Epilogue
When she woke in the morning, having finally trained her body back into a normal sleeping pattern, she was vaguely aware that the steady bleep of the heart monitor. She had let it lull her for several days, waking to a heart beat that wasn't her own, a sound that filled her with dread and yet assured her that he was still alive. In the darkness of the Infirmary during the designated night, she sometimes unsteadily crossed the short distance between their beds just to reassure herself that the machinery wasn't tricking her, that he was still alive and hadn't slipped away when nobody was looking. That would be just his style; he might play the brave and bold soldier, but given the chance, he'd always make a quiet exit, trying to remain unnoticed. She spent hours watching him when she couldn't sleep, turned on her side, just gazing, waiting, for something, anything, for him to jump up and say it had all been a joke. She was still alive. So it would take a while for her to get back her strength, get back to any sense of normality, but she was still here. So he had to be. Had to be.
Elizabeth had been unconscious for nearly a week, as if her body had forced her into a self-induced coma to protect her, to ensure she would recover. Everything running at the bare minimum, just enough to allow the healing process to begin. She'd been awake for just over a week, beginning to get more and more frustrated at her own frailty. There wasn't even a trace of a wound where the energy had struck her, though she wasn't sure whether that was due to it healing when she was unconscious or not. Her mind, she told herself, was working perfectly well, just her body had betrayed her and was determined to keep her from moving or doing anything that might threaten her recovery. She wondered just how much damage John had done to himself; she had merely been struck and was in such a state, he had discharged so much energy…she had no idea he had been capable of such a thing. Was every person with the Ancient gene just without the knowledge to perform similar feats? She was determined to extract a binding promise that, if he still knew how, he would never risk himself again by using the locked power he held. If he woke up. Which he had to.
She could no longer sense the presence of Amarante in her mind. Even the memories she held had started to fade, though she could no longer distinguish them from distant memories such as those of her early childhood. They were a part of her that she couldn't say were somebody else's memories. It was as if she remembered being exactly herself, as she was today, and not someone else, not the Athenian girl she knew she had been. Elizabeth hated herself for hoping that the consciousness of Nikomedes was gone from John's mind, that she would have the man she knew back, not the lover she fondly remembered. She wasn't certain exactly how she would react if he awoke as Nik. She remembered all of what had occurred before they had both…died. Yes, Carson had told her they had both been dead, their hearts had stopped, before their numerous attempts to revive them. The doctor had told her everything when he thought she was strong enough to hear it. Her consciousness had been so much blended with Amarante's at the time of their death she had felt as if she was speaking every word, experiencing every emotion as if it were her own. Maybe they had been. She couldn't distinguish between them. She wondered if it was the same for John, would ask him, if only he would wake up.
Elizabeth peered across at him again as she turned the page of her book, the bleep of his heart monitor now a permanent presence in her mind; she was sure she would know if it stopped even in her sleep. The silence would be deafening. She turned the page again, yawning, annoyed that she could suddenly get tired just reading a book. Elizabeth stubbornly continued to read, determined to at least finish the chapter.
When she next awoke, it was late in the afternoon. She stretched, belatedly reaching out to catch the book as it fell to the floor with a clatter that echoed round the room.
"Careful."
Elizabeth stared across to the next bed, to see John sitting up, watching her. It had initially taken her two days to even consider summoning the energy to sit up and there he was just… Part of her wanted to throw herself across the room, to hold him and not let go, but, she reminded herself, she was an adult and such behaviour at this point might just scare him back into a coma. Plus, she wasn't quite ready to face the shooting pains through her limbs she knew would accompany the action. So she settled for just staring at him, not quite able to get her mind to form an adequate response short of the emotional extremes of breaking down or laughing with joy.
"You okay?" John asked, coughing, his voice not quite right. He saw the hesitant look on her face and carried on. "It's me, John… You okay?"
The immediate response of 'who else?' suddenly didn't sound so funny in her mind. "I should be asking you that." Elizabeth sat up.
"All intact." He tried a smile. "So the Doc says. Battered and pretty much broken, got a long way to go, but I'm still here." His smile broadened, contrasting with how he looked, like he just gone ten rounds with a bulldozer and lost. "And so are you."
She smiled. "And so am I."
He looked down for a moment. "Do you remember…"
"Everything?"
John nodded, gritting his teeth as shooting pains ran down his neck."Everything?"
"Everything," she confirmed, voice unusually soft and almost shy.
He yawned, clearly tired already, though she didn't know how long he'd been awake. She wondered why she hadn't woken at the commotion she was sure would have occurred when he regained consciousness.
"Could've told me you used to be an Athenian," he quipped.
Elizabeth considered throwing her pillow across at him, were it not so comfortable. "Could have told me you were an Ancient."
"Spoil the fun…" He sank back down into his bed, pulling the blanket up around him, wincing in pain.
"Careful. You might want to keep still for a few days," she offered, concerned.
John muttered a curse, remembering the surge of energy flowing through him. "…I had no idea I could do that, you know…the glowing thing..."
"And you're never doing it again."
"Ever?"
"Ever."
"Not even party tricks?"
"No."
Both were silent for several long minutes, wondering how exactly to continue. Neither wanted to make assumptions, based on the past or the present. One memory in particular was very dominant in both their minds, though neither dared to raise the issue.
"What happens now?" John was first to speak, quietly, as if already half-asleep. He forced his eyes to remain open, determined to stay conscious.
"I don't know," she answered.
He decided to brave the topic. "…Do you regret it?"
Elizabeth glanced across at him again. "No. I don't. Perhaps that's strange and maybe it would be best to forget it, but I don't regret it. Do you?"
His answer was more simple. "No."
She had spent many hours trying to decide whether she had truly had no control during their…interlude. It certainly hadn't felt as though she was being forced or controlled and she was scared to admit to even herself that perhaps Amarante's consciousness had been in the background for longer than she thought. She wasn't about to ask if it had been the same for him, not when she didn't know herself. But she didn't regret it…and somehow it didn't even worry her.
"So…" John exhaled. "What now?" he repeated.
"I guess…we see how things go. I think we're destined to spend a few more weeks in here. Then we get on with life. Maybe when things are a little less confusing… I don't know, John, I honestly don't know. I just…"
"Don't want to have us throw ourselves into something." He nodded, yawning again."…And It'd be nice to know we could walk more than a few metres without falling over before we even shuffle toward anything." He smiled back at her. "Right?"
Elizabeth returned the smile and nodded once, silently.
He drew the blanket tighter around himself. "See how things go. I like the sound of that." He shut his eyes. John immediately opened one eye and grinned at her. "Was pretty amazing though."
She tried to muffle her laughter and shook her head in mock dismay. "Yes," she replied, not trusting herself to say any more.
He closed his eyes again. "Maybe in the next life," he mumbled, sleepily.
"Don't even joke..."
Fin