I do not own TMNT. Wish I did, but I can almost one hundred percent guarantee that I never will.

Thoughts

Raph walked down the sewers, thinking of what he had just witnessed. There was nothing that I could do…absolutely NOTHING! Why did this happen? Why did she have to be there? WHY ME! Raph thought, he made it to the Lair without even paying attention to where he was going. Raph opened the door and walked in, not paying attention to anything or anyone around him. "Hey Raph!" Mikey called, his eyes still on the television. "Where did ya-WHAT THA FUCK HAPPENED?" Mikey yelled this when he saw that Raph was soaked in blood. His entire body was leaking of his blood, and it mingled with some that was not his. Deep gashes and cut lined his arms and legs; a long slash was under his left eye. Raph walked right past Mikey after he removed the different articles of clothing. "Raph?" Raph continued to walk right past him. When he did look in Mikey's direction, he looked right through him. Had Mikey had been paying attention; he would have noticed that Raph had a small box in his right hand. Raph walked into right room, not even closing the entrance door, or the one to his room for that matter. Donnie, Leo, and Master Splinter all ran into the living room when they heard Mikey scream. The first things that they noticed when they walked into the living room were bloody footprints that led from the open entrance door to Raph's room.

"Michelangelo, what happened?" Master Splinter asked. Mikey just sat that, mouth partially open, eyes wide, and lightly shaking. "Michelangelo!" Mikey looked at them and pointed a shaking finger towards Raph's room. Fear ran through them as they slowly walked along the blood trail. Master Splinter entered the room first, followed by Leo, then Donnie. "Raphael?" The whole room was encased in darkness, not a single light shown. Their eyes began to adjust and they saw a figure sitting near Raph's bed.

"Raph?" Leo called. The figures head turned slightly, looking in their direction, but not even seeing them. Master Splinter knew that something was not right.

"My sons, I want you to leave," Master Splinter said. Donnie and Leo nodded as they walked out of the room, but not before casting another glance at Raph. Master Splinter could tell that something bad had happened to Raph when he left. "Raphael?" Raph did not speak; he just watched the area that Master Splinter was in. Master Splinter noticed that there was something in Raph's hand and that he was fiddling with it. "What is that?"

"Leave," Raph said, he did not ask, he almost ordered. Master Splinter could see that Raph was shaking and the scent of blood was starting to make him lightheaded. "Please." Master Splinter noticed a bit of sorrow in Raph's tone.

"If you ever want to speak, you know where I will be," Master Splinter said as he left the room. Raph slowly stood up; the lack of blood flowing through him was starting to slow his thoughts. Must…hide…this. In…the wall. They won't… …look there. Bu' how? To weak now, will do I' tomorrow. Raph put it underneath his pillow as he collapsed on the floor. Can' move. Raph's vision swam as he saw four figures run in.

With Leo, Mikey, Master Splinter, and Donnie

"Mike, do you know why Raph was acting like that?" Donnie asked the still shaking Mikey after he had cleaned up the blood. Leo was making every one a cup of tea. Mikey shook his head.

"You…you should've seen his face," Mikey said. Leo came back with a few steaming cups of tea.

"Here Mike," Leo said as he handed Mikey a cup, then Leo gave a cup to Donnie and took one for himself. Mikey took it with shaking hands as he took a sip.

"What did Raph look like?" Donnie asked, not liking the way the Mikey was freaking out. It took a lot to freak Mikey out when it came to the expressions on faces.

"Not what he looked like," Mikey said as he stared at his tea. "It was his eyes. He looked at me, without seeing me." Donnie and Leo exchanged looks of worry as Master Splinter exited Raph's room.

"Did you find anything out?" Leo asked Master Splinter as he handed him a cup of tea. Master Splinter shook his head.

"All I could tell was that Raphael is disturbed by something, and that he is injured," Master Splinter replied. Before anyone else could ask anything else, a thud was heard from Raph's room. Everyone dropped the cups of tea, which shattered on the floor, and ran into Raph's room. They found Raph's figure on the floor. Donnie, Leo, and Master Splinter went to help Raph get up, but when they touched him, a wet, warm, sticky substance met their fingers. They knew what it was as soon as they felt it.

"Blood," Leo said. Mikey began to shake more fiercely when Leo said this. Leo, Donnie, and Master Splinter ignored the blood as they picked up and carried Raph into the light. Donnie and Leo gasped when they saw the condition Raph was in. Donnie sent Mikey to get some bandages, and Leo to get a bowl of warm water. When Donnie got the required materials, him and Master Splinter began to wipe the semi-dried blood off of Raph. Donnie then wrapped all of the major injuries.

"Should we put Raph back in his room?" Mikey asked Donnie and Master Splinter. Master Splinter shook his head.

"We should let Raphael rest for a while," Master Splinter said. Deep down, Master Splinter knew that Raph was trying to hide something in there and if they went in, they would find it. Donnie, Mikey, and Leo nodded.

"Hey Mike," Leo called. "Can you help me pick up the glass?" Mikey nodded, remembering how they had dropped the cups. Donnie went and got their mop so he could clean up the tea after all of the glass was gone. After watching Raph for a few hours, Master Splinter decided that they should all get some sleep. After they went into their own rooms, Raph began to stir.

Raph's dream

Raph looked around, he saw that he was standing in a dimly lit alley. A young girl was standing there with him. Raph was wearing his hat and coat so she could not see him though. As they talked about things that they liked, Purple Dragons entered the alley and cut off all of the exits. Raph pulled out his Sai and began to defend her. Soon, a Purple Dragon injected Raph with a paralysis forming liquid. Raph slumped to the ground as they beat him fiercely. The teenaged girl cried out as they saw her and began to do the same; only they brutally raped her also. After the Purple Dragons left, the young woman crawled over to Raph and put a small wooden box in his hands. "Here Raph," she whispered in a dying voice. The box was soaked with her blood and bloody fingerprints. "I want you to…have this. But don't look in it until you are ready…promise me that?" Raph nodded and a small smile claimed her face. "Thank you, for everything." With those last words, the teenager died and her dead body fell on Raph. Raph noticed the background change in his mind.

All of a sudden, Raph was standing in a graveyard and he could move. There was a thick fog covering the area. Raph walked around and noticed a figure. As Raph walked towards the silhouette, he noticed that it was the girl that had died after she gave him that box. Maybe she lived. Please don't let this be a dream. When Raph was close enough, he saw that she had not survived, like he had hoped.

"You let me die!" She screamed. Her eyes were fully white, her dark hair and clothes were matted with her dried blood and dirt. Her skin was a ghastly gray and it barely hung on her bones. "You didn't even TRY to save me!" Raph stood in shock as she leaped at him. She took her hands and began to strangle Raph. Raph tried to call for her to stop, but something in him made him not do anything to stop her. Raph felt like if he hurt her here, he would hurt her in real life. As she continued to strangle him, she screamed out that she hated him for not saving her. Raph felt all of the life drain out of him, his vision turned white and he saw no more of the graveyard…for now. Instead, he saw the entire thing happen again, starting in the alley…

With Leo, Master Splinter, Donnie, and Mikey

Master Splinter sat in his room, not being able to sleep. Something inside of him screamed that something was wrong, that something bad was going to happen. Master Splinter was sure that his other sons were having the same, or at least similar, feelings. He knew that they would not get a wink of sleep if one of their brothers were injured in even the slightest way. Master Splinter tried to meditate, to clear his head and organize his thoughts when he heard it. An ear-shattering scream filled the air and he knew immediately whom it had come from…Raph. Master Splinter opened his door and ran as fast as he could to the couch. In a matter of seconds, his other sons had joined him. They watched as Raph thrashed around, then he went completely still. Master Splinter checked Raph's pulse to see if he was even breathing. "Raphael is alive," Master Splinter said, disproving their thoughts. Raph began to thrash again only this time he grabbed his Sai. Everyone ducked as Raph threw both Sai at them. They looked up and saw that the Sai were in the ceiling.

"I say we remove everything sharp from Raph," Mikey said, fearing what would have happened if he hit them, seeing how they stuck in the ceiling with little effort from Raph. Donnie, Leo, and Master Splinter nodded. They looked back at Raph and saw that he was perfectly still.

"I think that we should let Raph sleep," Donnie said. They all left the room, after taking a last glance at Raph, who was still not moving. In a few more hours, no one had left their room as Raph woke up.

"What am I doing here?" Raph asked in a hoarse voice. Raph looked down and saw that his Sai were missing and that he was bandaged. Raph shrugged of the missing Sai as he quietly walked to his room. Raph closed the door after him, extinguishing the dull lights that emanated form the crack in Leo, Mikey, Donnie, and Master Splinter's rooms. Raph knew where everything in his room was, so he walked over to his bed and pulled the box out from underneath his pillow. Raph reached underneath his bed and grabbed one of Donnie's tools that he snuck away. Raph began to cut a square of the wall that was made of stone. The two things that Raph liked about Donnie inventions were that they were silent and powerful. Raph turned of the tool and placed it back underneath his bed. Raph pulled out a safe that he had found when he was six, it was fairly small, but so was the hole. Raph saw that the box fit in there perfectly. He closed the safe and put it in the whole and took some plaster that he had used to repair a few things before. He used the plaster and covered the area. No one will notice the difference; the colors are exactly the same. Raph then hid any of the evidence and he lied down on his bed. Raph yawned as he went to sleep, the image of his last dream still in his mind. The same dream came back to him as he rested.

With the others

Mikey exited his room after spending an hour trying to sleep and nothing. The first thing that Mikey noticed was that Raph was gone. Mikey ran to their door s and opened them. "Raph's gone!" They began to search the Lair, when Master Splinter called it off. When Mikey went to ask why, Master Splinter opened Raph's door and pointed to a sleeping Raph, sure he was thrashing again, but at least they found him. At eight in the morning, Raph came swaggering out of his room. Everyone else was already up and about.

"What are you doing up?" Leo asked. "You should be sleeping." Raph remembered his dreams and decided against it. "At least have Don check your wounds." Raph walked over to the kitchen and saw the other two turtles and Master Splinter.

"Raph!" Donnie yelled, causing everyone to turn their direction to him. "What are you doing up?"

"Couldn' sleep," Raph muttered as he sat down in one of the chairs.

"I'll bet," Mikey said as he removed the omelet from the pan. "Omelets anyone?" Raph shook his head.

"None for me," Raph muttered. Donnie took one and Master Splinter had tea.

"LEO! WANT AN OMELTE? THEY'RE GOOD!" Mikey yelled. Leo came in rolling his eyes.

"You do know that the door was open…right?" Leo said. Mikey grinned as he shook his head. "Sure, I'll have one." Mikey handed a plate with an omelet on it to Leo, who took it and sat down.

"Raphael," Master Splinter said as he stood up. "May I have a word with you." Raph knew that that was not a question, but an order. What did I do now? Raph stood up and followed Master Splinter out of the room and into Master Splinter's room, where he closed the door. "Would you like to tell me what has happened when you went out for a patrol last night?" Raph's eyes filled with sorrow as he looked at the floor. "I see; I will not force you to speak Raphael. When you are ready, you can tell me." Raph looked up at Master Splinter and Master Splinter hugged him. It broke Master Splinter's heart to see his son so torn. Raph hugged back and tears began to fall from his eyes.

"It was horrible," Raph whispered. Master Splinter felt sorrow for his son. He had never seen him break down before, and he knew that it really had to be horrible to have that kind of effect on Raph.

"It is alright Raphael," Master Splinter said, comforting Raph. Master Splinter began to rock back and forth as Raph continued to cry silently. "It is over now." Raph muttered something that Master Splinter could not understand as they let go.

"Thanks," Raph said as he left Master Splinter's room and headed towards his. Raph locked the door and cried himself to sleep, where the dream returned with more brutality. Raph woke up in a few hours feeling more miserable than he did earlier. Raph shakily stood up and walked out of his room, where he collapsed on the couch. Mikey had finished cooking lunch and went to go watch the television when he was that Raph was passed out on the couch. Mikey got a blanket and covered Raph. That's when Mikey noticed something. Raph was crying in his sleep and muttering the words 'no' and 'stop' over and over again. Mikey wiped the tears from Raph's face. Mikey decided that watching the television could wait. Mikey sat next to Raph and watched him sleep, until he fell asleep. Raph woke up and saw his Sai in the ceiling. What the fuck? He looked around and saw Mikey sleeping. Raph moved Mikey onto his shell on the couch and covered him with the blanket. Raph snuck into Donnie's room and got the ladder. He used it to reach the ceiling, where he had to pry his Sai out. Raph then climbed down, put his Sai in his belt, and returned the ladder. Raph went into the kitchen for a drink. After drinking a glass of water, Raph walked into his room and began to hit his punching bag with all that he could. The dream still ringing in his ears, "You let me die"! Raph tired himself out after hitting it for five straight hours. Raph sat on his floor breathing heavily. Raph could barely feel his arms as his eyelids began to close. He snapped them open, but they began to close again, Raph was losing this fight. I can' sleep. She'll be there. I'll have ta see wha' they did again. Raph fell asleep where he was.

With Donnie

Donnie walked out of his room to see a sleeping Mikey. Donnie smiled as he walked over to Mikey. "Mike!" Donnie yelled as he shook him. Mikey lightly opened his eyes and looked at Donnie.

"Hiya Don!" Mikey muttered as he tried to sleep. Donnie shook his head at Mikey's antics.

"Mike, why don't you sleep in your bed?" Right then Mikey woke up.

"Where's Raph?"

"Probably in his room." Right then they heard a light moan from Raph's room. Donnie and Mikey ran in the room to find Raph slumped against his wall near his punching bag. Raph's jaw was clenched, his eyes were slammed shut, and his hands were tightly griping both of his Sai. Raph was breathing heavily again. "Raph?" Right then, Raph threw his Sai and hit Donnie and Mikey in their arms. The longest prong went all the way through their upper arms, directly in the middle, between their shoulders and above their elbows. Raph muttered the word 'stop' as he fell to his side. Donnie got some bandages from his room. He removed the Sai from Mikey and wrapped his right arm. Donnie then removed the Sai from himself and wrapped his left arm. Mikey took the Sai out of the room and cleaned them, and then he left them by the sink. When Mikey returned, Donnie helped him carry Raph to his bed.

"That hurt," Mikey said as he rubbed his sore arm. When Raph woke up, Donnie and Mikey told him what had happened and they came up with the idea that Raph would lock his door, and no one would enter while it was locked. Raph continued to have the dream. He never told anyone about her, as he image kept burning in his eyes every night.

End.

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