Notes: I've wanted to do this for so long! In all honesty, the premise came from a fanart of a SIGNED photo of a naked Kim, addressed to Wade, thanking him for all his hard work. What a thank you, that's all I can say.
The title is supposed to be a step down from full-blown 'wet dreams'. You could assume this is because Wade wills himself to stop just in time, every time (part of why they're so frustrating, no release).
Summary: Wade hits puberty, and puberty hits back, in the form of some very vivid dreams of Kim.
Slightly Damp Dreams
A Kim Possible Fanfic by
Nate Grey (XMAN0123-at-aol-dot-com)
"Waaaaade..." said a familiar singsong voice from the window. "Oh, Waaaaade..."
Grunting, Wade opened one bleary eye and focused it in that general direction. What he found there woke him up at once. "Oh, no. Not you again..."
The girlno, that was wrong. She was most definitely a young woman. The young woman smiled invitingly at him, before tossing her head and letting her gorgeous red locks cascade down her back. "I know you don't mean that, Wade. You were always so happy to see me before..." She made a big show of thrusting out her chest and shaking her pom-poms at him. He'd never been able to resist the cheerleading outfit.
Wade rolled onto his chest and pulled a pillow over his head, determined that she wouldn't get to him this time. He was a super genius, dammit! If he couldn't think of a way to avoid her, then it had to be impossible. Had to be.
And if so, what hope did he have? What hope did any man have against her?
Then her voice was at his ear. "Wade, don't be like that. You'll hurt my feelings..."
His expression tightened, as did his pajama bottoms. How was it that she always managed to use just the right amount of breath in his ear to drive him mad?
"Wade...please?"
Oh, that did it. He was putty, pure and simple.
With a defeated sigh, he rolled onto his back and proclaimed her the victor.
Naturally, she celebrated by turning him into her own personal cheerleading pyramid.
"GAH!" Wade cried as he sat up. "NOT AGAIN!"
It was the forty-second dream he'd had about her within two weeks, if his count was accurate. And that DIDN'T include dreams he had during the day, outside of his bed. Those were admittedly less intense and shorter, but they were all very troubling.
Even worse, Wade had noticed a pattern. His sixteenth birthday was tomorrow. The dreams were steadily getting more powerful, harder to suppress, even with his highly-trained subconscious mind. That was one problem with being a genius: he was his own weakness. His brain knew just how to slip the dreams past his defenses, and he was hard pressed to put a stop to them. With a feeling of rising dread, he'd already figured out what would happen.
He'd been able to maintain a semblance of control so far. But on the night of his sixteenth birthday, he would lose what little control he still had in the most explosive dream yet. It would officially mark Wade's entrance into puberty, as well as the day he'd have to quit Team Possible for sure.
Really, he'd almost quit as it was. Unable to even look Kim in the face anymore, he'd arranged for a network of former Global Justice and CIA agents to be her eyes and ears. It wasn't as good, or as fast, but in the end, it was really all he could do.
Not that that had stopped Kim from trying to contact him. He hadn't given a reason for his absence, and she'd sent him thirty-five messages that day alone. Wade couldn't bring himself to listen to any of them. Just the sound of her voice might set him off again.
"I'm sorry, Kim," Wade whispered sadly, and a bit wistfully, as he stared at the screen full of blinking messages. "I can't do this anymore." He dragged the mouse so that all the messages were highlighted, and then tapped the Delete key. "Please forgive me..."
Feeling like less than mud, he went back to bed, hoping his guilt would keep him from dreaming of her.
He was wrong. Very wrong.
A soft, familiar giggle got his attention. Warily, he opened one eye, and was rewarded (or cursed) with a sight that ensured he wouldn't get back to sleep anytime soon.
Kim and Monique were at the foot of his bed. Touching. No, fondling. No, necking, really.
It was the first time he'd been tempted by any girl other than Kim; she'd always been the star of his dreams so far.
The thought faded as Kim let out another sultry giggle. He was really going to have to start wearing earplugs to bed, for all the good it did.
"What are you waiting for, Wade?" Monique asked, winking at him. "Don't you want to help us make Oreos?"
"I'll be the creamy filling!" Kim offered, trailing off in another soft laugh as Monique went back to work on her neck.
Those were the last words he'd needed to hear. And he didn't even LIKE Oreos. Although he was quickly starting to see the appeal. Yes, definitely. Especially the lower parts of him.
Wade rolled onto his chest, trying to block out the noise with his pillow, especially when Kim's giggling turned into long, drawn-out moans of pleasure.
"I think he's trying to ignore us," Kim noted after a few moments.
"We can't have that," Monique said, and they both moved to the bed.
"Waaaaade..." Kim called softly in his left ear, leaning in close.
"Please go away," Wade whimpered.
"Not a chance, short, dark, and handsome," Monique replied, dangerously close to his right ear. "Now, either you help us with the Oreos, or we make them on top of you, anyway."
Wade briefly considered all that action occurring on his back. No, being WASTED on his back. Maybe that was what made him turn over, and maybe it wasn't. In the end, he still turned over. "Just finish me off quickly."
"Well, that's no fun," Kim complained lightly, even as she crawled onto his chest.
"We can work with it," Monique said reassuringly, lowering her lips to Kim's bare shoulder in a tender kiss.
Seconds later, he was indeed one half of a very delicious Oreo. They were the victors, and he just ended up looking like the half that had hit the milk first.
"NOOO!" Wade moaned as he sat up. "NOT AGAIN!"
But the evidence was still very much present in his pajama bottoms.
He glowered at the offending appendage. "I hate you."
As if punishing him, his brain instantly sent him an image of Monique nibbling on Kim's ear, and the appendage twitched eagerly.
"No, damn you!" Wade muttered as he climbed out of bed and stomped over to his computer. He pulled up some case files of the least attractive bad guys to take his mind off of the dream.
After staring at Monkey Fist, Duff Killigan, and Dr. Drakken for about an hour, Wade was convinced he wouldn't have anything to worry about for the rest of the night.
Wrong again.
A sharp cracking sound woke him up. Wade didn't want to look, really.
"Pout, slave, POUT!" a familiar voice demanded.
He had to look then.
Shego and Bonnie were standing over a submissive Kim, each wearing varying amounts of tight-fitting black leather. To make things worse, the former two were armed with whips. And Kim was continually using the puppy-dog pout, not on them, but on Wade.
It was working pretty well, too, because he didn't even try to fight.
Soon, he was the one being whipped while Kim kissed his wounds. Never mind that he'd never been into S&M, or anything of the sort. So long as Kim was touching him, and Shego and Bonnie were into it, what did he care?
They turned him into Kim's personal sex toy, and only after he was thoroughly exhausted did he realize that Shego and Bonnie still expected their turns. They were definitely the victors.
"DAMMIT, NO!" Wade yelled, rolling violently out of bed. "NO NO NO!"
He banged his head against the wall a few times, and it occurred to him that maybe he was using the wrong head. That was what made him realize his current embarrassing state would only make things much worse. That, and he should never think the words 'banged' and 'head' in the same sentence ever again.
"Please, make it stop," Wade whimpered, staring at the clock. It was 3:58 AM, and now officially his birthday.
He'd never been more scared in his life.
Wade didn't look up when he heard the window slide open. He already knew who it was, and was determined not to even give her the satisfaction of him looking and falling instantly under her seductive spell.
When two light footfalls announced her arrival in his room, he closed his eyes even tighter. He wouldn't let her get to him. Not tonight. His friendship with Kim meant too much to him, and if he didn't start showing some willpower soon, the dreams would only get worse. What would it be like, to only see her in his dreams, permanently? He hated to think about it, even now.
"Wade?" she asked softly, and from a respectful distance, no less. That was certainly a different approach.
"Go 'way, Dream Kim," he muttered into his pillow.
"Wade, look at me." She prodded his foot a few times.
He aimed a kick at her and missed. "Please. Just leave me alone...I can't do this anymore. You…the real you…means too much to me."
There was a slight pause. "Can't do what anymore?"
"Suffer from these dreams. So you have to go. I only want the real Kim back in my life, not these cheap imitations. I've made holograms that were better."
"What...sort of dreams?" she asked slowly.
Wade blinked. Something was wrong here. She was acting less like a Dream Kim, and more like...
"Oh. Oh, no. No no no no no!"
"Wade?"
"Kim...it's really you, isn't it?"
"I don't know anymore. Is Dream Kim what's bothering you?"
Wade hesitantly risked a glance over his shoulder.
Kim was standing there in full mission gear, looking at him expectantly. She didn't look mad, or even the slightest bit upset. She actually looked concerned.
Wade buried his head under his pillow. "Don't look at me!"
"Wade, you're just being silly now." She pulled the pillow away with a gentle tug and patted his shoulder. "Why don't we talk about these dreams?"
"I can't," Wade muttered miserably. "Not with you. Not with anyone. They're-"
"Intensely personal?" Kim offered rather casually.
"...yeah. How did you know?"
Still in that same offhand manner, she replied, "Ron said the same thing when he dreamed about me that way. So did Rufus. And Monique."
"Oh. I thought...WHAT?"
She shook her head. "I know. Puberty must be catching or something. Weird, since I never thought of any of you that way. Maybe I should, so I can get even with this Dream Kim that seems to be so popular among my best friends. Apparently, she's a real slut."
Wade blushed. "She's not, really," he disagreed. "It's our minds that make her that way. Especially mine."
"So you've been dreaming of me. Those kinds of dreams. The others avoided me for a while, but they didn't fall off of the planet completely." She reached over and laid her gloved hand on his. "Did you really think I'd let you get away so easily, Wade?"
"I was more counting on the fact that you wouldn't be able to find me."
"Fortunately, you're not the only genius hacker I have access to. You were a tough nut to crack, and it cost me quite a bit, but I was determined to find you. We have some unfinished business, mister."
"We do?" Wade asked, fear creeping into his voice.
Kim nodded, looking very serious. "We do, indeed. Close your eyes."
Wade did so, even as he felt his heart pounding. She couldn't. She wouldn't. Would she?
"Open up and take a look," Kim invited a few seconds later.
He made a silent wish that she'd still be dressed, and then opened his eyes.
In front of him was a cake, shaped to look like a Kimmunicator, with candles replacing most of the keys. The screen read, "Happy Sweet 16, Wade!"
"Ron said it was hard to pull off, what with our real-life model collecting dust and all," Kim said, shooting him a slightly accusing look. But it faded in a matter of seconds. "Go on, make a wish."
Wade already knew what he wanted.
'Please, don't let this be a dream, too.'
He blew out all the candles on his first try.
"So. Was it a good one?" Kim asked.
Wade nodded. "I think so."
"Great. Are you going to stop hiding from me now?"
He bit his lip. "Kim..."
"I did not come all this way to take no for an answer, Wade. If Dream Kim could convince you, I'm sure I can come up with a few methods of persuasion."
Wade's eyes narrowed. "Convince me you're not Dream Kim, that this is all real, and I'll be back to work first thing Monday morning."
Kim shrugged. "Fair enough. Will a pinch do?"
"Sure."
"Okay, but remember that you asked for it." Kim reached for his arm.
Wade nearly cried out at the painful pressure, however brief it was. He wondered if maybe Kim had poured her frustration at being abandoned into that pinch. Then he looked at her face and knew she had. Again, though, it faded quickly.
"Convinced?" she asked.
"Yeah," Wade murmured, rubbing his arm.
"Sorry. You did ask, though."
"I know."
"So can I give you your real present now?" Kim asked, brightening a bit. "I know you don't already have one, and you can't invent it, either."
"...okay," he relented.
Kim leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips tenderly brushing his cheek. "Happy Birthday, Wade," she whispered in his ear, just before her arms tightened painfully. "And if you EVER try to leave me again, I'll hunt you down and make you sorry."
"This is my present?" Wade gasped.
"Nope, this is." And before he could react, Kim leaned back, yanked up her shirt, and flashed him.
She was definitely the victor.
"Not again!" Wade yelled when he woke up on the floor. "DAMN YOU, DREAM KIM!"
"Wasn't a dream," Kim offered mildly. "You fainted."
His head whipped around to see Kim sitting at his computer. "Kim?"
"I said you fainted. I haven't decided if I'm insulted or not. Ron didn't faint. He just kind of drooled a bit and fell over. But he didn't lose consciousness. And Monique..." Kim trailed off, going a bit red in the face. "Well, that's not important." She turned to face him. "When I check my e-mail on Monday, I expect to see your un-resignation, Wade. If I don't, I know where you live. And I swear I'll make Dream Kim look like a choir girl when I'm done with you. Got it?"
"Yes, ma'am," Wade choked out.
She patted him on the head. "Good super genius." Her hand fell to his cheek, and she smiled fondly at him. "You're one of my dearest friends, Wade, and I'm not giving you up without a fight. So you do whatever you have to in order to keep these dreams from crippling you. You can still have them, just don't let them control your life."
Wade watched as she went to the window and opened it. There, she paused and looked back at him.
"Oh, and Wade? Do me a favor?"
"Yes, Kim?"
She grinned impishly. "Try not to go blind on me." With a saucy wink, she ducked out of the window and was gone.
Dream Kim was already starting to look like a saint.
"I hope you're ready, boys. Playtime is over."
A slim, sexy figure stepped into the moonlight, obviously wearing nothing but a smirk.
"I'm all about business and pleasure. You take care of my business, and I'll take care of your pleasure. Are we in agreement so far?"
They nodded eagerly.
"Good. And the business is?"
"Ruining Kim Possible," one of them answered.
"Excellent. Now drop those pants."
As they hurried to comply with her orders, Dream Bonnie smiled and strutted forward. Sometimes, they just made it far too easy for her. She didn't even need Dream Tara for this one. Although, if her boys did really well, she'd consider going the extra mile. Girls weren't really her thing, but two girls always pleased the guys, and she was, after all, all about pleasure.
Tim Possible sat up with a gasp. Wiping the slight sheen of sweat off of his face, he looked over the side of his bunk bed.
His twin brother, Jim, was staring right back up at him, and neither was surprised.
"You in?" Jim asked slowly.
For a long moment, Tim didn't reply. Finally, a grin broke out over his face, mirroring Jim's own.
"Hoosha," they whispered as one.
The End.
Apologies to those waiting desperately for the next installment of the "On" series. I get distracted easily, and these minifics (first Monique's, then Bonnie's, and now Wade's) keep popping into my head as I watch old episodes daily. (as you read I'm fighting the urge to do a Monique/Tara, just to show I can!) Plus I've secretly been working on a Lilo & Stitch crossover, and recently find myself attempting it again. (very hard to write Lilo as annoying from Kim's POV and no one else's) So currently, "On Board, Baby" has 5 chapters, and "The Invasion Interlude" has 3. Fear the madness, or enjoy it like I do.