Prologue: Complications

Naruto stood in the forest, completely confused.

It might have been the fact that he could see his mangled body on the ground, or maybe the fact that the world looked slightly blurry, but it was neither of those things.

The third Hokage smiled at him, "Nice to see you again, Naruto-kun"

Naruto just gawked, his brain still not quite working properly.

Sarutobi took notice of Naruto's stunned state, "I know your confused right now, but don't worry about it, you'll understand soon enough, as soon as Jeff gets here."

Naruto shook his head, "But….I….the mission….Sasuke….you…..oh god….."

The boy suddenly got a haunted look in his eyes, "Sasuke…..he killed me, didn't he?……"

"I'm afraid so," said the third, but his tone was light, "but don't be ashamed for a moment. You fought a battle the likes of which even I have never seen, so no blame could ever be placed on you."

Naruto smiled a tiny bit, "No, I'm still to blame, but I suppose it doesn't matter anyway now."

The boy slowly walked over to his body, the outlines looking slightly blurry, but the huge hole in his chest readily visible.

"All my life spent training, and look how I ended up, forget Hokage, I wasn't even a Chuunin"

Sarutobi smiled again, "You don't need to worry, Naruto-kun, there's a reason you are still," he gestured around, "here."

Naruto looked at him oddly, "Yeah, shouldn't I be surrounded by mountains of ramen and beautiful girls? I was always told that after you died, you went to a place where are your wishes came true."

The ex-Hokage was impressed with Naruto's relatively calm state of mind, but just shrugged in response to his question. "I've never been to heaven myself, but I know some people who have, and it's great place from what I hear, but in our cases, there are…….. complications."

Naruto suddenly looked frightened, "I'm not going to turn into a vengeful ghost, am I!"

Sarutobi just laughed, "I've never heard of any of us becoming a vengeful ghost, but we do occasionally interfere with the lives of mortals"

Looking around, and seeing they were alone, Naruto raised a disbelieving eyebrow, "You said 'we', where are all the other people who've died then?"

His response was a sigh, "I told you, you'll understand when…"

The air around them started to warp and shift, and Sarutobi smiled, "ah, perfect timing."

Suddenly, a huge form materialized, and Naruto looked in horror at the monster in front of him. It was humanoid in shape, but an enormous white robe and long white hair concealed most of its body. What skin that was visible was a light purple color, contrasting against the creatures blood red horns.

It reached a clawed hand towards him and Naruto recoiled, closing his eyes. A moment later, when nothing happened, Naruto reopened them to see the things hand still held in the air, just a few feet away.

The thing gave him a fanged grin, "It's a pleasure to meet you at last, Naruto-kun. The names Jeffery, but you can call me Jeff."

Lost in a somewhat surreal state, Naruto reached out and shook the gigantic hand, "Nice to meet you to…..I guess…."

"I know your mind is probably running in circles right now, but try to stick to one question at a time," Jeff advised.

"Um…" Naruto look hesitant, "what ARE you?"

"Good question, actually. I'm a Shinigami, or rather, THE Shinigami."

"Shinigami?" Naruto asked, "as in the being who controls death?"

"Bingo!"

"So then, what exactly do you want with me?"

"I'm also the one who empowers the Shikifuujin."

Naruto looked lost, "Aaaaaannd?"

Jeff sighed, "What? Do you think I just give away my strength for free? In exchange for the power of the Shikifuujin, any soul affected by the seal belongs to me."

Naruto looked nervous again, "So just because I had the stupid fox put inside me, my soul belongs to you? And for that matter…where is the stupid fox? I don't feel his presence at all"

"Well, to answer the first question," Jeff said, "yes, your soul is mine, and as for the fox, he annoyed me, so I sent him to hell"

The boy gulped, "hell…?"

Sarutobi cut in, "Don't let Jeff scare you, He only sent Kyuubi to where the demon can make himself useful. "

Jeff nodded, "Exactly. And you, Naruto, are most useful here."

Naruto he let Jeff continue, "As the Shinigami, I am in charge of managing many things. Most souls who owe me a dept end up working at heaven's help desk or in another such menial job until I think they've earned their release."

Jeff took a breath,

"The shikifuujin, however, is so devastating, that sometimes a greater payment is required. I have personal agents, but am never allowed more than two. When a person marked by the Shikifuujin dies, I can either send them to a regular job, or replace one of my two assistants"

Understanding dawned on Naruto's face as Jeff went on, "Sarutobi here replaced the first Mizukage as my left hand when he died, and the ex-fourth Hokage held the position at my right until just 20 minutes ago, when you joined the ranks of the deceased"

Naruto sighed, "your kidding right? I die and am immediately drafted to be your minion?"

Jeff wagged his purple finger, "No, I decided you would be my right hand long ago, and besides, the fourth Hokage held the position for years, and really should have been relieved before now. I just kept him on because he had the right personality for it, as you do."

Naruto looked at Sarutobi, "You've been working for this guy?"

"Yes, indeed I have, Naruto-kun. And I suspect you may enjoy your job more than you think."

"I agree," Jeff said, "I would not have selected you if I didn't think the job suited you."

At this point, Jeffery started to preach about tasks and personality traits that worked well in them, but Naruto was distracted.

What appeared to be two disembodied arms were pulling themselves along the ground towards Sarutobi's back. They moved slowly, but persistently, and neither Jeffery nor Sarutobi seemed to notice.

When they were just a few feet behind the third, one arm picked up the other and hurled it upwards. The second arm latched onto Sarutobi's ear and the man immediately started yelling and shaking his head, trying to dislodge the appendage.

Finally, the ex-hokage just grabbed the arm, but got smacked twice while hurling it into the forest. He turned quickly, and caught sight of the second arm trying to drag itself to safety. He picked up the fleeing second arm and gave it a firm drop-kick in the opposite direction of the first.

Jeff looked slightly affronted at the interruption, but Naruto just blinked, "What were those?"

Sarutobi sighed and rubbed his cheek, "Orochimaru's arms. Since the rest of him is still alive, his arms just sit here in limbo waiting for the rest of the body to die. They have somehow managed to gain some form of intelligence and attack me once every couple days."

"Ahem," Jeff said, "as I was saying, I think it should now be obvious why I picked you for this position, wouldn't you agree, Naruto?"

Having missed Jeff's entire speech, Naruto just nodded.

"Good," the Shinigami said with satisfaction, "then you'll have no objections if we start your first lesson now. I think a demonstration is in order."

Jeff turned to Sarutobi, "If you would do the honors…"

The aforementioned man grabbed what looked like a long beaded necklace off his waist and threw it into the air, "Hyuuga Hizashi! The left hand of death summons you from the darkness!"

The beads snapped into a perfect circle with a diameter of about 6 feet and started to spin in the air. A moment later, a blue flame appeared in the middle of the circle and started to grow. In only a few seconds, it grew to a significant size and took on a human shape. The beads started to whorl and wrap around the human shaped flame until all of its appendages were entwined, the arms, legs torso and head all were wrapped.

Sarutobi clapped his hands together into a seal Naruto was unfamiliar with, "ANIMO MANES!"

The beads sunk into the flaming form, and in a flash of light, where before there had been blue flames, there was skin, and where there had been only a vague human shape, there was a distinctly outlined body. One that just happened to look exactly like an older form of Neji.

Hizashi blinked at his surroundings, "Dammit, Jeff! Why do you always use me for your demonstrations!"

Naruto was looking on in awe, "I've gotta learn that…."

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Meanwhile, in Hell

"Welcome, lost souls!" Kyuubi delightedly bellowed to his crowd, "Now, I've been put in charge of you folks, since all of your sentences end at about the same time. Most of you will get out of hell in about 167 years, and it's my job to make sure that by then, your rehabilitated"

The demon stood in front of a huge stereo and dexterously grabbed a CD from behind it with his tail and slid it into the tray. The demon grinned happily.

"Since the method of torture is up to me, I've decided to be creative. I hope you all like to mmm bop, because as of right now, our Hanson marathon begins!"

A few pitiful moans came from the crowed, and one man cheered.

Kyuubi glared, "Whoever that was, you're now transferred to rehabilitation room 13c, the rest of you, get ready for 167 years of all Hanson, all the time!"

As the music started, the demon started to bob his head to the beat. Now, if only he could get that cute succubus to dance with him…

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Authors Notes: Expect updates on this story about once a week or so, depending on the reactions I get.

Apologies to Hanson fans (If there actually are any)

Hit the review button! You know you want to…

Animo Manes (Latin) - Give life to the shades(souls) of the departed

It's pronounced a-nee-mo man-ez, with a soft E in Manes