. You two are affected by it. I and the Pikmin are not. So anyways, look for that thing. Come on, stop laughing.
Olimar: HAHAHA! OK- OK LOUIE! LET'S GO LOOK FOR THAT- HAHAHA! THAT -MWUAHAHAHA! THAT RUBBER THINGY! HAHAHA! HAHA! MAKE IT STOP, PL- PLEASE! HAHAHA!
Olimar and Louie started walking while still laughing. The Pikmin behind them looked scared.
"Umm... Why are these fruits laughing? They are scaring me."
"They might sit on me, that's why I'm scared!"
"Shut up, you."
"Me."
"Yes, you."
The two leaders were going both in a different direction. Olimar turned to Louie while laughing his butt off.
Olimar: WHERE- WHERE YOU- HAHAHA! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? HAHA!
Louie: I'M GOING- HAHA! I'M GONNA TAKE A PISS! HAHAHA!
Olimar: HAHAHA! THAT'S- THAT'S NOT FUNNY! HAHAHA!
Louie: THEN WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING, MAN! HAHAHA! I'M FUNNY, AIN'T I! HAHAHA!
Pod- You suck.
Louie did what he did and went back to Olimar. Together they went towards a group of Snow Bulborbs.
Louie: LOOK! HAHA, LOOK! LITTLE POOR DESERTED SNOW- HAHA! SNOW BULBORBS! LET'S- HAHAHA! LET'S KILL THEM! HAHAHA, I'LL KILL THEM WITH MY- HAHA, MY JOKES! THEY'LL LAUGH TO DEATH!
Olimar: MWUAHAHAHA! NO- NO, DON'T! YOUR JOKES- YOUR JOKES SUCK! HAHAHA! OH, MY STOMACH! HAHAHA! IT'S ANNOYING! HAHAHA! OH- HAHAHA!
Olimar threw a Pikmin at he group of Snow Bulborbs. The lone purple that he threw sat there, all alone, after stunning the three enemies. Olimar and Louie just kept laughing.
Louie: HAHAHA! LOOK- LOOK AT THAT GUY! HE LOOKS SO- SO INNOCENT! HAHA, AND HE JUST- JUST KILLED THOSE THINGS FOR NO REASON- HAHA! NO REASON! HAHAHA!
Olimar: YOU'RE- YOU'RE RIGHT! HAHAHA, LOOK AT HIM! HAHAHA, ALL ALONE- ALONE! HAHAHA!
The lone purple sitting on the Bulborbs was talking to himself.
"Why are those two fruits laughing at me? I'm gonna kill them. What did I do?"
Olimar and Louie threw more Pikmin at the Snow Bulborbs and all three of them died. One of them left a treasure behind. Olimar went over to it and swarmed the army around them and the Pikmin carried it under the light that the Pod made. The treasure got sucked in.
Pod- Umm... This thing is worth 200 Pokos, I shall call it the Regenerated Crap. There.
Olimar: RE- REGENERATED CRAP! HAHAHA! THAT- THAT- HAHAHA! THAT NAME SUCKS! HOW ABOUT- HAHAHA! HOW ABOUT-
Pod- Shut up, dammit. Look for the duck.
Olimar and Louie, closely followed by the army, walked past the Snow Bulborbs' carcasses and towards a clearing. While going there, Louie couldn't take it and fell down and hit the floor. He was laughing too hard.
Louie: HELP! GHAAAA! HAHAHA! I CAN'T- CAN'T TAKE IT! HAHAHA!
Then he started saying random things and whistling inexistent orders to the Pikmin behind him. Unluckily though, some of the random whistling really existed...
Louie's whistle (translated)- Kill yourself.
"WHAT?"
"This guy ordered us to kill ourselves! What should we do?"
"Just do it. We'll all be reborn again anyways."
The Pikmin behind Louie suddenly just blew up by themselves. They all died. Olimar slapped Louie.
Olimar: HAHAHA! YOU FU- YOU IDIOT! YOU ORDERED THEM TO KILL THEMSELVES! DUMBASS! HAHAHA! THAT'S- THAT'S NOT FUNNY, IN THE- THE NEXT- GHAAA! HAHAHA! NEXT SUBLEVEL I'M GONNA- GONNA KILL YOU! YOU'RE DEAD NOW- HAHAHA!
Louie: GHAAAA! THEN I'M- NEVER GONNA GO- HAHAHA! GO DOWN THE CRACK ON THE- FLOOR! CRACK! HAHAHA! I'M CRACKING UP! GET IT- HAHAHA! GET IT!
Olimar: THAT'S HAHAHAHAHA NOT FUNNY! HAHAHA NOT- NOT AT ALL- HAHAHAHAHA! GHAAA!
Pod- 40 deaths... Move it!
On the clearing were many enemies. More Snow Bulborbs, a sleeping Red Bulborb with its back turned against the two leaders, and a couple of Skitter Leaves. Olimar and Louie pointed at the Red Bulborb's big butt and laughed.
Louie: LOOK AT THAT BIG THING! HAHAHA! IT'S SO BIG!
Olimar: E- HAHA, ENORMOUS! GHAAAA!
Louie: I BET IT'S FAKE!
Olimar: PLASTIC SURGERY OR SOMETHING! HAHAHA!
Louie: HAHAHA!
The threw the 10 purples at the big butt and the Red Bulborb instantly died. It left behind another treasure. They, while laughing, swarmed the Pikmin at it and after carrying it back, the Pod made that boring speech again.
Pod- 150, the Requested Spoon. No objections or you get the trash can on your head. All the treasures are gone here, get down onto the next sublevel.
Olimar and Louie killed the Skitter Leaves and the Snow Bulborbs and fell down, laughing. BAM!
SUBLEVEL 1 OVER: DAY 9 (NM)- I'M FUNNY
Yeah, short. Oh well. As I already mentioned, I got the next 10 chapters planned out. The FanFiction white is coming on the next chapter, so don't worry! Oh, and please, no more 'Become a Pikmin'. Please, enough, man. There's gonna be a surprise on the next few chapters, so I'll try to update! And you guys, please review. The more you review, the bigger chance you'll have that you'll be included on the surprise... So review! K, I'm almost done here. Umm... KirbyXtreme is here to remind you to REVIEW THIS FANFIC!