Last night II
"Bow to me!"
Before, when Sirius had died, Remus had felt like his soul had been torn into pieces. He'd been broken, like a doll, and every night, another piece of him would crack again, becoming harder to heal, harder to mend.
The only thing that had kept him going was the thought that Sirius was waiting for him. Sirius was waiting for him, and he was counting on him to look after Harry, making sure he wouldn't be broken, like he was.
Then he'd started seeing him. Feeling him. Every night after he'd gone to sleep, he'd feel that blasted hand, smoothing his forehead, calming his fears. He'd feel that cursed weight on his bed.
And he knew. He knew that Sirius had come.
But every night that Sirius wouldn't speak, wouldn't stop, wouldn't wake him, hurt him more than anything he knew. Everyday, the bitterness had grown: until Harry had asked.
"Why aren't you in mourning?"
Startled at first, he'd asked himself. Surely, Harry could see that he was hurting? That he was in pain? But then he knew. He knew why, and he knew how.
" 'Love-is anterior to Life-
Posterior-to Death-
Initial of Creation, and The Exponent of Earth-' "
He'd smiled then, and he smiled now.
Vaguely, he realised that there was wetness crawling down his cheek.He put his hand to it; then he realised that it was blood.
His own blood.
He'd kept his promise to Sirius. The final promise, the unspoken promise.
The promise to live on.
And he had.
He had, and now he was going to see Sirius once more. And he wouldn't be spoilt, and he wouldn't be tainted, and he wouldn't be dark.
"No."
Opening his eyes, his amber, golden, beautiful eyes, he looked at the hideous creature which had killed them all, killed their lives. The one that had threatened to put him on a permanent Imperio, rendering him an eternal puppet to the darkness, to the shadows.
And he smiled. Because he hadn't. Not really.
And he pointed the wand at himself, and said in a clear, ringing voice.
"Avave Toxiqus." 1
And then there was no more.
For the two halves had become one.
1. To poison through the veins. A spell I made up...seemed appropriate, since you can't use the Avada unless you're thinking evil thoughts, and swords just seemed too messy.