It's me again. Please forgive all the Carter angst but when inspiration hits, who am I to refuse? Besides you know you love it. This first part doesn't have to much action but bear with me, no matter how long winded I am I'll eventually get to the point (or the gory part where Carter gets hurt). I debated whether or not to post this, it's not one of my better ones. (perhaps I'm to critical of myself, but...) Well I'll let you read and decide for yourself. Please review I love (need) feedback.

Disclaimer: What? What do you mean I don't own them? Yes I do! Oh, who am I kidding? I don't own them, actually the only characters in this story that I own are Ben and David who came from the empty space in my head where my mind is supposed to be....



He tried not to let it show, but patients that acted strangely or schizophrenic made him jumpy. He passed them off to other doctors, most never asked why, they already knew.

It had been well over a year but he knew this nagging fear would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"Carter?" Abby's voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Hi Abby."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking."

Her eyes searched him. "Anything you want to talk about?" She searched him with her eyes ever since she became his sponsor.

"I know what you're thinking Abby, it's not that."

"We can still talk if you want."

"No thanks. I'm on a break. I think I'll go get some coffee at Doc Magoo's." He started walking toward the lounge, feeling her watching him.

The lounge was empty. He opened his locker and took off his lab coat. A voice came from behind him, startling him.

"Aren't you going to examine me?"

He turned around and saw the schizophrenic patient he had passed off to Mark, standing next to the fridge in his hospital gown.

Carter could feel the fear creeping up inside him. "Um, no. I'm on break. Dr. Greene will be in to see you soon." He took a step backward, into the wall of lockers. "You really should go back to your room."

The man studied him in silence for a moment then said, "You don't like me."

"No, it's not that," he said trying to remain calm. "I just have to go. Why don't you go back to your room? Someone will be there soon."

Mark walked in with his head down, reading a chart. "Carter," he started, glancing up. He noticed the look on Carter's face and followed his gaze over to the man. He looked between Carter and the man, then realized who the patient was. "Mr. Bashall?" he said.

The man looked at him.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Greene." He moved toward the man his arm outstretched. "Why don't we go back to your room and I'll take a look at you." Mark led the man out of the lounge, glancing back at Carter as they walked.

Carter breathed a sigh of relief when the door closed. He stood for awhile mentally willing his heart to slow down. With shaking hands, he resumed getting his things from his locker.

He sighed as he closed his locker and leaned against it, closing his eyes.

"Carter?"

He jumped as his stomach turned.

"Carter are you ok?" Mark asked.

He looked at Mark. In reality he felt like he was going to be sick. "Yeah, Dr. Greene, I'm fine." He forced a smile.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm ok. Really." He added seeing Mark's doubting look. "I'm going to get some coffee." He left the lounge. Just like with Abby, Carter could feel Mark watching him.

He walked outside and took a breath of fresh air. It felt good to be outside.

Carter sighed as he walked into the quiet and warmth of Doc Magoo's. He ordered a coffee, then sat at a table. His mind wandered. He wished Lucy was alive. Of course he missed her, but this thought was provoked by selfishness. He wished Lucy was alive because if she was he would have someone to talk to. Someone who understood what it felt like to have a cold steel knife driven into their body.

Carter often wondered if Lucy had survived, would he have turned to drugs? He doubted it.

He supposed he could still talk to someone. Sure, they wouldn't have gone through what he had, but they could still talk. Abby. She had offered to talk. He wanted to talk to someone, who better than his sponsor? Before their AA meeting he would take her up on her offer.

He set down his coffee and looked around. A women was sitting in a booth with a young girl, probably five. Two men, one looking extremely nervous, the other extremely calm, sat at a table drinking beer. Other than that the place was empty. It was late, he looked at his watch. Eleven p.m. He needed to get back.

He stood up to go when the calm man got up pulled out a gun.

Carter froze, halfway between standing and sitting.

"This is a robbery," the man yelled, pointing his gun at the cashier. "Give me all the money now!"

The nervous man got up and pulled out his own gun. "Nobody move!" he hollered.

The cashier finished loading a bag with money and handed it to the calm man. The men were about to make their exit when an unsuspecting policeman walked in.

The nervous man saw him and before the cop even realized what was going on, he had pulled the trigger. Carter jumped up to help the fallen man when the nervous man quickly turned and pointed his gun at him.

"Whoa, whoa!" Carter said putting his hands up. "Easy, I'm a doctor."

The nervous man looked from Carter to the cop. "Oh my God, I shot a cop." He slowly lowered his gun.

Carter moved to the injured man slowly. He checked for a pulse then sighed. "He's dead."

"Ben!" the calm man yelled. "You killed a cop. Christ." He shook his head. "Let's go."

"What the..." Carter looked up and saw another cop standing about ten feet from the door, reaching for his gun.

"Oh, for God's sake!" the calm man said, exasperated. He pulled out his gun and grabbed Carter by his shirt, yanking him away from the door. "Come any closer and I'll killed him," he told the cop, pointing the gun at Carter's temple.

The cop pointed his gun at the man. "Put it down man."

"Ben go shut the door."

Ben stood there looking at him.

"Ben go shut the God damn door!"

Ben walked over and shut the door. He turned the lock.

"Go close the blinds." Ben did as ordered.

Carter wished the man would let him go.

"David, I knew this was a bad idea."

"Shut up, Ben! Everything was going fine until you got trigger happy." At this he pushed Carter away from him.

Carter could hear the little girl crying. Then he heard sirens. 'Ambulance or police?' he wondered. His pager went off. Ambulance.

Ben pointed his gun at Carter when he heard the beeping.

"Hey, relax. It's just my pager," Carter said hoping to calm him down.

"Ben stop swinging that gun every which way or I'm gonna take it." David told him.

Carter wished he would. He had already been stabbed, he preferred not to push his luck by being shot.

"David, what are we going to do?"

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking."

Carter looked at the mom and the little girl. He mouthed 'Are you ok?' The mother looked terrified but nodded yes.

Carter heard more sirens. David looked out of the blinds. "The cops are here," he announced.

"I'm going to go to jail for the rest of my life," Ben said.

"Not you're not Ben. You're forgetting we have hostages," he said gesturing at Carter and the woman. "We'll get out of here or die trying."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Do you hear those sirens?" Kerry asked Luka. "They didn't call in anymore trauma's."

She limped outside and was surprised at the sight that met her. Police cars were everywhere, surrounding Doc Magoo's.

"What's going on?" said Luka from behind her.

"I have no idea." She walked up to one of the police men. "What's happening?" she asked.

"A couple of men are holding customers hostage."

Another cop ran up to him. "Tyler says his partner was shot."

The first cop looked at Kerry. "You're going to have to stand back," he said unrolling yellow police tape.

She turned around and went back to Luka. Kerry told him what the cops had said.

"That's terrible."

She nodded and walked inside.

"Dr. Weaver?" Randi said. "Another trauma coming in."

"Page Carter. Where is he?"

Abby walked over looking at a chart. "He went to Doc Magoo's for some coffee."

Kerry and Luka's heads snapped up. "Doc Magoo's?" he said.

"Yeah." Abby glanced up and saw their pale faces. "What?"

"There are two men holding people hostage at Doc Magoo's," Luka explained.

"What!?" Abby set down her chart and went to look outside. She came back looking extremely shaken.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Carter could tell Ben hadn't meant to shoot the cop. This was most likely his first robbery and that's why he was so nervous.

David on the other hand seemed to have done this numerous times. He sat calmly by the phone waiting for it to ring.

Carter had moved to the booth with the mother and daughter while the cashier sat at a table. No one spoke. Carter jumped when the phone rang, breaking the silence.

"Hello," David said, almost as if he was bored.

Carter listened to David's end of the conversation.

"What do we want? We want to get the hell out of here... No I will not release one... No, the cop is dead... Ok look, I'll send one out. But that's it, no more." He hung up the phone and looked at the hostages. "Which one of you wants to leave?"

'Well that's a stupid question,' Carter thought. They all wanted to leave. Carter looked at the mother then at the little girl. The woman nodded. "Let the girl go," he said.

"What? Hey man," the cashier said, standing up. "What about me?"

Carter looked at him disbelieving. "She's only a child."

David looked at the cashier, disgusted. "That's terrible. She's only a kid. Sit down." He shook his head then went over to the little girl. "Come on sweetheart, I won't hurt you."

The girl clung to her mother even harder.

David looked at Carter. "Get her to go or the cashier leaves instead."

Carter stood up and went to the other side of the booth. "Hey what's your name?" When he got no response he looked at the mother.

"Maria.":

"Maria, that's a beautiful name. Maria, this man wants you to go out to the police, and so does your mom."

"I wont leave my mommy," she said quietly.

"I'll be fine please go," her mother said.

"Maria, I'll take care of your mom ok?" Carter promised.

Maria looked from Carter to her mother.

"Go ahead baby." He mom said.

She slowly loosened her grip from around her mother's neck.

"That's a good girl," Carter said as he picked her up and carried her to the door.

David opened the door and put the gun to Carter's back. "Don't try anything. Just put her down and come back inside."

Carter set down the little girl. "Go, Maria, run to the policemen."

He watched as she ran to the policemen. Carter felt David jam the gun into his back.

"Back inside."

He backed in slowly. David shut the door and Carter went back to the mother.

"Thank you," she whispered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When they saw the news vans arrive, Kerry had them turn on the t.v.

"Look!" Abby cried. "It's Carter!"

The all looked at the t.v and saw Carter setting down a little girl and talking to her.

Abby ran the entrance and saw Carter watching the little girl run. Then he backed inside.

She was worried for him. The people he was with had already shot a cop.

She stared at the door where Carter had stood just a moment before, then turned and walked back into the hospital.