Disclaimer: JKR's

A/N: No offence is intended. The whole thing is written from Draco's point of view. Not mine. All of you may link back from your sites, if you wish. I would appreciate it if you e-mailed me first.

Letter From a Wrathful Draco

Fans,

Look, all of you. I don't know why you are doing all this to me, but I do not appreciate it. Let's get this straight before people actually get mixed up about who the hell I am

First. My eyes are GREY. Ok? They're not "silvery blue" or "icy blue with a tiny hint of silver blended into them". They're fucking GREY! Meaning, they do not turn "a sweet shade of blue" when I'm in a happy mood.

Second, I am not GAY! I do not like Harry Potter in anyway. I have no interest in Potter's sexual life. I don't care about what you do to him, he might be bisexual, gay or whatever the fuck that comes to your twisted mind. He might be even a pervert who goes fantasizing over a sodding werewolf's body, but I am fucking straight!

Furthermore, I do not wear leather pants. Please! I wouldn't wear leather pants if I saw Granger begging me to fuck her if I did. Mark that down too.

I do not lust after bushy haired know-it-all mudbloods. No, don't get me wrong. I do not lust after the Grangers who have suddenly turned into sex goddesses, or suddenly have had a make-overs, or who turn out to be purebloods, either.

If you want me to get together with her, be realistic and stop showing me like some lovesick puppy. I do not beg. I do not plead. If I want something, I get it. Simple.

Whatever you people might think, I was not second best at classes. I have no time for studying my brains out. Yes, I am outstandingly clever and talented and have all the other characteristics of a pureblood, which a mudblood shouldn't have of course, but I have more important things to do rather than to study.

I might be top ranked at potions, but I am one hundred percent positive that all of you know why. AND NO, I DO NOT LIKE SEVERUS SNAPE AS ANYTHING MORE THAN A TEACHER. If I see any of you writing anything about me and him, I swear to Merlin, it isn't going to be for your own good.

Also, Pansy Parkinson is not a slut. She is quite a nice girl, and we are only friends. Stop using her as an item to get me and Granger together. She isn't a bitch. She doesn't give blow-jobs for the hell of it. She is a perfectly normal teenager, who has perfectly normal hormones for her age. Stop trashing her.

Another thing. Dumbledore would have never made me Head Boy. Think of all the choices he had. Harry Fucking Potter for once. The 'Hero', the boy-who-lived. – Not 'the leader of the golden Gryffindor trio', by the way- . Do you really think the muggle-lover would have chosen me over him, unless there was some really logical reason for it? Also there is the Weasel of course, even Macmillan.

Now, Blaise. He is an interesting character really, whom I can't really give much detail on right now, but there is one thing I can say; he is not my best friend. We do not wear charm necklaces with "Best Friends Forever" written on them. Be realistic. For your own sake.

'Quidditch did not do wonders of me'. Yes, I know I have an irresistible body, but don't give all the credit to Quidditch. Look at Potter, he also is a seeker, and his body isn't half as built as mine.

Find some other reason to why Granger and I ended up together other than me being a Sex God, because I am not. Also, Granger is not 'stunningly gorgeous'. She is pretty alright, but 'her curly golden locks don't fall onto her shoulders and shine in the dazzling sun'. She has bloody frizzy, or bushy, or whatever you girls call it hair. Get over it.

Well, yes. That is all I have got to say for now. If you disregard any of the things I mentioned above, I shall know of it, and trust me, you won't be awarded.

Now, I need to go and get ready for my date with Granger. How we ended up together, now isn't that something you would just love to know? But I'm not telling you, hah! At least until all of the mistakes mentioned above have been corrected.

Now, be a good girl and help me spread the word, to all of those who are currently damaging my reputation in the wizarding world.

Sincerely,

Draco Malfoy