Because I love Byakuya, and many others do too, here is lots of Byakuya.

Disclaimer: Bleach—not mine. Fin.

The Day in the Life of Byakuya

6:05 AM

I woke up early this morning to wash my hair. Before that pig, Renji, could catch me singing in the shower and manicuring my nails. A guy must keep up his appearances, especially ones as hot as mine. I checked my beautiful self in the mirror and said, "Good morning, gorgeous. And you KNOW you are!" Now that my ego battery was fully charged, I showered and then carefully dried my silky midnight black hair. Of course, I did the hair-product commercial hair toss. Must check that lustrous sheen, you can never tell when it'll be there. Then, after carefully polishing my bone clips (how dare Renji call them 'girly barrettes'), I dressed accordingly in my flattering minimalist black and white uniform. I then proceeded to checked my sexy self in the mirror one more time. I was ready to grace the world with Byakuya.

7:10 AM

I went and woke up Renji. He sleeps like a dead rock, so I slapped his head with the hilt of my zanpakutou. Several times. After time number fourteen, the socially lower monkey woke up. And screamed. He thought I was a girl. Outrageous. How could a girl look as pretty, if not as handsome, as I do? I left ceremoniously as that red haired slob ran to the shower with his crusty old rubber ducky. Before going out again, I checked myself with the compact mirror I hide in my captain's jacket. Now time to eat breakfast and later grace the proletariat that is my fellow captains with my godly looks.

8:30 AM

Breakfast was delicious and very high-class, like myself. Brushed teeth, washed face again, hid my man-bag in my uniform, and headed out to start the day. Should check hair one more time, but I cannot be late for morning warm-ups for my team. What would those low-class animals do without my cultured presence and morality? Also, if I am late again, I will owe Renji lunch. I hate making lunch after a manicure.

9:30 AM

Warm-ups were excellent. I was early and directed an extremely vicious exercise routine today. Renji deserved it. I found out that when I was hitting his ridiculous head to awaken him, I chipped a nail. I would slap him, but that would be so very uncouth. Am currently on the way to a long captains' meeting about the rash of hollows in one specific district in Japan. Little vice-captain Hinamori just passed by and complimented my hair, saying it was, "looking very nice today". When it is time to elect new captains, I will remember to cast a vote in her favor. Renji can be a hangnail, er go hang, for all I care.

1:00 PM

That may have been the longest meeting I have ever sat through in my life. To pass the time after the first hour, in which all the important matters were discussed, I envisioned how I would beautify the captains. As Ichimaru Gin was, as the rabble say, "sucking up" to the first captain, I contemplated giving Ukitate a haircut. He has such nice hair, nice enough to rival mine, but the way he lets it trail in the dust and grow with split ends is wretched. Zaraki Kenpachi also needs a haircut and manicure. His nails seem bitten, but I bet he clips his nails with his zanpakutou. And the hair with the bells is giving him a receding hairline. Hitsugaya would do well to lower the dosage of gel he uses on his hair everyday. The chemicals must be making him short.

After Gin's little filibuster, Aizen retorted with a long speech. During this time, I contemplated making over Renji. Now that boy has a receding hairline, and his tattoos make him too ferocious to be desirable. He also needs to wash his hair more often, his head has its own personal snowstorm of dandruff every three days. Hinamori needs to wear more light, warm colors. Like pink. Will try to convince Aizen to allow uniform code to give exception to Hinamori. And Nemu needs to wear something beyond her little black ninja outfit. Her and Soi Fong. Must remember to buy them good clothes, a robot and a bitter, macho girl cannot comprehend how to select the color best suited for them. They can thank me later. Meeting still going, so I am writing in here now. Uh oh, we're going around the table to hear our opinions on the latest bill introduced by the Center 64. Will stop now.

3:00 PM

The meeting was finally over at 1:30 PM. The captains took lunch at our usual table, and, as usual, Ichimaru Gin revealed a marvelous lunch, French-themed today. I must get Kira to cook for the Kuchiki house if he ever tires of being a Shinigami. Mayuri gave the soap opera report today. He is quite the pathetic sap. He was blubbering through the synopsis due to the fact that Tanya, his favorite character, ends up losing her memory and forgets that she loves Charlie and goes off and professes her love to her brother Josh. Nitwit. Mayuri, I mean. He only likes Tanya because she is an android. Like him. I do not doubt my suspicion that Nemu was modeled after Tanya.

6:00 PM

Finally finished all the paperwork. Renji's handwriting was much too sloppy, so I was forced to rewrite five reports. His organization of the Hollow database was abysmal also, so I reorganized that. My man-bag's shoulder strap keeps slipping, so tonight I will fix it. My team also has city guard duty tonight, so I cannot watch If Only Tonight. Kaname better make a decent summary tomorrow during lunch. He tells it only by what he can "figure out" he says. If only he looked more carefully at the screen. He is certainly not as blind as he claims.

7:00 PM

Eating an early dinner before heading out for patrol. Our cook is inferior to Kira. This is distressing. Note to self: get a DNA sample of Kira and ask Mayuri to clone a chef Kira for the Kuchiki household. My steamed dumplings were so coarse and blasé compared to the ones Ichimaru let the captains sample two days ago. No time to dwell, I must go to section 16 of the city and give assignments to my underlings, aka team. Renji got there before me and then had the indecency to laugh at my compact mirror and man-bag when I pulled both out to check my hair. Quick running can ruin good hair, but I should not entertain thoughts that peasants comme Renji would know this. I shot him an icy death glare and proceeded to give instructions to the team. I gave Renji the worst area to patrol, yet he seemed excited that he was getting the greasy food vendor street full of lard and thieves. His clogged arteries and empty wallet, not mine. I surveyed the area near the prison, a craggy slope with miles of stairs. Knowing that nothing happens here, I settled down on a comfortable rock (now I know there is no such thing) and commenced savoring the barren, zen-like landscape. I would write a poem, but my muse wasn't there. Currently, I am satisfied with writing down daily activities. No doubt posterity will laud me for this excellent piece of work.

12:00 AM

It is so late, but I must relax before going to bed. If anyone found out that I cannot tolerate sleeping later than 10:30 PM, I will most surely be mocked. What am I saying? An early bed-time promotes healthy skin, fewer wrinkles, and lovely temperament. Those lowly night owls should be derided. Very sleepy now, Renji came back with dango and fried fish. He smelled of garbage, too. I took a shower just in case any of his putrid stench lingered on me. Well, that's all for today. I shall turn in now. My comfortable pajamas and stuffed raccoon toy Knightley await. Byakuya bides adieu.

(A/N): Okay, okay, I think Byakuya's like this, so don't kill me if this is not up to your mental par. Review and things. Yes. The stuffed raccoon Knightley will love you forever. Renji's stuffed monkey Martin has nothing on Knightley.