Title: Dialogue
Author: Eurothrashed
Feedback: Yes, please. E-Mail address in bio.
Disclaimer: Yes, I own Jack; in a world where the sky is green, the grass is purple, and Hillary Duff is due to sing a duet with Alice Cooper.
Rating: Pg-ish
Summary: My take on two overused J/E plot-devices. Dialogue writing exercise.
A/N I adore Elizabeth's father! The two plot devices are #1 something happened on the island and #2 Elizabeth ends up with a bouncing baby pirate.

"None of the good Commodore's men blocking the exits or laying in wait... I'm surprised. Very, very surprised."

"I gave you my word. Unlike some, I say what I mean and mean what I say."

"Touché, Governor, but you can't blame a man for lookin' out for his best interests, especially when said interests are very aesthetic."

"No, I cannot. However, I don't deal with pirates regularly, do you think that you could, for the sake of my sanity, pretend to be the upstanding gentleman that your vocabulary loosely hints at?"

"No promises, mate. I'm out of practice."

"Then, is it safe for me to assume that in regards to my daughter's safety, even your duplicity has its limits?"

"Why? She didn't go an' get herself kidnapped again, did she?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Why did you send for me?"

"Because she wouldn't."

"You're enjoying this."

"I'm an old man, Captain Sparrow, and only growing older; I take my enjoyment where I can find it."

"Still doesn't tell me why I'm here."

"Nor was it meant to."

"Being vague and irritating s'my job, mate."

"Humour me. I'm breaking every rule I have just by sitting here in conference with you."

"Conference?"

"Yes, I find that it sounds better than consorting with the enemy."

"You make it sound like we're on different sides."

"Aren't we?"

"Get to the point, Governor; I'm a busy man."

"Yes, I would imagine that commandeering naval vessels, sailing under a black flag, and declaring war against the Crown is a time consuming profession."

"You have no idea."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. From lengthy talks with Elizabeth, I have been able to glean that piracy is more of a way of life than an actual trade."

"She wouldn't be wrong."

"On matters close to her heart, she rarely is."

"As lovely as sitting and chatting with old acquaintances is, the clock's ticking, an' I'm a wanted man. Savvy?"

"You're right, of course, Captain Sparrow. There is no tactful way to say this, so I'll just say it. Elizabeth is with child."

"Is she? Where's the happy couple so I can congratulate them?"

"I am afraid that Mr. Turner is not the father."

"He's not?"

"No, and Elizabeth refuses to marry him. She says that it wouldn't be fair."

"Does she know who is?"

"Yes."

Lengthy pause.

"S'me, innit?"

"Yes."

"Well, damn."

"My thoughts exactly."

"This complicates things."

"Just so."

"You're bein' awfully calm about this."

"Elizabeth has had more than a month to talk me down from sending the entire Royal Navy after you and raising the bounty on your head to astronomical heights, Captain Sparrow. You should thank her. Profusely."

"I'll make a note of it."

"See that you do."

"So, what is it that you want me to do?"

"That isn't the question you should be asking."

"It isn't?"

"Oh no, because what I want, is for you to be hanged at the neck until dead. No, the question you should be asking, is what does Elizabeth want you to do. I suggest that you go speak with her and find a way to salvage what is left of her reputation."

"An' if I don't?"

"Astronomical heights, Captain Sparrow. If nothing else, another illegitimate child won't be the only complication in your life."

"Just wondering. Governor, her becomin' Mrs. Captain Jack Sparrow isn't going t'do much for her reputation."

"Of course not! How laughable! I highly doubt that Jack is your Christian name, or piracy your only... way of life."

"Jonathan. And I used to be a cartographer."

"Then that is who she will marry."

"I hope you're not expectin' me to walk the straight an' narrow."

"I would no sooner expect the Commodore to turn pirate."

"Then how - ?"

"And Elizabeth says that you're intelligent. In prearranged marriages, the bride and groom rarely see each other or even know what the other looks like before the wedding day. So, saying that my daughter is marrying a fairly well off cartographer who keeps to himself, isn't that much of a stretch."

"Keeps to himself?"

"Yes, well, If you shared your surname with an infamous pirate Captain, wouldn't you?"

END