Disclaimer: I don't own The OC or any of its characters, etc.
Summary: Set just after The Chrismukkah That Almost Wasn't, the Cohens+1 have a family holiday to New York to visit the Nana.
I had fun writing Lockdown and I got good responses, so I thought I'd try another one. I've never been to New York before, so I can only apologise about my geography because it's bound to be wrong! I hope you like it.
"Have you got the tickets?"
"Yes."
"All of them?"
"Yes."
"Including the boys'?"
"Yes."
"And the taxi is booked?"
"It'll be here at one."
"Have you packed enough sweaters?"
"Yes."
"Because it's going to be cold, you know."
"I know."
"We don't want to be cold."
"We won't be."
There was silence for a moment.
"Maybe I should check the tickets again."
Kirsten reached the bag before Sandy did.
"Sandy, you've already checked three times. If you unpack this bag again, I swear to God, I'll leave you behind," Kirsten scolded.
Sandy pouted and Kirsten sighed in exasperation.
"Why don't you check on Seth and Ryan? The last time I saw them, they were distracted by the playstation," Kirsten suggested.
Sandy's eyes grew even wider than usual. "They're not packed?"
He spun around and rushed out of the bedroom, towards the house. Kirsten shook her head. This was going to be a long holiday.
Sandy walked quickly through the house towards the sound of computer games coming from the family room.
"Seth? Ryan? What are you doing? Go and get ready!" Sandy yelled at them as he came through the kitchen.
They both looked up in surprise.
"We are ready," Ryan frowned. He had already told Kirsten that, hadn't he?
Sandy paused. "You are?"
Seth and Ryan both nodded.
"Are you sure you've got everything? Plenty of sweaters? Trousers? Underpants?"
"Dad, don't say underpants," Seth groaned.
"Yeah, everything is packed. Our cases are by the front door," Ryan answered Sandy's question.
"Oh."
"How come we're going to visit the Nana anyway?" Seth asked. "We never go visit the Nana."
"Well, she wasn't sick before," Sandy countered bitterly. "And I doubt you bothered to visit her while you were gone over the summer?"
Seth looked away, feeling guilty. It was true; he had barely contacted his parents over the summer, let alone his dying grandmother.
Sandy softened. "It's been a while since I've had chance to see her either, what with everything that's happened with your grandfather."
Seth chuckled. "Just wait until the Nana finds out about what grandpa's been up to."
"And you're not to tell her," Sandy ordered. "Your mother is upset enough, without having to listen to the Nana's opinion on the subject."
"How is Kirsten?" Ryan asked.
Since the big Chrismukkah reveal, Kirsten had reduced herself to pretending that everything was "fine" and she dismissed her family's concerns by insisting that she was "ok". Ryan guessed that if she had shown her true feelings to anyone, it would be Sandy; but all Sandy could do was shrug.
"I think a break away from Newport and Caleb Nichol is exactly what she needs. So I want you two to behave yourselves in New York, ok? For Kirsten and the Nana," Sandy looked sternly at them.
They both nodded solemnly and Seth marked a cross against his heart.
"I'm gonna go and check to see if Kirsten's finished packing. I don't want you boys to move, the taxi will be here soon," Sandy said.
Sandy left them alone and Seth immediately went back to the computer game in front of him.
"Your dad's acting kinda irrational, isn't he?" Ryan commented. "I thought it would've been Kirsten who was running around in a panic."
"Yeah, well, when it comes to the Nana, Ryan, my parents have a role-reversal. Nothing is normal when it comes to the Nana," Seth answered without taking his eyes off the screen.
When Sandy got back to the bedroom, he found Kirsten locking the suitcase.
"All done?"
Kirsten nodded. "And yes, I made sure we have everything," she said, pre-empting his question.
Sandy ran his hand through his hair nervously. Kirsten walked over to him and ran her hands down his arms reassuringly.
"Sandy, would you just relax? We're only going to New York for a few days," Kirsten tried to appease him.
"I know," Sandy sighed. "But that's long enough for Sophie Cohen to enter her opinion on every aspect of our lives. You know what my mother's like."
Kirsten laughed. She had been on the receiving end of the Nana's sharp tongue on more occasions than she dared to remember. She suddenly felt a yawn creeping up and covered her mouth to hide it. Sandy's worries moved from his mother to his wife. She was pale and her face was drawn, with dark circles under her eyes where he knew she wasn't sleeping well. Despite her repeated assurances that she was ok, Sandy knew otherwise.
"How are you doing?" he asked her gently. He saw her eyes glaze over in pretence, like they always did at the moment.
"I'm…"
"Don't say 'ok'" Sandy interrupted. "You're not ok. I know you. I know when you're ok and when you're not ok. And you're not ok."
Kirsten sighed. She had been avoiding this conversation successfully until now and she didn't want that to change.
"We should take the bags to the hall and wait for the taxi," she said, breaking away from Sandy.
"Kirsten…"
"I'm ok," Kirsten stressed. "Please, can we not do this now?"
Her eyes pleaded with him and Sandy relented. He picked up the suitcase and Kirsten followed him down the stairs and through the house, dropping the travel bag next to the rest of the luggage. Sandy looked back at Kirsten and she could see the concern in his eyes. She sighed, knowing she was being unfair.
"I'm sorry for being so snappy," she said softly.
Sandy wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug and Kirsten gratefully accepted, resting her chin on his shoulder.
"Are you sure you wanna come?" Sandy asked.
"Believe it or not, right now I'd rather spend a few days with your mother than my father," Kirsten said. She laughed but Sandy could hear the sorrow in her voice.
The sound of a car horn interrupted them and they broke apart as Seth came bounding towards them from the kitchen, trailed by Ryan.
"Are you guys ready for the Nana?" Sandy teased.
"Yeah!" Seth cheered, punching the air in excitement. "You're going to love New York, Ryan. The Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, the Rockefeller Centre, Central Park, Broadway, Brooklyn Bridge, the Chrysler building. And they have the most amazing comic book stores."
Ryan shook his head in amusement as he followed Seth out of the house to the taxi, followed by Kirsten and Sandy. The ride to the airport was relatively painless, even though Sandy spent the whole journey giving the driver the directions he thought would be the quickest.
"We don't want to miss the plane!" he had defended when Kirsten had told him to let the driver drive in peace.
Sandy finally settled once they were in the air, distracted by a crossword puzzle. Kirsten rested her head on his shoulder, offering answers every now and again. Seth was engrossed in a comic book and Ryan entertained himself with the repeats of Friends on the in-flight television.
Ryan was excited about New York. It was the kind of place he had only ever dreamed about going when he was growing up, he never thought he might actually go some time. Living with Seth, Sandy and Kirsten had brought Ryan many opportunities he never thought he would have.
Of course, he had argued against going. The Nana wouldn't expect him to come; it was a family trip, he would only be in the way. Despite reassurances from Sandy and arguments from Seth, it had been the threat of tears from an already distressed Kirsten that had finally persuaded Ryan to come.
The first thing Ryan noticed when he stepped out of the airport was the temperature drop. They had left Newport at a mild fifty degrees; New York was bitterly cold and Ryan could see clouds escape from his mouth as he breathed. Sandy hailed down a taxi – a yellow taxicab, to Ryan's delight – and they squashed in together. He watched the passing scenery in excitement. A couple of inches of snow had settled on the ground, crunching underfoot as people walked by, bundled up in thick coats, hats, scarves and gloves.
When they reached the Bronx, Sandy fell silent as he saw the familiar streets and buildings that he had grown up with. The memories came flooding back to him – his father leaving one day, gone suddenly with no goodbye; the endless nights he had spent on the streets and in the parks with his friends: smoking, drinking, fighting, vandalising; his English teacher, Mr Fleming, who had seen something more in him and given him the chance to leave it all behind him. That chance had led him to California, where he had found himself working in a job in he loved, helping kids like himself. Kids like Ryan. Sandy glanced back at Kirsten, who read his mind and smiled softly.
They finally pulled up outside the Nana's house. Grabbing their cases, they stood patiently at the front door as Sandy rang the bell. When no-one answered, Sandy frowned and tried again. They heard rustling behind the door, which finally opened. They all had to hold back a gasp at the sight of the Nana in front of them. She wasn't the same Sophie Cohen who had come for Passover earlier in the year: the chemotherapy had taken its toll. She had lost weight dramatically, her complexion was grey and heavy bags had settled under her eyes. She looked frail and unsteady on her feet. The hairpiece she was wearing to conceal her hair loss was askew. They had clearly woken her from sleeping.
"Hey ma," Sandy greeted her, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.
"Sandy? What are you guys doing here?" Sophie asked.
Sandy's face dropped. "We've come to visit you for a few days, don't you remember me saying?"
"I thought that was next week? The twenty-seventh?"
"Ma, it is the twenty-seventh," Sandy told her cautiously.
He saw her frown, clearly confused. "Of course it is, of course it is."
"You know, maybe we should go and find a hotel to stay at. You don't want us all under your feet," Kirsten suggested.
"Don't be silly, you'll stay here," Sophie snapped, standing aside to let them in.
Sandy shot Kirsten an apologetic look as they walked into the house and through to the living room, which opened up into the kitchen. The house was as dishevelled as the Nana's appearance. Papers and magazines were scattered everywhere, a pile of dirty plates stood by the kitchen sink and an inch of dust layered every surface. The house looked like it hadn't been cleaned for weeks, and Sandy knew his mother usually kept an immaculate house.
Sophie followed them into the room and began to fuss around them, trying to make the house more presentable.
"So, how are you doing, mom?" Sandy asked, his tone flat as he tried to hide the concern in his voice. His mother didn't like to feel pitied.
"Oh, I'm doing ok. It's been a busy few days," Sophie answered, keeping her voice light. She was aware of their concerned looks over her shoulder. "Do you want coffee?"
Everybody nodded over-enthusiastically. Sandy looked at Seth, gesturing his head towards the kitchen.
"I'll make it, Nana," Seth offered.
"No, you will not. Sit down," Sophie ordered.
They watched her as she moved slowly around the kitchen. Kirsten put a soothing hand on Sandy's back, while Seth and Ryan exchanged worried glances.
"Um, they'll have to be black. I don't have any milk," Sophie chimed from the kitchen.
"Why don't we go out somewhere? It's nearly dinner time anyway," Sandy suggested.
He saw his mother considering his offer and persevered.
"I don't know about you, but I know I'm not in the mood to cook."
Sophie nodded, aware that there was nothing in her kitchen that she could feed them. She knew what they were all thinking and she kicked herself for letting the house get into such a state; but she had been so tired lately, with work and the cancer treatment, and she had let things slip.
"Ok, I'll just go freshen up," she said, disappearing upstairs.
"What the hell has been going on?" Sandy exploded.
Kirsten hushed him. "Sandy, she'll hear you."
Sandy quietened to an angry whisper. "Look at this place, it's a mess. She looks awful, she's obviously not looking after herself properly. What do Joel and Abby think they're playing at?"
Sandy was referring to his brother and sister. He had spoken to them regularly since their mother had become sick and they always assured him that they were taking care of her.
"Sandy, you don't know what's been going on. Don't jump to any conclusions until you've spoken to them," Kirsten tried to placate him.
"I know what hasn't been going on," Sandy sighed angrily.
"Everybody ready?" Sophie's voice interrupted them from behind.
"Yeah."
"Absolutely."
"You know, I might not come to dinner," Kirsten suddenly announced.
Everyone turned to look at her, surprised. Sandy frowned and Sophie spied her suspiciously.
"I'm really tired. I think I'll just have a bath and get some sleep," Kirsten explained.
"You do look like you haven't slept in days," Sophie said snidely.
"Ma!" Sandy scolded.
Sophie held her hands up. "I'm just saying."
"Well, ok, if that's what you want to do," Sandy said, a little confused. He kissed her cheek before turning and leading the way out of the house.
Kirsten nodded reassuringly at Seth and Ryan, who glanced curiously in her direction, before piling into the Nana's car. Sandy offered to drive and was surprised when Sophie conceded so easily. They didn't have to drive for long before Sandy found a steakhouse.
They settled around a square table and studied the menus in an awkward silence. It was after the waiter had taken their orders that Sophie started her inquisition.
"So, Sandy, how's work?" Sophie asked.
"Actually, I left my job at the law firm," Sandy said.
"Oh?"
Sandy suddenly felt uneasy under his mother's stare.
"Yeah, we had a disagreement about, uh, a client that I was representing," Sandy answered as vaguely as possible, sending a warning glance at Seth and Ryan not to mention that the client was Caleb.
"So what are you going to do? Go back to the PD's office?" Sophie's voice was hopeful. Self-righteousness ran in the Cohen family and Sophie had never been happy that Sandy had left that job in the first place.
"No, I'm going to set up my own practice actually," Sandy said cautiously.
"Really?"
"I still have the money I got from selling the restaurant. It should be enough to get me started," Sandy said.
"Well, let's hope this idea lasts longer than the restaurant," Sophie commented.
"It will," Sandy said firmly, ignoring his mother's snide remark as he had become accustomed to doing by now.
"Well, if it doesn't, you can always live off your wife's money."
Sandy sighed irritably. "My wife has a name, you know."
Sophie shrugged, unperturbed, and moved her attention to Seth.
"And what about you, Sethela? Are you home for good or are you planning any more unplanned expeditions?" Sophie asked.
Seth squirmed under her hard stare. "No, Nana, I'm back for good now."
"Huh. You're lucky you got away so lightly. If it had been up to me…"
"Well, it's not," Sandy interrupted. He had always had very different opinions to parenting than his mother. Sophie glared at him and then went back to quizzing Seth.
"And what about that young girl of yours, Summer?"
"Summer and I are just friends now," Seth said, regretfully.
"Ah, that's a shame. I liked Summer, she was good for you," Sophie said.
The three men looked towards her, surprised at her sympathy.
"Still, it serves your right," Sophie continued without disappointment.
"And you, young man," Sophie started towards Ryan, who shrunk down in his seat as she glared at him. He had hoped that he would be spared the Sophie Cohen treatment since he wasn't a real member of the family, but apparently that didn't matter.
"I hope this summer has taught you to be more careful in the future," Sophie said.
Ryan turned bright red, worried that the Nana was about to start dealing out contraceptive advice.
"Ma," Sandy's tone warned her. Since his return to Newport, Ryan hadn't spoken much about Theresa and the baby, and he didn't want the Nana upsetting him.
Sophie finally went quiet once their food arrived. The mood was subdued as they ate, the conversation revolving around the Nana's opinions on what Sandy's brother and sister were doing.
Sandy insisted on paying for dinner, despite Sophie's objections, and they made their way back to the house. It was quiet when they entered, except for the low hum of the television.
"There's only one spare bedroom, so I hope you boys will be comfortable downstairs. The sofa pulls out into a bed," Sophie said.
"I'm sure it'll be fine, mom," Sandy assured her.
"Yeah…except it's already occupied," Ryan said as he walked first into the family room.
They looked towards the sofa, which had already been pulled out into a bed. The sleeping bags had been unrolled on top and Kirsten lay across them, bundled up in her bathrobe and curled up in a ball, fast asleep. Sandy looked around and saw that she had tidied the family room. The dirty dishes in the kitchen were now glistening clean on the draining board. It finally became clear why she had refrained from going to dinner with them.
Sophie noticed all three of them smile affectionately towards the mass of blonde hair. Sandy wandered over to her, almost tempted not to wake his sleeping wife. It was the first time he had seen her sleeping peacefully since Chrismukkah. He sat down carefully next to her and the movement stirred her.
"Hey," he said softly as Kirsten's eyes fluttered open.
"Hey, how was dinner?" Kirsten asked, lifting her head slightly as Sandy left a light kiss on her lips.
"Good," Sandy said.
"My steak was too tough," Sophie offered.
Kirsten stretched and sat up, sitting next to Sandy on the edge of the sofabed.
"I see you've been busy," Sophie said, gesturing to the tidy room.
Kirsten wasn't surprised at the lack of gratitude and played along as best as possible. "Oh, I hope you don't mind me making room for the boys?"
"It's fine. I just hope you didn't break a nail," Sophie scorned.
Kirsten responded with a wry smile, while Sandy sighed next to her.
"Well, I'm going to bed," Sophie announced. "I'll see you guys in the morning."
"Goodnight."
"Night, mom."
They waited until they heard her go upstairs and retreat into her bedroom.
"How was she during dinner?" Kirsten asked. "You guys look relatively unharmed."
"Pretty much the same as that," Sandy said. Kirsten rubbed his back to soothe him.
"Is she alright, dad?" Seth asked.
Sandy shrugged. "I don't know."
They all sat despondently for a moment until Kirsten stood up, yawning.
"Come on, we should all get some rest," she said, pulling Sandy up next to her. "You boys sleep well. Don't stay up all night talking, ok?"
"Ok," Seth agreed.
"Goodnight boys," Sandy said, following Kirsten upstairs.
"You ok?" Ryan asked Seth.
Seth nodded sadly. "I guess I didn't think about the Nana much while I was in Portland. I sent the odd postcard but that was it. I should have kept in touch more."
Ryan sat quietly. He didn't have an answer and, unlike Seth, he didn't waste words.
"You know, when I was little and my other grandma got sick, mom and dad sent me to stay with the Nana for a while. She's not as scary as she makes out. She would take me out for ice-cream and buy me comic books and she taught me how to tie my laces. I remember asking her what she thought happened after you die and she told me about heaven, about how it was filled with the people and things that we love, where nothing bad ever happens. She told me my heaven would be a place where superheroes really existed and I'd have as much chocolate ice-cream that I could eat. And she told me that all she wanted in her heaven was her family. But she shouldn't have to wait until she's in heaven to have that."
Seth felt his voice begin to choke and he stopped. Ryan put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. Seth smiled gratefully before shaking him off.
"You heard the Kirsten. Let's get some sleep."
Upstairs, Kirsten watched silently from the bed as Sandy undressed before climbing in next to her. He held out his arm and Kirsten curled up against him, resting her head on his chest.
"Thank you for what you did tonight," Sandy said.
"I was just avoiding a night with your mother," Kirsten dismissed.
Sandy smiled slightly and tightened his hold of her. He knew it was more than that.
"What do I do?" Sandy sighed. "How do I help her?"
Kirsten paused. "You remember when my mom got sick and I would go round every day to help her? She was so mad that we had come back to Newport. She was mad at my dad for asking us and she was mad at us for agreeing. She wouldn't let me do anything around the house, she'd just snap at me every time I moved a coffee mug or cleaned the dishes. And one day I turned up and she was in the bathroom being sick. I didn't say anything, I just went in and held her hair back and wiped her forehead. She wasn't so mad after that and she let me help her."
Sandy listened as Kirsten spoke.
"Your mom, she's a proud woman. If you offer to help her, she's gonna say no," Kirsten continued.
"I know that," Sandy said. "So what do I do?"
"If she's going to refuse, maybe you should just not ask," Kirsten spoke slowly so that Sandy understood her point.
Sandy kissed the top of her head and they fell silent. He felt Kirsten fall asleep in his arms but too many thoughts clouded his head as he stared at the ceiling. Sandy was used to helping people; it was what he did. Now, he just needed to figure out how to help the one person who needed it the most.