Disclaimers: Suikoden IV and its characters are properties of Konami. The songs presented in this story belong to their respective artists. I do not own the rights to any of them or gain any profit from writing about them.
Since Hero4 has no canon name yet, his name is Zaron in this fiction. The ship's name is IL MARE, and the name of the army is Serpentarius. The names of the Queen of Obel and the lost prince mentioned in this fiction for convenience are also my invention.
Motherland
Chapter I: The Sea of Dusk
Sailing out into the sea of dusk,
The two of us shall never cross paths again...
Tasogare no Umi, by See-Saw
A light flashed brightly. El-Eal Fortress began to crumble with deafening noises. The battle ship IL MARE was shook violently on rough waves, sending the ship's crew tumbling with such force. There were many cries of surprise, but the loudest one seemed to belong to Agnes, the tactitian's assistant, who was holding onto the gunwale with tightening fingers, screaming "Lady Elenor! Lady Elenor!" and almost jumping down to the sea if Sigurd and Harvey were not holding both of her arms.
A heat wave spread from the flames sticking out of the windows and cracks on the fortress wall, so hot that it seemed capable of burning down the large battle ship that was just about to depart. Chiepoo the Nay-Kobold uttered a stiffened cry, while Keneth, his back against the mast, shouted.
"It's gonna take us out!"
I have to do something...thought Zaron, who was standing on the deck. Even though he did not know whether the explosion was caused by a runic magic, or the malfunction of the fortress' rune cannon; whether it was the doing of Graham Cray, the loser who chose to take everyone with him to compensate for his failed plan, or Elenor Silverberg who wanted to end her life along with Cray.
But there was still a way to save everyone, even if it would cost him his life...
The boy looked down at his tightened left hand for a moment before deciding to hold it up.
"Zaron!" Lino En Kuldes, the King of Obel tried to shout above the sounds of crumbling rocks, but the boy's mind was already set.
"My True Rune of Punishment!"
As soon as his voice died out, a brilliant red light soared through the dark sky with shrieking sounds like screams of souls in pain. The light expanded above the sky, blinding everything in sight until all were as red as blood.
There was a loud uproar once more.
When the light faded, where there was once El-Eal Fortress, the southernmost border of the Kooluk Empire was never again left to be seen.
Lino was the first one to turn to where Zaron was standing, and saw only the boy's unconcious body lying limp on the floor.
This place again... Zaron calmly look around into the darkness surrounding him. Now he had gotten used to the realm inside of the Rune of Punishment he saw every time after using its power. The mournful cries were still echoing inside, and the boy knew that his destination was the white glow before him, which would take him to the memories of the past Rune bearers.
He stepped forward, slowly but unhesitantly. The glow he saw ahead seemed to draw closer, but what Zaron felt different from every time was the cries that gradually softened, dissolving into some kind of melody from a music box, soothing him with a strangely nostalgic tune.
There was a white, dim shadow waiting before him. The figure that the boy saw more clearly than the other shadows was the back of a woman wearing white dress, with her wavy blonde hair flowing behind her.
It was then that Zaron had a strange feeling that he had met this woman before, in the outside world.
The woman slowly turned to meet his gaze. Her marine blue eyes, with profound sadness buried deep inside, were very much like the reflection of his own.
"...Merric..." her sweet, sorrowful voice sounded quietly.
But only that made the boy's head turn. Voices, noises, and visions zoomed past him so fast that he was overwhelmed by the confusion. Many of them seemed to have been engraved so deeply in his memories that he could not tell if they were the woman's, or his own.
"Elze...why? Why did it have to be you? I should've been the one to carry this burden rather than you...," he heard a man's voice said ruefully.
"It's all right," replied the voice of the woman called 'Elze' that Zaron had heard before. "What has happened cannot be changed. But I'm so glad that you're still here beside me. I won't need anything more."
It's all right. Even if I have this rune, even if I have to bear such a burden, we can still be together and share both our suffering and happiness, right? Zaron felt as if he heard the woman questioning in her mind.
For a moment there was silence, then cries of a newborn baby and a joyous laughter of the same man.
"Look, Elze! Our son, he looks exactly like you."
"Father, can I see his face?" said a little girl's voice.
"Oh, here's your brother." It seemed that the man turned to speak to the girl, then asked the woman. "Well, Elze, have you thought of a name for him?"
A moment passed, then she replied.
"I think it would be...Merric."
"Merric, huh?"
"It means 'the ruler of the sea,' " She explained. "His eye colour reminds me of the ocean outside."
"Well, yes," The man said with his warm voice. "Merric is a nice name, and it has a good meaning as well."
I will live to the fullest for this child, for him, for my children, and for everyone I love...
Until the day I will have to sacrifice my life for them.
At this point, Zaron felt that his surroundings lightened up into a vision of a room.
A music box on a table in the room was playing softly as the room slightly rolled back and forth with the movement of the waves. There was a blonde-haired woman sitting on the chair in the middle on the room, pricking a needle through a piece of red cloth along the faint pencil lines before pulling a black thread up, and down under the cloth again. Her white, delicate hand deftly continued to sew the cloth, while her eyes concentrated on the work and sometimes took glances of a cradle beside the wall with a smile on her face.
"It's almost done, Merric," she said gently to a sleeping child in the cradle. "Soon you'll have a new shirt to show to your father and sister."
The needle ran through the cloth for the last time, and the thread was cut. The woman lifted the tiny shirt up and looked over it, smiling in content with her work.
But then her smile turned into an anguished expression. The red shirt fell down from both of her hands, which unfolded and then clenched together tightly to fight against the pain spreading over her bending body. She panted heavily for a while before the pain subsided, and raised her left hand to look at mark of the Rune of Punishment on its back with a saddened gaze. She then picked the red shirt up from her lap and got up, making her way to the cradle where a boy not older than a year was sleeping inside, and caressing his light brown hair longingly.
The feeling Zaron sensed in her heart was a particular one he knew so well.
Uncertainty.
She was uncertain of how long she will be able to live with this child, and when will fate tear her apart from him and her beloved ones. Zaron, as well as the other past Rune bearers, knew that a faint premonition of death always lingered around each of them, even though it was uncertain whether the death would come quickly or slowly, and in what kind of situation.
However, the woman shook her head as if to turn those thoughts away. She was spreading the small shirt over the little boy sleeping under the cover when the door was opened.
"What are you doing, darling?"
Zaron turned to look at the man who entered the room as well. The boy noticed at once that he looked exactly like Lino En Kuldes, the King of Obel, and he was also wearing a similar set of plain clothes. The only difference would be that he looked younger than Lino, which reminded the boy of the story that the King of Obel told him on the eve before the assaut on El-Eal Fortress.
'The Rune you now hold...It was summoned from the ruins of the kingdom fifteen years ago by the Queen of Obel. She was my wife.'
So this is the Queen of Obel's memories? Zaron wondered.
The woman turned to the man and smiled.
"I've just finished a shirt for Merric."
"Oh, can I see it, then?" He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and leaned over the cradle. "They're always nice, the clothes you made for me, Flare, and Merric. Thank you very much, Elze." As he finished the sentence, Lino gently kissed his beloved queen on her cheek.
She laughed slightly, but Zaron could sense a sorrow hidden in her laughter.
"I just feel like making a little something for everyone."
So that when I'm gone, you and the children will be able to remember me and think of me...
He replied with another chuckle.
"Well, thank you anyway."
"By the way, where is Flare?" Elze asked.
"Flare? She's watching the sea outside." He nodded to the door. "Our little angel's all excited to see dolphins, telling me to take you and Merric up on the deck to watch them together."
As Lino turned back to see the marine-coloured eyes of the boy he just called opened and looked at him, he couldn't help but smile.
"Well, he really knows when Daddy's going to take him out for a walk. Isn't that right, Merric?" He touched the boy's cheek fondly, making Elze laugh again.
"I guess Merric woke up because of your voice."
"I guess so, too. Anyway, put on the new shirt Mommy made for you and go for a walk with Daddy, okay?" Lino took the shirt from his queen and put it on the boy. Then he lifted his son in his arms and turn to her. "Well then, Elze, will you go for little walk with me?"
She nodded.
"Then let's go." He carried the boy out of the room. The woman closed the lid of the music box on the table, and followed him as well.
It was then that his surroundings changed again. The sunlight reflected on the clear, green watery surface. Cries of seagulls could be heard from afar mingling with the crashing of waves around the ship in the ocean. The breeze with a faint salty odour was refreshing.
As the king and the queen came up on the deck together, the soldiers stationed on various spots of the ship saluted them. A girl about four or five years old, who Zaron assumed was Princess Flare, immediately ran to hug Queen Elze.
"Father, Mother, I saw a dolphin jumped a moment ago!" The girl declared to them with a joyful glee in her eyes. "Let's watch them together!"
"Okay," The woman answered and started to follow her daughter, who was running to the gunwale, but then Merric began to cry, reaching his hands out as if to call for his mother.
"Oh, Elze, I think you'd better take Merric with you. It seems he'd rather be with his mother," Lino told her, so she turned back and took the boy in her arms, asking.
"What about you? Why don't you come and watch the sea together?"
"I'll go later. Now I have to take care of something."
"Okay," she replied and carried Merric to where Flare was standing on her toes, leaning on the gunwale and looking down at the sea. However, now there was a frown on her face.
"That's strange. Suddenly the dolphins just all swam away," Flare said in disappointment.
Elze caressed her daughter's hair soothingly.
"I'm sure they will return, my dear."
The boy in her arms was looking attentively at the rippling in the green surface. His tiny hand reached out as if to grasp the thing he saw moving in front of him in a childish way.
"Stay still, Merric, or else you'll fall into the sea," she warned him, taking a step away from the gunwale.
Meanwhile, Lino En Kuldes, who was giving orders to the soldiers, stole some glances at his queen and children with a wide smile on his face, before he noticed something at the corner of his eyes.
At the horizon, a dark shadow appeared, though so faint that it was barely noticeable.
"Huh? Isn't that a ship?" he said to himself.
The next second, a light flashed brightly from the faraway ship, heading straight toward where Elze and her two children were. The whistle of a rune cannon shell cutting through the air sounded from afar, while Lino only had enough time to spring to his wife and children, using his own body as a shield for them.
"Look out!"
There was an explosion and the ship shook violently.
"Lino!" Elze screamed as she looked up at the king who was bending over her and the two children. His left shoulder was hit by sharp pieces of wood that were torn out by the cannon's force, blood spilling from the wound and soaking his vest in red. Flare and Merric suddenly cried in fright.
"You're bleeding so much..." she said with trembling voice, but he gritted his teeth and answered.
"I'm all right. Just you and the children are safe is enough."
Lino forced himself up, looking to the soldiers around them. Some were also hurt from the impact, but those with only slight injuries immediately gathered to protect the royal family members and wait for an order.
"Prepare the rune cannon. Use fire shells to counter their next attack. Keep watch and see if they have another ship."
"Yes, sir!"
The soldiers immediately ran to their posts by his orders. But after a moment, a rune cannon personnel shouted.
"We're out of the firing range, sir!"
The sentence was barely finished when another rune shell came straight for their ship, this time precisely hitting the rear of the vessel.
"Our helm was damaged!"
It was then that Elze saw another three ships sailing in front of them. She pointed to them and informed Lino.
"There are enemy ships in front of us too!"
He turned to the direction she was pointing and cursed
"Damnit! So they planned for a pincer attack!"
Watching the event in the past from afar, Zaron knew, as did Queen Elze, how critical the situation on the royal ship of Obel was; this ship hadn't been designed for battle. Moreover, as the helm was damaged by the enemy's cannon, they could not turn the ship to counterattack the main fleet at their front, which meant that the people on the royal ship had nowhere to escape. Soon the main fleet would get their ship- an immobilized target- in the firing range...
So it's finally time, then... Elze bowed her head as she made her final decision. She bent down and gently brushed a kiss on the forehead of the girl who was holding her tightly with shaking arms.
"Flare, I love you, my dear."
She stood up and kissed the boy in her arms on his forehead, too.
"Merric, I love you too."
She handed the boy to Lino, who had a stunned expression on his face, and whispered to him.
"Lino, I love you. Please take care of Flare and Merric for me."
She turned and began to walk away, but Lino's arm shot up and managed to grab hold of her hand.
"Elze, what do you think you're doing!"
Elze stood frozen. Lino's hand squeezed her delicate hand more tightly, knowing that letting go of her hand would mean an eternal farewell...
But then she turned her face back to meet his eyes with her own filled with tears, the saddest smile forming on her lips.
"Farewell...my darling...And...my children..."
Elze shook off his hand and ran to the front of the ship before anyone could stop her. Her hands folded together only for a brief moment before she raised her left hand high above her head, with a cry and flaring red light.
"My True Rune of Punishment!"
"Elze, NOOO!" Lino shouted out at the top of his lungs, wishing he could stop her by his words. But it was already too late...
The crimson ray of light hurled to the fleet and spread, completely decimating them as the Queen of Obel collapsed. The impact sent a large tidal wave crashing against the royal ship, jerking it violently. Everyone on the ship desperately tried to find something they could grab hold on. Zaron turned his gaze just in time to see the boy slipped out of Lino's arms, while the king was unable to seize him back without letting go of his daughter's hand due to the limits of his severely injured left shoulder. The boy fell down through the gap in the destroyed gunwale with no one capable of helping him in time...
And then, a thought suddenly flashed in Zaron's mind...
Now he remembered them all: the woman cloaked in white he saw in his dream, the sweet voice saying a sorrowful farewell, the scream cutting through the air, and the sensation of the heavy, salty water pulling him deep down, until a hand pulled him up again.
"Mother..." the boy spoke softly, finding himself at a loss, just before he felt that the world around him darken into blackness...
As he opened his eyes to the sound of closing door, the first thing he saw was the wooden ceiling of his bedroom in the IL MARE. The boy tried to pull himself up in a sitting position, but he found that his whole body was aching and in a state of strange numbness that he could barely move even a single finger, the mark of the True Rune of Punishment on his left hand feeling as if it was on fire.
There were voices of many people quietly speaking in front of his room.
"How is Zaron's condition, doctor?" He could hear Lino's voice asking.
There was a silent for a while. It seemed that the 'doctor' was thinking for a good answer in his mind.
"His pulse is very weak, and his body is in a very fatigued state as well," Doctor Yu replied.
"And how will you treat him?" Lino continue to asked.
"About that..." he began to hesitate. "I'm afraid to say that I don't know. Even if I know his condition, but if the cause of it is the side effect of using the rune's power, I don't think that any medicine is capable of treating that."
"But there's nothing wrong with him, is there?" Tal interrupted. "Every time he used the power of that rune, he would faint. But when he was awake, he'd be fine as usual."
"I don't think 'fine' is the correct word," the doctor argued. "I don't know about when he used the rune's power when he was with you, but for the last three times he unleashed its power at such a large scale, he was definitely NOT fine. Even though he tried to keep his condition a secret from everyone, I, as the doctor who examined him, knew how much his health had deteriotated, from both using the rune's power and working too hard."
Yes, not only Doctor Yu knew, Zaron himself knew as well that his symptoms at this moment were very much different from the previous times. Perhaps this time he had used the power of the rune beyond his own limit.
There was silence once more, before Millay asked in a trembling voice.
"T-then...what will become of Sir Zaron?"
Doctor Yu let a long sigh.
"I'm afraid that, if his condition turns worst, he won't be able to make it back to Obel on our return trip."
The boy calmly listened to those words, but the people outside his room were very much in turmoil at hearing them.
"That can't be! You mean he's dying!" Tal raised his voice.
"That's impossible!" Keneth said as if he didn't believe his ears.
"Doctor Yu, I think you should be able to help him somehow," Trishtan spoke so quickly that he forgot his usual cough. "What about the medicine you gave me? Every time I feel sick, I just take your medicine and then I'll be fine in no time. Won't it work for him?"
"Err...I'm afraid that the medicine only works for you, Trishtan," Doctor Yu answered evasively.
"So there's no way of helping him?" Jewel asked.
"I'm afraid there is none," the doctor replied grimly. "I've tried my best, but every doctor's abilities has their limits."
"Does 'tried your best' mean that you're just going to let him die!" Tal retorted.
"That's enough!" Lino warned him. "Arguing in front of his room won't do any good. It'll only disturb him."
At his words, everyone immediately agreed to keep their voices down. Lino sighed and asked the doctor again.
"Then, can we visit Zaron?"
"I...think that'll be all right," replied Doctor Yu. "However, at least please enter his room in groups of small numbers and keep quiet., Don't stay for too long or disturb him. Oh, and one thing, I cannot guarantee the effect of the rune on himself or anyone else. "
Zaron heard some footsteps withdrawing from his bedroom door, before he heard Flare asked worriedly.
"Father, will Zaron be..."
"At any rate, we should visit him first," Lino broke off the conversation, but then Setsu immediately interrupted.
"You shouldn't, Your Majesty! I can't let you and Her Highness be at risk. The rune is too dangerous!"
"He saved OUR lives, Setsu!" Lino argued sternly. "If it hadn't been for him, we would have all been sunken with this ship!"
"But you're the King of Obel, Your Majesty, and Princess Flare is your only heir. I can't let another tragedy occurred to the Royal Household like that incident fifteen years ago. Never again!"
"That's enough, Setsu." Flare stopped him. "I'm going in anyway. Like Father said, he had saved our lives, and..." her voice began to tremble. "I don't want to feel sorry like that time, when Mother was gone but we were unable to do anything. Not anymore..."
"Flare," Lino called his daughter worriedly as she was sobbing quietly. "It'll be all right. I hope that we will be able to help him somehow."
Inside the room, the boy could only listened in silence, staring listlessly at the ceiling with an anguished expression.
My father...and my sister...
At last he learned about his family as he had wished since he was an orphan in Razril, but the knowledge, instead of bringing him joy, provided only sadness, deep in his aching heart.
Even though they had not yet known he was his lost son and brother, they still forged a bond with him and cared for him so much, as if he was one in their family. If they knew that their son and brother was still alive, but at the same time was going to die soon, would the sorrow not be thousand fold?
The door opened before Lino's tall figured entered the room, followed by Flare. The boy immediately turned to look at them.
The two visitors seemed to be stunned for a moment as they see him awake and looking straight at them. Lino was the first one to ask.
"Oh, you're awake?"
Zaron nodded in response. Then he turned his face back to the ceiling and decided to speak.
"I've been awake since Doctor Yu left my room, Sire."
The answer clearly hinted both of his visitors that he had heard everything that was said in front of his room.
As a result, the King of Obel could only bowed his head and said softly.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to say that," Zaron replied. "I was the one who decided to use the rune's power, and I don't feel sorry at all that my decision has saved everyone."
"But...but it shouldn't have end this way," Flare said, trying to make her voice as calm as possible.
Lino sighed.
"Zaron, you're so young. You still have a long road ahead of you. I shouldn't have forced you to carry such a responsibility. If only I had thought better, you wouldn't have been involved in this war, let alone risking your life for every one of us."
"People are born to die someday; it's only a matter of time," the boy gave his reason. "At least if I, as the rune bearer, could trade my life for protecting other people's. My death wouldn't be meaningless..." Zaron swallowed something he felt obstructing his throat before continuing. "...just as Queen Elze had done in the past."
Both Lino and Flare's expressions turned into surprise.
"You knew?"
The boy nodded.
"I've seen her memories in the rune."
Lino cast his eyes downward.
"So, you've seen the incident on that day, too?"
Zaron answered by nodding again. The king of Obel let out another sigh.
"It was all my fault, that I couldn't protect her and Merric."
"Queen Elze didn't blamed you at all," the boy spoke the feelings in his heart. "As for Merric, your youngest son, if he were alive, he would probably understand that you had done your best to save him. If I were him, I would be happy and proud to have parents who loved me that much."
Lino managed to force himself a sad smile.
"It'd be great if Merric were alive and understood as you said."
Perhap, this was enough. Zaron bit his lower lips, forbidding himself from speaking more. This would be as much as he could tell his real father without revealing the truth.
He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them up and spoke solemnly.
"Sire, there is something I would like to request from you, one last time."
"Don't, Zaron," Flare protested. "Don't say last. You can't be dying. Your condition might not be as bad as Doctor Yu said."
"I know my condition better than anyone, Milady," Zaron calmly argued. "Like Doctor Yu said, I'm going to die soon."
As she fell silent at his words, the boy turned to Lino again.
"Would you please promise me that you will do what I request, no matter what it is?"
After Lino forced himself to nod, Zaron continued.
"Before I die, please set me adrift in the sea."
"What!" the King of Obel exclaimed in surprise. "Why do you ask for such a thing!"
"So that when I die, the Rune of Punishment won't be able to choose someone on this ship as its host. Even though I couldn't prevent another person from bearing the rune, at least I wouldn't want someone I know, or someone around me to carry this burden after me."
"But how could we do such a heartless thing!" Flare retorted. "Zaron, I'm sure there must be a better way. If only we think together..."
"But we're running out of time," the boy said calmly before meeting Lino's eyes. "You've promised me, Your Majesty."
The King of Obel said nothing. Flare took hold of her father's arm and pulled softly, seeming to beg him not to.
"Father..."
But finally, he nodded slowly.
"So be it, if that is what you wish."
The boy gave him a sad smile.
"Thank you."
However, Lino turned his back to Zaron as if he could not bear to look at the boy.
"A king cannot take back his words. I will go and order the crew members to prepare a boat for you."
Stepping to the door, Lino En Kuldes opened it and left. Flare watched her leaving father before turning to meet Zaron's gaze worriedly, her lips parting slightly as if to say something.
But then she closed her mouth, turned around and followed the king outside, leaving the boy with silence again.
However, Zaron wasn't alone for long. Shortly after Lino and Flare left, his five friends from the Knight Academy in Razril: Tal, Keneth, Paula, Jewel, and Snowe came to visit him.
"Zaron, you're not thinking of going out to die at sea, are you!" Tal was the first one to speak as he entered the room.
Zaron nodded instead.
Tal was taken aback for a moment. Then he raised his voice.
"Are you crazy!"
"Don't, Tal," Keneth stopped him.
"Zaron knows what he's doing that for, and we should respect his decision," Paula spoke quietly.
So Tal could only lower his head and kept his mouth shut as Zaron looked up and meet the eyes of his elf friend with a weak smile.
"Thank you, Paula."
"Zaron, but why do you intend to go alone?" Jewel asked. "If you're leaving here, let us go with you like that time."
He turned to the Na-Nal girl.
"Thank you, Jewel. But this time I can't let anyone go with me, in order to prevent the rune from destroying anyone's life."
Upon hearing this, the four of them fell silent for a few moments. But then Snowe, who had been silently crossing his arms and leaning against the wall without saying anything all the time, unfolded his arms, approached Zaron's bed and kneeled down beside him.
"Then, what about someone who has nothing else in his life like me, Zaron?" He asked softly.
The expression on Zaron's face turned into that of surprise. He could only whispered quietly.
"Snowe..."
Snowe looked into his eyes and continued to speak.
"A traitor who could betray even his friend and homeland deserved to die. But you forgave me and saved my life even though I was the cause of your exile. Now I have nowhere else to return to, so I will go with you to repay for all the guilt I've done to you, and to return your kindness. I'm not afraid of the rune's power. If I were to be the next rune bearer, then I would be able to feel the suffering you've felt before. It would be a just punishment for me."
Zaron sighed.
"Someone who has realized his fault is forgiven, and shouldn't receive punishment anymore, Snowe," he said gently. "I know you've been through a lot of bad things, and that was enough."
Snowe silently listened to his words with a calm expression, but there was grief in his eyes. Zaron managed to give him a weak smile.
"Anyway, thank you, Snowe and everyone. I'm so glad to just know that there are people who care for me."
His five friends returned at last after they knew that they could not talked Zaron out of his decision for sure. But after his close friends, several groups of other comrades and ship members who were worried about him visited him one after another. There were so much of them that he could barely recall them all.
As much as he remembered, some people managed to keep their calmness such as the Pirate Queen Kika, and two of her closest subordinates, Sigurd and Hervey, who came in with Dario and Nalleo. As usual, she spoke very little to him with her cool voice, although Zaron could tell from the look in her eyes that she was probably thinking of the tragedy that occurred to Edgar, her lover, and her friend Brandeau.
Next was the former Vice-Commander of the Gaien Knights in Razril, Katarina and her magic instructor, Konrad, who remained calm as well. Katarina apologized to him again for what she had done and told him how great it would be if someone like him could be Commander Glen's successor and their leader in Razril. Zaron, not revealing that he knew her true relationship with Commander Glen, encouraged her by saying that he was sure she would be a very good commander for sure.
After they left, there were Agnes, Elenor's pupil and Tanya the librarian, who, strangely, came together without ever bringing up a subject about 'Lady Elenor' as one of their frequent heated debate during their visit. Agnes, probably having somewhat gotten over the disappearance of Elenor, thanked him for granting her master's wish to settle things with Cray, and talked about her future plan of going to the Scarlet Moon Empire to further her study. As for Tanya, she thanked him for giving her a chance to meet Elenor, and said that she knew she wasn't suitable for being a tactician, but perhaps she would be a historian and wrote about this war instead.
Then there were three of his personal bodyguards (or so they seemed that way,): Millay, Gretchen, and Helga. They did not talked much about his final decision. Although Zaron could notice that Millay's eyes were red as if she had been crying, he couldn't say anything to comfort her more than, "don't be sad."
However, some of his visitors seem unable to hold back their tears, including Chiepoo the Nay-Kobold. The sight of the future-great-merchant crying also made the other two Nay-Kobolds, Narkul and Champo, cry as well.
Rita, Rene, and Noah, the three girls who had given Zaron a good luck wooden amulet before the attack on El-Eal, also cried so much that Millay heard their weeping from outside the room and had to opened the door to warn them about Doctor Yu's words.
Rakgi, who came with his mother Rikie, cried as well, though not so much. Rikie calmly requested that Zaron bring her with him, insisting that she wasn't afraid at all to be the rune bearer, very much like what Snowe had said before.
And, surely, Zaron tried to give her a smile and replied. "Mrs. Rikie, I think you should stay with Rakgi and watch him grow up. I'm sure your husband would wish you to live happily with your son, rather than bearing the curse of this rune."
Funghi, Kevin and Pam could not come as they have their shops to tend to, so they sent him a special lunch cooked from fish catched by Ugetsu and Shiramine instead. But, still in pain, Zaron couldn't bring himself to eat much.
In the afternoon the flow of visitors seem to lessen a bit, but it was partly due to the fact that the three bodyguards began to screen people before they could enter his room.
Some visitors who were not allowed to visit him were Schtolteheim Reinbach III, his servant Micky, and Charlemagne, who Zaron didn't even know when or how he became the beloved friend of the son of the lord of Middleport. The very reason they were banned was essentially because Reinbach shrieked loudly in a nearly-castrato pitch, calling him "My dear frieeennnddd!", as soon as he came up the stairs.
Gau was disallowed as well for a similar reason, except that he shouted "Ugaaaa! Alllllll!" instead.
The two pirates, Jango and Brec were turned down at the door after a heated argument with the three of Zaron's bodyguards. Zaron understood that Brec's body odour wasn't pleasant at all, and was so life-threatening that it could make him die sooner than he was supposed to, even though he was already short-lived.
Jeane, the beautiful rune master was one of the people Millay absolutely refused to let into his room. As for this mysterious cool beauty, the boy didn't know the reason why. But at least he felt somehow relieved that he was spared being alone in his bedroom with the scary rune master...
However, people who were allowed to visit in the afternoon were Desmond, Louise, Tov, and Haruto, who had been on the ship before. After that were Selma, the elven swordswoman, and Axel, son of the Na-Nal Island Chief. Doctor Yu came to check his condition again with Carrie. He also apologized for not being able to save him. The boy consoled him by saying that he did his best, and he was always grateful for every time the doctor had treated him. Ramada, having been badly injured just shortly before, still had Akaghi and Mizuki supported him into Zaron's room. Unfortunately, they could not talk much as Ramada had to return and take a rest too.
Somewhat unbelievably, Millay allowed Setsu to visit him, even though she had given much thought if the caretaker of the Palace of Obel would say something that hurt Zaron's feelings.
At first Setsu seemed hesitant, then he said to the boy defensively.
"It's not that I hate you or something like that. I was just valuing about the safety of His Majesty and Her Highness above everything else."
Zaron replied him that he understood, and he didn't hate or feel angry with Setsu at all. He thanked Setsu for everything, adding, "Please continue to take care of King Lino and Lady Flare."
Setsu looked quite surprised to hear that, but he returned without realizing what the boy had in mind.
Next was Aldo, who brought a somewhat-unwilling Ted with him. Thus, when the three were in the room, Zaron and Ted remained silent almost all of the time, and Aldo spoke for the most part in order to keep the conversation going on. He thanked Zaron for letting him on board the ship and then wished him 'good luck,' without thinking that the boy had how much time left. However, Zaron just smiled back weakly like he did to everyone.
After realizing that Ted wasn't going to speak for sure, Aldo finally left. But as soon as Aldo was outside, Ted turned to the owner of the room and spoke quietly.
"I respect your decision."
Zaron nodded in response, somehow astonished to hear Ted said that.
"Thank you."
Ted was speechless for a moment, and then he continued.
"And...I hope that someday I could be as strong as you."
With that, the boy who bore the Rune of Life and Death stepped out of his room.
However, regardless of how the three bodyguards carefully screened the people visiting him, there seemed to be some weirdos left undetected. They were no one else other than the two mysterious creatures in the forbidden room which Tov couldn't remember building, and Zaron had no memories of taking them on board this ship at all. It seemed to be the first time that Mao and Nao left their cultivation room together and appeared in his room with the creepiest get-well presents: two baskets full of...mushrooms and mints.
"Hey...have some of my mushrooms," Mao was the first to speak with his shaking, horrifying voice. "They will...make you...get better...Heh heh..."
Zaron only managed to open his mouth silently in order to protest, when Nao said with the equally shaking, horrifying voice.
"No...don't...don't touch...his mushrooms...They must be poisonous...Have my mints instead...They will...make you...get...even...better...Heh heh heh..."
The basket full of mints was brought before him, nearly sticking into his face and choking him with its pungent smell. But then Mao swung his basket of mushrooms, pushing Nao's basket away and marking the start of their quarrel.
"My...mushrooms...are...better...than...your mint..."
"No...My...mints...are...better..."
"My...mushrooms... are...the best..."
"No...My mints...are...the best...and...better...than...your...mushrooms..."
"My...mushrooms..."
"My...mints..."
Fortunately, his three bodyguards overheard the commotion before they started a war between the Mushroom Army and the Mint Army right now and here in his bedroom. Millay and Gretchen came inside and dragged Mao and Nao out, handing them over to Helga, who grabbed them both by the scruffs of their necks and took them to where they wouldn't be able to disturb the leader of the Serpentarius anymore. Millay then apologized to Zaron again and again.
"I'm really sorry, Sir Zaron. I didn't see when they come into your room at all."
"Well, it's...it's all right," Zaron found himself breathing more easily. What had happened made him reach a conclusion that perhaps the two mysterious creatures could really make themselves invisible or walk through walls.
Even Keen generously left the confession box to hear his confession for the first time, and, probably, last time. However, the thought of confessing after he had been visited by Mao and Nao wasn't very intriguing for Zaron. He didn't know if Keen, as the judge this time now that the boy was to be the one to confess, would punish him if he spoke ill of someone.
"You have done well by coming here...err...actually you didn't come. This time it's me who came for you, isn't it?" Keen recited the script he had spoken every time, stealing glances at his note frequently. "In this room, you may confess what is in your heart...Well, of course you can, since it's your room anyway. Confess, and accept proper judgement."
"Actually, you didn't have to say all of that, Mr. Keen," Zaron said. "I've heard you say those lines in the confession box a hundred times over, I think."
Keen only gave him a dark look and continued reading.
"Would you secretly inform me about anyone on board this ship who you think is causing problems?"
Zaron paused for a moment, weighing in his mind whether he should speak or not. There was a long list of names racing in his brain. Some of which were Mao and Nao, for trying to poison him just a while ago; Reinbach III, for being too narcissistic and taking baths in the women's bathroom; Micky, for the story he shamelessly wrote in the newspaper; Bang, for cheating on his customers by putting only white balls in the lottery; The Lo siblings and Haruto, for not helping with any work at all; Jango and Brec, for telling everyone around that he was their underling, and a lot more...
Anyway, if he could forgive Snowe, there would be no one he couldn't forgive, would there?
"I think...everyone causes problems to someone, even I do sometimes. So I shouldn't complain," he tried to give the most neutral answer as possible.
Keen nodded slowly, moving on to the next question.
"Then, would you tell me what you think of Zaron?"
"Are you asking me what I think of myself?"
"Well, yes. Or would you like me to ask you what you think of Millay after hearing someone say that all she talked about was you? I could do that," Keen winked at him knowingly.
Zaron found himself blushing at once.
"N-no. The first question is okay."
"Then, answer."
"Hmm..." It took the boy a long time before he could give the answer. "I'm myself, and that's all."
"Finally," Keen suddenly looked happy now that it was going to end. "Quietly confess the things you wish to atone for, or all the things that you are thankful for."
"I am thankful...for all the good things everyone on this ship has done for me," Zaron spoke from his heart. "But I'm also sorry for all the troubles and sadness I might have caused to anyone."
And, I'm most terribly sorry that I can't tell my family the truth, since it will only sadden them even more...
"Then, I shall pass judgement!" Keen raised both of his hands high in the air and paused dramatically, staying still in that position for good ten seconds that left the boy's pulse very much upset.
"You're forgiven!" Keen shouted and threw confetti all over his bed, an act which made Zaron let out a sigh in relief. Now he finally understood everyone's tension when they were waiting and hoping for him to give a nod in the confession box, and he hoped he wouldn't have to go through it again. "That's all, boy. Glad to have judged you. I hope you've found a peace of mind now," Keen said shortly and left his room.
A long time passed until there seemed to be no more visitors. Zaron, thinking that he probably had some time alone, closed his eyes and intended to take a rest.
But as he was about to drift into sleep, the boy heard the sound of the door being opened and closed again.
The unexpected last visitor for Zaron was Princess Flare...
She stepped to the side of his bed while he was silent, waiting for her to speak.
Their gaze met for a long time as Flare slowly opened her mouth.
"Zaron...I..."
Her voice trailed off. Only her marine blue eyes, brimming with tears, seemed to voicelessly tell everything she wanted to say to him, mesmerizing him not to say anything as well. For the next moments, their locked eyes seemed to be the only way they could communicate.
Then, she suddenly knelt down and gentle brushed her lips on the boy's cheek.
Zaron was frozen, his widened eyes staring at Flare as she stood up. Now tears were streaking down on the face of the Princess Heir of Obel, whom Zaron saw was always strong.
She wiped the tears out with the back of her hand, whispering softly before turning her back to him.
"I'm sorry..."
Then Flare strode out of the room without any more words, and without letting Zaron say anything.
Confused, the boy couldn't force himself to sleep anymore. He could only stare at the ceiling aimlessly, until evening came and Lino brought him his dinner, telling him that the boat was ready.
Zaron forced himself to touch the food that the three cooks specially made for him as his last meal on the ship, but again, he couldn't bring himself to eat much like the last time.
Finally, the boy pushed the plates away, turning to Lino, who was looking at him worriedly. He managed to give the King of Obel a faint smile and said:
"Let's go."
Lino supported the boy up on the deck where people had gathered to send him off. It was twilight. The sea of dusk appeared dark, deep purple under the orange and red sky. Bright rays of light bathed everything they touched in gold and made the ripples on the water surface glittered, while the other sides, untouched by the light, were covered in dark shadows, like a painting of contrast which combined both elements of light and darkness in it.
Faces of different people on the ship were looming around him: friends from his childhood, people who fought together with him for their ideal. The boy tried to meet all of their eyes with a warm smile, which, however, looked sad at the same time. Many people reached out their hands and touched his. Some squeezed it for a moment as if to tell him not to leave. But no one dared speak. There was total silence except for the sounds of crashing waves.
The last person Zaron saw standing closest to the boat at the rear of the ship was Princess Flare. She remained silent, bowing her head and refusing to look at him all the time as Lino took the boy to the small boat with a pair of oars, and some sacks: one made of leather and filled with drinking water, and the others contained various kind of dried food.
Zaron looked at the things in the boat in wonder, but then the King of Obel explained.
"At least I wanted to have these things prepared, just in case that you're all right, so you'll be able to find a way back on land."
Even though he didn't think they were necessary, the boy didn't protest. His only answer was:
"Thank you."
Lino didn't say anything in response, and asked another question instead.
"Zaron, will you promise me one thing?"
Now, Zaron was the one remaining silent.
"If..." Lino continued, "...you manage to survive, please promise me that you will return to me, okay?"
The boy could only bow his head, his lips pressed together hesitantly.
Up until now, he wasn't sure if he would survive, and even if he thought he did, he wasn't sure if he should return to the people he knew. It was uncertain if and when an unavoidable misfortune would occur, and he might cause people who cared for him more sufferings. He might even caused one of them to be the one to carry the burden of the rune after him.
"If you can't, it's all right," Lino said gently as he was sure Zaron wasn't going to give an answer. "Thank you for all your help."
And then the King of Obel suddenly embraced him, so tightly that he was taken by surprise. He heard the older man whisper softly beside his ear.
"Sometimes, I even fooled myself into thinking that you were really my son." The voice was so shaking that the boy wouldn't have imagine it belonging to Lino En Kuldes, the strong King of Obel who had never expressed his sorrow openly even once.
Zaron tried to hold back his own tears as he forced himself to speak.
"I respect, and love you as my father, too."
A small sigh escaped Lino's lips before he lowered his arms, patting Zaron's shoulder lightly with a forced smile on his face.
"Thank you for trying to make this old man happy."
Then the King of Obel set the boy down on the boat, speaking to him for the last time.
"I'm not going to say 'goodbye,' because I don't want you to leave, and I want you to return someday, so..."
Zaron felt Lino's hand touching his hair, caressing it soothingly just like when he was a small child.
"Good luck, Zaron. May we meet again."
The boy secretly bit his lower lip in silence, unable to give an answer. Then he heard Lino's voice telling the crew to release the boat, and he could feel that the chains supporting the boat were being lowered slowly and silently. No one said anything; there were only clatterings of chains and never-ending waves.
At last, the boat touched the water surface and was freed from the chains that bound them to the ship. It then drifted with the waves, moving away from the anchored IL MARE, drifting into the wide ocean where there was only an unfathomable depth of water, and the sky that spread covering it in all directions.
The boy looked up at the sky above the sea of dusk, with violet at its center, lightened into a faint tinge of azure blue, yellow, orange and deep scarlet at the horizon. His lips parted slightly, whispering a quiet farewell heard by no one.
"Good bye, everyone..."
Then he finally closed his eyes, obeying the calls of his weakened body. As the boat drifted away, the boy, too, drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep, sinking into a long dream which lasted as long as it seemed to be eternity.
Sailing out into the sea of dusk,
The two of us shall never cross paths again...
A golden light falls into the sea, the wind has paused
The two of us, frightened, hear only the light crashing of water
I've forgotten my path completely, what I believed in to make it this far
Leaving in me only enough kindness to say goodbye
No matter how many waves crash down as I cry out to my memories
I can never return to the shore you were on
With only the dusk in their embrace,
The waves of days past are already deep at the ocean's bottom
Knowing no sadness, dreaming blue dreams, fast asleep.
The light of an unknown town flickers beyond the dark waters
Back when the flowers of paradise seemed so very close
If I had crossed over one final distant wave at that time,
Would I have reached the shore you were on?
Sailing out into the sea of dusk,
The two of us shall never cross paths again
And the nights of falling asleep looking into your lonesome eyes will disappear.
Tasogare no Umi, by See-Saw
A/N: My first fan fiction for Suikoden IV. The whole story gradually found its way to my head after I've seen the rather-unsatisfying good ending of the game, mainly answering the doubts I have in mind for the ending (about the hero's identity as the Prince of Obel and why he was set adrift in the boat,) and featuring what I expected from the good ending.
This fan fiction is originally written in Thai and already finished, three chapters long. I'm working on the translation of the remaining two chapters. I'm sorry if there are some grammatical errors or unsuitable words used. I think I still have a lot to learn at translating and writing fiction in English. All comments and advices will be very much appreciated.
Many thanks to various topics and informations at suikosource, to Dark Master for recommending the song for the first chapter of the story, and ultimately, to all readers.