Summary: Ku ku ku- weird crossover fiction from The Senile One! (bad word warning)

Inuyasha & Kagome's Excellent Adventure

Chapter One: The Adventure Begins

Inuyasha scowled at Kagome as she sat on the edge of the Bone-Eater's well. "So, Kagome, exactly WHY do you think you need to go back this time?" scoffed Inuyasha.

Kagome smiled patiently at Inuyasha. "Well, for one thing, I'm having a huge Western History exam this week. I have to study. And..."

"So, big deal, no problem," interrupted Inuyasha. "I'm from the western lands, ya know. Ask me anything, I'll tell you all about it!"

"Uh...not those Western lands, Inuyasha. But listen. I'll bring you back some more of that yummy ramen, OK?"

Inuyasha sighed, "I guess that'd be ..." Inuyasha tensed. "I smell something! Kagome, watch out!" he screamed, as he arched himself protectively over his favorite source of instant food, gripping her shoulders.

"Mwahahahaha," sneered a tall, dark haired youkai standing behind them. "I truly find it hard to believe my cousins Manten and Hiten were defeated by a weak hanyou and a silly girl, but nevertheless, they WILL be avenged. Prepare to die, Inuyasha!"

"Kagome, go home NOW!" yelled Inuyasha, as he gave her a shove into the well.

Time seemed to slow down as the youkai hurled a luminous thunderbolt in their direction. Kagome, who was beginning to fall backwards into the well, grabbed for Inuyasha's haori. "Incoming!" she screamed as the two of them lost their balance together, plunging into the well.

"Well, that was stupid," yelled Inuyasha. "Now I'm just going to have to go back while that idiot flings thunderbolts at me." The air surrounding them was changing to that familiar misty sparkle that accompanied time travel.

"Inuyasha, look behind you!" screamed Kagome as she clung tighter to him and shut her eyes. A huge thunderbolt had followed them into the well, striking them and the timestream at the same time. At once, a blinding blaze of light exploded outward from the impact, knocking them unconscious. The soft glow of the timestream began to change, first to a barren tunnel, then to a starfield, then to a swirling spiral of colors. At the center of the spiral was a glass enclosure, and within that were...two guys.

"Whoa, dude, look out this window over here," said guy number one, who was short with a curly mop of blond hair. "There's something fully weird that just appeared. You totally gotta check it out." He eyed his companion, who was tall and thin, with a shock of unruly long dark hair.

"You are full-on NOT joking, Bill, " said guy number two, as he turned to look. "It's like there's a weird guy in a red dress holding a bodacious babe. And they're just floating out there!Are they sleeping or what?"

"No, man, I think they fainted, or something. Maybe we should, like, help them," said Bill. In answer, Ted eased the door of their booth open, and each of them grabbed one of our beloved characters by the arm and drew them in to safety, propping them up against the wall of the tiny glass booth. "It figures you got to grab the babe, dude," said Bill.

"Yeah, and she looks totally hot," exclaimed Ted, as Kagome began to stir. "But what's up with the cross-dressing guy? He's, like, got claws and dog ears and stuff."

"I dunno, Ted. Maybe he's some kind of heinous alien that captured this babe. Think we should push him out of here before he wakes up?"

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!", screamed Kagome. "Inuyaaaashaaaa!"

"T..TOO LATE!", stuttered Ted, as Inuyasha's eyes popped open and he began to growl, grabbing Kagome, and slicing Ted's shirt open in the process.

"Whoa, I guess he didn't kidnap her or anything, if she's hugging him like that, " said Bill. "But what the heck are they saying, dude?"

"Uhm, I dunno, but I think they're, like, speaking French or something. Bon jour?" Ted asked hopefully, as Inuyasha took another swipe at him, backing him into a corner.

"We need to get this hostile alien dude and his hot babe to Rufus. He'll know what to do," offered Bill as he surreptitiously punched in some numbers on the telephone keypad behind him. The swirling spiral they were traveling through changed direction, and instantly, they found themselves in a huge auditorium-style classroom, surrounded by smiling students that sat in neat rows of desks, calmly watching as the booth materialized in the center of the room.

Inuyasha burst out of the phone booth, pulling Kagome aside and drawing Tessaiga, quickly followed by Bill and Ted.

"Dude, look at the size of that sword!" exclaimed Bill. "Do you think this guy is like, compensating for something, or what?" he snickered to Ted.

"No way, man, if he felt that way, he definitely wouldn't be wearing a dress," replied Ted. "Hey, did you ever notice that Master Rufus wears a dress, too..."

"It's a robe, boys," called Rufus, a tall dignified figure, who indeed was wearing a tasteful robe, his long hair neatly coifed in a ponytail. He calmly spread his arms wide in a universal gesture of peace as he spoke softly to Inuyasha and Kagome.

"Master Rufus, dude, you are a man of many talents," exclaimed Bill. "I didn't know you spoke French!"

"Uhm, actually I don't Bill," Rufus calmly explained. "These people speak Japanese, which was easy enough to guess from the haori this being is wearing. In this peaceful era of the future, you will find that nearly everyone speaks Japanese as well as English. Indeed, our economy is so good that prosperity is universal. When we aren't writing tunes and playing music, we spend our time reading manga and watching anime in the original language."

Inuyasha had sheathed his Tessaiga and murmured a few quiet words to Kagome. Rufus approached them cautiously and held out some metal bracelets, indicating that they should put them on.

"What is this place? Who are you people?" demanded Inuyashsa after he donned his bracelet.

"Ah, I see the universal translation bracelets are working," said Rufus. "Well, this is the future and..."

"Oh, no ya don't," snapped Inuyasha. "I've been to the future and it was nothing like this."

"Uhm, actually, Inuyashsa, I think he means a future even beyond my era," Kagome inserted timidly.

Rufus continued, "Yes, and..."

"Well, who the hell are these two guys and what were they doing in our well?" demanded Inuyasha. "And how do we get out of this place?"

Rufus stood straight as he swept his arm in a majestic arc toward Bill and Ted. "Allow me to present Theodore Logan and Bill S. Preston, Esquire. They are, or, rather, will be, the saviors of our world and the inspiration for our peaceful society." At this pronouncement, many of the students, who had been politely watching the action below, put up their hands with peace signs as they bowed to Bill and Ted. Rufus continued, "As to how you got here, I would have to guess that somehow your time travel device became damaged just as you entered and you were thrown off course. We can easily take you back to your own time and place with our technology, but a problem still remains. Your own time travel device is surely in need of repair; such a shift as you have undergone indicates a ruined temporal acceleration crystal."

"Hmmm...is that anything like a Shikon Jewel?" ventured Kagome.

"Unfortunately not," Rufus said. "And we no longer use such technology in our modern machines, so it won't be easy to get a replacement part. But I know where you can get one. Just by coincidence, Bill and Ted were on their way to Medieval Europe in order to learn first hand the origins of western history and it just so happens that there is rumored to be a source of these crystals..."

"History?" squealed Kagome excitedly. "Inuyasha, we can kill two birds with one stone! For once, an adventure that doesn't spoil my study plans. I love it!"

"We don't have time for this!" raved Inuyasha. "We should be hunting down Naraku and slaughtering him and what about..."

"Kagome," whispered Ted. "I think your dog friend has rabies or something. Didn't he, like, get his shots?"

"Uhm, well, he seems a little rough, but trust me, deep inside he's really kindhearted, honest," Kagome whispered back as Inuyasha continued to rant.

Smiling beatifically, Rufus gestured to the surrounding students, who immediately started playing an ear-jarring heavy metal chorus on their desk-top synthesizers. "Even in this age, we realize the truth of the saying 'Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast'. Observe."

Inuyasha became strangely pensive as he listened to the throbbing music. "Ya know, Kagome, it is true that we need the well fixed if we're gonna use it to travel back and forth. And if we hurry..." His voice trailed off as he sighed contentedly.

"Then it's settled," proclaimed Rufus as he prodded the group of four towards the time travel phone booth, gently pushed them in and closed the door. "Go back to the feudal era of Europe, learn some history, and find a crystal while you're at it, OK? And remember this: Be Excellent To Each Other !"

"Party on, dude!" voiced Bill and Ted together. Looking at each other, they smiled as they played a few chords of air guitar. "See ya when we get back!"

A sheath of mist surrounded the booth and it was gone in a flash. "Interesting," mused Rufus as he turned back to his students of classical rock philosophy. "And now for the rest of today's lesson..."

End Chapter One.