Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Warning: None yet.

Monophobia

Get drunk in life and do your best. When time's due, you won't regret a thing…

Or so the 'elite' jounin ninjas, the Anbu had said, once the elders approved of me and made my status official. I did do my best and did get as drunk as possible that day; I was so pissed-drunk that I managed to knock down a couple of people and garbage cans while actually trying to avoid them and fell on some random pole that left a dent on my headband and forehead. It was dizzying, and I kind of liked it.

"I won't regret a thing," I repeated out loud. Then giggled with loud, echoing, girlish "hee hee hee"s. I would not regret that I'd ever been so drunk in my life, I thought. My vision wavered less as kyuubi tried to clean the mess in my system, and I saw more and more of the glittering stars overhead. Like those fireflies; glitter-bugs; glitters. Great. Glitters. And I laughed again, until my stomach hurt and tears filled my eyes.

"Dobe. What are you laughing about?"

For a short moment, I thought Sasuke was calling me. Maybe he was towering over me, like the time he had trampled past me to grovel and kiss Orochimaru's ass. What was that about? I should have just let the bastard go. Why did we fight?

"Oi—what the hell's wrong with you?" Did he just grab my collar? Am I actually being lifted off the ground?

"Wha, Sa…Sasss…keh? Huh?"

"Get up, you stupid fuck. You're heavy."

"Don'… call me that…Heeheehe…eh…heh…"

Hehehehe, Sasuke, you're not evenreal, are you?

Then I saw Sasuke frown crossly. The three point sharingans swirled like a tempest before my eyes. My laugh died into a silly smile. Hm.

Sasukelooked like he was about to cry, then to yell at me again.But he just slapped me across the face.

"Get a fucking grip, Uzumaki. I need to talk to you." Oh boy, fake Sasuke was angry.

"I don' wanna… I'ma… I'ma here to drink ma liiife…" I drawled, but he punched hard me this time, his fist colder than the bitch-slap.

"Owie... Saaaassskeee…"

"Wake up, dammit, wake up." He grabbed my arms quickly, shaking me harshly. Damn, his fingers felt disgusting. They were all thin and wiry against my shoulders, trapping me in a spider like grip. His eyes bore holes on me, the red bleeding eyes that made me wonder just then,

"What… Sasuke? You're not fake?"

"What? No, Naruto. I need your help. Wake up, dammit. Please?"

"Alright, I'ma up. I'ma up, just stop…shakin' me…" And I blacked out completely.

A/N: --;; Sorry I couldn't make a very good drunk Naruto.

I've never been drunk in my life, so uh. I can't portray it very well. Anyway. This is going to be an on-going fic…so this chapter was prelude type-o-thing, I guess. Sorry it was short.

Isshi