Me no own GW. And here starts a complete redo of Fighter. Because I just came back to this story and realized that I kinda hate it. It won't be much different, just tweaked a little.

Relena was tired of waiting.

The clock beside her kept in time with the tapping of her. She could see Hilde watching her. Up and down, up and down...

It had been hours since the attempt on her life and try as he might, Milliardo couldn't blame Heero for the close call this time. He was protecting Sylvia and had technically saved her life, but his protection wasn't needed. Sylvia, a true Army brat, could take care of herself.

Relena, however, couldn't.

The voices inside the Preventer's conference room rose and fell. Arguing about her while she was sent out of the room like a child to be babysat by Hilde. One voice cut through the murmurs sharply. Recognizing it as Heero's and realizing once more how terribly she had failed him, Relena looked down, shamefaced.

"Don't do that," Hilde snapped from her seat across from Relena.

"I'm sorry," Relena said automatically. Sorry, sorry! She was so damn sorry! Her words of apology, of condolences and compromise that came to her so easily failed her now. She was hollow with excuses but couldn't find it in herself to want forgiveness from these people anymore. "I just can't believe this happened again. You think that people would stop trying once they realize the Gundam pilots are on my side."

Are they really? The snide comment slid through her consciousness quick as lightning, a self-deprecation too slippery to hold onto but to real to let go.

Hilde glared at her. "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't need to depend on Heero all the time to rescue you."

Relena stared at her. This girl used to be her best friend. Now at eighteen, the relationship had frayed, Hilde leaning more heavily on the other girls...Dorothy, Catherine, Noin, Sally...

They were only together when she was not there. The grand epic friendship created between all of them during the war was nothing more than a fairytale, nothing more than wishful thinking on her part again. Will I ever stop living from dream to dream?

Apparently, Relena had not yet wiped the shocked look from her face, for Hilde now looked dismayed.

"Relena, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that!" But, yes, of course she did. Relena knew Hilde, knew that she said what she thought and consequences be damned.

"What?" Duo said as exited the room, followed by the rest of Relena and Sylvia's guard. Hilde immediately stood up, facing Lady Une. Relena rose a little more slowly, catching a brief glance from Trowa, all concern and comfort laced with the bitter tinge of disappointment.

She wanted to scream. She had excelled in every area of her life except erasing the basic, fundamental damsel-in-distress instinct that made up every politician's daughter. They wanted her to be so much stronger than she actually was. They wanted her to get up on the pedestal they had placed so high above her. She was just a pretty bunch of expectations from them, not the person they had once treated her as.

Une was speaking in that careful steady voice that Relena hated so very much. "Relena, we've been going back and forth over this for several weeks now actually. You're a very high-profile person and the stands you take in the political arena means there will always be some sect out there who will want to bring you down."

Purely by accident or instinct, Relena's eyes flitted to find Heero. He was staring at her impassively and when her gaze met his, he flicked his head to Une. Relena clenched her fists and turned back to Une.

"We think it would be best if you learn some self-defense, first and foremost. We can hire the best trainers in the world. The next time this happens you can be prepared."

"But why can't you just teach me?" The words bubbled out before she could stop them. Her voice didn't sound right in the air they breathed, her former friends and allies. Une made a slight tilt of the head and Duo shifted on his feet. Quatre looked down at his feet, his own special brand of apprehension. She was saying something that in their world, this world they – the Gundam pilots and their girls – had created in which she was a much-loved guest, was very wrong.

She was outsider. She had no part in this. This them. When had this happened? When had all of this fractured from the beautiful fairy tale into them and she?

"I'm not quite sure I understand what you're saying," Une said softly, earning her an incredulous glance from Milliardo.

Relena wasn't going to say it. She wasn't going to ask why they, who were supposed to be her best friends, weren't going to help her. She wouldn't grovel for their attention. She was Relena, Queen of the World.

So she took it like a queen.

She shook her head and agreed with Une's plan, said the proper lines, then excused herself, using her oft-used and never-question excuse of unfinished work. Yes, of course I'll be here tomorrow, Quatre. He gave her a concerned look at her nonchalant answer to his query but did not ask. She couldn't think of the last time he had looked at her and asked how she was doing.

She stared at all of them, standing together, one last time, and smiled. Smiled because she loved them and they were breaking her heart. Smiled because she was going to fix it. Even if she had to do it all by herself.

Heero frowned at her smile and straightened.

She turned gracefully, indicating no anger with body language, and walked of the Preventer building, out of her cage, her prison, out of them and their lives.

She sat in her car for a full five minutes, more than enough time to formulate, to plan, to strategize and reason and be so. damn. sorry.

Heero entered and as per usual didn't say anything for most of the way home. They both stared straight forward, rigid in their seats.

Once upon a time, there was a story-book girl and a little soldier boy who were best friends.

"He could've killed you."

And the girl loved the boy so much that she let it twist her life into a tangled mess.

She bit her lip. There was a peculiar burning behind her eyes.

Then the girl grew up and the boy told her that she was no fairy tale princess and she never would be.

"Killed you with one finger."

And that grown-up girl? Well she was just so very sorry, but she thought her heart was breaking. So she went away to fix it. And the little soldier boy never guessed she wasn't coming back. But that grown-up girl with all her happy endings ripped out never did.

The end.

"STOP!" Relena yelled at car lurched, then continued smoothly. "Shut up, Heero, just shut up!" She wiped her eyes but there were no tears there.

"Why?" Heero questioned. "You need to hear deserve to hear this."

Relena snorted. "Do I really?"

"Yes," Heero said. She looked over at him. His hair had fallen over his eyes, head slumped down into one of his hands. Heero looked, in a word, vulnerable, and it made her furious.

How dare he feel unprotected, he, the one who was so cold and so hard and was still loved to a degree that Relena could never get?

The car rolled to a gentle stop and Heero reached for the door. For once in her life Relena was quicker than him and hit the 'Lock Doors' button.

"What are you-"

"So how did it feel?" She slid closer to him, her voice a hiss. "To see that I was actually human? That I could actually or falter? Did it hurt?" She was not even an inch away from him.

"Yes." The answer was so real. So much truth in one simple word. Heero, the one person she had always trusted to see her as more than a symbol, was the same as everyone else.

"I thought so."

She saw her hands reach up to stop her from bolting from the car, but she was already gone, blurring under his fingertips.

She could understand their need to educate her in self-defense. That was logical and perfectly sensible. And she would learn how to. But not under their watchful gaze. Not those who just see her as another expectation.

A sudden flash of the disappointment in Trowa's gaze rose up and Relena slammed the door behind her, desperate to put something in between her and the world outside. She wasn't real out there, not anymore, not to them, and they were the only ones who mattered.

The pictures soon scattered over the floor. Duo and Quatre, sandwiching her in a hug at her seventeenth birthday party. Hilde and she laughing at a completely plastered Catherine. Trowa, his arm slung around her shoulders while walking out of work. She and Heero in a rare moment of silliness, both hunched over with the force of their laughter. The photos spanned and catalogued the last three years of her life. Her eyes sparkled and laughed in the light of her friends.

The last picture she flipped to in her badly assembled scrapbook was taken a mere two months ago. A group shot of all of them. Hilde, Duo, Wufei, Sally, Quatre, Dorothy, Catherine, Trowa, herself, Heero, Milliardo, Noin. Relena stared at herself in the picture. Never had she seen eyes so silent.

A sudden banging on the door woke her from her reverie. Heero was shouting.

"Noventa's in trouble! I've sent for guards but it'll be a few minutes so stay-"

"I KNOW!" She screamed, and Heero fell silent. A muttered "Stay safe" flitted through the frame and then his pounding footsteps echoed away.

Her outburst robbed her of a few seconds, but her mind was already packing things away in her small suitcase. Soon her actions followed and Relena was racing down the stairs.

Pagan stood at the foot of the grand staircase, waiting. Relena slowed, her fingers loosening a little on the handle of the suitcase.

"Sylvia's not in trouble, is she?" Relena said softly, approaching him.

"No, miss," He said. "I just figured you could use some time away from Mr. Yuy." His gaze slid down to the baggage in her hand and his eyes widened under his bushy eyebrows. But Relena knew Pagan was not going to tell her to stay.

"Take care of the house." She said, grabbing her car keys.

"Yes, miss."

"I'll miss you, Pagan." She said truthfully, looking back at her butler, her friend, with tears in her eyes.

Pagan looked steadily back her. "As I,Relena." He gave her a quick hug. "I love you like a daughter, miss, always remember that. I shall be here waiting."

"I'll come back." Relena promised, then disappeared out the back door.

"I know." Pagan sighed to the silence.