Title: First Lady
Author: Sera (MahouBunnyBell)
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Yaoi, humor
Pairing(s): Roy/Ed, implied Al/Winry
Warning(s): Ed is a bit of a potty mouth, and I'm not sure the whole thing makes much sense. Written spur of the moment for the stealandsparks fanfic contest's light theme. I really am not all that pleased with the end result, but it will do.
Rating: PG-13

Edward Elric happily devoured the food that the waitress had just sat down in front of him. It wasn't often that his lover would take him out to eat (Roy's reason for this being that his wallet couldn't take doing it very often, with how much Edward ate), and so he intended to enjoy this for all it was worth.

Of course, this led him to absently wonder exactly what Roy was up to. He had to be up to something. He only bothered to take Edward out in public when he needed to butter his young lover up for some reason.

Edward finished off his plate of pasta and looked over at the man sitting across from him, who looked oddly nervous at the moment. Hell, last time he wore that expression was before informing Edward that he was about to launch an overthrow of the government and become the Fuhrer himself.

What the hell was he up to this time? It's not like the man could raise any higher, right? Edward decided that he wasn't going to wait to see what his lover had to say.

"I recognize that look, Mustang. What the fuck are you up to this time?" he questioned dryly. Roy, of course, managed to look as if nothing was out of the usual.

"What look, Edward?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That LOOK! The same one you wore when you told me that you were gonna go and risk your life to become Fuhrer, you asshole!" Edward exclaimed. Why the hell did he stay with this infuriating bastard anyway?

...It probably had something to do with the fact that he loved the arrogant dick, or something cheesy like that.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Roy insisted. What a total lie

Edward growled and glared across the table at Roy, silently insisting that he KNEW the dumbass was up to something, and would find out eventually. It's not like Roy could hide much from him anymore.

Roy sighed. He might as well spit it out.

"Edward, I was wondering... We've been together for awhile now and... well... Would you like to move in with me?" Roy asked. Edward just gaped.

That hadn't been what he'd expected Roy to say. Maybe something about some annoying mission or Roy about to go conquer the rest of the world, but not an invitation to move in with the man.

"...You're kidding, right?" He asked, not able to think of anything more intelligent to say at this point. Hell, what could he say?

"Not at all, Edward. We have been lovers for several years, and I believe it would be the natural course of things for us to cohabitate at some point. And now that Alphonse has moved in with the Rockbell girl it seems like the perfect time to bring it up..." Roy explained.

Edward looked thoughtful. It was true that now that Al and Winry were living together he was left in need of some companionship in his day-to-day life, but Roy didn't really expect him to move in with him, did he?

The man was the fucking FUHRER for crying out loud!

"You do realize," Edward began, "That having me living with you will make our relationship much harder to keep from the public eye."

Roy shrugged.

"They'd find out eventually, with the way the press has been trailing us lately. It would be better if they would out like this instead of with front-page pictures of the two of us going at it." the man reasoned, "Besides, Edward. I love you. I don't intend to hide it anymore."

Edward smiled, and then he nodded. After all, how could he resist a reason like that coming from his lover's lips?

"Fine, old man. I'll move in with you." He agreed.

"What? You've agreed to move in with Mustang, Niisan?" Alphonse asked, as Winry choked on her glass of water.

"...Yes. I have. Is there something wrong with that?" Ed asked, glaring slightly at his younger brother and childhood friend. Honestly, was there something wrong with wanting to live with his long-time lover?

"Well, Ed, he IS the Fuhrer... The news of a MAN -one fourteen years younger than him, at that- moving in with him will cause quiet the stir, right?" Winry pointed out. Edward scowled. Did she think that he hadn't THOUGHT of that little fact?

"I know that! And everyone will just have to deal with it, because that arrogant bastard loves me and wants to be with me and isn't going to hide it anymore!" Edward exclaimed. Alphonse and Winry both sweatdropped.

"All Winry is trying to say is that things might get a little more difficult for you and the Fuhrer, Niisan. I mean, until now you two have kept your relationship rather low-key. The stress of bringing it out into the open so suddenly might not be good for you..." Alphonse reasoned. Ed merely growled and shook his head.

"Do you have ANY idea how long I've been waiting for that asshole to stop pretending our relationship isn't there? It's a good thing that he's finally going to suck it up and tell the world that he is my willing sex-slave!" Edward gloated, appearing to totally miss his little brother's point about the whole thing.

Why did they have to rain on his parade anyway? He knew that being the official, live-in lover of the most important man in the military wasn't going to be easy, but he was willing to TRY, damn it!

Besides, in many ways it would make things easier. He wouldn't have to watch his lover go out on dates with various women 'just to keep up appearances' anymore. They wouldn't have to be so quiet when they wanted to spend time together. Hell, now they would be able to sleep together every night, to wake up in each other's arms.

Yes, it was all going to be worth it, if only for that fact.

It wasn't worth it, Edward decided not long into his first day living with Roy Mustang, it just wasn't worth it. Even if it had been extremely pleasant to hear Roy telling the guards outside his mansion that yes, he WAS supposed to be wandering around like that, as he now lived there; and even if the looks on the guard's faces were totally priceless, it just wasn't worth it.

His asshole of a lover had to leave for work early in the morning and he was currently left alone in the Fuhrer's mansion, unsure of what to do to entertain himself. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was the newspaper he had picked up to read had his picture on the front page.

Along with a caption that he SWORE somebody would die a painful death in retribution of.

After all, he may tend to be the so-called "woman" in his relationship with Roy, but he DID have some masculine pride.

This was about the point that the Fuhrer arrived home.

Roy Mustang took one look at his enraged lover/housemate and sighed. He had foreseen this reaction the moment that he had seen today's headlines.

"...Edward, you have to calm down. It's not THAT bad." He insisted, trying to sooth the angry young man.

"Not that bad, Roy? They called me the new fucking FIRST LADY!" Edward raved, waving his arms around in the air in an outrage. Roy merely smirked.

"Well, you have to admit... that article WAS pretty amusing. Especially when I think about that time I actually got you into a miniskirt. You would make a decent first lady..." He mused. Edward twitched and glared at him.

"You are SO dead, old man."

END